OT: 4 yr old started daycare = nightmare..help!

[soccermom32]

I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years. I have 2 daughters ages 7 and 4. My 4 year old went to preschool last year and LOVES her teacher. This year, a job opportunity fell in my lap that I cannot pass up. I'm only working 9-2. I won't go full time for at least a year.

I found a nice daycare behind my house for her to go to on T-TH from 8:30 until 2:15. On M-W she is going to the preschool she loves, and the teacher drives her to the daycare and she stays from 12:00-2:15. Friday I have off. She isn't there much at all.

When I drop her off she SCREAMS bloody murder, its awful! She cries and breaks my heart and 2 teachers had to pry her off of me. I left crying today, but she calmed down immediatly when I left. I called twice and even talked to her once and she said she was having fun. When she came home, she told me she had fun but doesn't want to go back. I told her that was her playschool and she would be going back. She said, "well then I'm going to cry again." I said, "okay then, but you are still going."

She is breaking my heart and making me feel like the worst mother EVER. My friends tell me she is manipulating me, but I think she is legitimately upset! I am confident she is in a nice place with nice people. She just wants to be with me all the time, she's my girl!

My PFD is acting up bad this week from all the stress and anxiety!!

Any words of wisdom?
:help: :bow:

[dancemomof2]

When I had my in home day care for years. I had a few children that did this, and some stopped before mom could get in the car. I felt so bad for mom leaving like that. They always jumped right into the activies when she was out of sight and went on about the day like it never happened. I know how hard it is on mom's to watch this, but I also know how quickly they stop.

[jansid]

I remember when my daughter was 18 months old and I had to take her to daycare for the first time. For the first week (i watched through a window), she was crying her heart out when we walked out of the room. I was devasated. All i could think about was what an absolutely horrible mother I was and it made me sick, but I had no choice.
I made a point of talking to all of the daycare workers that she was in contact with. I asked them to not let her go off in corners and cry, to keep her busy, to hug her and then when I picked her up I just let her know how much I loved her and how great she was doing at her new big girl school.

In looking back all those years, I now have a 16 year old who is strong-willed, smart, positive most of the time, level-headed and knows that her mom (and dad) love her.

On the other hand, my 19 year old, who never had issues at daycare, is also strong willed, smart and positive, but tends to have more needy tendencies. ????

I think we can only do the best we can and be there for them for everything and let them know how much we love them.

No matter what age they are, they all know how to push those buttons. It's how we react to it that gives them the opportunity to react back.

Good luck. I miss those days, no matter how much they broke my heart.

Janice

[ICNDonna]

Very probably as long as she can see you are upset by her crying, she will probably keep doing it. If she's having a good time there, the experience is a healthy thing and will help prepare her for school.

She sounds like a very smart little girl who knows how to manipulate Mom. :)

I had one like that too, but it was a boy!

Warm hugs,
Donna

[soccermom32]

LOL Donna, that is what my mom tells me too. She manipulates me. What does that mean though? She expects me to sweep her out of there and tell her she never has to go back? Or she likes getting under my skin and making me upset? Is a 4 yr old really capable of that?

My 7 yr old daughter is so outgoing and loves new experiences and people. How can 2 kids from the same parents be so completly different :loco:

[ICNDonna]

I honestly believe some 4 year olds are capable of that --- I don't think they consciously do it, however. I remember one time I was getting ready for work and I got my son into his coat, then sat down, holding my purse. After I sat there for a few minutes, he asked when we were going. I told him I was waiting for him to have his screaming fit at home so he wouldn't have to have one at nursery school. That was the first morning he didn't scream when I left him.

Those little rascals are more aware than we usually give them credit for.

;)
Donna

[da89165]

I have been a stay at home mom for 7 years. I have 2 daughters ages 7 and 4. My 4 year old went to preschool last year and LOVES her teacher. This year, a job opportunity fell in my lap that I cannot pass up. I'm only working 9-2. I won't go full time for at least a year.

I found a nice daycare behind my house for her to go to on T-TH from 8:30 until 2:15. On M-W she is going to the preschool she loves, and the teacher drives her to the daycare and she stays from 12:00-2:15. Friday I have off. She isn't there much at all.

When I drop her off she SCREAMS bloody murder, its awful! She cries and breaks my heart and 2 teachers had to pry her off of me. I left crying today, but she calmed down immediatly when I left. I called twice and even talked to her once and she said she was having fun. When she came home, she told me she had fun but doesn't want to go back. I told her that was her playschool and she would be going back. She said, "well then I'm going to cry again." I said, "okay then, but you are still going."

She is breaking my heart and making me feel like the worst mother EVER. My friends tell me she is manipulating me, but I think she is legitimately upset! I am confident she is in a nice place with nice people. She just wants to be with me all the time, she's my girl!

My PFD is acting up bad this week from all the stress and anxiety!!

Any words of wisdom?
:help: :bow:


Did she say why she doesn't want to go.....since she said she has fun?