How do you cope?

[mlzippy7]

How do you cope when everything you worked for is gone?
How do you try to stay positive when doctor after doctor tell you that you are a very complicated case and they have nothing more to offer you?
How do you cope when everything you dreamed for is taken from you?
How do you cope when the money is all gone?
How do you cope when they say there is no cure?
Just how do you cope?

I have tried 2 therapists and neither were able to help me. I felt worse after dealing with them. They just reminded me of all the things I have lost.
I would gladly see one if they really understood my chronic conditions.

Thanks for any ideas you may have on coping!

[lisabar36]

Hi, I am so sorry your feeling like this, I think alot of us have had these feelings. But you can't give up. You will find a good doctor, it takes time and I know its frustrating and it takes time to find the right treatment that will work for you but please don't give up. There is no cure, but there are treatments to make you feel better. It may take you time to find an understanding good therapist as well. I think positive that I have now found a doctor that wants to help me, that is agressive with treatment and as I find treatments that work for me the better I feel but it took me a long time to find this doctor. I kept searching and searching. I am really sorry you feel this way, I know it can be very frustrating. Hang in there. :pray: Lisa

[Claredale]

Lisa said what I would say. It takes time, but it gets better! Just be a great advocate for yourself and you will see things start to change.

T83

[gopher7895]

Back in high school when my best friend and I were having a crisis (over nothing actually) her dad would always say "this too shall pass". I thought it was incredibly corny then but I find I say it to myself at the times I have trouble coping. I guess as bad as my day may be, I push myself to be hopeful that tomorrow will be better. I saw a therapist for a while and she helped me make peace with my health problems and not expect so much out of myself. Having a disease without a cure sure isn't what I expected out of life so I understand what you're saying. I hope you're able to find a doctor who will stick by your side and find a treatment plan to make you feel better. Best of luck...Sue

[leelee88]

How Do You Cope?
Boy I have asked that question to myself SO many times over and over...

For one my Faith..

But there are times I have even questioned that, but I really try to think of the possitives in my life. Even if it's small things to start with.

You also have to remember things can get better with this disease. There are thousands and thousands of people with IC.. And so many are living normal lives. We here are just a very small majority of people. I for one am doeing SO much better than I was a year and 1/2 ago when I was first Dx. And I was told by my URO I was one of the worse cases he has ever seen.

But I have fought my way to where I am. If one Dr would not give me the answers I was looking for I would go get a second opinion and until I got what I was looking for. And to be honest I am still searching for the right URO. My GYN in treating me right now. Because the UROs I have seen just do not answer my questions or treat me the way I know I deserve to be treated. So I think Tracey said it best when she said you HAVE to be your own advocate.

I sure hope things start looking up for you.. If you need anything please PM me..((((hugs)))))

[donnadb40]

I am actually asking this same question and my answer is that I'm actually NOT coping very well. I've been in a massive flare since NOVEMBER!!!!! I just cannot get any pain relief this time around and am actually feeling EXACTLY the same way that you do!!! Life, in general, has gone "to hell in a hand basket" as they say! I know the despair that you are feeling, as I'm sure many of us here do. All I can tell you is to do what I do and take it one day at a time! I have a son that will graduate this summer. He is truly my pride and joy!!! I just keep thinking about him and what a wonderful life he has to look forward to and this seems to push me through to the next day and the next and the next!!! Try to focus on something, ANYTHING, that you can find as a positive factor in your life and use it to get you through to the next day!! My thoughts and prayers are with you!!

[ICNDonna]

It sounds like you could be suffering from depression along with everything else. You might ask your doctor for an antidepressant to help you get through this.

Warm healing thoughts,
Donna

[tigger_gal]

these may not be your answers but they are ones for me!! :grouphug:

How do you cope when everything you worked for is gone?
When everything you worked for is gone, pick up the pieces and move forward. I lost my home, and now I have to rent.. The out come I have a bigger home, the rent is cheaper then my mortgage loan, and the house is 400 sq feet bigger.

How do you try to stay positive when doctor after doctor tell you that you are a very complicated case and they have nothing more to offer you?
thats a tough on, because many of us deal with that all the time, Do you have other conditions other then IC?

How do you cope when everything you dreamed for is taken from you?
your dreams can never be taken from you, work on fixing you and then move forward to acomplish what you want to do

How do you cope when the money is all gone?
go and apply for assistance thru the state.

How do you cope when they say there is no cure?
no there is no cure, but you have IC, do not let IC have you.

Just how do you cope?
I take xanax and I have a a very hyper toddler and an infant. I push myself every day to keep going. I keep going because I have a family that loves me more then their own lives, and I have the greatest friends, those friends are all in this box, and the place is called the icn.


Keep on going, you can and you will get thru all of this.

[traceann]

I was thinking the same thing Donna said, and I also thought that sometimes a short-term stint can work wonders. I know it did for my mom - she was very upset when I moved out when I got married the first time. After running every imaginable test on her, they decided it was depression, put her on an antidepressant med for about 3 months (or however long it would take) along with therapy. It did the trick - got her through the rough patch, and she was able to discontinue the medication.

I was also thinking on the therapist thing, have you tried one that deals mostly with people with chronic illnesses? That sort might be helpful to you, since you seem pretty open to therapy - maybe you just had the wrong therapists for you! ;)

[mlzippy7]

Thanks all for the replies!! I appreciate it.
I know we all have to cope somehow with this.
Maybe it is just the yucky cold, gray, snowy weather we have here.
I do have several medical issues all acting up at once.
Somehow I guess I will work through it.

My primary doctor did try several anti-depressants but my stomach is so sensitive that I would vomit from them. We tried the liquid ones and everything. No luck!

Thanks for listening and I know I just need to go day by day and not look so far down the road.

[traceann]

I totally hear you on the snowy gray weather!! YUCK!! I am in Northern MI and can't remember when I saw the sun last....*sigh* I too had trouble with some antidepressant meds, turned out the best one for me is the Wellbutrin SR - no side effects which is unbelievable for me, lol! ;)

[Tracie]

Everyone copes in different and similar ways. I open the Bible to Psalms and read some out loud. Sometimes I am sobbing when I do this! But somehow I feel better after.

In my Yoga class we created Vision Boards. (some people call them Prosperity Maps) Get a big piece of paper and cut out things from magazines and paste them on it. And hang it somewhere will you will see it.I pasted places I want to visit on there and inspirational words and sayings. I also put a picture of money on it! If you believe it enough, things are suppose to happen. I just started doing this and I have hope in it. It also takes my mind off of my pain.

[Cricketmk3]

Just when I'm feeling sorry for myself, the commercial for St Jude's Hospital comes on and I see the precious sick children with cancer. It puts my problem in perspective and it also makes me appreciate the health of my children.