Problems with my employer

[mydimples6]

I'm sure many of you have heard this many times. But I don't know what to do. My boss is going to give me a written warning because I had to go home from work the other day. She said that she gave me a verbal warning already, but she has not. She told me that she was going to see if I had missed any days in the previous department that I was in, and I could possible be in trouble if I had very many absences. She did not inform me that it was an official verbal warning or anything.

I think that she wants me out because I have had to have surgery and now may need another one for an interstim. She also put me in a position where I can only leave to go to the restroom 3 times in an 8 hour period, knowing that I have IC and have to use the restroom frequently. So, now I am in so much pain and have had to call people to come up early so that I can use the restroom...also I have a note from my uro stating that I have to use the restroom frequently, but she doesn't care! I don't know what to do now...maybe I can get on FMLA or something...my symptoms are so bad now that I am not sure that I can work anymore. :bonk: Does anyone have any advise, or have you gone through this? :confused:

[ICNDonna]

If there are 50 or more employees where you work, it definitely makes a difference in your rights. Reasonable provisions must be made to accommodate people with disabilities.

Donna

[hdb1982]

Take her some info from the ADA and she will shut up!!

[lmiranda]

Hi,

I went on FMLA and receive disability from my job, they were taken over two months later and I was fired. I still receive the disability and Unum is now helping me with getting Social Security. I have hired a lawyer because the company fired me while on FMLA. You need to learn the rights in your state! They have no right to treat you like that. Every state is different but you have a disability and you should be protected! I hope everything turns out for you.

[BBB]

Honey, I am so sorry this is happening to you! It must be very awful. My prayers are with you!

Lets start from the beginning. Please note, I am in no way officially qualified to give you advice, I am only relaying my personal experience and education.

What your employer is doing, regardless of the Manager who is actually doing the behavior, is illegal. There are two entities that police disabilities in the work place, Federal and State Goverments. Please note both municipalities, in this current environment, are totally geared to protect the employee.

First, FMLA has been mentioned on this Thread and covers Employers with over 50 people within a 50 mile radius. This is so it does not put a hardship on the Company. FMLA covers absences from 4 days to 12 weeks. In addition, your Company probably has a policy which addresses sick, personal and vacation days. You would find this in your Employee Manual.

Second, regardless of which State are at in, or if you qualify for FMLA (which buy the way has many loop holes for the Employer) you have additional rights as an Employee with a disability! This fact is not dependent on the size of your Company. Your Employer can have only 5 Employees and it still doesn't matter!

Lastly, I would talk to an Employment Attorney immediately, not only for piece of mind, but so you can be prepared to talk with your HR department(I would suggest starting with your HR Department instead of your Manager). Knowledge is power! That way you can remain calm and professional and not act from your heart and be emotional. Not that you shouldn't be hurt and cry, as you know this is very trying to deal with on top of your illness.

Typically, a Lawyer will initially talk with you free of charge or for a minimal fee and, if you decide to make a case, they can do it on a percentage pay basis. Sometimes it simply takes a $25.00 letter from your Attorney to your Employer to let them know you are serious. Then they will usually leave you alone.

I see you are in Utah. My husband and operate a brach office of our business there. More on that later. You are in a "free will" State which means either party can terminate the employment arrangement at any time with no reason whatsoever, EXCEPT in the case of disabilities!!!!

Please, please seek out legal counsel. Your Employer is very much at a disadvantage in these types of situations, no matter if they have 5 or 5,000 Employees. I have this knowledge for a couple of reasons.

One, I am an Executive Senior Vice President for a National Bank with 5,000 Employees. Due to my health issues and having two babies in the last five years, I have missed a lot of work! My Manager was horrible, horrible. Looking back I can't even imagine why I worked with him for seven years.

Anyway, he was completely nice to me before I got pregnant and started missing work. I finally contacted an Employment Attorney two years ago and could not beleive what could be done to the Company because he, my Manager, was acting as their respresentative. I didn't even have to file a suit, much less go to a trial, the issues were settled between the Lawyers.

I could have received a large sum of money, however that is not what it was about for me so I just accepted what I felt I was owed for back pay. I really just wanted everyone to know what a jerk he was and how much the stress he caused me effected and exasterbated my IC. I am happy to say I found a wonderful new job, with a raise and an excellent Manager (it is a women this time, yeah!) shortly after I started my case against the Employer. We finished up the case after I had left, so really I had less leverage. Their Attorney didn't think so, damn he wanted to settle and fast!

Finally, I also oversee the HR Director for my husband's Engineering Firm. It is small with only 27 employees and four offices, one of which is in Utah. He has the best pro-Employer HR Attorney in Colorado. He hired her after he got his butt kicked around a few times for being ignorant of how tough the laws are to protect the Employees. She always pushes him to settle due to the fact the laws are on the side of the Employee and for good reason!

So if you are truly disabled, which you are, please don't let them treat you like this and take back your power. You are no less for having a disability.

Wishing you much success! Please PM me if you need a shoulder to vent on.

Take Care,
Betsy

[mydimples6]

Thank you all so much for your support!!!!!! And, the legal advice! I have had a hard time finding a employment lawyer...but I will look harder and give them a call on monday. That is a great idea, I will contact a lawyer then contact HR and go from there. The company I work for is huge, it is in about 6 different states, and has thousands of employees. We also have some sort of hotline that I can call and report my manager....hmmmm. I hadn't thought about that. I don't think that I have a employee handbook handy, but I will call HR and see if I can get one. Thank you all so much, you have no idea how much your support and prayers mean to me. It is so great to talk to others who know exactly how I feel...literally. :smile tee

The stress of all of this is making my IC go crazy of course...ugh. :rant: please continue to pray for me.

[Babs RN]

Well, Betsy pretty much covered the info I was about to give you(great job B)so I'll just add that I am a Director of Nursing with hire/fire/supervisory powers and my own IC issues and am here for support if you need it. May the fleas of a thousand camels
Hugs,
Barb:)

[jesamyn]

I am so sorry to hear about what a horrible situation that is! How can your boss try to restrict the # of times you use the restroom in a given period? That sounds like some sort of retaliation to me, which is HIGHLY illegal in the workplace. You are on the right track seeking legal council. I understand your position, I recently voluntarily resigned from my job because my boss was such a harasser..he basically called me into his office every other day to tell me that I had a "resistant attitude" because I would not do his dirty work for him (lying to get money for him, doing his personal favors, etc.)..so I took my trusty folder of all the emails where he blatantly forced me to lie for him to hr..I doubt they will do anything about him, but at least my ic will not flare anymore because of him!!! Hang in there and good karma will come to you!:angel:

[Julie B]

Hi mydimples06,

Does your company have an EAP (employee assistance program)? The EAP for my company (my full time job, not NutraConsults) has a variety of resources. EAPs in general often have a counseling service where you can ask various questions about your situations. Many also offer free legal consultations and reduced attorney fees.

If you have an EAP, it may pay in more ways than one to see what yours has to offer.

[Bessie]

That is awful how they are treating you. You have been given some wonderful advice and I would take it. Get you a lawyer and don't let them push you around. It always amazes me how little compassion people have until the law steps in.

[GriffsMommy]

I would talk to your HR dept. My boss is pretty understanding about the number of times I go to a bathroom in a day and I'm on the phone all day with members. I did provide a note from a dr that I needed to be able to use the bathroom as often and whenever needed.
When I went to HR to fill out the paperwork for FMLA the head of HR pretty much told me that I didn't have to tell my boss anything if I didn't want to except say it was for FMLA and that was it because it's considered personal health info so if I don't want her to know she doesn't have to. I had already been very upfront with her though so I felt no problem with it.
If my boss would have given me problems about how many times I was going to the bathroom I would have gone to HR though and had them deal with it. I can not imagine only going 3 times in my 8 hour shift. Somtimes I go 3 times in 15 minutes! I hope you get this resolved because that is just not fair! :grouphug:

[mydimples6]

Well, Betsy pretty much covered the info I was about to give you(great job B)so I'll just add that I am a Director of Nursing with hire/fire/supervisory powers and my own IC issues and am here for support if you need it. May the fleas of a thousand camels
Hugs,
Barb:)

THANK YOU SO MUCH!!!! I really appreciate it!

[mydimples6]

Thanks, you all are so wonderful! I feel so blessed to have you all to talk with!

Oh, I forgot to mention that I told her several months ago that I needed 2 days off for surgery, she asked me if I really needed it...I just about said, no...I am doing it for fun...UGH! :cussing: She told me that I only had enough pto for one of the days, and could I put it off for another month! And, so I called my uro and rescheduled it...man I should have just went to hr then. Also, she has stated that we have to use our breaks to go to the bathroom, because some of us are taking advantage of our bathroom and break time. :toilet: No one ever takes breaks...not even for lunch!

I will be honest, I am afraid to loose my job. It is a scary prospect...you know.

[dverba]

Is IC considered a disablility? Who decides that, my doctor?

[Claredale]

From what I have read, please correct me if I am wrong, IC is a disability per American's with Disabilies Act, so as long as your doctor has documented that you have IC, then you are protected under the ADA.

I too had a horrible manager several years ago before my interstim. She tried everything she could to make me miserable. That was when FMLA first started, so she didn't know the guidelines. When I went through my DMSO treatments, my doctor could only do mine on alternating Thursday and Fridays, so I missed 1 to 2 days a week for 6 weeks during my treatment. I asked my doctor about it and he filled out the FMLA papers so that I wouldn't have occurances for each of those weeks. My boss tried to deny my FMLA, but she didn't have a choice...I have to say I loved it since she was so mean. I met the requirements and she couldn't put anything in my file. I went through 3 sessions with DMSO (which didn't help me, but I tried). My manager still tried several things to get me in trouble, but I did my job as required, so she couldn't use that avenue. In the meantime, I applied for another job with another company and I got it. It was better pay, and I had the option of working from home. My manager, another female, was very understanding about my chronic illness.

