What am I doing wrong

[sickofmybladder]

Hi everyone -

I have been having a hard time getting my symptoms under control - am following the IC diet - and doing the best I can - I haven't had a "true" flare in probably 3 weeks but constant pain. I really think most of my problem is from the PFD but the doc is not ready to send me to PT yet.....well since my surgery in August I have only done the deed 3 times (my poor husband) - well last night (#3) I felt ok so I thought why not :loco: - 3 hours later a full blown horrible flare hit and now I'm at work dying ( was "ok" this a.m. but now it's back big time)--

What to do? I've read the tips and have used them - the actual "act" is uncomfortable but not unbearable but this latest flare is enough for me to say never again :tsk: - (not that I really can or should but you know what I mean).

Any additional suggestions? Does anyone know why it causes such a flare so long after?

[Claredale]

That is where B & O suppostories help me the best.

Tracey

[SharonA]

:hmm: Since the pain came on three hours later, it may be a good idea to rule out an infection. So a trip to your doctor may be in order. While you are there, talk to the doctor about this happening and see if there is any med that could be given to you to help after sex. Maybe Pyridium (OTC = Azo)? It helps numb the bladder. Valium can help calm muscle spasms. Of course you probably already know that heat can help with bladder pain and ice can help cool things down if you are having any burning in the vulva.

I am so sorry that you are suffering so after doing what was meant to be a pleasurable activity. I know you were kidding about never having sex again but remember that sex is so much more than intercourse. There are many other ways of making love.

(((Hugs)))

[megancolleen]

I'm the same way--the flare doesn't hit me until up to 24 hours after sex. I find that the more uncomfortable I am during the act, the worse the flare will be. I'm much less likely to flare if we do things very slowly and gently (and with lots of lubrication.)

[ettegirb21]

Hi there. I'm not sure why it hurts so much after. I have a lot of pain during sex and for a couple days after...My poor husband, it's been since FEBRUARY...yes, about 8 months since we've had sex...it's weird, when we first were together, I was able to have sex daily, but as I got more infections/flare ups from sex, things seemed to get worse. Wish I could be of some help, but as you can see...I'm in desperate need of some myself. Wishing you relief, Brigette

[lili]

My husband has been so patient and understanding during my illness. I told him early on that it was important to me that we maintain a great sex life so we do a lot of oral and manual. Absolutely no complaints and it has improved our sex life just by adding a level of variety. Also I don't swallow or spit, I get out of the way at the crucial moment and that allows me to enjoy pleasuring him much more.

[GriffsMommy]

I personally find anytime I have sex I'm going to have some level of flare up afterwards. Hubby claims he notices my pain is worse for several days after sex. I don't know if I have noticed that pattern because my symptoms are not under control so I have pain most days. I have wondered many times if sex will always equal pain and for the time being I think it is yes. I take a pain pill before, take AZO before and then use the heating pad after. We had sex last night and did alot of stuff around and about town. I woke up at 2am in horrible pain but thank goodness lots of meds and I'm better.

[BBB]

Sick of my Bladder ~ and everyone else....

Sharon A., I love the idea that sex is so much more than intercourse. I admire your openess when you post on sex hurting.

I know everyone is different. But please try the intervaginal valium before and after. This was very benefical for me. I felt so hopeless before trying it. My Doctor just has me crush a 10 mg. pill and mix it with my lubricant (my husband likes this part). I continue for the next day every four hours. I suffer little or no side effects.

Maybe it is worth a try?

Best wishes to everyone with this issue.

[sickofmybladder]

thank you everyone for your responses - to be honest this might be the hardest part of IC - I just miss that part of my life so much -

I will ask the doc about the valium sup. next time Thanks again

[clouddrifter]

okay, what are B&O suppositories? and which doctor do you see to get them and the valium that you crush? Would that be the gynecologist? Or the urologist? or a General Practitioner? I've been to so many doctors (we all probably have haha) I just don't know who to ask for what, but I would REALLY like to try that from the way you talk about it.

[ettegirb21]

Never heard of intervaginal valium...can someone give me the 411?

[BBB]

Inter-vaginal Valium is a treatment I got from my Pain Management doctor. Originally he would have the valium compounded into a suppository for women to insert. Well one weekend a patient of his forgot to call in her refill and decided to crush a 10 mg. tablet and mix it with a little KY jelly and insert it that way. Sure enough it worked just as well for her as the suppository form. Therefore, that is how he is prescribing it now because it is much less expensive.

He usually prescribes 10 to 20 mg. depending on the person. I really like it because it does not effect my system (make me too relaxed and sleepy) as much as taking it by mouth.

I am really new to this Board but I have seen it posted in other threads on this site. This is one of my best therapies for PFD (especially for sex with less pain).

I haven't tried the B&O as I just read about them on this site last week. I am going to ask my Doc about those at my next appointment.

[ettegirb21]

I have a ton of pain during/after intercourse. How far before sex do yo recommend doing this? I take valium orally as well, but if this works better, I'll give it a shot.

[BBB]

He suggets one hour before!

Have fun.....