They're letting him go home!

[SandyRN]

I don't know whether to be happy or mad! I'm NOT happy I can tell you that. I had hoped he had one more day there to monitor everything after what happened last night. I am not equipped to check these things here ...well, I CAN check them here, but my only course of action is to return him to the hospital if his vital signs aren't normal. What is this doctor thinking?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

[dancemomof2]

I agree 1 more day wouldn't have been a bad idea. Hope all goes well.

[ICNDonna]

I'll keep my fingers crossed for both of you. Hang in there.

Sending loads of hugs,
Donna

[SandyRN]

Thanks. I've been running around here trying to get the sheets changed and do a few things before he gets home. The wheels of discharge move slowly in a hospital so I didn't feel the need to jump in the car and get there ASAP when he called this morning. He was SO excited he was out of breath. I felt bad for wishing he'd stay one more night. I'm already anticipating sleeping on the couch tonight and washing all the comforters I use as 'mattresses' to make the couch even more comfy than it already is. Who knows, maybe this hernia being gone with make his snoring go away too? LOL

I just hope he's ok...that's all I really want. I don't want to bring him home and have his bp drop or something happen to him and have to rush him back to the hospital, and I know that he doesnt want that either. The doctor that is caring for him is NOT the one that did the surgery. He's simply on call because of the holiday weekend. He's probably happy to get rid of one more patient so he can enjoy his holiday. Sounds like a bad thing to say, but when you've worked with doctors as long as I did you would think the same thing. I bet when Barb comes on, she's going to agree 100% with me. He needs another day to be on the safe side and I don't feel comfortable with this, but he's coming home so I'm going to do this the best way I know how.

Thanks so much for all the support. I know I've been a mess....heck, I'm STILL a mess!


Gotta go dry my hair. He's getting impatient waiting on me! LOL

[GriffsMommy]

Oh gosh, that would freak me out too after what happened last night. I hope that everything turns out okay and he doesn't have any more problems.

[Babs RN]

OMG, they are actually discharging him today? Are you kidding me? To top it all off, it is a holiday weekend!! Unbelievable. I would be furious and worried. You know where I am if you need me.

Hugs,
Barb:hi:

[SharonA]

I would be concerned, also. I hope everything works out for the good.

[SandyRN]

Well, I got him home. He sat up at his computer for a little while checking his email and phone messages and now he's exhausted and so am I. I have to clean out the fridge and go to the grocery store and my day is just beginning. I believe I am going to take a nap first. The biggest thing in getting him in the house was the dogs. I was terrified they would jump on him but they all just knew he was NOT to be jumped on. They sniffed his belly, backed away with their ears back and have been nothing but gentle. Thank goodness for small favors huh.

So, grocery store, drug store for his RX's, the putting the groceries away, feeding him, then taking the day as it comes. I guess I sound ungrateful but believe me I am not. I'm happy he's ok and safe. His bp did get up to 110/60 this morning which is an improvement, not a great one, but it is an improvement.

So, guess I'll lay down for a bit if I can shut my mind off! His brother was wanting to come visit and I nixed that idea real fast. We do NOT need visitors today. Tomorrow maybe, but NOT today.

[ICNDonna]

Hmmmmm --- How about giving the brother a grocery list and the prescriptions? That would get you out of one huge task today --- plus you wouldn't have to leave your patient while you shop.

Donna

[SandyRN]

Too late...plus I didnt really want anyone else in the house today. I know that sounds silly but I just didnt. Even though I've got an excuse for not having a Martha Stewart kind of house right now, I don't like having company when it's not up to my 'company' standards, and it's SO not up to company standards.

I got Tom's pain meds then went to the grocery. I was SO mad at the grocery store. I spent almost 300.00 and the girl ringing me up said a few choice cuss words at me when she saw my buggy and how full it was, then the doofus bagging my groceries put raw meat with my fresh fruit and smashed my bread. I was SO mad I made him get me new bread and re-bag the meat/fruit. Then he pawned off putting my stuff in the car on another kid who was VERY kind and polite. I gave this kid a 5 dollar tip and told him to go rub it in those two jerk's faces and tell them I would be calling the manager tomorrow on them and to tell them I hope they sleep well tonight.

Nobody treats me like that when I spend that much money on food, or anything else. I don't care if all I bought was a loaf of bread, I don't expect to have someone mumble cuss words at me.

So I brought home all that food and put it away, took my meds and now I am going to make an easy, quick dinner and take a nice, long, long bath because I deserve it! I've noticed every post I write lately is a novel and I'm sorry for that! I must be lonely! LOL

[leelee88]

Sandy,
You know it makes me mad to see how doctors do people, they just rush them out, most could care less.. Sending you some of my strenght I have left..((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

[SandyRN]

Thanks Ronda. I'm ok, tired and sore, but ok. Tom is doing better than I am I think!! At least his pain meds really do take his pain away! You keep your strength. I'm a survivor and I'll be ok, I promise!

[ICNDonna]

Actually it's been found that patients do better and heal more quickly at home than they do in the hospital. It does make it harder for family though.

I hope you are able to have a relaxing evening and get a good night of sleep.

Donna

[Babs RN]

Sandy,
I hope you guys are doing ok and that you are taking care of yourself too. Hang in there and you know where I am when you need me.

Hugs,
Barb:)

[SandyRN]

I'm going insane...this is not a good situationi..he's mean, grouchy, and I'm sleeping on the couch. He got mad at me when I went to bed this morning when he got up. I'm so ready for him to go back to work and meanwhile I'm hurting like crazy but that part doesnt matter to him...he's forgotten that I'm sick too.

geez, now I'm crying. He's just FORGOTTEN I DONT FEEL GOOD EITHER AND I AM NOT SUPERMAN

[GriffsMommy]

(((((((((((Sandy)))))))))))))) I'm so sorry that he's being mean to you. I know that pain can make us all mean sometimes. Is he still in a lot of pain or is he just being a jerk? I wish there was more that I could do for you. I'm always here to listen if you need to complain. :grouphug:

[SandyRN]

He hurts a lot. I get that. Earlier he told me, "I hurt all over" I actually said, "I'm so sorry you hurt all over, but for you it will go away, for me it might never go away and I might have to live with this for the rest of my life"...THAT made him think and he actually apologized to me. I KNOW he hurts and I know how it feels. I've been taking good care of him, I get up and down all day long, help him shower, change his bandages, do everything I can for him including running to the store to buy him a cane so he can get up and down better off the couch. I don't expect a thank you, just some respect. All I want is a little sleep too..now he's talking in his sleep as well as snoring so it's back to the couch at night for me again. I haven't had time to get online because I'm so busy here. I just want him to remember how badly I feel. The proof to that ought to be the huge cold sore I have on my bottom lip from the stress.

I hurt every single day of my life and it is not ever an excuse to be a jerk.

[GriffsMommy]

You're right, it's not an excuse, it just explains it a little better. I'm sorry that you have to sleep on the couch, it's just the opposite in our house, Shane sleeps on the couch most nights and I sleep on in bed. He goes to sleep much later than I do and I guess he's afraid that he'll wake me up. It doesn't help that Griffin climbs into our bed most nights and I'm usually so tired and out of it that most of the time I don't even realized he climbed in until hours later. I hope that he starts being nice to you or at least realizing that you're doing all this stuff for him when you feel like crap :mad:

[leelee88]

I know he's hurting, but he prob feels helpless and I know when I helpless I get a little grouchy, Im not excusing his behavior, just saying I do :( But you know also if hes on pain meds some pain meds will make you mean, but I am sure you know that..Just try to ignore him. You are doing the best you can.. And he does appreciate it..((((hugs)))))

[Bessie]

Hi Sandy,
I just got back into town and did not realize that Tom had his surgery already. Did everything go o.k.? It sounds like you have your hands full. Just wanted to let you know that I am praying :pray: :pray: for you both and I hope Tom recovers quickly.

[SharonA]

I'm so sorry, Sandy. Here's hoping that things improve...very quickly. Hopefully, as he begins to feel better, he will begin to act better. (((Hugs)))

[Briza]

:grouphug:
I am exhausted just reading what you've been going thru. I hate to say it but our other halves are usually much crankier than we are when they're not feeling well, even if we're the ones who feel bad ALL the time! I hope things get better soon.
BTW, those nose strips for snoring really do help! I trained my ex not to snore with those strips and by massaging his face and neck lightly and shutting his mouth whenever it would fall open. Many a sleepless night for me but eventually it did work. I would sleep with my head under his chin to keep his mouth shut.
Don't forget to take care of yourself, too. :angel:

[SandyRN]

Briza, he uses those nose strips, and I've tried shutting his mouth...he usually wakes up, rolls over and the cycle starts all over again! lol Anyway, he went to go lay down so I think I will too while I have the chance, AND take a massive dose of pain medicine. My poor body is just dying here. Everything hurts so much. He DID give me a big apology, a second one actually, and I was really grateful for it too. He said he was sorry he was "cranky", not really the word I would have used, the word I had in mind I can't put here on this board! LOL I'll take what I can get and remember he is in pain and this too shall pass. He did tell me he actually thought maybe he had a little taste of what my all over body pain felt like, so in some small way maybe this is a good thing. NOT that he's in pain, but that he'll understand.

Everyone, thanks so much for the support. I feel as if I've lost my mind over the last week or so, and I guess I have. I've used up my support quota for quite a while it seems!!! I just hope he gets to go back to work in the 2-3 weeks that was the initial call the doctor made because I'd like our relationship to continue after this! LOL

[ICNDonna]

Men can be totally impossible when they are sick or hurt. When my husband was recovering from heart surgery, I actually went to his bedside and told him I had HAD it --- and if he didn't "pleasant up" and do what I told him, I would have no other choice than to put him in a care center to recover. I then walked out of the room. When I returned a half hour later he was totally changed --- and he apologized.

Warm encouraging hugs are headed your way.

Donna

[Briza]

Sandy, I almost wish I HADN'T trained the ex not to snore, because then we wouldn't have stayed together for those 3 miserable years :biglaugh: I would have gotten rid of him a lot sooner had he continued to snore in MY house.:)

[dancemomof2]

HUGS to you, I would rather have my worst day ever then to have hubby have surgery again or break another bone. Just the thougth makes me cringe. Get some rest when you can. :angel:

[SandyRN]

He's mad that I CHOSE to sleep on the couch tonight. I have to get up at 5 with my daughter, then I get to go back to sleep til about 7 and get up with my son, then I drive him to school, and my plan is that when Tom gets up I am going to BED. He can stay up for hours, he proved that today just fine and dandy. I managed to get a few good hours of sleep in the bed this morning and what I slept last night. I hate to say it but my kids go back to their dads again tomorrow and I'm kinda glad because between them and Tom I am gonna need a reserved hospital bed myself. I'm not even kidding. I'm feeling sick, got back/flank pain, hurting to pee, running a low grade fever and know something is coming on...yes, if it is not better I will be calling the uro tomorrow. I promise! I have a feeling it's a flare from the stress but I am not taking any chances.

He'll just have to get over it that I have to do what I have to do to get some rest around here. It's just too bad for him. I've done everything in the world that I can for him to make sure he's taken care of the right way and that there is no chance of infection, that he takes his pain meds on time, that he takes the right amount of meds, etc, etc, etc. I MAKE him take a shower and brush his teeth because I don't think he would bother if I didnt make him.

So tomorrow MUCH of the day is going to be about ME. I am sleeping, then I am taking a REAL LONG BATH, then I am going to get my meds and going to the doctor if I need to go. I'll make sure he's ok and taken care of, of course I will.

Like I said, I don't want a thank you, I just want respect. I LOVE your idea Donna and I will certainly use that line about shipping him to a care home to recouperate. He's got great insurance that will surely pay for it too! :evilsmile

I'm off to the comfy, QUIET couch!

Night ALL! :)

[BrittanysDance]

Sandy,

Sorry you're going through a rough spot with hubby, but dont forget that anesthesia can wreak havoc on some people and change them for a few weeks. My hubby does the Dr. Jekle/Mr. Hyde thing with ANY sedation, especially general, and the anesthesiologist confirmed that this occurs to more than half of patients for whatever reason. Something about the serotonin uptake and other receptors (you should know, you're a nurse :D) - so try to be easy on him and remember that some of it may not be his doing intentionally (although you still may want to smack him for good measure sometimes :rolleyes: ) - it may take a while to get out of his system - took my hubby about 2-3 weeks for it all to work itself out. I also asked the anesthesiologist what it was they used and then told them do NOT use that again if he ever was to be put under - and they didn't - and it made a HUGE DIFFERENCE the next time. Some people also go into drug induced depressions following surgeries from sedation and need anti-depressants - they dont quite know whats wrong with them, they just feel "down" or "blah", cry easily or are just snappy at people - they never tie it into surgery - but it is from the anesthesia and a few weeks on an anti-depressant will fix the imbalance.

Hope things get better and this helps you a little bit....it may be whats going on in conjunction with his crabbiness from the actual surgery itself.

Brittany

[SandyRN]

Brittany, I want you to know that I have bent over backwards for him...literally almost. I have taken the best care of him that I know how and it wasn't good enough for him. I finally had to lay down the law with him because I was not going to allow him to abuse me anymore. I hurt every single day of my life and I do not treat people the way he treated me. In fact, if I am feeling grumpy, or angry I go away, to the bathtub or another room to shake it off so that I dont snap at anyone or hurt anyone's feelings because of the physical pain I am feeling. His surgery was on Thursday. His anesthesia was out of his system by Saturday, or so, per the doctor, he came home on Sunday and by Monday I would have expected him to at least be civil, but he was not. I could not do a thing right for him. He criticized the way I put on his bandage, the amount of ice I put in his drink, the temperature of the water I turned the shower to, on and on.

I know pain medicines can play with people's personality. BUT, not to the extent that he was acting. If you've read some of my recent posts, he was being ugly to me prior to this surgery, it was just multiplied by 100 when he got home.

Since I put my foot down and made it clear to him that I would do anything in the world to help him and that I really did manage to graduate college with a degree in Science and a RN that I WOULD decide how the bandage went on, and he would keep his trap shut. I would take care of him and he would be respectful, and he would also remember that I live my life in pain every single day and that pain is multiplied by 1000 right now because I am so stressed mentally and physically.

Last night he told me he finally understands what it feels like to hurt all over...and while I never wished that kind of pain on him I am glad he understands. He has been MUCH nicer today, even kind to me. He told me to go take a bath, soak as long as I need to, asked ME how I felt, and thanked me for taking care of him. I never wanted or expected a thank you, just wanted to be respected, but I REALLY did appreciate it.

So, while I understand what you're saying, there was more to the story than just the surgery, it went back a few months before it. If there is any good to come out of all of this I hope he's going to have a new appreciation for me and what I go through every day of my life.

Hugs, Sandy

[BrittanysDance]

(((((((((((Sandy))))))))))

I'm so sorry, I guess I didnt know the entire situation and was looking more from a medical side than a personal situation. I'm sorry your hubby is treating you that way and GOOD FOR YOU for standing up for yourself - you dont deserve to be treated like a second class citizen by any means.

I do hope he realizes how much you are helping him in all of this - men can be very big babies when they are sick or have surgery, lord knows mine cant function when he is sick, yet I can have all of these conditions, take care of him, all the kids, cook, clean, tend to the animals and STILL not feel well myself, all the while living on pain pills and god help me if I complain about it. Welllllllllll..we all know what thats like now dont we? :rolleyes:

Lots of hugs to you... - dont you wish you had that anesthesia now to re-sedate him? *laughing here* :P

Brittany