Liife can't get much worse

[tigger_gal]

you know it took me 6 hours to even decided if wanted to even post this, because I am quite sure everyone is a bit tired of hearing me whine about my on going battle with the children I took in. The only good news I have is our adoption for our son will be in March of 2008.. I chose to post because I really do need your support right now, I didn't know if I should post here because all of this has sent me in a massive un-walkable ic and fibro flair, or in prayer request, or depression boards, so I just went here!!
You all know lost my home, and have moved to a rental, I love the house and the room, its just not home!! A week ago or so, I lost it and needed a break from the kids, as bad as that sounds I needed them to be gone for a while.t me and my husband, My sister threw a massive fit and cornered my niece Becky she said some really horrible stuff about me and my husband. I am done with her!! I really mean it. My daughter is in Nashville, and is very sick and I can't be there to take care of her. My fridge kicked the bucket, and NO ONE has any funds to help me, despite I have 2 foster children!
The one place with funds won't help me because I am not a home owner, they say because it is beneficial to the home owner! what like I am going to keep my land lords food in it?? how retarded is this..
well since November iis on a downhill mudslide, court was today for Steph, they are not going to terminate. I don't know why or what happened. All I know was my case worker called and told Dave that they are not terminating, and she is ward of the court or the state, he don't recall.. thats a man for ya!!! He saiid we have to go thru all we went thru with Jake, and was told when I took her it was an auto terminate!! and I took her because the other county sad the kids had to be together. I will email my case worker and have her call me and explain whats going on. I just don't understand what happened here and why this had a sudden turn around. It was a simple open and close case, if they give her a parent plan and she actually dose it n the 12 months she gets how do explain to me son why his sissy went away. How will I mentally be able to deal with losing the baby I have been raising?

[Bessie]

:pray:Hi Cindy,
Can you rent one or maybe buy a real cheap used one?
I think someone is confused about the baby. You keep getting differernt information. It sounds like someone does not know how to do their job and are saying things that aren't so. I just thing someone has gotten mixed up and that in the end you will have your baby. It can be so frustrating dealing with families and legal issuses. Hang In There.....I am pulling for you and of course praying for you :pray::pray:
Love,
Laura

[leelee88]

:pray::pray:

Cindy I am so sorry you had such a rough day.. My thoughts and prayers are with you and Jake and Steph..(((hugs))))

[ihurttoo]

Dear Cindy,

I am so very sorry for all you have been thru and are currently going thru. I have never been thru your situation with the children (nor known anyone going that has gone thru it), so I dont have the first clue how to help you there. But, with all of your family and friends and 30,000 members here and all of the prayers going up for you, someone WILL think of something! I know it is very difficult to be patient in the midst of all that is going on, but please pray and let God guide you in this. We will do the same for you. No one here wants to see that child taken from you.

Regarding the refrigerator, in my town, our newspaper has a Needs column in it where if someone has something they need and they are a family with special circumstances (as you are), then they will place the ad for free for them. I am betting that your local paper has something similar. Also, I bet the newspapers in the surrounding counties also have similar services. Please call them and check and see. Be sure and tell them that you are a disabled mother of an adopted child and have one foster child and you have just lost your home and now your refrigerator went out and you need a refriegertor for the baby's formula. SOMEONE WILL HELP YOU!! I am sure of it.

If that does NOT pan out, then there is probobly a used appliance store in your town. (My town is very small....much smaller than yours, and there is one in mine.) When I was single, and couldnt afford appliances, I bought all of mine there. I got my washing machine for $75, my dryer for $50, and my refrigerator for $90. All of them were about 4-5 years old, and worked fine. The place was an appliance repair store that picked up used stuff from from people's houses for free when it was broken, and they were gonna buy new stuff. Then, they'd fix it and sell it. I am betting there is a place like this in your town too, if not then certainly there will be one within 50 miles of you! :)

Last, but not least, do not forget that you can always go to your area churches! (I know your daughter was very involved with one when she lived there, and I KNOW that they would help you with this...ANY church would!) So, please, PLEASE, do not distress over this! There are answers out there and God has always provided for you in the past, and he will continue to provide for you. You just have to trust, and to reach out, the help is there.

Again, I am so sorry that you are going thru so much right now. I now sometimes when there is so much going on at the same time, we all get overwhelmed. But, please just take one day at a time and one item on your list at a time, and cross each thing off and move on to the next. And try not to think about the other things until you come to them. (I know this is easier said than done. I truly do. But, please try!)

I know many here have been praying for you, and I will say a prayer for you tonite too before I go to sleep that God lighten your load and send you some relief, and that he send you some help with the kids, and that he give you assurance that you will have them forever, and that he ease your financial burdens, and that he lift you up on his shoulders and carry you for a while, as you are growing weary. May God bless you and your family. Amen

Many hugs,
Amy

[Berkshire Road]

Oh, Cindy, every mother needs a break sometimes, and you're in a very stressful situation. But I think you should wait until you talk to the social worker, before you let this overwhelm you. You'll know the facts (men can never get those things straight!), and then you'll be able to take a deep breath and make a plan for dealing with them. If there's any fairness in life, you should get Stephanie -- and even more importantly, she should get you. The courts are crazy if they send her back into that household!

I'm sorry about the refrigerator. That's the one appliance it's really hard to live without. Amy has some good ideas about that. It's hard to believe you can't get assistance with this, especially when you have a baby in the house. That is just so wrong. I'm sorry I don't really have anything to offer but my sympathy.

[BBB]

Cindy,
Oh honey, I am so sorry your having a bad week. Although I don't want to downgrade it, what you are going through is awful, especially what you are trying to do with your foster children. I can't beleive anyone would want to take one away. My prayers are with you that this will turn out ok. I so admire what foster parents do! You are the true angels amoung us.:angel:

Have you tried the Catholic church? They are great at helping others.We love to do drives, etc. Also some vendors give a discount in my county (Mesa County, Colorado) to foster parents.

I have a fridge I could give you but how would I get it to you? Please PM me and lets talk. Maybe I could get someone to donate shipping. Seriously let's talk. The lord has blessed me (just wish it would have been health, he was a letter off) so and I love to give back.

Take Care!
Betsy

[GriffsMommy]

Oh no Cindy! I'm so sorry I didn't see this last night but I think I was in a coma by the time you posted. I'm so sorry that you haven't been able to get a fridge since the last time we talked. And ugh is all I can say about the court date for Stephanie. I can't imagine having to go through all of this stuff again. I am so sorry. Tonight is our wedding anniversary but I will try to find some time to call you because I know you need to complain and whine which is what you should be doing. Just know I'll be thinking of you today at work :grouphug: :pray:

[Sally939]

Oh I am very sorry. Have you tried contacting a Christian church about the fridge funds. We have a very large one here and someone told me they do things like that. I am so sorry about you daughter. That is so sad. It is sad for you, your son, and her. We can only hope and pray that she stayes at the best place for her (your house).

[Michelle25]

Have you looked into Freecycle in your area? You can post that you need one, and you'll more than likely find someone that has one just sitting somewhere taking up space.. The newspaper is also a good idea.

[ICNDonna]

You might try, in addition to Freecycle, St. Vincent dePaul and Goodwill. Sometimes one of these will have a fridge for $50 or even less.

Hang in there --- things will get better.

Hugs,
Donna

[tigger_gal]

Thanks girls so much, most of you know my niece didn't fight one bit for my son.. yes biologically he is hers, but she is not the mom. Stephanie I have had since she was 3 days old. by the time she dose this plan, if they gave her one she will be 15 months old and will be screaming to go home to mommy, omg this breaks me heart. They are going to put her in the domestic violence home that they took Jake out of WHY???
I have called and emailed my case worker, just waiting on a return email or call.

OK, The only Catholic Church I knew was St Mary Madlen, and they have closed there doors, so very sad. I think there s one just down the road I can call.

Free cycle.. OH Michelle I have went and looked at 3, one had duct tape holding the shelves up, so I could picture everything clasping when I put the food in it.
2nd one was a dorm fridge.. then just told me t was smaller then normal. (I have ashley's but it holds very little, and the freezer holds 2 ice trays) and this one was smaller. The 3rd one.. was one of those very old ones that you open the door and the freezer is inside, the kind you defrost, ok it will work, except it had black stuff in it and mold came to mind.

I went into craigslist.org and found 3 that were reasonable. 2 were gone, the other will be available this weekend, so I am using my van pmt money.

St. Vincent dePaul and Goodwill, Salvation army, county community services, have no funds. the used appliance stores that sell them start at 175.00.

and my mom wonders why I need xanax!!!!!!!1

[GriffsMommy]

That so sucks Cindy! You know that we are broke as a joke as well but I swear if I had the money I would have already sent it to you :grouphug:

[dancemomof2]

(((HUGS)))) so sorry all this is happening again with the baby. I was so worried it would, but you know I am always here. Hoep your flares ease so and you find out the states plan is a little better then hubby explained.

[tigger_gal]

:kissing::grouphug:
I just bathed Stephanie, and feeding her before she goes, she wll be ready for her next bottle when she comes home!! I have been making bottles and sendng them. last week I but 3 scoops in a juice bottle, and put the reg bottle in there and told Gary that the bottle was ready to mix, all she needs to do is add 6 ounces of warm water.. Then she had to ask, how to make it.

Macomb county called me and said head start will be getting updated fridges, he is gong to find out it there is one in good enough shape for us, he said no promises but he would see what he can do. :pray::pray: please

[dancemomof2]

:pray:

[GriffsMommy]

:pray: :pray: :pray: :grouphug:

[hdb1982]

have you tried the bulletin board. it is a local thing here I don't even know if you have one but there is stuff for sale and give away in there. like I said I don;t know if you even have the bulletin board in your area but it was the only thing I could think of. It's awful when ppl have to miss important payments, like a car payment, to have necessities(sp). I AM PRAYING EVERYTHING WILL GO OKAY WITH STEPHANIE:pray:

[tigger_gal]

WELL I LIED THINGS ARE WORSE


Ok well to tell you the truth you are only getting half of what happened, because I will be banned for cussing:cussing::cussing: like a drunken sailor on a sinking ship!!

I spent my evening in the emergency room covering my ass because Steph's bio mom said she had bruises and running a raging fever. her ear was all plugged up and couldn't hear. All she was doing was screaming and arching her back and stiffening up. well lets see it could be gas, she had been fed an hour before her visit, or she flat out didn't want to be around her.. Then she wrote me a nasty note on the envelope I sent the baby's bracelets to her as dhs asked me to do, which was also faxed for documentation for DHS ........ so that one part of it.

the second part has caused one massive string of complete and utter hatred.
after what she has done (said something untrue in court), not one family member will ever speak to her again.

If she is still allowed to attend doctor visits then dhs better figure out a way to get Steph there, because I detest the thought of even looking at her.

I can't spend another year of gong thru this again..

[Bessie]

I am so sorry this is happening to you. It just does not seem fair. I will pray for you and your family. :pray:
Hang in there!

[GriffsMommy]

:grouphug: I still can't get over all of this. I can totally understand why noone in your family will talk to her again, it has just gone too far this time. I crap just keeps on piling on and that totally sucks. You know I'm always around after work for you to complain to (another word would work so much better there, lol.)

[ICNDonna]

You'll get through this. You are a very strong person.

Donna

[ICNJess]

Cindy,

There is one thing I have learned throughout my mess and that is, you are must stronger than you think you are, especially when you have to be. I know right now things feel like they are crumbling down around you, but they will look up hun. Everything will work out. Hang in there, you have a lot of support on your side.

((((((((((((hugs and love))))))))))))

Jess

[tigger_gal]

I have never been so grateful n all my lfe,, for all the support you have give me.

[hdb1982]

Sorry, but as always. I am a little confused. Does Stephs birth mother want her or is she just causing trouble just for the sake of causing trouble and doesn't even want Steph. It doesn't really matter either way. I can't understand people who only want to be "convenience parents" and tehn fight thr people who are truly taking care of the children. Where would Jake and Steph be without you? God only knows. She should be kissing the ground you walk on. You've raised your daughter and it takes a special kind of person to start mothorhood all over not only with 1 child but 2!! I thought I had my hands full being 25 with my 4 year old and my brothers 3 kids. His oldest is 12 today so she is half my age. Imagine the looks on some of the substitute teachers faces, the ones who don't know the situation, when I go into school to pick her up and they make me show my ID then call the office to get clarification that I am in fact her legal guardian. They look at me like I am crazy. So here I m 25 with 4 kids. 3,4,7,12. AHH I love my life. I am so glad the mothers don't fight me over them. All 3 of his kids have different moms who have abandoned them. It was hardest on the youngest Lexi when LJ went to jail because her mother had raised her her whole life then when LJ went to jail she disappeared. The other 2 kids moms have rarely ever been involved with them. LJ called them before he went to jail and told them the situation and asked if they wanted the kids or if it was okay if I took them. They said they would rather I had them b/c they would have a better life with me. Once the legal guardianship is finalized for all three of them maybe I will be able to get some financial assistance. I need to check into that. I'm sorry I turned this post into about me. It just frustrates me how so many people take advantage of being able to get pregnant and have a child theat they treat like an object wehn so many desreving people can't have biological kids. Ok I am done ranting. I hope everything will workout for you in the end Tig.

[kuntrygurl78]

It breaks my heart what you are going thru. You are a good mom. Jake is a good brother. You should be a family; you are a family! Just wish the state and the fake mom would leave you alone and let you be a family. Sending warm thoughts and prayers your way:pray:

[SandyRN]

Cindy, I'm sorry you're going through so much again. I wish I had some real words of wisdom for you...I really do. You give and give and give so much, it's time for SOMEONE to help you out and GIVE to you. I don't understand the "system" and why it is so hard to get some help for the kids that you have taken into your home and loved as if they were your own. They ARE your own in every sense.

