Meanagers!!alias Teenagers!

[mac]

Having a hard time with an 18 year old and just turned 17 year old! Girls....turned selfish and mean! I have two grown children 23 and 20, boy and girl. My husband said that they were also like this but I don't remember it being so bad. I just weaned of antidepressants and it's hitting me like a ton of bricks! I am soooooo depressed, frustrated, angry and disappointed. They want to come and go as they please, don't help out at all... think they are put out if asked to put away their own things etc. Just can't cope right now.
Anyone listening... please pray for my peace of mind and heart!!!
Down and dropping.....

[ICNJess]

I'm sorry you're having such a rough time. Kids can be hard to deal with when you aren't feeling well. I have a hard time with my terrible two's toddler when I'm feeling down and hurting. Huuuuuuugs!

[leelee88]

OH I can Relate!!! Teenagers have a mind of there own.. I wish I had some helpful advice. But I am am still praying mine will get through his meanager years to. The good news is he is getting alot better.. The bad news is I got 3 more to go..((((hugs))) To you.. Good Luck!

[dg2901]

I can somewhat relate--I've got a son who's pushing 18 and man has he given us a fit the last year and a half; he's now starting to show signs of improvement, thank goodness!

Hopefully your kids will come around soon.
Stay tough!
Diana

[VickiB]

I sometimes wonder if that isn't natures way of helping to get them out on their own. Like, when they're old enough to move out, you're more than ready for them to go!

My daughter is now 26, with a baby of her own. We get along great, like good friends, but, Man, those later teenage years! I wouldn't go back there for anything! That quote, "Now I know why some animals eat their young" comes to mind!

All I can say is I feel for you. Hang in there!

Vicki

[Claredale]

Vicki is right, some teens are worse than others when it comes to driving us nuts. Even my level headed husband was at his wits end at times when it came to me and my younger son. My older son is married now and honestly was a spoiled brat but in a good way (mainly because he was the kid that every parent thought was perfect, but I knew the truthand dealt with him and his moods, but I used to tell myself, as long as he was good out in the world, why should I complain!, . He was independant, but respectful to my rules the majority of hte time which was a good thing. I would ask him to do things when he was just at that age to leave for college and it was always "fine". You know the tone! My younger son and I are two of a kind. I always say he looks like my husband, but acts like me. He was my dad's promise to me that I would have one just like me and he was right! We like to have the last word, and beliee me, he has some great arguments. It's tough dealing with a very intelligent smart butt of a kid, but, he is now in his 3rd year of college and is away (Thank the Lord!), so when he is home we have our "honeymoon" period and by the time he gets on my last nerve it's time for him to go back to school. I remember my hubby and I going to classes when they were early teens (back when they were really great kids) and was told about those last couple of years before they leave. It's kind of God's way of making you ready for them to leave the nest. God definitely made me good and ready for Ty to leave! Now when I look back at those teen age years, they don't seem as bad as I remembered. Just like those years of dealing with young colicky babies has been wiped away as well. I know remember how cute they were and all the funny things they used to do.

I remember being a brat when I hit 13. I was really a good kid just the typical mouthy teen. I can remember my mom even locking herself in her room one iime just to ge me to leave her alone. I wanted some dress and wanted it now type thing. Now to hear her talk to her friends, I was always such a good kid and easy to raise. I remember a totally different time during my teenage years, but if that's how she wants to remember it, that's okay with me. Hopefully God will give me the same memory as her someday regarding my sons...especially that sweet cute blonde headed boy that was such a "mama's boy" for so many years.

I hope things get better for you. It's tough I know, especially when you aren't feeling well, dealing with pain on a daily basis and just plain worn out!

Hugs and prayers!

Tracey

[mac]

Thank you to everyone that responded. You all really helped me tonight to know that I am not alone and reminding me that this to shall pass! Hopefully soon!!!

[dancemomof2]

I feel your pain, here is a link to my story about my ungrateful 15 year old who isn't far from your children trust me.

http://www.ic-network.com/forum/showthread.php?t=41584&highlight=sale

[tigger_gal]

teens really have their mine set that they are adults, and it isn't fair that they can't walk over you and have a curfew.
I told mine (now she don't live with me, when she comes home shes good at wants to do what she wants) I said out of respect for me I should know when she will be home, and she will be in no later then the set time.. she gets ticked, and says I'm not a kid any more.. lol yea she is shes my kid and I worry.

[Claredale]

My loving 2nd child told me that adults didn't expect to be told yes mam and no mam anymore. It's just not their generations nature to be polite!

T83

[tigger_gal]

:tsk: I would have knocked my daughters teeth down her throat for that comment.. I do mean it, I would slapped her right in her mouth for being so disrespectful.

[GriffsMommy]

Teenagers really are the pits sometimes. Our oldest Logan turned 18 in November and is finishing his last year of high school. When his birthday was approaching he kept on making comments about what we were going to do for his birthday and how things were going to change for him. We made it very clear to him that he is one of four children and we are very tight on money because of my illness so he would get the same treatment as the other kids. He would get to pick what he wanted for dinner and get a cake made for him and a small gift. We also made it very clear that as long as he is still in school he is not considered an adult in our house yet and still has the same rules as before.
It is hard at times and they do know how to and do like to push your buttons. My husband gets mad at us because Logan and I butt heads alot. He really likes to argue with me and sometimes gets very lippy.
If you are really having a hard time being off the antidepressants though with the crazy teenagers then maybe you need to reconsider stopping them or going on an antiexity med. My dr just put me on anti anxiety meds and I find it has really helped me to stay a little more calm about everything.

[sickofmybladder]

You are preaching to the choir - I have a 20 yr old daughter and a 17 yr old son - I don't have any problems out of my daughter - she will do anything I ask - but her and my husband butt heads like crazy - but my son? Oh there are days I could just scream - he's a good kid - but if you ask him to do anything - he reacts like I've asked him to go to the moon.
It can be very trying - especially if you are not feeling well - hang in there - :grouphug:

[lisabar36]

Sending you a hug, I am sure you need it. I have teenagers and it is tough! My 16 year old daughter thinks she knows everything. I know its hard. Hang in there. :grouphug:

[dverba]

I have 3 girls, 16 soon to be 17, 13,and 8. My oldest lives in her own bubble. I have cryed many times upset that she sees only herself in this world. She shows no sympathy towards her sisters and is totally self absorbed right now. When I try to talk to her she thinks I am the one who is being mean and controling. Sound familar? My 13 yr old is just entering the angrey phase. Angry at every thing. My 8 yr old is still that wonderful daughter who thinks mommy is the best! Looking back I remember being all these things. My mom lives with me now and it is wierd going through all the same issuses with my own girls. I'll pray for you and you pray for me, deal?
DeAnna

[Claredale]

Christine, he uses his manners with me (the majority of the time) because that was how he was raised, put I certainly wouldn't threaten to knock his teeth out, plus he is 21, not a teen anymore, but he didn't mean it disrespectfully at all, just matter of fact, he just meant that it just wasn't how his age group talked to adults anymore and when I sat back and watched his friends, his only friend that actually said yes mam to me was our youth minister's son. The rest of his friends were nice and all, but Ty was right, it's like they talk the way they text...say as few words as necessary.

He said even his supervisor at work (in his 30s I would guess) doesn't even care to hear no sir, yes sir. I still say yes mam, etc to my mom and most people that are senior to me and even people that are my age, that's just how I speak. I was never allowed to say yes, much less yeah or huh! Even his teachers don't even make a big deal about it. Some of his teachers at MTSU even tell the kids to call them by their first names. I remember when I was growing up everyone was Mrs. (whatever their last name was) and when my kids grew up they were Miss Kathy, etc. I guess things are just changing. Now I still expect to hear no mam and yes man from my sons even though they are grown, but mainly because it's just polite, not a requirement. That is what started the conversation to begin with. My sons grew up saying it, but I have noticed even when I am out shopping that my kids generation just aren't as polite. When I worked in retail at that age, it was a requirement to say thank you and come again, etc. Now they don't even look at you just hand you the money and wait for the next customer. Even at nicer places. I have even tried to prompt them and say "thank you" and they will just say you're welcome. That just flew over their heads.

I realized while Ty was at home over Christmas and we were watching some of the sitcoms, there just wasn't the same manners from the younger generation. Like I said in my earlier post, my son is extremely smart (always tested in the top 1 percent in the state tests throughout 1st grade until he graduated, and analyzes every single thing to death. We call him Mr. Wikapedia since he basically looks everything and makes sure we know what he learned. We just wish he would use it with his classes and not just to satisfy his curiosity!

[mac]

Dear Leslie,
I just read your thread on teenage daughter for sale! Your sense of humor is priceless and made me smile! Between those lines are tears, frustrations, and alot of ambivalence I am sure. Thank you for sharing your experience of this wonderful right of passage years with me. To me they are like the terrible two's only in gigantic proportions!
Have a good night!
Mac

[dancemomof2]

Mac you are so right, I was so full of alot that say with her ungrateful you owe me the world and I owe you nothing attitude that I had to write that and make the sitution funny before I did cry. I still feel that way most days as she is the most conceited self center teenager I have ever met. I have no idea where she got it either because none of us are like that. Hang in there just wanted you to know I have your children living in my house LOL.

[kadi]

Yeah, I hear you. Today a student I've gone out of my way to help wrote me a very snotty letter advising me to "please remember that your moods affect how our day starts out." Amazing how much my mood would have improved without seven or eight students routinely sauntering in anywhere from 5-15 minutes late each morning & interrupting the lesson for everyone. My mood also would have been a lot more chipper without her and several other students rolling their eyes & speaking to me in condescending tones. The only comfort I have on this is that someday they will probably have children who will be just as rude to them...
(Oh, & I can't tell my mom about any of this. I think she considers it divine retribution for some of my comments as a teen.)

[IC SARAH-CPP]

Reading this thread from the point of view, kind of, of the parents but really being closer to the age and experience of the kids is interesting!
I have to say I agree with Tracey's sons comments about the M'am and Sir. I really dont care to say M'am and Sir and i dont think it is disrespectful at all. I treat everyone with respect and just saying Sir or M'am isnt always being respectful. I have seen snotty, rude people use those terms and think they are being respectful because they said Sir but they are really being an ass.
If it makes any of you feel any better, I feel badly every single day for what i put my mom through as a teenager and I wasn't even a "bad kid"! I was on the honor roll, had a job and played sports but I was still a little brat, lol.
But my mom does what all of you here were saying, she only remembers the sweet loving me! She is always saying, "Oh I wish I hadn't yelled at you!" I have to laugh when she says that, I tell her "yeah I wish you had slapped me!"
Sarah

[ICNDonna]

There are some advantages to being a senior citizen! However, I remember clearly when my kids were in their teens. One thing I learned early on is that I needed to choose my battles carefully, which meant a clean room was way down low on the scale. But each of them knew that curfew was curfew and I needed to either have them in the house on time or hear from them by a specific time. Strangely, this didn't happen often.

When my oldest didn't want to get out of bed to go to school, I let him be late --- and it only happened once!

My oldest, who has been away from home for more years than I like to think about, and who is married --- lives about 150 miles from here --- and when they visit, they telephone when they get home. I didn't ask him to, but he still remembers that I like to know they are safe.

Warm hugs to all you mothers --- and remember that the raging hormones do settle down and those little demons turn back into human beings!

Donna

[dancemomof2]

Sarah I love it that you posted to this and respect your mom now. That is so great. My daughter is an honor roll student, teachers dance class 4 nights a week, stays out of trouble she just totally think she is above the world. LMAO, I told her just the other day that I was about to pull land from underneath her to watch her sink to reality.

She cracked me up last night, she wanted a tatto for christmas and ask so I signed for it 3 tiny heart on her tummy, well it need more ink do we went the other night and had it colored in more before the cruise. She didn't want to wear jean to rub it today to school. She wanted to wear a pair of Victoria Secret PINK sweats, but the sweater boots she wanted to wear with them were at grams house. I told her to wear tennis shoe. I got ewwwww MOM NO ONE wears that. You wear flip flops or those boots. EXCUSE ME!!!! last time I checked it was politically correct to wear tennis shoes with sweats. :help:

[Bessie]

Leslie,
I love your saying about pulling the land out from under your daughter so that she will sink into reality :lmao::lmao::lmao:
You have such a great sense of humor :)
I also wanted to let you know that when your children get older, move out, and have to start paying their own way their attitude does a complete turn around.....so there is hope :hi: They actually visit and act like they love you!! Hang in there :)

[dancemomof2]

Thanks Bessie..... I think Mom's should get free spa weekends 4 times a year during the teen years:smile tee

[lisabar36]

Leslie I also love your saying. I was laughing at the sweat thing and the tennis shoes. :lmao: Your post was so funny. Reminds me of my daughter. I am not sure how old your daughter is, mine is 16. She peirced her own lip a year ago, that was a sight! Now she is over that phase so it has closed. She did the tatoo thing when she was with her dad, except we didn't have to sign cause she had it done privately, :( I was very upset because how do I know it was a clean technique. She went to a friends and another friend did tatoos so he said sure I will do whatever you want. So oh she even got 2. She had to have one colored in so I said, I am taking you! You are not letting anyone do it privately. :shake: Then she wanted me to sign for her belly to be pierced. I said NO, when you are 18 you can have all the piercings you want but I am not signing for that. :help: Thats what I feel like I need sometimes. lol But she is a good girl, has great grades. :)

[Claredale]

When my older son was close to turning 13...he 24 now. I requested for information for boarding schools and military schools to be mailed to me. My son always checked the mail when he got home from school. I had him really concerned there for a little while!

I promise, these days will go by fast and you will like each other again! Sometimes sooner than later, but like Donna said...pick your battles. I learned that the hard way with my younger son when he was a teen ager, but even though we have a "minor" confrontation, we actually listen to each other. We still don't agree alot of the time, but we agree to disagree....but he is learning that I can be right, and maybe just maybe I may know about things! My older son really was easy...see he is 24, married, pays his own bills. God is already bringing the wonderful memories I treasured to the top and the time he was in middle school and a little brat is falling from my memory. More and more each day!

T83

[dancemomof2]

Lisa she is 15 going on 30 ohhhh wait lmao wrong movie....