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View Full Version : Feeling trapped and wanting to give up


ICKate
10-15-2007, 12:34 PM
I'm new to the forums. I've been a lurker for awhile, but I'm at a point in my life where I could really use a little encouragement from other people dealing with the chronic pain and restrictions from living with IC because right now, I'm miserably depressed.

A little history
I was diagnosed with Interstitial Cystitis in November 07. I've been exercising regularly and following an IC-friendly diet for the past year to avoid taking any IC meds. (I try not to take pills when there's a holistic way to take care of the problem.) So while I do take anti-depressants (Cymbalta 60MG daily), I don't take anything for IC.

A big problem
It's been almost a year since I was diagnosed and changed the way I live my life. And up until the past month or so, I've been totally on top of my diet and have stayed away from bladder-flaring ingredients. But my depression has kicked in so hardcore that I've been cheating on my diet to try and make myself feel better. We all know how quickly that can turn into a nightmare.

But I come from a Mexican family where spicy, flavor-filled food is the reward for everything. Good grades? Let's make tamales together! Just got a promotion at work? Let's celebrate with a few Coronas and grandma's famous sausage cheese dip! Now that I can't have any of those "reward foods" I feel empty. I had to go to a family function over the weekend, and I couldn't eat anything there. Food is a huge part of bonding for my family and nothing really fills that void for me. So I get more depressed.

Bring out the straight jacket
I'm an alcoholic. I'd been sober for almost a year and a half before I was diagnosed with IC. I remained sober until my boyfriend's birthday - 4 months after my diagnosis. Then I decided it'd be fine to have "just a glass of wine" to make up for not being able to eat any of the food he had for the party guests. Some people can limit their alcohol just fine. Alcoholics cannot. Now I'm drinking all the time. I know I need to stop, but my boyfriend is a drinker, too. So it's not easy. I stick to light beers because they don't seem to affect my bladder as much, but I doubt that really makes a difference when you're having 7-9 beers per sitting at least twice a week.

I'm a smoker. Again, this is something I'd quit months before diagnosis. But once I started hitting the bars again, I went right back to smoking 5-7 cigs a day.

I have shingles. When I don't take care of myself, my upper lip occasionally breaks out into some of the most painful blisters you can ever imagine. Think about what it feels like to get a fever blister. Now think about getting 5 paper cuts on that fever blister and sitting under a fan with menthol rubbed into it. That's what these shingles feel like. Not to mention, I look like a monster and everyone assumes I have some kind of disgusting STD.

So now what?
I'm getting so depressed that my body is shutting down. I have no energy anymore. My entire body aches all the time. Even taking anti-depressants, it's hard for me to get out of bed every morning and keep myself from falling asleep as soon as I get home. I'm at this "What's the point?" point in my life with the diet and exercising because even when I do it, I'm still dealing with pain. Sadly, my tolerance for pain meds is ridiculously high because I used to abuse them (if only I'd known in high school how much that would backfire on me in my adulthood ... actually, I probably still would've taken them. I was a little buggar), so the amount I'd have to take to feel an effect would probably put me into a coma.

CLEARLY I've got to stop drinking. I need to quit smoking (I actually tried Chantix but had to get off of it b/c it caused seizures and nightmares for me). I need to exercise and eat right. And I probably should talk to a therapist about everything before I do something stupid.

I know these things. But I'm so depressed, I don't want to do any of them. I need the support from other people going through this same thing. Am I crazy? How do you find happiness in your lives?

katjonez
10-15-2007, 12:58 PM
:hi: kate,
I feel for you. I know it is hard but that is what this place is for so VENT as much as you want

katjonez
10-15-2007, 01:05 PM
I'm still here, I just wanted to get a reply in for you as quick as I could.
You know, the only thing guarenteed in life is change, lets all hope and pray for a cure !! some time soon !!!!!!:bow:
What state are you in ?
I have had IC for many years but only found out what it was about 7 years ago. I have only met 3 other people with this disease in person. So I love being able to talk and hear about what other people are feeling and doing to try to help themselves. I have learned so much in the past month or so. The most important thing I think I've learned is that I AM NOT CRAZY ( and neither are you !!) I see you are newer to this than I am so just keep logging in and posting.

Sally939
10-15-2007, 01:36 PM
I am so sorry you have to deal with all of this. We are all here for you. I know how you feel about some of it. I gave up all my favorate foods, cigs and my treasured diet cafeen free coke all the day I go told they think I have IC. I use to drink a good amount. I drank socially but before I moved I went out five days a week and they almost always involved drinking. What is worse is that I like girly drinks. They always involved OJ. I moved to my home town and seem to go out less now. Not drinking is not a huge battle for me right now. I know you know this but if you are food sensative you really need to stop this stuff. Even a little can really really hurt. You might not be so depressed if you were not hurting so bad. Regardless, I understand how depressing this all can be. It is hard but you are strong. You can find happiness again.

ICKate
10-15-2007, 01:42 PM
katjonez - I'm in TX. And I'm really relieved to know this is a place where I can vent and be around people who actually GET what I'm going through. There's something comforting about knowing you all go through the same thing and that I'm not alone out there. Once I get my head on straight, I hope I can help other people get through the rougher times.

Curl333 - I know you're right. But I've gotten stuck in a total downward spiral. Now I'm having a hard time figuring out which thing to fix because I've got so much crap going on at the same time.

Charisse
10-15-2007, 02:18 PM
I can sympathize with you. You are definitley not alone. I thought I was going to die when I had to give up coffee. Literally I started crying in Whole Foods one day because I just wanted a cup of coffee. I had to give up alcohol a long time ago due to my stomach problems. It seems so unfair to get this dang disease and then be told you can't comfort yourself with food like we are so used to doing. Just know you are not alone!

ICNDonna
10-15-2007, 02:47 PM
The best advice I can think of is to get yourself into an AA group. I'm sure you know they have a very successful program and you do need to get off the booze and back on the wagon.

And please do think about taking some medications to help with your IC. Sometimes that's the only way to go. Once you get back on track hopefully you will feel better.

Donna

Berkshire Road
10-15-2007, 04:54 PM
Donna is right, AA is a good idea. We here can -- and want to, and will -- support you in your battle with IC, but you also need real, live connections with people who understand your battles with addiction and food. I'm not saying that no one here understands those things, and maybe you'll get some PM's from the people who do. But you know you are in self-destruct mode, and the best thing to do is reach out for the help that's out there. Once you feel a little more in control of those things, you'll probably feel more able to deal with the IC.

I also want to say, I don't mean to sound harsh here. I feel terrible about the circumstances you are in. I wish I could help, and you will certainly be in my thoughts. Just hang on. There is hope out there, and you need to reach out and hold on to it.