it's offical..they ruined Christmas

[waterflow]

Well, once again my family has ruined Christmas for me compeltely. Long story but it will be another doom and gloom time until after January 2. I tried taking the celexa again but for some reason it caused a feeling of a lot of pressure on my chest and made it hard to breath. Plus I couldn't sleep. It didn't do that before so not sure why now. Think I should keep to myself for a while again. Will only come whining and there is nothing any of you can do or say to change how I feel. You try helping me so much and I really appreciate it but I don't want to cause any of you the feeling of frustration. So much for the Grinch again this year.

[leelee88]

((((hugs))))) I am so sorry Mary..I really wish there was something I could say or do to help you. :pray:

[Bessie]

I know I can't change your family issue but I do want you to know that I am praying for you :pray:
You are very special to all of us here so please stay on here o.k.?
Take care,
Laura

[ICNDonna]

Nobody can ruin your Christmas unless you allow them to. You might think about spending at least a part of that day at a local nursing home. There are people in nursing homes who never have visitors and I'm very sure they would appreciate having some company.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[Natalie41]

I'm sorry you are having family problems. I hope things get better for you.

[SandyRN]

I agree with Donna....if you let them, they WILL ruin your Christmas, but you don't have to let them. Christmas is what YOU make of it and there are a lot of things you can do to have that Christmas spirit and REALLY feel good about yourself.

One year I took my 3 kids down to a soup kitchen and we volunteered to serve meals to people who otherwise wouldn't have been able to have a nice Christmas dinner. It taught them that there is more to Christmas than presents and it also taught them, and ME that there are ALWAYS people worse off than we are. Find YOUR personal blessings and go share them with someone who will appreciate what YOU have to give.....at a nursing home, a children's hospital, see if you can work in a food pantry part time the week before Christmas handing out bags of groceries, give your time to your favorite charity (something involving animals maybe?), or a soup kitchen. You would be surprised how thankful these people are to see a smiling, kind face on Christmas day. I just can't tell you what it did for my family and when I see my oldest son in college I see an empathetic, kind young man who is always willing to help. It will be good for you....YOU WILL FEEL GOOD ABOUT YOURSELF if you help someone less fortunate and it doesn't matter what or where, just that you are being useful.

Sandy

[mimimama]

please don't feel ashamed about feeling down and venting. we all have good days and bad days.
:pray:

[mayray]

Mini mama you look like Shania Twain. Can you sing?

[mimimama]

Thanks mary..I can sing..pretty well I've been told and although no one has ever told me I look like shania, I take it as a huge compliment! Thanks!

Sorry to go off topic here:(

[Claredale]

I have noticed that too, but prettier actually! I know people have complimented you on your hair. It is so pretty!

Tracey

[Bessie]

I agree with you Tracey. :)
You are beautiful and your compassion makes you even more beautiful :smile tee

[donnadb40]

Just so that you don't feel alone, my husband ruins my Christmas in some way every year! Guess he felt like starting early this year! What an ass! It's always great to have family "SUPPORTING YOU---NOT" when you are in pain, especially around the holidays! Oh well, hang in there! One of these days, they will get what's coming to them!:smile tee

[BBB]

I am so sorry that people, let alone your family, has to bring you down like that. You are not alone as I hear this a lot from my friends, especially this time of year. Like Donna said they can't ruin it unless you allow them to, however even if you don't let them, their behavior will still impact you and cause you disharmony.

Maybe start the greiving process of the loss that those family members will never be what you would like them to be. That way you have to go thru the hurt once. It will still hurt like hell but at least you can begin to heal eventually.

Please don't let them to invite you emtotionally to discontinue being part of the place you are safe and loved. They win. Don't give up your power. Reclaiming it and setting boundries can do good for the soul.

Finally, pressure in the chest can be a syptom of anixety. Have you talked with a good counselor? It can also be something more serious so please see your doctor.

You will be in my thoughts and prayers during the holidays. Feel the love of the season! It is out there, like in nursing homes or soup kitchens as somebody mentioned.

My assistant and I took 4 complete turkey dinners to the food bank yesterday. She, my assitant, had heard on the radio that they were giving out free lift tickets with each bag of food. Come to find out we were at the wrong food bank. But you know what....it didn't really matter. We felt great contributing.

We actually saw a mother and her 4 children that had just come from a safe house and she was moving into an apartment and had nothing. She was crying when they gave her the food and of course we were too! My point is I think volunteering as Donna suggested is good for feeling very wanted and needed.

Take Care,
Betsy

[karen10]

Mary -- that could be a side effect of the med, sometimes it can cause that feeling, you should check with you doctor. I agree with the others, it sounds like you give your family too much control! We can't change how others act, all we can do is control how we respond to what others do. A quote that has helped me when I have been discouraged is: "life is 10% circumstances and 90% attitude." In other words, your circumstances might be truly hard, but how you respond to it makes all the difference (and I know this is much, much easier said than done!). I would let myself feel sad for a time, but then I would be determined in finding some positive happy things in my life, even just small things. I would encourage you to find things that make you feel good and focus on those. Hope you feel better soon! :pray:

[Zygala87]

Mary I didn't get to read other posts about your Family. I'd like to know how they are making you feel so rotten. I allowed my In-Laws to manipulate me in many negitive ways that hurt me. (my fault) I wanted to be loyal to my Husband and support him. Bad idea. Her favorite saying was "I don't get mad, I get even" I say "I don't get even, I get my own way somehow." They both died. I was the one who was forced to tell her she was terminal. The rest of the family were cowards. I was very pleased to find it broke my heart to have to let her know. I didn't let their bad behavior into my soul. I have learned to close the door on people who hurt me, are liars or users. I am now a very contented person. Not that they are gone but I have learned to protect myself. I hope you find the same. Ziggy