Singles, IC & Support

[icnmgrjill]

Thanks to the suggestion of one of our new users, we have now launched a new section to forum... a great place for IC patients who are single to discuss singlehood, dating, how to meet others and even IC friendly date ideas.

I often catch myself thinking "I'd love to date a man with IC or prostatitis!" Why??? Because we both get it... and can easily plan dates, restaurants, that work for us. No more explaining why that long car ride won't work so well. No more explaining why I can't drink that wine. It would be SO GREAT to date a guy with IC.

So... if you're in NorCal... think of me! I hope you find these forums very supportive, encouraging and helpful. Now, get out there and date!!

Jill :)

[Babs RN]

:) Jill, This is such a great idea and I have thought the same things. Thought I was nuts. Hmmm....how to go about posting about the touchiest part of my life with the IC and the divorce. Chris was the only person I was ever with in anyway--any suggestions to reenter the dating world?

Hugs,
Barb

[Briza]

Thanks, Jill, for creating this forum for us single gals. I think it will be especially helpful for those of us who are recently out of long relationships, because there are still so many emotions involved and it can be really scary, with or without IC, but definitely even more so with IC. I'm a little over a year out of my relationship and while I'm not ready anytime soon to jump into another one, but for that exact reason is why it has made it easier to really focus on trying to form friendships with men, which I haven't had in a long time. You know, just to hang out, chat on the phone, grab a bite to eat. The main thing I've learned through therapy and my own experiences in this past year is to set my boundaries, not only with myself, but very openly with any male friends. Otherwise, all falls apart. At this point I don't even let anything be called a "date." I want nice guy friends that I can get to know over a long period of time before anything is even considered a date. I've made some of those friends now, and sometimes it's hard to keep those boundaries set, on both sides, but I've learned to stick to my guns and having IC actually helps ME from letting things move forward too quickly and allows me to get to know them thoroughly or as much or as little as I care to. Gone are the days when they could charm the pants off of me.:lmao: Sorry, guys:biglaugh:

[Briza]

:) hey Jill and Barb,
Looks like we're the only single women here...any others? ...fess up:)

[TexasHoney]

I have been feeling the same way lately about finding a man with IC. Although if we hit off we would probably be fighting each other over bathroom time. (LOL) Of course as a woman I would spend more time in there regardless. One thing that really gets old when I meet someone new is trying explain when I have to pee so often. Lot's of times I just say I have a weak bladder and leave it at that.

[sweetangel2080]

a great idea to add this section!!
Have just got over a major flareup that lasted a year and kinda now with moderate symptoms now, so looking to get lots of things back on track including meeting mr right!

[Babs RN]

Yay,
Another single person. Now to find those Mr. Wonderfuls out there...I couldn't even imagine a personal ad:

37 yo WF with one shot bladder that makes sex next to impossible seeks empathetic, caring, saint like man who can put up with the great days and the flare days as well. I am a wonderful person who cares deeply and give 110% everyday especially with those I care about. Interested?

LOL:lmao::lmao:Not that I would really put this in or anything.

Just had to give everyone a laugh.

Hugs,
Barb:hi:

[BuffyFan]

I'm single...it's tough with IC. A guy broke up with me over it...well, he didn't want to hang out with me anymore I should say, because I could not & would not sleep with him. IC to far too painful & a guy like that is so not worth it!!
So, here I am...single ol' me :shake:

Alisha xoxo

[carolinawoman]

I can relate to all of you. I've been a single mother for sometime now and find it very liberating to be on my own. However, it would be niice to go out once in awhile. I live in a rural area of NC that doesn't have that many eligible single men, but having IC doesn't help things. When I do meet someone, I'm reluctant to go out for all of the reasons all of you have mentioned. I struggle primarily with pain and urgency, rather than frequency. Sex would be nice, but with the pain I suffer from, it's probably out of the question. Any suggestions would be appreciated. I feel for all of you.

[delie]

Most days I cope with being single but there are days I miss my sexuality, with the pain of IC and the effect tofranil has on my sex drive it seems those days are over. Yes, a man with IC does seem the answer, with my job, pets and friends I manage but sometimes it does feel like there is something missing delie

[ICNJess]

Ditto, Barb...my ex is the only man I have been with.

I'm not really sure that I'm quite ready to enter the dating world...may wait until Isabelle is 10 LOL. In all seriousness though, a guy from my past and I have been talking a lot lately and we're getting close...but I'm nervous and apprehensive for many reasons. My marriage was over quite some time ago, though unofficial...but the thought of going through it all again--and with IC--makes me cringe.

[Lisa_S]

Thanks, Jill, for creating this forum for us single gals. I think it will be especially helpful for those of us who are recently out of long relationships, because there are still so many emotions involved and it can be really scary, with or without IC, but definitely even more so with IC. I'm a little over a year out of my relationship and while I'm not ready anytime soon to jump into another one, but for that exact reason is why it has made it easier to really focus on trying to form friendships with men, which I haven't had in a long time. You know, just to hang out, chat on the phone, grab a bite to eat. The main thing I've learned through therapy and my own experiences in this past year is to set my boundaries, not only with myself, but very openly with any male friends. Otherwise, all falls apart. At this point I don't even let anything be called a "date." I want nice guy friends that I can get to know over a long period of time before anything is even considered a date. I've made some of those friends now, and sometimes it's hard to keep those boundaries set, on both sides, but I've learned to stick to my guns and having IC actually helps ME from letting things move forward too quickly and allows me to get to know them thoroughly or as much or as little as I care to. Gone are the days when they could charm the pants off of me.:lmao: Sorry, guys:biglaugh:

Thank you for posting this, I think it is really good advice for me too right now. I am going through a divorce from a guy I've known for nearly 10 years. While not the cause, IC definitely played a part in our problems. I'm feeling lonely, so I feel like I should be out there dating again, but it's probably better for me to wait in the long run. I do need more guy friends though, and friendship is something I want before a relationship anyway.