Sex related question...

[born2swim]

If it is too personal, just let me know... but I just didn't know who to ask and I am not comfortable asking my uro or gyno yet...

Ok... so can I ask a sex question here?

Is it hard for you to start your urine stream after having an orgasm? Even without penetration, just the orgasm will severely hinder my urine stream. Sometimes I sit there for a good 1-2 minutes before anything starts. If I wait 30 minutes or so after, then I can go pretty normally. I just did know if this was a normal thing (I am not all that experienced in that department) or if it related to the bladder thing...

I hope this wasn't too personal... or that I posted an "adult" topic on the wrong forum...

[leelee88]

Alyssa,
I answered your PM..

[GriffsMommy]

I have this problem too. I have a really hard time going after an orgasim. I feel like I have to push to get a stream started which you're not supposed to do. My dr told me this is a part of my PFD.

[ICNDonna]

Part of sexual arousal and orgasm is that the area becomes engorged, like swelling is there. It's absolutely normal to need to wait a while before urinating. Usually ten to fifteen minutes will make a big difference.

Donna

[tigger_gal]

If I wait it out and sometimes it is hard, I can go pretty good.

[SharonA]

I think it is pretty usual to have trouble starting a stream after an orgasm. Think about it...

When we begin to get aroused, our bodies begin to tense up (sexual tension). Females need a lot more sexual tension to build to orgasm. It takes longer for the female to get to the moment of orgasm than it does a man. So, here we are, all tensed up and ready to O. Our bladder and urethra constrict so to not allow urine to escape will we are preparing to orgasm. Our breathing speeds up, our heart rate is very high, our leg muscles are tensing, our pelvic muscles are tense and pulsating to respond to the man's penis to help the man ejaculate. Then orgasm comes in waves and pulses. All the while causing our muscles to squeeze even tighter and our pelvis push down to enable us to have a complete and astonishing orgasm. Then we lay there with our pelvic muscles staying tight and twitching so to keep the sperm inside long enough to fertilize an egg.

Once that is done, then it is time to get up and try to pee. Meanwhile our muscles are still squeezed tight so nothing leaks out...including urine. You have to try to relax everything to allow the built up urine to get out. With tense muscles, the stream is going to naturally be weak. Our bodies are a strange and wonderful thing. Then all of a sudden, you feel the urine rush out of your body a mile a minute. Success...The muscles have gone back to their relaxed state. Everything is as it was.

Ahhh the joys and delights of sex. It is a wonderful and delightful gift.

[BBB]

Sharon~
Nicely put! :woohoo: You did a good job with explaining why that happens. It always, always happens to me and I never knew why. That make completes since.

I like to go to the bathroom right after to clean up and try to go pee as to not get an UTI. I sit on the toliet for about 20 minutes. Too bad I don't smoke anymore. That is what I used to do (LOL).

Seriously, thank you. Very educational and professional.
Betsy

[Billsbaby]

wow sharon,you made me blush:lmao: you need to write a book about how our bodies work,i'll read it!!!jamie

[lisabar36]

That was great Sharon! Explained it very well. Thanks :)

[Want2BPainFree]

To ease this problem, I squat in the tub and use my hand to direct the water stream over me to clean up. The warmth always helps relieve the tension on the PF and then I can pee with ease.

[Claredale]

I normally take a hot bath afterwards as well because of getting so tense. That was my thing even before my IC.

Great explanation Sharon! We should have a Dear Sharon thread!

Tracey

[Billsbaby]

tracey i agree,can we have a new section where sharon answers all of our sex questions,please?i just love how honest,open,and thorough she is with her answers.love you sharon....jamie

[SharonA]

Betsy, Jamie, Lisa, Tracey...Thank you for the compliments. You guys are cracking me up this morning. A Dear Sharon section...:biglaugh::biglaugh::biglaugh:

[SharonA]

Hi Giggles and :welcome: to the ICN...

My PCP was willing to give me Valium to help relax me. I filled the prescription but never took any.

I have found that if I begin relaxing before Hubby and I even start, if we take our time and use plenty of foreplay, if we use lots of personal lubrication, and if we don't rely only on intercourse as the beginning, middle and ending of any sexual contact, then things are a lot easier and less painful.

Are you familiar with those stick on heating pads? If I even have a hint that my bladder is going to hurt afterwards, I use one of them to sooth the bladder.

Another thing I have found that helps this is the heat from my husband's hand. I have him put his hand where my bladder is and leave it there while we are relaxing afterwards.

If I am burning down below, I use one of those jelly filled ice pads that do not totally freeze. Cold really helps with the burning.

IC does not have to cause problems in bed. With enough love and encouragement, the two of you can find ways to make love even if intercourse is not involved.

(((Hugs))) and lots of hope that the two of you can work through this and have a very healthy and happy sex life.

[born2swim]

Im new too this I C thing also but I have the same problem...and I was wondering if anyones doctor has been sympathetic to them about providing muscle relaxers or anything to aid you with having sex??? The during and after pain??? Help!! This thing is ruining my marriage.

Hi Giggles! I'm sorry that it is ruining your marriage :(
You might want to check out the relationship/sex forum and there is a great post about how to make sex less painful. Without spelling it out too much... there are 'other ways' to satisfy you and your husband, so explore those options too.

I would also suggest getting Dr. Moldwin's book for info on IC and common treatments. I think there was a part on sex there. Me... I am afraid to let him penetrate, but he is ok with that as we can do enough 'other stuff'. I just didn't know if it was normal to have so much trouble peeing after having an orgasm. Lots of trouble for me.

My doctor gave me Soma, a muscle relaxant, to help me with daily activities as well as night activities. It helps to a degree, but if I am too active, nothing helps. Some people taking an antibiotic if they are prone to infections. Some take pain killers. My doctor didn't want to have me on Valium for too long (we tried it and it didn't help) because she said that drug can be highly addictive while other muscle relaxants are not as likely to be addicting.

I hope this helped! I'm trying to figure things out as well!:toilet:

[my3boysmcr]

Thanks for all of your suggestions...Im too embarressed to tell my doctor what my symptoms are...And Im sure Im not the only one whos husband is scared to touch them for fear its gonna cause another flair up. :angel:

I have lidocaine gel prescribed by my doctor which helps with the burning. That is the worst part for me.....during. I haven't asked yet for anything to help with the pain after but I know htat I can. He specializes in Women's Health, Pelvic Pain and Sexual Wellness. He directly asks and answers questions in regards to sex. Doctors have heard it all. If you don't ask, you won't get an answer. KWIM?

[Just visiting]

Thanks ... I wouldnt wish this on anybody but I am happy to see that there are people who can relate to what I'm going through...Greatful for all of U!!

[LeeAnn]

Alyssa I don't have anything to add here except

WOOHOO

Who is the lucky guy???

You need to give us the scoop!

[Bea]

i have the same problems, but I have pfd.. If I am able to have sex.. I take a valium and a vicoden and a prosed ds about 1 hour before.. and a warm hot bath after... I also drink 16 ounces of water to help flush it all out.. I can't believe I have to do all this to even try and have sex.. it is aweful.. dh and I rarely do though, cause the pain is just too intense most times...

as far as talking to my ob and uro.. took me for ever.. and I am still a little embarresed, but they gave me great tips.. good luck to you.. and sorry

oh.. when i just had ic sex was good during, but sucked for days after.. now with pfd it sucks during and after, lol.. sometimes pt will give me a chance to have some what normal sex when I take my meds.. okay. I am going off in on a tangent here.. sorry lol

[born2swim]

Alyssa I don't have anything to add here except

WOOHOO

Who is the lucky guy???

You need to give us the scoop!

Haha! I just realized you posted this!!! Well, the guy... lets just say "friends with benefits". He knows all about my bladder and is willing to take things as slow (before, during, after) as I need. I'm not someone that is just casual about sex, but he is a close friend, just got out of a horrible marriage and we both could use some... ah hem... attention... (ok... now I'm going to blush!)

[sandramac]

:smile teeGreat advise Sharon !
Hugs Sandra:cat::cat::cat: