Anxiety started it and now I'm down for the count

[gigisgirl]

What a week, I don't want to be someoone that gets on here and whines about my life but this week I really need to.

It started last week at work when my wonderful, caring manager lol sent out a memo stating that you have to go to the bathroom either before or after your phone time during the day. Now this would not be a big problem for most people and everyone in the office just laughed about it and blew it off. It to me got my horrible anxiety going and it hasn't stopped.

I worked myself to hard over the holidays. There were days where out 15 people in the office there were only 3 of us there. I worked Xmas eve and New Years Eve. Everyone in that office has had extra, extra time off except me because I have been working for them and covering their phone times along with mine and not going to the bathroom.

Well, A couple months ago I applied for FMLA and my manager refused to sign it. I sent it to HR anyway saying my manager refuses to sign it. My manager and myself were both notified that my FMLA had been approved for 12 wks between 12/07 and 10/08. It stated that I would need to miss work a few days a month.

Ok so fast forward to this week. I went to work Monday and felt ok. I came home took my medicine and woke up in the night with my face swelling, my fingers swollen and hives all over. I called in Tuesday and said I was sick. As Tuesday went on my entire body started to ache. I called in Wednesday and said I'm still sick. Body aches, weak, no energy, my back is killing me, my bladder needs to be ripped out with a knife. I call in again today (3) days in a row. I know she's not going to be happy but seriously here girls, I can't even get my body up. I slept all day today and still don't feel better so I doubt I'm going to work tomorrow.

When you have a bad, bad flare can it affect your whole entir body?? Can your whole body hurt? Can you be weak and fatigued to the point you can't get out of bed? I feel bad for calling in this week but you know I have to take care of myself. I know I'm going to get called in and talked to. But that's why I got the FMLA duh! I'M SICK! There maybe days were I feel great and days that turn into this week. I feel like such a loser. I mean one of my coworkers lives in the other side of our duplex and she has to walk by our front door to go to her side. She hasn't even stopped to see if I was ok. I mean if somone I worked with had called in for the last 3 days and I lived next to her I'd at least check.

Then the icing on the cake, last night our furance went out. So we have a couple of space heaters and I guess I'll be sleeping upstairs on the couch with a space heater instead of the basement in my bedroom. My daughter went over to the duplex while I was in the tub and asked if their heat was on. She told them that we didn't have heat (now she knows I'm sick and that is 20ish degrees outside) she says oh our heat is fine. Great, THANKS! I just don't think anyone I work with even believes that I'm sick at all. I'm so depressed and I'm feeling so anxious about having to go back and explain to my manager why I was off for 4 days. I guess I don't have to say much if I have the FMLA right?

Sorry this is so long, I just really need to get it out.
Thanks
Jill

[dyno]

Have you talked to your Dr. yet and been checked to see what is going on? It almost sounded to me like you may have been having an allergic reaction to your medication. If you haven't talked to your Dr. that is something you probably should do.

When I have an IC flare, I can be miserable, especially if you have an infection going on with it.

As far as work goes, with you have gotten the FMLA approved, she shouldn't be able to bother you about missing work and if she does, talk to someone above her.

I hope you feel better soon, and please check in with your Dr. if you haven't yet.

[traceann]

I'm with Jolene - sounds like you had an allergic reaction - that's what happens to me when I take tetracycline or sulfa meds for example. Oh it can be awful, and it seems you always find out the hard way if you are allergic to something, :)

And you might want to think about getting checked for a UTI, I again know that for me while a flare can kick my butt and make me feel generally miserable, that a UTI can bring on really bad body aches etc.

I also agree with Jolene on the work issue - it's obvious you have health issues, you have gotten the FMLA - so take care of yourself. Shoot I'd even challenge the "bathroom break" policy ;) That's not something an ICer can to adhere to!

Sending lots of hugs and positive thoughts your way!!!!

[leelee88]

Shoot I'd even challenge the "bathroom break" policy ;) That's not something an ICer can to adhere to!



I agree with these gals, something more could be going on than just a flare. However when I flare it does bring on all over aches and pains. But I am almost certian I have fibro also. And I 100% agree on what Traceann said about the bathroom breaks!!

((((hugs))) Hope you get to feeling better soon....

[GriffsMommy]

I do get achy all over when I have a flare but I don't break out like you are describing. I agree with the others, it almost sounds like you had an allergic reaction to something. I would go see your dr or at least give them a call. As for the FMLA you don't have to tell your manager anything. When I filed for FMLA at my job my HR dept made it very clear to me that I didn't have to tell my supervisor anything. All I had to say is that I was calling out and that it was related to my FMLA, that's it. She said my supervisor didn't even have to know what the FMLA was for because it's none of her business. I have a very wonderful supervisor though so she knew what was going on with me from day one. And the pee breaks, I get that too, you must do customer service. They want us to only go to the bathroom during our personal breaks which are 10 minutes and our half and hour lunch. I mean if you get up every once in awhile to go to the bathroom they don't care but I was obviously getting up a lot more than that. I had my dr's office fax over a note that I had a condition that required me to have access to the bathroom as often as I needed it throughout the day. I handed the note right to my supervisor to put in my file. On a bad day I would literally have to go to the bathroom after each and every call that I took. Of course my boss was not thrilled when we were busy and I was away from my desk so much but she never said anything negative about it because she did understand that I couldn't help it.

[tigger_gal]

I agree the the girls too. it certianly wouldn't hurt to go to the doctors and bring in a note.. then you not need explain anything, which you shouldn't any way with FMLA but bosses can be real butt heads.

[runningemiles]

I am really sorry you are going through all of this and feeling so anxious. I understand the feeling of calling in sick but you have to take care of yourself. I get the same way about feeling guilty for not being there. I have never broken out like that but have had the feeling I just cannot get out of bed. You have probably been doing way to much. Please let us know how your are doing! Take care

[ICNDonna]

You absolutely need to see your doctor. Four days is too long to be that sick without help. And while you're there, you might ask for a letter stating that is a medical necessity that you have bathroom access --- and take that to your HR office.

Donna

[Tracie]

This is just a thought... You said your bedroom is in the basement? I read a book once that said mold in basements can make people sick also. Maybe you have already gotten that checked out, just thought I would through that out there.
Yes your coworker should care about you, but sometimes people don't know how to handle other peoples problems, unless they have gone through things them selves.
I agree with all the ladies who have posted above me, and I hope you feel better soon!
Tracie

[SharonA]

I am so sorry that all this stuff is happening. It always feels like when one thing goes wrong, more follows. (((Hug)))

[snowgirl]

Jill,

With fingers swollen and the symptoms you described it did sound like an allergic reaction to something. Sounds like the ladies said you should call your MD.
Yes I had in the last year or so flares that put me in bed and I had to use my intermittent FMLA. I had the FMLA for 20 years and used maybe 2 days a year on top of two hyrdros a year . I transfered to a new dept and my IC flared and I physically could not do the job. My intermittent FMLA time was the most I had ever used in just short of 21 years employment.

I was just like you. I would worry about going back to work. What are they saying about me. I had co- workers come to me and tell me what other staff had said about me taking FMLA days. Mean and insensitive comments- mind you these are all RN staff. I only had worked in this dept one year but that was enough to do me in.

At my work place they made a change from HR- your manager has to know you have FMLA but IS not or DOES not have know what it is for. I highly advice you keep your own personal record of days taken off for FMLA . Write them down on a calendar.

The bathroom thing with your phone time- what is that all about. You have IC and you fall under the American Disability Act. I learned this all from my HR dept. You however have to be the one to initiate the ADA act. Tell HR you want to do that. What will happen is then they have to provide you with reasonable accomodations............... that would be in writing and there would be your bathroom access. They don't follow it they violate ADA- they would comply if you filed. I had many meeting with managers, directors and the HR person in charge of FMLA. They always talked about how I fell under the ADA act would come up with a plan and then I look back now and they did not follow that plan. I so wish I would have filed ADA act - actively pursued it . That would be the best recommendation I could give you with this bathroom / phone time. Sometimes I think if I would have filed ADA officially I would today have a law suit against my employer for discrimination.

Good Luck to you. You take your FMLA days and don't let anyone" harass" you about them that's another issue.

Hope you feel better. See now you have the FMLA days it does not count against you as a " Sick day"

Vicky

Sorry so long. I have a LOT of experience with FMLA and employer/ HR.

[Sally939]

As the girls above have said PLEASE go to your doctor. Get a note for being sick and a written note saying you need bathroom access. Most importantly get checked out. I have had cramps from IC that seem to be all over and feel horrible with urgency, frequency and pressure but, not what you are describing. If it is an allergic reaction everytime you are expossed to what is causing the reaction the responce will be greater. If you are still taking the med or whatever that is causing it you will get worse and worse. If it is something else you still need attention. If it is just a flare, pain meds would help. Please go to a walk in clinic on Sat if you have not gone today.

As for the manager, if she is hard on you in anyway report her to HR. I am not a complainer but, this is what HR is for. I have never reported anything a manager has done but would report this in a second. You are sick please do not let the stress of work make you worse. I know this is harder than said. My work stress kills me and my IC.

[gigisgirl]

Thanks ladies for all your responses. I have slept through most of the weekend. I have stopped my medicine and have a doc appointment on Tuesday morning. I'm going back to work tomorrow to face the music. But like most of you said with the FMLA already in place she can ask anything she wants but I don't have to disclose my personal health information to anyone. I'll let you know how it goes.