I have to make a hard decision!

[Claredale]

My step-dad has a small plane (a 4 seater). They live in Heber Springs (about 3 hours from me by car, but only about 45 minutes by plane) and he comes and gets me alot since I can't stand to ride in a car for that long. I have gotten over flying in a small plane, but again that is just 45 minutes!!!! It is also such a curvey road for about the last half of the trip. Anyway, my mom is talking about going to see my fraternal grandmother over Labor Day weekend. This is my late father's family. They live outside Reading, PA. My mom is asking me and my hubby to fly up there with them this weekend since my grandmother's side of the family is having a family reunion. It would be about a 7 hour trip. We would land a couple of times to gas up, but I get very restless in small areas and my bladder and legs start going crazy when I can walk around from time to time. I haven't seen that side of my family in about 2 years when my grandfather died. I also don't do well when it comes to sleeping away from my bed and my own potty and TV! I already don't sleep well as it is, but definitely not in different surroundings. I never know how I will feel over a weekend. I could be great and have lots of energy or I could be like I was this weekend and spend the entire weekend in my pjs with my heating pad.

I am so torn. I want to see my grandmother as well as the rest of my family, but I don't want to get worn out from the weekend and then start work on Tuesday with no rest! My hubby suggested that I just fly commercially, but it's just too expensive when I could fly for free. It would also mean that someone would have to pick me up in Philly which is about a 2 hour trip. That would be a ride in a car that wouldn't be fun. Most of my family have small cars that are not very bladder friendly!

I don't want to say that this could be the last time I see my grandmother. She is doing great, but I know she would love for me to come. My mom is leaving the decision to me (no guilt). She knows I have been hurting lately, but I could also feel fine and wish that I went.

I could use any travel suggestions and your prayers for me to make the right decision for me. I have my heating pad that we can plug into the plane. I could probably take meds to help me relax enough, but then I would be running low before my next appt.

I guess I am just looking for reassurance from people that know how it is to be away from the comfort of your home, the fear of hurting and the chance that I may be missing a great opportunity to have a wonderful visit with my family. They know I am sick (at least that side understands and they live over a 1000 miles away!).

Thanks for your warm thoughts, suggestions and definitely your prayers!

Tracey

[ICNDonna]

I think it sounds like a very nice weekend.

:)
Donna

[leelee88]

Tracey,
I know how you feel, I do not like to go away because I am always worried about the "what ifs" But usually everything works out fine. And remember you will be around family and I am sure they will understand if you start feeling bad an need to go lay down or just take it easy..And I am sure your grandmother would be delighted to see you..Just bring all you meds and you heating pad, just in case..Wishing you well...:angel:

[SharonA]

T...Go!!! If you don't, you will probably regret that you stayed home. Go see your grandmother, be with your family and have a wonderful time.

[SandyRN]

I think you'll regret it if you don't go. I worry about all the what if's as well and I usually worry unnecessarily. You may have a couple of restless nights and you may not be as comfy as you would be at home, but wouldn't you spend most of the weekend feeling a little guilty and sad that you didn't go if you choose to stay home?

I agree with the others. I say go for it. IC takes over enough of our lives as it is....sometimes we just have to move on and live our lives in spite of IC!

Hugs, Sandy

[mary124]

I say go for it - it sounds like fun. As to Tuesday, could you possibily have your family come home early on Monday so that you can rest up? Or either take off Tuesday half a day or all day? I don't know where you work or if you get leave or what ( I get x amount of leave every month so if I need to take off I can-- but I realize not everyone is that lucky). But like everyone else has said, you might be missing out on a good thing, just take everything you need with you, your family will understand if you have to lay down for awhile.

[Claredale]

I am already off on Monday for Labor day, but I have to be here on Tuesday since I am filling in for a co-worker that is off all next week which means I will have a little more work to do after a busy weekend. I savor my weekends and rest as much as I can. My hubby is doing good to get me to go out to eat and to a movie, especially when I have had a bad few days.

I talked to my mom this morning and she knows that I had such a bad weekend last weekend and really haven't done great this week. I am actually doing a little better today, so I will see how I do with my sleeping tonight. We would have to be back by Monday afternoon, so I would have a few hours to rest. I am getting more stressed by the day about this. Yes, I would love to see my family especially my grandmother, but I would hate to be up there and hurting. I have a call into my doctor to make sure that I have enough pain meds. I am running a little low and my appointment is on the 6th, so he is used to calling in a few extra Lortab and some Valium. I am also planning on another trip later in September, so I am already worrying about that. I am such a homebody! We are going with our church choir on a retreat in Arkansas. We went last year and my husband did drive (another couple rode with us) in case I started hurting. They had 5 church vans and I was definitely not looking forward to riding in a van through hilly country roads! I ended up doing great (even rode horses) while the couple that went with us, the wife gets migraines quite often. She ended up with a migrane on the last day, so thankfully we were in our own vehicle so we were able to wait at the cabin for her meds to kick in and drive home at our own pace. Our friends kept apologizing for making us late. We had to have friends pick up our dog, other than that we were fine! We told them that is why we wanted to be in our own car so if anything happened we wouldn't have to make everyone wait or cater to me. I keep reminding myself that I worried so much about that weekend and did fine, but I did have a day after that to take off and rest.

My mom said that if I don't go this weekend, that she and my step-dad will go again in the spring and we would be up there a little longer if I am able to take off work, so that would give me a chance to either spend more time up there and not make it a rushed trip or give me a chance to rest before going to work. We would see the family then too (they get together all of the time!). Plus it is beautiful in that area of PA (mostly Amish country) in the spring!

I appreciate the encouragement. Hopefully with prayers and faith that all will go well, I will get to go and enjoy myself!

Thanks much! Tracey

[SandyRN]

I'm a real homebody too so I totally understand that part of it. It's so hard to get out in the real world worrying about heating pads or baths and pain meds, etc, etc, etc....plus it takes me at least an hour in the mornings to get moving really well to go out in public. Let us know what you decide!

Hugs!!

Sandy :)

[SharonA]

I, also totally understand about not wanting to be away from home. I get very nervous about traveling. I love my home and can't think of any place I would rather be. I am such high maintenance with having to take my own water, meds, food, etc. just to keep the IC at a good level. I am going away for a weekend ladies conference with the girls from our Bible Study to Nashville very soon and I keep changing my mind about going. One minute, I want to go; the next I don't. :dizzy:

[Charisse]

Can you lay down on the airplane if you start to hurt too much? I think I would definitely go. Of course I'm about to go to Europe for two weeks. I have all the same fears you do but I figure I only live once and I can either deal with pain at home or deal with it while travelling. Either way it sucks but I am determined not to let IC hold me back from so many opportunities. I can't plan my good or bad days either and part of the problem is my other health conditions also flare on and off. So I'm just praying that it will be a good span of time. Let us know what you decide!

[Claredale]

I appreciate everyone's vote of confidence and cheering me on to go, but I just wanted y'all to know that I have made my decision, or my body has made it for me. I have been in a flare since last Thursday (mainly pain!) and I just don't want to take any chances. At this rate, I am doing good to be at work and then get home to my bed that is screaming for me now! I have had very little sleep. If I was just going to be at my grandmother's house, it would probably be okay, but with it being a family reunion and having to drive to my uncle's house is just too much. I really hate that this has happened!

When I get home tonight though, I have to "straighten" my house up a little. My hubby did most of it last night (even the washing the clothes). I do love him so much! Y'all remind me of that when I am venting about him later!

My younger son's girlfriend's mom is coming to our house to stay with us for a couple of days while she is working (she is a traveling nurse) in a small town near me. She is very understanding of my IC and doesn't want me to go through any trouble for her sake. I now hope I can even make it through that visit. Her daughter is quite used to me piling up in my bed with my heating pad, but I want to be able to keep her company. She will be at our house tomorrow after she eats with some friends and goes to our wonderful mall. She lives in a small town herself! She asked me to join her, but that's another thing I don't have the energy to do right now. IC is so frustrating and HATEFUL!

Charisse, my step-dad's plane is a 4 seater and there definitely isn't any room to lie down. I am thankful that I am only 5'2" since the area is so confined. We did check into a commercial flight, but with it being Labor Day weekend and the news talking about delays, delays, delays, I am not taking that chance either.

My mom said that they will try to make the trip at Easter for my sake. I still have until Saturday morning to change my mind and to get better, so I am truly hoping that I do and can go. Please keep me in your prayers. I am so thankful for them all! I did schedule boarding for my dog just in case.

Tracey

[Janie Miranda]

Tracey,
I'm sorry you are missing the trip but your own gut feeling is telling you the right thing to do. one of my favorite quotes is from Goethe:
It goes something like this:"When you trust yourself, you will know how to live".
I hope you start feeling much better soon.
Extra hugs,
Janie

[Claredale]

Thanks Janie. I cried the whole way home today. I was hurting, plus just disappointed and upset that I can't go. I keep telling myself that once I get up there, I will be fine, since I can just stay busy, but then I think about coming back home and being worn out and then trying to face another week of work. I just can force my body to do more than I feel comfortable with right now.

Hugs back! Tracey