I want to date a man with prostatitis or IC!

[icnmgrjill]

Okay... I admit. Dating wasn't high on my list in my thirties after my IC was diagnosed. Yes, I dated... but it was so AWKWARD explaining the IC, why I couldn't do certain things and seeing that inevitable "look" on his face.. which showed that he just didn't get it.

But, hey, I'm forty seven and fabulous... and am so ready to date again. Anyone else out there??

Jill

[Briza]

Not quite ready to date, but definitely want to have some more male friends with the potential for dating, and I mean JUST dating, when the time comes.

I've learned my lessons and with the help of over a year of therapy I think I am finally mature enough LOL and strong enough to handle that!

Requires a lot of setting boundaries from day 1, patience, and ability to handle the ups and downs and disappointments that happen for both people involved. Also the ability to open up and just have fun and good company and conversation, and for me, good silence is important, too. :)

I'll be 40 next year, and I, too, have decided I'm fabulous and well, turning 40 means I'm one year closer to retirement:smile tee

[Briza]

Quote from Jill: I want to date a man with prostatitis or IC!

I've often thought that would be a wonderful thing,too....but then you know how men are when they have pain or are sick! :lmao: Just ask SandyRN ;)

[kadi]

For New Year's this year, I did 3 months on eharmony & had some very nice first dates. Things I figured out in the three months....

#1 - Meet at Starbucks (I can get a vanilla bean creme & not look weird), preferably at a Starbucks in a Barnes & Noble (so if the date bombs, at least I can get a good book!) And it's not too much time with the guy if it doesn't start out well....

#2 - Start with a non-food date. One of my dates was to a free Christian concert. A little more fervent than I'm used to, but a nice time. Another one was to the Titanic Exhibit. They gave us cards with passenger names when we went in; sadly we both drowned, but again an ok first date. And I figure a non-food date gives us a chance to get to know each other a little without the strained look & feeling I get navigating food in restaurants.

I stopped my eharmony membership at three months because of a chaotic work situation & then when that got managed, I chickened out (I wasn't at all comfortable with dating before I got IC & now it's even harder!), but am thinking to maybe try it again.

I may redo my profile now that I'm feeling better though, because my health problems impacted how I marked my answers & I was getting matched with men older & more sedentary than I am when I'm feeling ok...
Of course, then I may get matched up with a bunch of bungee-jumping-rock-climbing-windsurfing fanatics, so I don't know.... Hopefully the matching process is more finetuned than that...

The only live (well, you know what I mean, "real time") people I know with IC are married & this is a non-issue for them...
Can't wait to hear your thoughts on this.

Thanks for starting this forum, Jill!

[leelee88]

:lmao: At your Title...


Jill, I have lived by this saying...

It is better to take the chance now and regret it later.
Than not to take the chance and never know.:smile tee

So you go girl!!!

[kuntrygurl78]

I want to wish you all good luck!

Im getting married in a week, and Ive been with my fiance thru the diagnois process. I couldnt imagine being single and trying to find someone with this disease.

Good luck yall!

[mary124]

I too, have been married thru all of this, was dx in 1992 but started having symptoms probably after my first son was born in 1984 on and off till after the second one was born in 1988-- after that we started to get serious about looking into what I have and even then it took over 5 years till I was dx with IC.... If it wasn't my husband who has been with me -- between my IC and my heart surgery and everything else I have been thru I don't know what I would do.

[dancemomof2]

hmmm I have always said I wished hubby had IC for only a day but this will work. Good luck ladies

[sandymarie]

Go for it Jill. You know if anyone deserves happiness, you do. My husband and I are both disabled. We have been thru a lot of hard times together. We have been married for 5 years, had a year recess, and then remarried and have been toghther ever sense. I was sick a good time before he got sick. I was so upset because I had ic and he had a hurt back and could not walk for 6monhs. He is truly a walking miracle, in more ways than one. I pushed him around in a wheelchair with ic and nearly lost him on a downward slope on a sidewalk one day going to the doc. He just took it for granted that I was ok with the ic and I should still be wonder woman. I wished I would have lost him for a while.LOL however before he got over all the trials he went thru with losing his job, all the pain and having to have someone wait on him hand and foot he finally came to his senses and realized. Hey there is such a thing as pain. We get along better than we ever have. People have even commented and ask if we were newlyweds. Maybe in all but one area he would say and I agreed.:rolleyes: Now we just hobble around together and we are best friends. Sometimes the worst things in our lives lead us to the greastest blessings. Ic can surely steal, but God can give it back. Speaking of Sandyrn. She has been a real blessing to me. The statement God, bless the broken road that led me straight to you can really happen. I am believing for you.
We have often wanted to start a couple's support group in our area, but we are both computer illiterate and can't seem to get it all together with our health. Anyhow just wanted to share my story with you and the rest. Sorry this is so long. Maybe I should write a book or did I.:bonk: :smile tee


Be Blessed

JJ:smile tee

[sandramac]

:woohoo: Go for it ladies!!!!!!!!! Good luck to you!
hugs Sandra:cat: :cat: :cat:

[flyingmichael]

I'm new to IC. In fact, I thought I had prostatitis-at least the first two Uro's had thought-it wasn't until I ran across an ex Stanford URO instructor that made the diagnosis. I came down with it 6 weeks ago-it was really bad then now it seems to have calmed down, but a constant problem. Just wanted to say hello. PS I'm single currently a Lt Colonel in the Air Force reserves and planning on returning to American Airlines next year. My email address is flyboydc9@yahoo.com Take care, Michael PS Thank you such a nice job here on the web

[megancolleen]

I don't know, dating a "healthy" partner has its advantages--namely, having someone to take care of you and the household when you're flaring. I don't know about you, but when I'm hurting, the last thing I want to do is comfort/take care of someone else. I'm a cranky couch potato under those circumstances, and it helps having someone who will put up with me and pick up the slack. But it definitely would be nice to be with someone who really, truly understands, so I see where you're coming from.

[rjyoon]

My second husband had to have his colon removed many years ago, and almost died in the process. He had to have reconstructive surgery afterwards. While he doesn't have health issues related to that now, he's a much more understanding partner because of his experiences. He's also 11 years older than I am, which I think helps because he knows what's really important, and what isn't.

[ads]

I agree it would have to be a very special guy with IC or prostatitis because most men can be huge babies when sick! When both partners are sick it can make a relationship extremely difficult. How about a guy with a temp. bout with any kind of chronic pelvic pain, now that would work. They would have enough sympathy, but the ability to be supportive.

ads

Quote from Jill: I want to date a man with prostatitis or IC!

I've often thought that would be a wonderful thing,too....but then you know how men are when they have pain or are sick! :lmao: Just ask SandyRN ;)

[Babs RN]

Since 40 is kinda lurking and I have to re-enter the dating arena, I kinda feel like Jill. Having my first go around be Mr. Picture of Health, You Better Suck It Up and Drive On, it would be nice to have a partner who at the very least has some empathy. Never thought I would be nearing 40 and starting over.

Good luck to everyone...

Barb:hi:

[tigger_gal]

being 41 myself, I have to admit I wish my hubby could feel my pain for a day or 2, then maybe he would have a better understanding.

[glassd18]

I am married, and from my experiences from when my husband is sick: I would pick an understanding well guy over a sick guy anyday. My hubby's a big baby when sick, and moody too!!!!! Not that I'm all that and a bag of chips either!!!!! Someone told me once a long time ago "Only one sick person per bed"!!!! lolololol

I hope someone wonderful comes along because you deserve it!!

[Patrice]

After 8 years of being divorced, and 7 years of IC, at 42 I am almost ready myself. We'll see. I tried eharmony and was browsing through the profiles (not my matches...) and my ex's picture popped up. It freaked me out so much I never tried again!

[yarnia]

I tried eharmony and was browsing through the profiles (not my matches...) and my ex's picture popped up. It freaked me out so much I never tried again!

omg how funny. I would die. Then I would call him and bust him lol

I already did 18 years with someone that always had a bigger pain than I did. I really don't want to play that game again.

[shawpdx1]

HI Im a single guy with IC. 43 Was wondering about how I would go about dating a woman again And how I would explain that I have to self cath to go to the bathroom not very sexy!!!!!!! Damaged goods!!!! Laugh.

[jen74]

Shawpdx1,
I was just curious, have you been Diasgnosed with IC? Do you have retention issues where you cannot pee? I am sorry you are dealing with this. I guess I am very lucky to be married to a great guy. I am pretty sure you will find a woman who will not consider you "damaged goods". One good thing is, women tend to be more sympathetic when it comes to illness, at least alot are. Dont give up, you will find that special someone.
Jen

[shawpdx1]

yes Ive been diganosed with it. I have had 2 distentions my bladder only holds 100cc under distention my bladder is basically useless , 2 botox treatments (Reason why I have to self cath) been to Stanford University in Cal for second opion. on top of 3 other uroligists. Have weekly instills. Ive had it for about 4 years. pain managment, there going to try the interstem in the back nerve I guess. Some days I have to go over 100 times with little to no urine in my bladder yesterday was horrible. Guess there finding men have it alot more then they thought they usually call it cronic prostitious when its actually IC or a combination of both like myself.

[Golden Girl]

My hubby has had Crohns Disease most of his life, with chronic abdominal pain and problems with food. He is pretty stoic for a male. He has been voiding/running to the bathroom, with urgency, at least as frequently as I do for the last few years due to an enlarged prostate. My advice is to date older guys, they all develop prostate problems if they live long enough! He also had a "mild" bladder infection after needing a foley catheter for a few hours following a medical procedure. Hubby asked me "is this like what you went through when you were being diagnosed with interstitial cysitis?" and "you didn't tell me how bad it is". During the time I was having severe problems he would tell me, "I have pain every day too, you get used to it"
He said it was the worst, most irritiating problem he ever had. I also think he had prostatitis for a couple of weeks after his bladder infection (he had pain with sex) but he was too embarassed to tell his female urologist.:loco::loco: