So hot guy- but how do you ask a guy out?

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Okay ladies, I have not been single in 9 years and have no idea how to "play" this game but there is this guy that works at Starbucks who is so adorable and sweet and nice. He is also smart, applying to the PHD programs in Physcology. We have flirted a little and then i told a co=worker that I thought he was totally cute and she told him.

So yesterday morning I went in and she told me he would be working around my lunch time. So i went in the acting like I was getting drinks for co-workers and we chatted and chatted. He seemed kinda embarrassed but there were other people in the store. But then as I was leaving he said, I am working tomorrow night!!! So I was like, huh, well maybe he was saying that to have me come in and talk to him again.

But how do you ask a guy out or do you wait for him to ask you out. I am pretty blunt and not shy so if I like someone I want to get to know them. But I can see it is weird b/c it is HIS place of work and he probably cant just ask someone out in there? What should I do? Look Pathetic and turn in to a Starbucks Pariah?

Help me single people!! I am a novice at this. And as terrible as this sounds, I have always been the pursued, not the pursuer!

Sarah

[lisabar36]

Hi, Good for you. I am not single, I have a boyfriend, but I can tell you what I would do if I were you. LOL I would write your name and number on paper, go in and order something, and discretely hand it to him so the entire place or customers don't see so he won't get to embarrassed. If not alot of people are around I would say call me sometime if you want. He will get the hint, lol. Then the ball is in his court and its then up to him to persue, but you made the effort. If your not shy, you should have no problem doing this. lol It is perfectly ok for the girl to make the effort first and I bet he will be flattered. Good luck and keep us posted what you decide.

[petrie86]

I'm newly single, just out of a 3 1/2 year relationship. I also have always been persued not the pursuer... SO im not so good at giving advice on asking guys out. Either kick up the knotch on the flirting or you could do what lisbar said and descretly give him your number. Guys love that stuff, major turn on. I wish you the best of luck!

Rach

[BrittanysDance]

Okay, so maybe this is kinda dorky...but....

How about...the old fashioned "Wanna meet for coffee?" LOL Okay so I know he works at Starbucks...but.... play with it and have fun :smile tee Break the ice! I'm sure he gets breaks right? How about finding out when his breaks are and then sit down with a coffee, biscotti or some other kind of "treat" and just chat for a bit. Feel the "air" out a little and see where he is "one on one" - then just go in for the "Would you like to go see a movie sometime?" or something along those lines?

I dont know your personality but you sound bubbly and fun :woohoo: so go with it and see where it leads you!

Hugs
Brittany

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Thanks so much ladies. I dont know what it is about this one but I get this huge smile on my face everytime I talk to him and my good mood lasts all day!

The other people in the store said he was blushing and all happy when they told him I thought he was cute. Then I went in specifically when he was working and he was trying really hard to talk to me. When I went to leave he said "oh I work tomorrow night" like trying to tell me to come in again. I cant cause i have a birthday dinner but I thought I would try. He is so darn cute. He shaved his head b/c his nephew is going through Chemo and didnt want him to feel embarrassed! How sweet is that.

I dont know if I am bold enough for the phone number thing but might try it after awhile. I am shy but not shy. I can make it known for sure that I am interested, or not!

Sarah

[charmedx3]

Wow! Good for you! Try just talking to him. find out (if you can ) when his shifts end and show up towards the end of one and "see what happens". It sounds like he is interested. keep us updated!

[traceann]

WOO HOO! I think if he told you when he was working next - that's definitely interest, otherwise he would have kept his mouth shut, lol!!!! ;) I love the "wanna meet for coffee" that's a hoot and great ice-breaker too, lol. Something like "I'm sure you get asked this all time, but would you like to meet for coffee?" like Brittany said. That's so cute and humorous, how can he say no to such a cute, clever, intelligent and witty girl? ;) Or "would you like to meet for coffee someplace where you don't have to make it?" if there's another acceptable place for a cup etc. :) Do keep us posted!!!!! ;)

[mary124]

Its been too many years for me to give you any advise; but I have to agree that he sounds like he is interested in you-- what with telling your co-worker when he is working. Find out when his shifts ends and be there towards that time; instead of your home number, give him your cell number. good luck

[SharonA]

It has been a very long time since I was single, but I don't think it a very good idea to give him your phone number quite yet. I think the note idea is great. :)

[lisabar36]

LOL, I love Traceys idea! I got a kick out of that one. Want to meet for coffee someplace where you don't have to make it. LOL :smile tee

[traceann]

LOL, with all of us backing her up - how can she go wrong, not just one super smart clever woman, but tons of us - he's as good as caught! ;)

[ABliske]

I don't think him working there will stop him from asking you out. I am no longer single but back in the day I got asked out by a guy who worked at Wells Fargo. We would chat and I told him it was my b-day the past weekend ...... I got some flowers from a secret admirer.
He said it was him. There's no way it could have been. He didn't know where I lived, but it started a fun summer dating thing.
I wish you luck! I think just give him a little time. Are you sure he's not taken?
Maybe in a week make more of a move.

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Whoo hoo you dont know how much of a smile you all brought to my face with your comments! Now i am all fired up and wanting to go over there to flirt and see what happens. He seemed totally interested and I know he doesnt have a girlfriend. Plus he said "oh I never see you in the store anymore" and I said well I only come in early and he said " I dont work early in the morning but one day a week" Then as I left he called, well I am working tomorrow night. Now i have to find a way to go there in tonight and flirt.

Maybe ask him out for coffee? Or say, oh what do you like to do in your time off? Etc. Keep the suggestions coming ladies, they are getting me all fired up!
Sarah

[ICNJess]

I am in the same boat as you! After 8 1/2 years of being with someone, I am at a loss on how to take that first step but I LOVE this thread! I just want to say good luck and keep us posted!!!

[IC SARAH-CPP]

I have no problem giving him my cell phone number, I would just be really embarrassed if he didn't call! I was kinda hoping to flirt it up with him a little more, use my powers of seduction, and then give him my number or hope he asked me out.

I know everyone in the stores knows it is him that I am interested in. They keep saying, oh he keeps blushing, etc. We are similar in age, same level in school-right now, and he just seems so.......nice. We will see though. I

As sad as this is, I am going to try to go over there and talk to him tonight. Act like I need a Starbucks run and make sure I look really cute :)

Sarah

[petrie86]

I'm smiling ear to ear bc I feel like apart of this whole thing... lol go get um girl!!! Get all dressed up and say your going to meet a gf but needed some coffee first. Flirt it up alot more and ask what he does when he's not working and twirl you hair and flirt and he will get the idea your pretty much asking him to take you out! Keep us posted!

[traceann]

Oh great idea Rachel on the reason why you're all hotted up!!! Yup, meeting a gf for dinner and thought you'd stop for a cup of coffee on the way since you were running early and had some time to kill!!! Knock his socks off!!!!! ;)

[SharonA]

I am looking forward to the next installment of "How Sarah Met the Coffee Guy". Like I said before, it has been a long time since I was single but this is so much fun. I feel like "one of the girls" again. :)

[traceann]

Oh yeah, I am with you guys on that, it's great to be "hanging out with the girls", lol!! ;) And think of all the experience if you added us all up together! ;) Erm, maybe I should say "knowledge" instead? :biglaugh: Love the title Sharon, reminds me of what the title of a "Friends" episode would be "The One How Sarah Met The Coffee Guy", lol. And then she comes back and tells us all about it, lol. Living vicariously through Sarah - gee thanks girl!!! ;)

XOXO

[snowgirl]

This is good. Better then tv. Vicky

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Okay I thought I would let you know that I came home from work and reapplied a little makeup, changed in to a cute sundress and I am headed over there right now. Lets hope he is there, I wonder what "I am working tomorrow night" means in Starbucks time? Well I only have 45 mins so I have to go now or this is all going to waste.

I will make sure I keep you all updated on "How Sarah met and conquered the coffee guy" B/C we all know it is going that way anyway, right :) Need a boost of self confidence here!

Sarah

[snowgirl]

I am up at 300am sometimes when you are Sarah we are all awaiting the Starbucks Romance. Do you know part time employees at Starbucks get full time benefits oh yes heard it from Suze Orman on Oprah. Vicky Good Luck

[dg2901]

This is more exciting than an International Delights commercial!
Tell him you like your men like you like your coffee---hot, dark and rich with a little bit of sugar! :D

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Okay well the hot guy thing came to a little stand still last night b/c he wasn't in there when I went in! I was so mad, after all that fixing up.

BUT his co-worker told me that he said I was "totally hot" and I was funny and sweet. So now I have to figure out when he works next and go in there again. This time I am going to have to buck up and give him my phone number or email or something. I think he is more shy than me and I am not going to wait 6 weeks before he even asks me out! I want to hang out with him now, he is so cute and nice.

Oh well, I had to let you know the next episode in Sarah and the Coffee guy. Keep any suggestions, advice coming!! You know i need it!

Sarah

[traceann]

WOO HOO to the "totally hot" girl!! Talk about a GREAT ego boost!!! ;) And don't forget - the chase is half the fun!!! ;)

[leelee88]

You said it Tracey! I think playing cat and mouse is the funnest part!!

Sarah I am SURE his co-worker will spill it to him that you were in there last night!..lol You go girl!

[SharonA]

Not only will the co worker tell him you were there but that you looked good, too.

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Your right sisters. I am going to go over there after work today b/c I have a cute oultfit on and I am going to see when he works next. Maybe I will get lucky and HE will be there. I tried again this AM and he wasnt there :(

Tracey- You are right too, the chase IS half the fun!

Sarah

[petrie86]

Ya just gotta be smoothe about the whole thing, you dont want him finding out from co-workers that your stalking him and going in starbucks twice a day. Well i guess you could just be a coffee addict. lol Are you close with someone else who works there that can give find out when exactly he works so you can just go in at those specific times?
its all about the games, i miss it. Luring men in is the best part! If ya know how to work it... piece of cake!

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Okay ladies so I went in there on my lunch and guess who was there? I was looking all cute and everything and hung around making conversation.

Oh and BTW- My mom and I go in to that Starbucks like 2 times a day and have for years so this is nothing new, me going in all the time.

So we both love books and he was telling me about a good book he is reading and I asked for the author. He said well I am working tomorrow morning, come in and I will bring the book for you. So I said okay.


THEN he was saying he loves to go to dive bars and talk about religion and politics, my 2 all time favorite subjects, and just hang out. So I said oh when do you do that, next time let me know. Then he jumped on that right away and said I am going this Sat, do you want to come? I said yes but warned him I dont drink and he said that was cool, he barely did either!!

So we will see what happens. He is so cute I was like drooling all over myself!

Sarah

[justice4j]

Sarah,

You're doing fine! Just show up at Starbucks when he's there. You might comment on how wonderful/sweet it is that he shaved his beard.

You know, I have been in a relationship (a GREAT ONE) for 2 years. My BF lives with me and get this ----- is 25 years younger. We have such fun being silly talking in accents. I'm blonde and do a pretty great rendition of Abu's wife. I've launched into that at parties a few times and people laugh hysterically. I think it really sounds/looks funny coming from someone who obviously couldn't possibly be from India. I don't have any prejudice toward Indians, I just love doing accents and hope to someday take a class for voice overs. I would love that.

He had been a mutual friend of another musician friend. He practically had to hit me over the head to make me realize that he was interested. I don't look my age, I'm told. He is just about the sweetest thing ever and we adore each other. He understands about IC and IBS. We have this code for IBS attacks --- I just tell him I have to go to the "SERIOUS BATHROOM" and he knows to find the nearest restroom or get home fast.

Sometimes I don't think we women give men enough credit for how caring they can be. If he is a good man, then I think he feels a little like a hero when showing compassion. I honestly think it is a biological thing. One of the most surprising things about Brian is how much he just takes my 7 Chronic Dwarfs in stride.

Men are simply wonderful when they are good guys. The moral of this long post is, you just never know when someone great will be dropped as a little gift into your life. Go for it!

[traceann]

:dance::dance::dance::dance: YAY!! Here I am doing the happy dance for you! OMG, I can't wait til Saturday!! What ever am I going to wear?? hee hee hee!!! You can bet there will be quite a few of us ladies on her Sunday morning waiting for the play by play! :woohoo:

Sounds like it worked out perfectly too, went very well indeed!!! YAHOO!:woohoo:

P.S. Janet - my hubby and I do the same things, just love to come up with accents, we used to do that all the time together, lol. Sometimes we'd be so used to doing it, we'd accidentally do it out and about, lmao!! Reminds me of the scene in "When Harry Met Sally" and they decide on the "accent" of the day, lol!!! ;)

[leelee88]

:dance::dance:You Go Girl!

[Tricia H]

Wow... I just read that entire thread, and am totally hooked now... Who needs soap operas anymore when we have real life right here?!?! I give you props girl. I'm 23 and single as well, but pretty much scared as hell to even approach a good looking guy. So for the time being, I'm just going to live vicariously through your posts.

Good Luck on your date... I'm sure it will be amazing:woohoo:

[justice4j]

Go Sarah ! It's betta than ya buthday! Ya Go Sarah from your Sistahs!

[amaranthe]

I'm reading this thread, living vicariously too! LOL! You go girl! Have fun for all us old married women!

Oh! I almost forgot... back in the day, when I was single and met a guy I was interested in that worked someplace like that, and we'd been flirting but he hadnt asked for my number yet, I would always write a check, (since my name and number were on there!) It never failed either! I ALWAYS got the call!

Oh, and if I wanted a guy to know I was single, and didnt know how to work it in to conversation, when I was at the register one day, (after I made sure I was dressed to kill!), I would turn the ringer off on my cell phone, and "talk to my friend", telling her, "I cant BELIEVE that guy you fixed me up with last nite! He was so full of himself! I am never letting you fix me up again! No more blind dates for me!" Then, I would get off the phone, and say to the hot guy, "Sorry about that! You know how it is when you are 25 and still single! Everyone's always fixing you up with the only other person know that still single! There's got to be an easier way to meet people! But, I am sure YOU never have that problem! LOL!" Worked like a charm every time! :)

Oh well, enough of my stroll down "memories of flirting lane!"

Cant wait to read the next installment!!!

Amaranthe

[lisabar36]

:woohoo::dance: Please let us know how it goes.

[petrie86]

GO SARAH GO SARAH WHOOO HOOO. I'm so happy for you! Is it saturday yet? I think everyone here is living vicariously through you. Aren't you loving it? lol Wishing you the best of luck... knock um dead!

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Thanks ladies I am SOOOO excited!! I was straight up blunt and asked if he had a girlfriend! I guess no beating around the bush for me! He has the cutest smile and is too adorable.

So I went in there this AM with my mom, like I always do but this time I drove so I could stay if he was there and we ended up talking. MY mom said his face lit up when I walked in.

Well he and I had talked about this book the other day and he brought the book in, hoping he would see me! It was so cute. So I sat at one of the tables and looked through the book, mainly reading what HE had highlighted in there so I could get a kind of outlook on him. THen he acted like he was cleaning off the table next to me and said something to me and we chatted a little.

Then I noticed my purse was sitting on the only empty chair at my table so imoved it to the ground. Well he walked in the back and Iheard him say he was taking his break. He practically ran out there and sat down in the empty seat! It was so funny.

The cool part was that the conversation was so natural. No embarrassment, I didn't feel like I was nervous and wracking my brain for something to say. I hope he was comfortable too.

Now ladies on to the MOST important question; what do i wear tomorrow night? He is taking me to dinner then we are going to a "dive bar" which I guess is like a small CHeers type place! Should I wear a skirt or some killer jeans or black pants with a sexy top and toussled curly hair? That was kinda the look I was leaning towards but I would usually wear a skirt. Are jeans not dressy enough? Please help a lady out!

you guys rock. You helped give me the confidence to pursue the whole thing. '
Sarah

[lisabar36]

I think any of the outfits you mentioned would be nice. lol Thats so exciting!!!!!!! See me, I would be a nervous wreck, lol, I am so shy. I remember my boyfriend taking me to a really nice fancy place for dinner when we first met, and I sat there and didn't know what to say. lol Once I got to know him my shyness wore off, I am not shy at all with him now. He was shy to so we had alot in common. lol GOOD LUCK!!!!!!!!!!! I can't wait to hear how it goes.

[leelee88]

Sarah If it is just a casual date then you never can go wrong with killer jeans!! And maybe a really cute top! I hope you have a blast!! You SO deaerve this....

[snowgirl]

killer jeans and a nice top. No skirt then he may feel under dressed. Have fun.
Full report in am we will be waiting. Vicky

[mary124]

I'm so excited!! haven't been out on a date in ages (of course I better not or my husband might get upset with me!!) Haven't had so much fun in years. Good luck - let us know what happens. oh- nice jeans and shirt will do just fine.

[kuntrygurl78]

I just saw this thread. Sarah! It sounds like you are going to have a great time tomorrow. I would go with the killer jeans and top. Let us know how it goes.:woohoo:

[ABliske]

nice going! If you're going to a dive, I'd say jeans! have fun!!