I will never forget the look on my prior manager's face when I turned my notice in. I told my husband that she had the employee handbook on her desk and I know she was trying to find something to "make me pay", but I beat her to the "punch" and was gone before she could do anything, which I don't think she had a leg to stand on anyway.

I pray that you find a great attorney and your employer doesn't get away with anything!

T83

[mydimples6]

Thank you!

Today, I contacted an attorney, they told me they did not do that kind of law, but recommended some attorneys that do. And that I should call the labor commission first. So, I spoke with the labor commission and they told me to get a letter from my doctor stating that I have to have time off for doctors appointments and procedures, and accommodations for the restroom and so forth. Give it to my HR dept, that she is not required to know the circumstances or details of my illness. So, I go to the doctor tomorrow, I pray that he will work with me. It kind of scares me because he works for the same company, but different location.

It is also comforting to hear that IC is covered under ADA. I cannot imagine what you all went through before it was. Thank you so much for fighting for our rights!

[mary124]

I really hope this settles things with your employer-- as I can't believe you are having problems. (well, maybe I can, I know with one of my Supervisors I did at first, not to the extent like you are though, just with going to the doctors - my supervisor was up there in age and seemed like she was never sick and here I was in my late 30's or early 40's and going to the doctors all the time- so I talked to the doctor (new Uro at the time and he wrote her a note told her in more detail in what she needed to know and said if she needed anything else to call him). Boy, did that shut her up. Until after I had open heart surgery and then we started all over. Thankfully, she retired a few years ago and I have had some very understanding supervisors since then. I still keep current notes from doctors in my HR files and in my own personal files so that if I have any problems I can just take them out.

[mydimples6]

Today was my appointment with my uro, he signed a letter for me to give to my employer. It states that I need to be able to go to the bathroom an unlimited amount of times. That I have a chronic bladder condition, and I will need time off of work for doctors appointments, and days off for my disability. Also, he is going to sign my FMLA papers too! I spoke with HR and they are faxing them to me, effective immediately so that by boss cannot give me a warning. I explained the situation to HR and they told me that they would have me under the protection of FMLA! :smile tee :woohoo:

Also, I am going to have the Interstim put in. I have done a lot of research on it, thanks for all of the info on this site as well as links so that I could easily do that research! I go in next wednesday to have the trial, and if all goes well, they will do the 2nd stage the following wednesday! My uro was very patient, informative in answering all of my questions. I had a list...lol.

I just really want to thank you all again for how much support and understand that you all have given me! It makes me cry to know that you all care so much! Thank you all for all that you do to be there for others! It means more to me that I can ever express! :kiss:

[Dreamlove15]

I can't tell you how much this sounded like my last employer. I actually just left without saying anything. I have never left a job without saying anything in my life and I had worked here for almost 2 years. I got sick in the begiining of august and from then on they were not considerate. I asked them to not work me over 20 hours because I was ill and the refused. I had doctors notes stating I could drink water whenever because of UTI risks and that I needed bathroom breaks. I was told that I could not because it would give the other employees the idea that they could do it. I just shook it off but was fed up. I then just got so mad because everytime I was sick they wanted a doctors note. My mom called the labor board...but in the end ...I lost because I just left...it wasnt worth it. but I know what they did was illegal. Im glad you stood up.

[mydimples6]

Believe me, I have been tempted to walk out so many times. I have really good insurance and I think that is what keeps me from doing just that.

You know since getting IC my whole life has changed, I know that you all have gone through this as well. One of the hardest things to take is that most people have a hard time seeing us as ill, because we look fine and there is just not enough common knowledge of the disease. Like most of you, I had never heard of it until I found out I had it.

[Claredale]

MyDimples, I am so glad for you that your doctor is cooperating. It definitely brings a since of relief.

I have been working back at FedEx since June. When I first started back (after almost 8 years) I told my manager that I had a chronic disease that was requiring me to go to the doctor every month since we were working with different meds at that time. She said that she understood and that she had a chronic illness as well. I have been off sick for 1 day since then. When I called her that morning, I was in a major flare and had been out of pain meds since midnight that night. I had muscle relaxers and a couple valium, but that was it, so I just couldn't work. My appt was the next day. She was so understanding and told me to not worry about a thing. I went back to work the next day and she saw me come in. She tried to get me to go back home since I looked horrible, but I told her that I would do better if I wasn't home and thinking about it. I got a few things that I had to get done and My appt was at 11:00 anyway. I always try to make it around lunch time. She told me not to come back after the appointment, which I couldn't have anyway. He had given me a shot to help my pain meds work faster. He fussed at me for not calling, but I thought I would be fine for just one day. I didn't realize that I had forgotten to get my depo shot, so that is why my pain was worse than usual. The next week or so, my boss asked me to write down what was wrong with me so she could tell her daughter. Her daughter is a nurse practioner and she has a daughter that is 3 that was having major bladder issues. She had surgery in September after they finally diagnosed her with bladder reflux. Even my manager's daughter being a NP for a gynocologist, wasn't familiar with IC. She is now aware of it, so maybe she can help people with our symptoms now.