The meaning of Christams...

[Sunflower2]

Well.. I am really not looking forward to this Christams because...drama with family. My husband and I told our family what we wanted to do this Christmas. We are thinking about spending our money on people who are less fortunate than we are or animals that are in need of help. We told them not to spend that much money for Christmas this year and then spend our money for the needy. Our reason was because of this Christmas. My husband and I got a house this year so we're sort of tight on our spending for gifts.However,we're trying to do charity things like I said.
When we brought this up this subject like September or October, they were totally happy about our idea and even said it was a GREAT idea !!!! ( They thought that we were joking about this:mad: WOW!!!Surprised!!!)
Now, some of the family members are being so childish and giving us hard time because we are trying to spend our money for the needies. We are not saying that we won't buy any gifts to them. However, they think we are being cheap or bad people who are not doing commercialized holiday celeberators:cussing: My husband and I were thinking about since when we cannot be giving human being and care about other people. What's more upsetting about is my MIL even said that I don't like Christmas because I don't do tree decolation or gifts like her. I thought about the meaning of Chrismas is to celeberate Jesus birthday with loved ones and have a good time together. Not so much about presents!!!! My hubby and I are thinking about they are so upset because they may not get as many gifts as they're expected (?) and we're the horrible people who don't give a damn about tradition of gift exchange. Isn't that supposed to be giving human being in the Bible??? I really wanted to honor the meaning of Christmas this year. I wish they understand our reason. Are we the selfish people here ??? We told our family member that we don't need any gifts from them and spend their money for charity. Now all I want is to have a peace and quiet time for Christmas without this drama :rant::rant::rant:

[leelee88]

You know What has depressed me the most this year is how people do blow everything WAY out of proportion and forgot the TRUE meaning of Christmas.

I think you and your husband decision is strictly up to yall, You both do what you feel is in your heart and don't worry what other people say. They will get over it. We have told ALL our family and friends to not expect much if not nothing at all. We are buying for the kids and we have decided to sponsor a few families in need. And if they cant understand then tough!

Now I will say this my brothers family is more into the buying things so we did ask them if they would just draw names this year instead of everyone having to buy for everyone, so they did agree to this. And we agreed to this, so we only have to buy for 2 people instead of the whole extended family that comes there every year. But if they wold not have done this then they would of all just had to deal with not getting anything. So that might be a suggestion.

But don't let this get you down. We all have to remember what the true meaning of Christmas is about. It's Jesus's Birthday not everyone elses.. I hope things work out...

[Claredale]

Rhonda is right. Do what is in your heart and don't worry about what others think. I love decorating my home for Christmas and getting together with friends and family. It has made it even more enjoyable when we aren't trying to work on buying gifts and all that stress. We still buy for our grown sons and new daughter-in-law. I do enjoy giving them presents that I know that they need and will enjoy. but we are cutting back and giving gifts and our time to people that we know need it more than we do. I have to admit I would love to still be buying toys and playing Santa, but now it's for other people that otherwise may not get what they want and need.

I love the way my side of the family started celebrating Christmas years ago, and just enjoy getting together for a day during the busy Christmas season. We would all take an inexpensive gift and play games and the gifts would be the prizes. Everyone would bring something to eat and there isn't any stress especially for our family members that don't have alot in the way of money, but are so giving in other ways.

I have a memory book that we write in every year for my husband and sons and now my daughter-in-law. Reading over that book and looking at pictures of our past Christmases is one of my favorite memories besides celebrating the real reason for the season.

Merry Christmas!
Tracey

[SharonA]

Do what is in your hearts; not what is in people's heads. :):):)

[ABliske]

I think it's great that you want to help charitable causes and your family shouldn't be expecting anything! It might be nice to make something for them though - even just a handmade card, baked goods or some homemade jam. Then, you can't be blamed for not being in the holiday spirit. Not that you should do things just to ward off the criticism, but you will be very giving in spite of the grief they've given you. This is what the holidays are about - bringing joy to others!!
My in-laws bought wheel chairs for those in need one year and gave their kids a picture of the person who would be receiving the wheel chair. I thought that was pretty nice. It let them know what good was being done in place of them getting a gift. My husband did gripe about it though in a joking way.

[Berkshire Road]

I'm still trying to wrap my mind around this. People are complaining because you want to give to charities? I think it's a wonderful thing that you and your husband have planned, and you should not let anyone stop you from expressing the caring and generosity that is in your heart.

I find your idea inspiring. When I look around, no one in my family is struggling financially - they don't need anything. But a lot of people do. For this year we will do some of each (traditional gift giving to people who already have more stuff than they know what to do with vs. providing aid and assistance to people who are in serious need.) But maybe in the future we'll be able to push more in the direction of charity.

I do see that it's important to do something to make our relatives happy at the holiday season. But, as someone said, baked goods or a craft project if you have one, or even coupons for favors you will do for them throughout the year -- those things should bring a smile to people's faces, and isn't that really the reason we give gifts, in the first place?

You are making a wonderful choice, and I applaud you for it. Eventually, the people around you will have to get used to it, and maybe you'll even inspire others to follow your example. Go for it!

[Sunflower2]

Thank you all for the advice. I may try some baking or scrapbooking stuff for gifts since we cannot really spare extra money. If they complain about it, then no more gifts for them ever!!! I was telling my husband how could they become so ungrateful. Once they were living their lives by eating can of beans day in day out, (because that's all they could afford) and now they have so much money and don't really think about how they spend their money at all. They are complaing that WE are the horrible people who break the tradition of gift exchanges and even called me that I am anti-Christmas person. I was beginning to wonder why caring other people make me a BAD person.....My husband is trying to have a peace between them and me. He totally agrees with me but trying to make his family happy too. I am so tired of this crap!!!! I was beginning to think that just give them gift cards or something to just make them happy. But again, if we do then, they probably won't be happy either.

[tigger_gal]

I agree wth Sharon, follow your heart and do what you think is the best for you :grouphug:

[ICNDonna]

Several years ago, our family (grown children and all of us) decided that trying to buy gifts for people who don't need anything is stressful and was taking the fun out of the holidays for us. So we do something a little different. Everyone has a paper bag with their names on them --- and everyone brings silly little things to put in the bags. Then late in the day we open the bags and share what's in them. We really enjoy it and it has taken the stress away for us.

And we are able to help a family with three small children have a better Christmas.

Donna

[SharonA]

Donna...I really like that idea and it sounds like fun. Do you give "gag" gifts or things that might be useful?

[ICNDonna]

It can be either. We have seen everything from gummy worm mice to comic print underwear! Last year one of our kids brought noisemakers for everyone and we had a "band" .....

And everyone brought a $25 gift card to some store; we put them all in plain brown bags and everyone got one. Loads of fun! And not expensive.

Donna

[sandymarie]

Read Acts 10 in your Bible where the angel of the Lord went before Cornelius and told him that his gifts to the poor have come up as a memorial offering before God. How much more will you be given if you give to those that are less fortunate than you. You will never be able to outgive God. He knows your hearts even better than you do. Put God first, he will take your depression and anxiety away. We will never be able to please people. A hard lesson, but I have had to learn that also. The more I worry, the sicker I get. Pray for them and do what you feel in your heart is right. They did not provide you with a new house. God did. Donna has a great idea, that sounds like fun and laughter is better than gifts anyday. I will pray that they will understand how you feel. I know you love them too. I just do not understand why anyone would down you for thinking of the less fortunate people who might not even have a dinner on the table. I hope this helps. I think our generation has spoiled our children, I speak for myself especially and we have given them too much. I have done without for my children and so have most other mothers. Maybe this will let them understand the real meaning of Christmas. I know you will be blessed for doing the right thing. Most of the time the right thing is not the easiest.


Be blessed,

JJ:pray:

[Claredale]

Donna, that's pretty much what we do with my mom's side of the family. It does make it so much more fun! We play a number of games and the winner gets to pick a gift. It could be anything from a gag gift to something practical. You never know what you are going to get!!! Someone in the family re-gifted a calendar from 1969 a few years ago. The funny thing was that the calendar matched up to the upcoming year, so he hung it up in his college apartment.

T83

[leelee88]

Donna that does sound like fun!

We are doing the Dirty Santa again this year, I ask last year here on the boards how it worked and someome informed me and it was such a GREAT success last year. Our family had loads of fun with the game, so we decided to do it again this year.

Money is a little tighter this year, so we cannot buy all the snacks and food we usually have for are Christmas get together, so we just ask this year for each family member to bring a dish or snack and they all agreed and was fine with that.

Being with family and enjoying their company is much more precious than getting and receiving expensive gifts. :angel:
Follow your heart (((hugs))))

[ICNDonna]

I'd like to know how to do Dirty Santa!

:)
Donna

[mary124]

We are somewhat in a financial bind due to my medical expensive this year, and I'm somewhat on the "outs" with my Mom--don't know what i did or said but she is very short when i call and try to talk to her, so I just talk to my Dad.
Anyway, since we are staying home this year, I will give gift cards to the kids that are under 18years old, (and I think that my Sister/Brother will too- my kids are older than 18 but they do this anyway because if they didn't they think its not fair that I'm dishing out money for their kids (altogether they have 8 kids between them).
I also have a family that i help each year- she is a very close friend of ours and has 3 small grandchildren that she has guardianship over. The friend is struggling and don't really have any $$ to buy gifts for her g/c so Joe & I go out and buy a few things (watching these kids open up their gifts on Christmas is a joy to us as they are small children - and ours are grown up).

[Sunflower2]

Thanks eveybody. Yes, it's not that easy to the right thing. But I do know in my heart, someone in this world will have better Christmas because of me and my sweetest huband. That's how I want to think of it :angel: I know that we can have a wonderful Christmas together without lots of gifts. Just like some of you gave me some great ideas. Every year, I tell my husband what I want for Christmas is two things. One is Sunflower calendar (because I am crazy for sunflowers) and another thing is can of tennis balls ( I play tennis for my hobby, that's why).Those two things are my MUST have items. I don't think that's too much to ask for it, right??? Sometimes, my hubby even asks me what I want besides those two items, But I always tell him the same thing :bunny: I tried to make everybody happy, but I realized that there is ALWAYS someone who is NOT happy. I am not a superwoman. I am just me. I am really grateful for everyone here to give me your insightful advices. I just want you all to have a wonderful holiday !!!!! Again, Thank you all :grouphug:

[SandyRN]

You can never make everyone happy. Do what you feel is right and what is in your heart and if they don't understand that is their problem. They'll either get over it, or they won't. I love everyone's ideas. If I didn't still have kids on the young side I wouldn't be buying much either.