You deserve a break. I haven't been around much because I've been so sick but wanted to tell you how sorry I am that things stink so much for you guys right now....and you DO deserve a child free evening every now and again. Every parent understands that!

Take care, Sandy

[leelee88]

Cindy,
I can't believe your niece.. I dont even know her and I despise her.
It makes me so mad to think she would even consider splitting up the kids..She didnt want Jake but she wants Steph? All she's trying to do is cause you grief!!! Like I said shes just nuts!!

((((hugs)))))
I am always here for you if you need me!!!!!!!!:kissing:

[dancemomof2]

Your neice needs a real life lesson and I am afraid she will never get the big picture. Sorry this has turned into heck..........

[SharonA]

Cindy...I am so sorry that things went so badly. Truth has a way of coming out. That is what I am hoping will happen in this situation. (((Hugs)))

[tigger_gal]

Thanks grirls, it s always refreshing to know you are here for me. I have dsowned her, so has everyone in my family. what she has done cannot be undone. It s completely unforgivable.
I told DHS I dd not want her attendng dr appointments. Ths needs of course needs to be looked into for an answer. If she dose get to attend, I will have some one with me for the simple reason she makes stuff up.
I found out today when I talked to the supervisor that she was demanding that someone take her to the hospital or call an ambulance. The supervisor also told me that she thought she had a bad gas bubble, or simply didn't want to be wiith her, as she stopped crying when handed to another person. the driver sad he don't thiink he can put up the entre year of workng with her.

[Dixiefireball]

Cindy your love for those children will see you through all of this. Don't let your niece win. If you let up for one moment "YOUR BABY GIRL" life will be in danger. A child can tell when and when not they are with someone safe. The baby picked up on some type of sense from your niece it shouldn't had. She was scared of her or she wouldn't had acted in such a way I believe. Yes maybe she had a gas bubble, but it seems awful funny when someone else took the baby she stopped crying. Hon I know things are hard, and I know the last thing you need or want is to have to go through such a nightmarish battle again with your crazy niece, but honey you have too! If you give in and she takes the baby where will that baby end up at?? God only knows.

I'm so sorry your frig went down. I do hope you can find one free on free-cycle. I did get a nice floor model TV from free cycle a few weeks ago. Just in time to my living room TV was going out! Look in your local newspaper to see if you can find on at a fair price, post you need a frig. Even post it in the newspaper. Look at those second hand stores or at least call them I know you don't have the time to drive out to look threw these stores with those two babies.

Call me hon. Let me know how you are. I have a shoulder you can use anytime!

I'm having surgery on Nov 29th, but other than that I have a free shoulder lol.

Take care of yourself, Stay strong for you, and those babies!

I will say a prayer for you, Stephie, Jack, and Ashley. I do hope she is getting better. I know that is breaking your heart she is so far away and you can't get to her while she is ill.

Hang in their kiddo.

Rhonda

[traceann]

Oh geesh Cindy, I am so sorry I've missed all this!!! Sending you lots of hugs and prayers :pray: If I get a chance to talk to my inlaws I'll see if they know of any way to get a fridge - if you haven't gotten one already, since I am so behind in this ;)

XOXO

[Kara29]

Cindy,

I hope things get better. Thining of you!

Many Hugs,

Kara

[tigger_gal]

Thank you gals :) please go read my good news n the gratful boards
http://www.ic-network.com/forum/showthread.php?p=375893#post375893

[hdb1982]

I am so gad you were able to get the help you so desperately needed. If anyone deserves it it was you.:woohoo:

[tigger_gal]

After all the crap she pulled last week, demanding dhs to call an ambulance to take Steph to er, she doesn't even call at her scheduled time to verify she would be going to see her. (found out a bunch of stuff over the last week that was said that I didn't know until afterwards)
if that was me, (but I wouldn't lose my kids) the only thing that would stop me was my own death.
so, I am actually thankful she didn't come, because Steph showed distress being with her, as you all know she came home happy, and took her to the er for the sake of my own protection and dhs.

[Sally939]

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving. I can not believe after all of that she did not hold up her end, but maybe that is good. As she shows she is not responsible she will prove to the authorities that she is unfit. As I have said before, I think she is sick (not saying sick in a mean way). I hope she gets the help she needs to be healthier. I also hope the children stay where they will have the best life (I think with you).

[tigger_gal]

Thanks, yes my niece is sick she does need put in a padded room. I was thrilled that she didn't bother, it worked well for me. we had a wonderful thanksgiving all 14 of us and the 3 dogs and 11 pups, only problem we had was the room under the kitchen flooded we have no clue why and the fridge kicked the bucket again.. had to thaw it out last night, but hubby had a heat gun in the garage, so much faster then my blow dryer lol

I hope you all had a great Thanksgiving

[Sally939]

That is not your new one is it?