Concerned for my Son

[MotherOcean07]

My son has recently been diagnosed with IC as well as bi-polar disorder and is only 22 years old. He is severely depressed and feels as if he is worthless and his life is not worthwhile. Does anyone have any suggestions to offer me for helping him through this? I have tried counselors for him, but he won't carry through with continuing to see her. He is currently taking xanax, lexapro, emirol, urell, atenelol for high BP and lamitcal for seizures. All of this within the past 12 months. I would really love to know how I can help him get through this and what step we need to take next.

A very concerned mom.

[mbe]

I am not sure how helpful I will be but here is a few suggestions.

I am sorry to hear that your son is having a difficult time.
Remind him hard times come and go and he will find his way through this. He needs to find something that will help him deal with the anxiety/depression he is feeling like working out (lightly) at the gym or some sort of activity he loves that will build up confidence. Find his interests, start new interest, things along those lines.

Not sure what options men have for IC but I would assume their must be some procedure/medication they could come up with to give him relief depending on how severe his IC is. Bi-Polar is very common..in fact I have an anxiety disorder that has been linked to IC patients.

Also, remember that as much as we want to help him it will be up to him to want to look for the positives in life..we all have to find them for our selves
and eventually we do!:)

[MotherOcean07]

Hi!
Thank you so much for your quick response! I honestly wonder how long my son has suffered with this IC disease before being diagnosed correctly. Last February he was taken in for emergency because the doctors suspect that there was a blockage in his intestines. A large incision was made to find absolutely nothing and so started the whole process of even more pain. I am worried about his depression along with his pain. Even though he is seeing a doctor for the depression he is also adding alcohol to help "numb" the pain. But again, I am still searching for answers and I thank you for your comfort and guidance tonight.

Kind regards!

[leelee88]

My heart goes out to you!!
I wish there was truly something I could say to help. I just think you need to keep encouraging him to see his counselor. IC is hard enough to deal with. And if he suffers from Bi-polar disorder this has to be super to tough. Please know that my thoughts are with you and let him know he is not alone, there are so many people just like him going through this..

[Sally939]

I feel for you and your son. I just wanted to add that drinking could actually cause him more bladder pain. I am sure this is a very hard time for both of you. I know that being dxed with IC can be very depressing on its own. It truely does get easier.

[mbe]

I agree the drinking will make it a lot worst for him. Out of curosity what are his symptoms...maybe I could be a little more help if I knew what some of his symptoms are..I am not a doctor but I have been doing a lot the research lately so maybe I can help between GI and Urologist. :confused:

I hope I have been helpful..much luck!

Melissa

[MotherOcean07]

Melissa,

He feels so worthless for one thing, that he is 22 and most of his friends are graduating from college and are beginning their lives as adults and he is still tied to his mom's aprons strings. Some days he can't get out of bed because of the pain, both physical within his stomach as well as emotional. His sleep schedule is all messed up, he is up all night and sleeps all day. He has no energy, no drive, no motivation. He has also suffered seizures which cost him his driving privileges for 6 months.

Again, I thank everyone for your concern, your thoughts and prayers and especially your quick responses. It's 1:26 here in N. Carolina and I can't sleep for worrying about my son and not knowing the next step to take with him.

Debbie

[Sally939]

What IC meds is he on and how long has he been on them? If he is stuck in bed because of IC pain that needs to be corrected. I too at first spent the first three months or so in bed as often as I could be in bed. Once my meds started working I was able to start moving foward. The first six months with IC were hard. I thought I would have to learn to live with the pain. I thought this was going to be my life and it was very different than I had planned. All of that was NOT true. I do have bad days but, with my dailly meds and my rescue meds I often feel pretty good. Make sure he know this is just a hard time it will get better. This site was a HUGE benifit to me. Outside of the info I got here, alot of what I learned in the beginning was all gloom and doom and that is just not true.

As for his friends starting their lives. The next few years will be hard on them too. If he really looks around he will find many peers still struggeling to "start their lives". I am 30 and did graduate on time but, I know others at 30 that just now graduated or what not. I hope that soon you will both look back and agree that this past year was hard but that the future looks bright.

I personally can not relate to the bipolor dx but, have atleast two friends that currently take meds for it. I think getting the right meds for him can be a bit of trial and error. In time he will find the right treatment for both his IC and bipolor.

[Sally939]

I forgot one thing. Please look into the ic diet. The diet is a huge tool for treating my IC. Not everyone is diet sensative. I personally feel as if the diet needs a good four months before deciding it does not help. Before my meds kicked in the diet help keep my pain down. Now that my meds work and keep my pain under controll a personal diet trigger will flare me (cause pain) regardless of all the meds. When I try something and it flares me I start my rescure meds and can make myself comfertable.

[ICNDonna]

I'm so sorry your son is having such a tough time. I wonder if he would relate any better to counseling if he were to see a counselor who is a man? I know sometimes it's easier for me to relate to a woman; by the same token, he might feel better working with a man.

If he's drinking alcoholic beverages with his meds, his doctor needs to know. The combination can be deadly.

You've already received some good suggestions; I'd like to add another and that is for you to see a counselor for some guidance in ways you can best help your son.

And please let us know how you are both doing.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[sickofmybladder]

My 20 yr old daughter is Bipolar II - she was diagnosed at 18 yrs old - she also has I.C. -- (Ironically I also live in NC - jeez we should get together for coffee and compare notes).
I know how difficult this is - does your son still live at home with you? My daughter is unable to work or go to school full-time at the moment and lives at home - and yes it is very difficult - and the worrying - oh I do understand - my daughter was dx after a failed suicide attempt at 18 - I actually saw a counselor for awhile afterwards to just help me figure out how to cope and not have all of my thoughts completely absorbed by my fears for her. Self-medicating is very common as is refusal to take meds (especially with bipolar disorder) - I can't tell you why but it is the absolute truth - I have been told by many professionals. I will be praying for you and your son - please PM me anytime.
((((Hugs)))))

[ngazerro]

Hi,

Having IC yourself is hard enough, but knowing one of your children are suffering for it is heartbreaking. My thougts & prayers are with you. Maybe meeting other parents whom are going though the samething can help. :pray: