Considering Pregnancy

[glassd18]

I have been going over and over in my mind about trying to get pregnant after my doctor (who also is an infertility specialist) has been trying to convince me to have a baby. I had premature ovarian failure at 35 and so can not use my own eggs. I am 42 going on 43 in February. I was willing to be childless (I have a stepdaughter, but she lives with her Mom far away) My niece looks exactly like me and she is 25 going on 26, and wonder if she would donate an egg to me. This is definitely a strange consideration, but at least I know the blood line, and it would be the closest to being my own genetics (sister's daughter). A lot cheaper too than having to pay for a donor. How would you approach someone with this question?

[maryla]

Usually in sticky situations as this for me, I just pray for the right timing and for God to put the words in my mouth that I need to say, then let it go.

Who knows, she may be honored!

God Bless :pray:

[glassd18]

Thanks Maryla!!! I still haven't asked her yet as I'm so uncertain about the whole thing with IC and all, but I can tell you there is a bit of a hole left when you are told you can't have children of your own. I guess I should have tried to have them when I was in my twenties, but unfortunately for me I hadn't found Mr. Right, and the man I did marry didn't want children. I remarried 7 years ago, and my husband is pretty much behind me on anything I would like to do. I wonder if the stork will help me out on this one!!!lololol

[Laura78]

As a fellow IF sufferer, please accept a virtual hug. You're in a very difficult situation. I'm so sorry & I know the longing for a baby.

A couple of questions I have:
1. How would you react if she said "no?" Obviously you would be disappointed, but would this end your relationship w/ her?

2. Do you have other options for donors if she says "no?" As in, a back up plan.

That is just my 2 cents.

[GriffsMommy]

Wow, that's tough. I think that I would just be honest with her. I would tell her how you feel about the fact that you have not been able to have children. How your dr is suggesting that perhaps you try to have a baby using another woman's eggs. Let her know how honored you would feel if she would help you with this and how you feel she would be the perfect donor being that you both look so much alike. After you give her the info, perhaps have info on how egg donation is done so she knows what she would be getting herself into then give her some space to review the info and mull it over in her head. I wish you the best in this, I can't imagine how hard it must be to have the option to have your own children naturally is taken away from you.

[glassd18]

Thanks everyone for your input. Well I did ask her, but she did not get back to me yet. I told her whatever her decision was is fine with me. It is a huge thing to ask anyone to do for you. She called me back, but unfortunately we didn't hook up so I'm still in the dark. She is my Goddaughter and it would not hurt me or destroy my love for her no way no how, and I hope she doesn't feel awkward. I already told her not to feel pressured. I guess my other options are egg donation from someone else, or adoption or just leave things the way they are. I do have a 13 yr old stepdaughter who is like my own child as she was only 4 when we got together, and considers me her second Mom, but of course it's not quite the same as she lives with her mother. I really think my niece is going to say a resounding NO on this one, and yes I will be a bit dissappointed, but things will just stay the way they are so nothing ventured nothing gained I guess. Thank you again for your hugs, and thoughts.

[Laura78]

Just sending you some thoughts & virtual hugs. I hope you hear something soon.

[glassd18]

Well my niece and I finally hooked up, and she turned me down. She said that if she would have had children already then she would have maybe, but since she doesn't she wants her first baby out there to be her own, and I completely understand that. No harm done!!! In the meantime my step daughter is here visiting and is lavishing me with hugs and kisses so I really can't complain. Thanks everyone for your good wishes, and hugs!!!

[Berkshire Road]

Never forget, adoption is a beautiful thing.