Saying Goodbye to this Bladder

[Kara]

I have worked very hard to get someone to save me from this End Stage, Refractory, Interstitial Cystitis. While I am only about 1% of the IC population, I still exist and have feelings that I would like to share. Not many people will ever have to go through something as traumatic as this. I am brave and strong and I am not wavering. There are others out there like me that may be too afraid to talk about this. It's a subject that many people want to avoid because of it's seriousness but it needs to be discussed someplace and I can not find any other place to do it.

I had a conversation with my bladder last week.
It goes like this:


"Bladder, tell me how you are feeling right now?"

"I am in so much pain but all of the pain meds and others you have tried to give me have only made me feel worse. Six surgeries have not saved me from this torture. I'm too sick for you to keep using me like this."

"Bladder, How can I comfort you through this difficult time?"

"Please keep that foley catheter inside of my mouth. It takes the pain and sorrow away while you are waiting to replace me."

"Bladder, Can you tell me what color you are feeling right now?"

"I am as red as the hot coals used in the fire."

"Bladder, what makes this feel better?"

"When you are not using me to store your waste and toxins."

"Bladder, Is there anything else you want to tell me before I let you go?"

"I've tried so very hard to work for you but I am too disabled to continue any further. It's time for me to go. I don't want any more of your 58 medications......No more surgeries........Please let me lie in peace. I still love you but I am no longer able to help you out with your daily functions. I will be with you in spirit. I'm sorry it did not work out between us."

"Bladder, I will grant your wish and so will my incredible surgeon. Your suffering will end Friday at 7:00 am. I love you too but I know this is what you want. Goodbye."


Kara

[faycarole]

Kara, My prayers will be with you. I am considering surgery also so will be very interested in your progress. All the best, Carole Williams

[Kristy]

{{{{Kara********
Praying for you. Wishing you the best. Keep in touch. I know you are having a very difficult time. Thinking of you.

Kristy

[karhopp]

Kara, I will also be thinking about you on Friday. I understand your conversation with your bladder very well. There is a time to let go. My thoughts, prayers and best wishes are with you. Love, Karla

[songbird7]

Kara, That is a very moving thing that you shared with us about your talk with your bladder. I am honored to read it. Prayers go out with this post for the very best for you.
Gentle hugs,
Songbird

[Mal]

Kara,

I hope all goes well for you on Friday. My thoughts and prayers are with you. Take care!

Mal

[JOJO]

Dear Kara
You post actually brought me to tears. If you are at peace with this,than its right for you. You are very brave. My prayers are with you. I truly wish you the best. God Bless-JoJo

[autumn2]

All my hugs and prayers are with you. TAKE CARE!!!

[Kathi]

(((((((((Kara))))))))) I will be thinking & praying for you. Don't forget to have hubby post on how you are doing. Love, Kathi smile.gif

[Mackie]

Kara,

I was thinking about you the whole time the board was down. I pray everything went well. Let us know as soon as you can how you're doing....You're in our thoughts...

Mackie

[mary a]

KARA!, I WILL BE PRAYING FOR YOU!!!!!, EVERYTHING WILL BE FINE!, YOU WILL FEEL GREAT AFTER THIS SURGERY!

[Diana]

Kara,While I am new to this board,and have not been able to be there for you,I thankyou for sharing your story,thoughts and feelings.I will think all the good thoughts possible regarding your surgery and send them to you,but I know just from your post, that you are a very strong woman indeed and will do great.My Father in-law had that surgery done last Thanksgiving do to Bladdercancer,age 76 yrs,and he is doing great,one would never know that he had a surgery.Warm wishes,and good thoughts to you, stay strong, Diana

[Baylee444]

Dear Kara.

[vm]

Good luck Kara and good for you following your gut on this!!!

[Mrs.H]

Kara...I am new to all this but not to the pain...I understand your desicions and the talk you had...it was a very emotional thing to read...I guess because we all know that what lay ahead could be the same talk...or some have already had that talk...I wish you the best and I hope things are much better after this... frown.gif

[Teri]

Mrs H~please remember that most of us do not loose our bladders.....one of the girls who doesn't post anymore actually had the sacral nerve that goes from the bladder to the brain cut to rid herself of the pain and it worked biggrin.gif she was able to keep her bladder and return to work....

tons of hugs to all~

[ICNDonna]

Teri is right. Very, very few people with IC end up having their bladders removed. In my own case, I used to worry that this might eventually be the only alternative for me --- I was soooo wrong. My IC has not worsened since my diagnosis in 1975. In fact, if anything, I do much better because I have learned how to deal with IC.

Sending warm thoughts,
Donna

[Kim G]

Kara,
I went to my doctor today and he is still suggesting surgery for me. I'm in the same 1% of IC patients that you are. My bladder is totally scarred. I think I'm just as frightened as you were. I have been putting off the surgery for a couple of years. Anything you can tell me will help with the difficult decision. Thanks and I hope your recovery is quick. Kim

[Q]

Kara

If ever the time comes for me to go through the incredible pain and trauma you must be experiencing right now I only hope I can approach it with the same grace and courage you show. Thank you for giving me a new way to look at the consequences of this condition, and good luck with your surgery. My thoughts will be with you.

[Trishann]

Kara, My thoughts and prayers are with you. I can't even imagine what you have been through, and what you are going through now, but I pray, as the body is healing, you will soon be able to do the things you want to do. You waited so long for this and I hope your dreams come true.

Trishann

[SharonA]

This post moved me to tears 4 years ago. It did so today.

Kara...I am praying for you and hoping you are healing from your recent surgery. :kissing: