Guy with IC looking for a date

[Cadyfatcat]

Hey I am a 22 guy with IC and PFD. I self diagnosed myself with IC in march of this year and have been receiving treatment since. I am a lot better, however, I am still not in the mindset to throw myself into the regular dating scene again. I am sure you guys are familiar with the awkwardness of trying to explain IC, and not being able to go out to a bar and party like everyone else. So I think it would be cool to date or have a relationship with someone familiar with all the issues related to IC.

I live just north of New York City, but I go to school in the Lehigh Valley PA. I drive between the two regularly and am not averse to a little driving here and there. So if you are anywhere near me, and you’re in anyway interested, PM me or something.

-Alex

[kuntrygurl78]

I live about 5 states away, and Im getting married in a week. I just wanted to wish you luck!:bunny:

[glassd18]

Hi Alex,

My husband and I share a common disease (non life threatening if treated properly), and it does and can make a difference to have someone who understands what you are going through. I hope someone in your area responds to you soon. Good luck!!

[mary124]

aLEX- I don't live anywhere near you- (I live out in Texas) but I wish you luck in finding someone. This disease isn't easy to live with, but with proper treatment, you can and will survive. I have raised 2 kids (5 total if you count my puppy girls and husband- he's the biggest kid of all); have worked a full time job thru this all; plus have various other illnesses. There are days I do not want to work but I get up and get going, bosses are amaze that I'm at my desk working, but I have a desk job so when I'm not feeling well, I can sit and do computer work and whatever and when I do feel better, then I can file and give it my all. I have had IC for at least 17 years- (plus at least 7 years-thats how long it took the doctors to dx me. I had problems even before that too but not enough to keep going to the doctors but during that 7 years it was like every 3 to 4 months I was at one doctor or another and they really couldn't figure it out!
Anyway, I wish you luck like I said. Sure you will find some one with or with this, my husband thankfully doesn't have this, in fact up till recently, wasn't sick a day in his life till I made him go to the doctor for his 50th birthday, now he has a host of illness, but he knows that I will stick with him, as he has with me.

[Kara29]

Alex,

I live in Central NY, but I'm Married. Best of Luck to you in your quest! You never know maybe someone will pop up. Keep checking the board. It may happen when you least expect it!! :smile tee

Well Wishes,

Kara

[beandip]

I am married with one kid, but my sympathies to you. Except that you will find a girlfriend who really loves you for you and not for something else. My husband seems to be OK with less sex, he's a little older than me so that worked out.

Hang in there!

Colleen

[Tinkerbell23]

Hey, I live in ny, but im in a relationship and i just wanted to let you know that people are open minded about things. I was with my boyfriend for 3 months when his brother was killed in a tragic car accident, then right after i started feeling sick all the time and i was told i had ic and for whatever reason i went into this depression or something over it. and he and i got through his brother and my illness together even though we just started dating. we both could have very easily said "see ya" for valid reasons. its been 2 years now and i just found out i have endometriosis which might make it difficult to have kids and i told him he could leave and he said no, we'd figure it out together. ic is not the type of problem where you have to say "hi nice to meet you, i have ic". my friend has crohn's disease and dates all the time and he's always excusing himself to use the bathroom, its part of his life. go out there and be who you are. everyone has one issue or another. don't seek out ic people or other people with similar issues, go for someone who shares the same interests as you. you should be with someone who likes you for who you are. and if you are ever in the long island area, i know some nice girls who understand the disease because they are my best friends. good luck!
-Jenn

[Julie_Anne]

I live about 2 hours from you and while I'm in a relationship right now, I'm definitely looking for a new friend! Look me up sometime. =)

[sphinx]

Hi Alex, I'm married and not "looking" lol, but wanted to wish you luck......the *right person* won't care what is wrong with you......my poor husband, sheesh he has to put up with all my ills, haha! But it does help to have some common ground, both hubby and I have sufferred from depression most our lives, in fact met on a depression support group online back in 1998. We started out as just friends going through similar stuff and it grew into more. I hope you can find that! :smile tee

[Cadyfatcat]

Wow, I had no idea anyone was posting any responses on this thread…I have not been receiving any email notifications…whatever.

Thank you everyone for all the encouraging words.

I guess the reason I’m somewhat reluctant to throw myself into the regular dating populace again is because of my last relationship. I was in a relationship with a beautiful, intelligent, fun-and all around just amazing girl for three years. I was totally in love with her, but after about six months of suffering with what was then an undiagnosed condition she dumped me, right after we returned from a trip to Europe we went on together.

Its sort of difficult trying to find someone at my school, since the entire social scene revolves around drinking. But I am confident that will change once I get back to New York after I graduate. Right now I am having a good time being single but sometimes I just get a little lonely and miss the intimacy of a relationship. But it’s all good for now:) . Thanks again everyone, and maybe all of us twenty something’s in the area should get together sometime if not individually then at some sort of group event.

[petrie86]

Alex,

I'm 21, Female and currently in a relationship however i'm pretty close to you. I live in bergen coutny, nj. Which is borderline Pearl River, Ny or Nyack, Ny. If u know where that is. I'm sure u do... however I hope everything is going well. I'm a good listener and a good friend if u ever want to talk pm me! I'm close and the idea of all of us 20 something year old should get together and hang out. It would be a good idea!

Rachel

[BuffyFan]

I live in Enola, PA...and yeah, I'm single :rolleyes: IC & other conditions can put a real damper on things as far as relationships go. But IC or whatever else does not define who we are. We just have to adapt & deal & if someone else out there loves us enough to do the same, than I think you've found your true soulmate :angel: So good luck Alex & best wishes...

Alisha xoxo :smile tee

[packardaMSU]

Hey! I just read your post because I haven't been on the boards in about a year...I was going through a remission but now things are back.

I am 21 and I know a lot of what you're going through. When I was first diagnosed with IC it was early in my sophomore year of college and the boyfriend I had then just didn't understand why I wouldn't want to have sex or why I had to pee all the time. It was very frustrating...and I definitely understand trying to fit into the party scene, I hate going to the bar and not drinking - I love beer and I love the bar atmosphere.

Although my current boyfriend doesn't have any health problems, he is very supportive and understanding in a way that is different than just sulking with me when I'm having a hard time. Although some people may find it cute or romantic to have someone that gladly accepts that you can't have sex all the time or you're cranky some days...that's not what I wanted at all. Once you do find someone, there are a lot of books on sex with a disability that are definitely worth checking into. I don't want to sound like sex is the most important element to a relationship but sometimes when you can't have it it gets so frustrating that it stands out so much.

I hope you find someone, and there are SO many women out there with IC, more than we think. So try finding a local support group or see if your college has one. Good Luck!

[alycat]

I'm 18 and living in WA, and I agree, the dating scene is hard with a chronic illness. I'm not looking forward to turning 21 because I wont' be able to drink with my friends, either that or I'll always be the designated driver. My last boyfriend didn't care about the fact that I had an illness, and not in a good way. I agree that you have to find someone who has similar interests as you, but with a disease like IC, you also need someone who can support that.

I wish you luck on the dating scene, and don't worry. You'll find someone who understands your illness and can help you get through even the worst of days.

[alabama_worley]

I'm 21, live in Montreal.

Try posting a pic?

[Cadyfatcat]

probably should have done this before...here is one that my mother just took for a holidays card:

http://www.freeimagehosting.net/uploads/791c22057c.jpg (http://www.freeimagehosting.net/)

I'll get some more up soon

alex

[yvette]

Alex you're a doll! I'm sure you'll find some gal with or without health issues to accept you as you are. What I've learned is that EVERYBODY has something going on with them sooner or later. Or they have family members with stuff going on. :)

[Briza]

WOWSA:smile tee You take a nice pic!
Pick me! Pick me! Pick me!!! I'm single!!
But alas, I am in Texas, and just old enough to be your mother!:(
You better keep an eye on your pm box...I'm sure its overflowing by now, Alex!

[bluetart]

hey I am 20 and Live in Me but taken, good luck. I am not dating someone with health issues, he dose not understand but listens too me and believes me. when I tell him I feel bad, he excepts that as the truth. I try and be strong for him and step out of my confort zone... away from the bathroom....lol. I know that IC affects the drinking scene which is big in college but there are a lot of people even in college that don't drink. Maybe you could join a club and meet new people. I am sure that there are plenty of people out there that can be excepting of IC and want to date you. Besides you have a very nice smile and that will draw people in.

[Cadyfatcat]

thanks everybody for the encouraging words. I originally wrote this post over a year ago, and I am in a much better place now physically and mentally. I have dated a little over the past year but am currently single. I still think it would be great to share a relationship with someone with IC, so the offer is still on the table.

[SandyRN]

Without being too forward...you are a real cutie...LOL I wouldn't think you'd have a hard time finding a date at all! :) I really hope you find someone to share your time with. I know that it's important to have things in common with the person you are dating. I just wanted to wish you good luck as well!! Ya know you're gonna have to let us know if you found a date after this! LOL....you don't have to tell us who, just that you got a date! I know I'm not alone in being curious, and hopeful for you!!!

Hugs, Sandy

[amaranthe]

WOW! You ARE a hottie! Though I am married too, :( I do have some incredibly hot friends, such as our own dear, Briza! :smile tee (Too bad she lives in TX!)

I must agree that you had best keep a close eye on your pm box now, because I am sure it will be overflowing soon!

On a related note, I visit another message board occaisonally (But you dont look sick), and 2 people there just announced that they met thru the boards and are getting married! So, you never know!

Good luck on your search! Hope you meet someone soon!

Hugs,
Amaranthe

[Briza]

Amaranthe, you flattter me too much lol; however it is not the distance but the age difference that keeps me from hopping on the next plane headed to NY!

Alex, best of luck to you! I am happy to hear that you are doing much better with your IC and such since you first posted this thread. That in itself is a testament to IC and to all new and old members here on ICN that sometimes it just takes TIME (among other things) to start feeling better. It was the same for me. Best wishes and I hope that you continue to progress in the right direction...hopefully many symptom-free days for you now and in the future!

Boo hoo, lol, how I wish I were still in my twenties!!! Live it up while you can, Alex, these are the the best years of your life. Yes, the 30's have some plus-es and advantages, but your twenties, those years should be fun fun fun, and something you will never get back. :kiss: (sorry, couldn't keep myself from sending you a long distance one via ICN)!

[Cadyfatcat]

Wow I am really flattered by the reception my picture is getting – thanks – really, it is a confidence booster.

I will definitely keep all of your posted. Nothing concrete was really materialized yet, but we will see.

I am beginning to have a lot more fun than my IC had previously allowed. I didn’t even go out last new years, but this one was absolutely awesome and one of the best times I’ve had in a while. Briza, IC has definitely given me more perspective on life, and I know I should be having the time of my life in my twenties, IC makes it hard, but I am learning to let it influence me less and less.

Thanks sandy and amaranthe and briza for the hugs – and here are some :kissing: back for everyone

[leelee88]

Hey Alex!!

Just wanted to put my 2 cents in here.. You are a very handsome man!!

I found my hubby online ...He is the best thing that has ever happened to me.. Also one of my best friends met her hubby on a online site ..

And someone from this site has met her future hubby online!! SO this can happen:smile tee

I wish you the best hun.. And never give up! There is someone out there for everyone!!

[icgennifer]

Alex,

You are just so handsome! If I wasn't in a relationship I would totally ask you out! I live about 1 1/2 hours from Westchester, NY and I live close to PA too!

I was recently diagnosed in November - you said you are doing much better now.. is there a medication that's been working well for you?! I'm still struggling to find one that works for me.

[dansfever]

Alex,

Best of luck and dating is hard enough not having anything wrong with you but having IC and other things does make it a little harder. The way I explain it to people is take a butcher knife to your bladder and thats what it looks like it's basically a perminate bladder infection. excuse my spelling I know it's really bad.I would see you but I'm in MI and I have a child but I could always use more friends. Isn't that kindda way you join a forum is for support and friendships? But to say the least I am also older then you by 2-3 yrs. So I'm an old lady in my eyes I can't how do you kids say it these days kick it with the youngins lol. I wish you the best of luck you ever want to chat look me up.

Veronica

[Briza]

Veronica
Some men DO like older women;)..:smile tee
Oh, I read your other post and I am glad to see that things have progressed a bit and that you are taking some classes!!! That is great news...nothing like getting an A+ on an assignment to boost your confidence. Much luck to you!! Keep at it!

[Rivet Kitty]

I'm glad this thread got taken up again!

Even being 22 and married I can still say you're super cute! If you lived in Los Angeles I'm sure I'd be trying to play cupid, lol. I really think that it's awesome you're getting out and doing stuff -that was a big hurdle for me. I can second the part that it's hard not having a social life at any age, but particularly when you're young.

But like others said, I'm quite sure you're not going to have a hard time finding a girl with or without IC. And I'm sure she'll pop up when you're least expecting it! :smile tee

Send me a PM though if you want to be facebook or myspace buddies! New friends are always awesome! :D

[mary124]

aLEX: If I were 25 years younger, not married and live a whole lot closer (live in Austin, Texas) than I would gladly go out on the town with you.
As my niece would say "he's hot!!

[Briza]

aLEX: If I were 25 years younger, not married and live a whole lot closer (live in Austin, Texas) than I would gladly go out on the town with you.
As my niece would say "he's hot!!

Hahahaha
Mary, you wanna make a roadtrip up north with me(as soon as it defrosts up there, that is!) and kidnap Alex? Just kidding, Alex...unless you would prefer to live in Texas...weather's been great down here!

We're all still anxiously awaiting more pix that you promised!!:) But I guess with all the outstanding responses you've gotten you may be figuring that one pic was more than enough :lmao: and now you may be too scared to post more for fear of kidnap by two cowgirls from Texas...just in case, better get yourself a pair of boots and a cowboy hat! ;)

[mary124]

Briza: Lets go get him, cowgirl!! -- but we really need to wait till the snow/ice melts away--what April or so? I HATE the cold weather here and it really doesn't get that cold. Right now I'm sitting at my desk with a sweater top on and my shawl.

I already told my husband that come April or whenever that I'm gone to NY/NJ due to some younger man...my husband said that I would never last out there in the cold - I told him that I'm hoping it will warm up by then.
If not, you and i will make a fast trip out there and bring him here and show him how "real Texans" live!!)

[Briza]

Mary, you told your husband????!!! You brave!!:biglaugh:

[mary124]

Briza: I told him while I was on the phone with him--he was at home and I am at work so about an hour drive..... I figure that he can't hurt me from where he is.....but I will find out when I get home!!

(see I'm not that brave!)

Either way, my husband loves me-- he even told me that just because I'm married that i can't look at another guy).

[Briza]

Ok, well then you drive, while I look!!! Will be like Thelma and Louise...maybe I'll get lucky like Thelma and while I'm looking see something like a young Brad Pitt at some truck stop between here and there..Like your niece says, Brad Pitt is HOT, in THAT movie, boots, hat, and...well was there anything else???? :smile tee That's what I'll be looking for...you just keep your eyes on the road, Louise, and don't you go drivin' off any cliffs!:tsk:

We may not make it as far as New York, so you just might be safe CadyFatCat!:lmao: Depends on how ole Louise here drives...and what I see along the way;)

[mary124]

hey, if he looks as good as his picture....I might get there in record time, so hold on to your pants, Thelma!!

Are we having fun with this??? I hope we are not embarassing or making him blush--as for me, I'm too old to blush and get embarassed.
Better go and get back to work for awhile.....

[Briza]

I dunno...but we may get booted out of this forum...it is the twentie's forum, after all:biglaugh:

[kuntrygurl78]

I think you guys are hilarious! Ive had fun keeping up with this thread. I just hope the poor guy doesnt get an ego! His head just might swell just a wee bit.:biglaugh:

[dansfever]

It's ok if his head swells a bit cause he needs it. And who knows maybe they are helping him to get other women. Man I want to go on a road trip (stupid kids always get in the way....lol stupid babies..lol). It's not that cold in Michigan yesterday it was only a high of -30 I think or that was our night cold. It was so cold yesterday that if your nose was dripping it froze instintaniasly. It really hurt when it did that..lol had to go to school and that happened.:hmm:

Veronica

[mary124]

Briza: We are in our 20's....just maybe we have to double that?? :biglaugh:
How's the weather in Houston?? here in the Austin Area its really nice....70's -I have most of my windows open.

Kuntrygurl78: I'm having fun too....When I was in my 20's...I was going to school and then got married and having kids...now since they are young adults (25 and 20) I feel like its my turn now.

[Briza]

Briza: We are in our 20's....just maybe we have to double that?? :biglaugh:
How's the weather in Houston?? here in the Austin Area its really nice....70's -I have most of my windows open.

Kuntrygurl78: I'm having fun too....When I was in my 20's...I was going to school and then got married and having kids...now since they are young adults (25 and 20) I feel like its my turn now.

whew, Louise...glad to see you post...thought maybe that jealous husband of yours had chained you to the bed once you got home from work, to keep us from takin that roadtrip!

Thelma here is about to put on her bikini and go outside and get some sun...just like in the movie!!!
Yep, it is beach weather and gettin hotter by the minute:)

[mary124]

(LOL) Too funny Thelma!
No husband isn't the jealous type....he tells me that I can look but not touch (which isn't much fun)

I hate to break it to you though we really can't take off till after the Legislature(?) is out of session which is June 1;besides, I think by then it will be warm enough for us. Are you going to wait for me, Thelma???? Or are you going to pack up and leave Texas all by yourself and find Brad Pitt all alone.