ihurttoo
11-16-2007, 07:11 PM
I was reading an article in this month's "Good Housekeeping". December issue. The article was called "Are you too Sensitive?" It is really a great one for most of us! It is definately worth buying the magazine this month, just for that one article!
But, they had some great tips on how to cope when you are sensitive.
Here is the paraphrased version:
1) When someone hurts your feelings, it is best to remove yourself from the situation and try to put some time between you and the hurtful words (if possible), before you instinctively reply back and make the situation worse. After all, sometimes you may have misunderstood, or they may not have meant it the way it came out. By leaving and putting some time and distance between the situation, you can regain your composure and think before YOU speak and decide the best way to handle the situation.
2)Consider the source. When someone has offended you, think about who has done the offending and whether or not this person knows what they are talking about. If they have critisized your spending habits, do they know your finances? If they have critisized your child-rearing, do they know the intimate day-to-day details of your life and how you truly interact with your children and the minutia of your life? If they have critisized your med use, do they truly know how sick you are and understand all about IC? Considering the source can help put it in perspective.
3) Dont always call a friend. Sometimes, calling a friend can cause you to stew longer and overanalyze something trivial. (I am not saying you shouldnt stew or analyze important matters, but for minor slights, is it really necessary to call a friend to discuss whether or not your child's teacher REALLY liked your new hairstyle or not, (after all, she didnt SAY anything about it, until you asked her!)
**One note here.** If you choose to ignore this advice, and DO call a friend, please call the RIGHT friend for each situation. By that I mean, if it is a health problem or an IC problem, call an IC friend. If it is a family problem, call a family member. If it is a church problem, call a church friend. If it is a work problem, call a work friend. It seems logical, but many of us forget this, and unfortunately, we tire out people by calling the wrong people for the wrong things. Like we forget and call family for IC things, or we call work people for family things. That's where we wear people out. Does that make sense?
4)Try to examine whether or not you are a bit self-absorbed. Do you have the "It's all about me" syndrome? If so, it may be time to check your ego. Sometimes it really isnt about you! Sometimes people dont wave b/c they didnt see you! Sometimes your boss doesnt answer your email or call immediately b/c he is busy! Sometimes Drs. dont call us or email us back right away b/c they are busy, (not b/c they dont care.) So, try not to take these things personally!
5) Mediate. Dont brood! Researchers at from San Diego State University and the University of California at San Diego found mindful mediation has been shown to treat stress, anxiety, and depression! It is especially good at helping people who tend to think about hurtful remarks from replaying them mentally over and over again. They make meditation CDs with music that can be purchased online. It is definately worth a try!
6) Make a list of your strengths and ask family members to do same for you!
The more aware you are of your strong suits, the less likely you are to fall apart when you are critisized! This is b/c sensitive people often take harsh words or critisizm or insults to reflect their whole personality instead of just one little thing they need to work on!
When someone has hurt your feelings and you cant leave, let them know b saying, "OUCH! That hurt my feelings!
That gives the person a chance to retract, apologize, or change what they said.
You could also ask the person why they would say such a thing, or if they would explain what they meant by that. This puts them in the position of defending their statement and backing it up factually.
Lastly, dont forget that there is a good side to being too sensitive too! We are the ones who are in touch with others feelings and know when those around us are suffering! So, that's why we are always here to help them, b/c we are so sensitive, THAT's how we know they are suffering! :) So, at least we get SOMETHING out of it! LOL!
Anyway, I thought it was a great article! (I just sort of paraphrased it.) It is much, much better than that and ALOT longer! Plus there is alot of other great stuff in this months mag (including a free 1 week trial for Ambian CR!!! :woohoo:) Plus, it is the Christmas issue so lots of decoration ideas, cookie, party ideas, gift ideas, etc. So go get a copy! You wont be disappointed!
Many hugs to all,
Amy
But, they had some great tips on how to cope when you are sensitive.
Here is the paraphrased version:
1) When someone hurts your feelings, it is best to remove yourself from the situation and try to put some time between you and the hurtful words (if possible), before you instinctively reply back and make the situation worse. After all, sometimes you may have misunderstood, or they may not have meant it the way it came out. By leaving and putting some time and distance between the situation, you can regain your composure and think before YOU speak and decide the best way to handle the situation.
2)Consider the source. When someone has offended you, think about who has done the offending and whether or not this person knows what they are talking about. If they have critisized your spending habits, do they know your finances? If they have critisized your child-rearing, do they know the intimate day-to-day details of your life and how you truly interact with your children and the minutia of your life? If they have critisized your med use, do they truly know how sick you are and understand all about IC? Considering the source can help put it in perspective.
3) Dont always call a friend. Sometimes, calling a friend can cause you to stew longer and overanalyze something trivial. (I am not saying you shouldnt stew or analyze important matters, but for minor slights, is it really necessary to call a friend to discuss whether or not your child's teacher REALLY liked your new hairstyle or not, (after all, she didnt SAY anything about it, until you asked her!)
**One note here.** If you choose to ignore this advice, and DO call a friend, please call the RIGHT friend for each situation. By that I mean, if it is a health problem or an IC problem, call an IC friend. If it is a family problem, call a family member. If it is a church problem, call a church friend. If it is a work problem, call a work friend. It seems logical, but many of us forget this, and unfortunately, we tire out people by calling the wrong people for the wrong things. Like we forget and call family for IC things, or we call work people for family things. That's where we wear people out. Does that make sense?
4)Try to examine whether or not you are a bit self-absorbed. Do you have the "It's all about me" syndrome? If so, it may be time to check your ego. Sometimes it really isnt about you! Sometimes people dont wave b/c they didnt see you! Sometimes your boss doesnt answer your email or call immediately b/c he is busy! Sometimes Drs. dont call us or email us back right away b/c they are busy, (not b/c they dont care.) So, try not to take these things personally!
5) Mediate. Dont brood! Researchers at from San Diego State University and the University of California at San Diego found mindful mediation has been shown to treat stress, anxiety, and depression! It is especially good at helping people who tend to think about hurtful remarks from replaying them mentally over and over again. They make meditation CDs with music that can be purchased online. It is definately worth a try!
6) Make a list of your strengths and ask family members to do same for you!
The more aware you are of your strong suits, the less likely you are to fall apart when you are critisized! This is b/c sensitive people often take harsh words or critisizm or insults to reflect their whole personality instead of just one little thing they need to work on!
When someone has hurt your feelings and you cant leave, let them know b saying, "OUCH! That hurt my feelings!
That gives the person a chance to retract, apologize, or change what they said.
You could also ask the person why they would say such a thing, or if they would explain what they meant by that. This puts them in the position of defending their statement and backing it up factually.
Lastly, dont forget that there is a good side to being too sensitive too! We are the ones who are in touch with others feelings and know when those around us are suffering! So, that's why we are always here to help them, b/c we are so sensitive, THAT's how we know they are suffering! :) So, at least we get SOMETHING out of it! LOL!
Anyway, I thought it was a great article! (I just sort of paraphrased it.) It is much, much better than that and ALOT longer! Plus there is alot of other great stuff in this months mag (including a free 1 week trial for Ambian CR!!! :woohoo:) Plus, it is the Christmas issue so lots of decoration ideas, cookie, party ideas, gift ideas, etc. So go get a copy! You wont be disappointed!
Many hugs to all,
Amy