What more can go wrong!!

[GriffsMommy]

So my car is sounding funny when I'm driving home yesterday. It's really loud like a motorcycle. The dealership told me at the beginning of the year that the exhaust manifold is cracked. They didn't say anything about fixing so I guess I didn't realize how big of a deal it was. So I call the dealership to ask them about fixing it, they say it's like $800 bucks! Hello, where in the world am I coming with $800 bucks. I don't even have credit at this point!! So this freaked me out but I thought, we'll figure it out, then I call home, hubby says I should call Meineke. I did and they said it may be a little less expensive with them but if it is cracked it HAS to be replaced, can't be welded and that it is a safety issue because exhaust will start coming in the vents. Lovely, the only car we have, I'm supposed to be setting an appointment with an IC specialist in Baltimore, an hour and a half away and my car needs $600 to $800 in repairs. I am freaking. Money has been so tight lately with me missing time from work with flares that credit card payments have been really late lately and I KNOW I'm not going to be able to get credit to pay for this. Maybe I could apply for it in hubby's name. I don't know if he can get a big enough one, if not then we either have to ask someone in his family for the money or my parents. I THINK my dad might give it to us but he is going to go ape sh*t about it. I am so freaked out at this point. Ugh!! There could not be a worse time for this to happen. I hate life right now!!!!:cussing: :rant: :mad: :help:

[petrie86]

I hate cars... they're always breaking. I'm sorry you have to go through this. That's alot of money. Do youhave a freind who works in a body shop or who could help you out. Alot of places like to take advantage of women. If i bring my car anywhere to get it fixed they think i'm a young dumb girl who they can take advantage of and double the price! Maybe see if your hubby can bring it somewhere and get a cheaper price??
I hope things work out for you. I will keep you in my prayers.

Rachel

[leelee88]

Christine,
Geesh when it rains it poors...I hope your dad can help you.. Sending you (((hugs)))) and hoping everything will work out...:angel:

[jesamyn]

Christine,

I read your post and I COMPLETELY sympathize with you right now! I, too, am having all kinds of issues (largely money) because I really need to go on short-term disability but have tons of credit card debt because my husband and I just got married about a month ago! I was actually just at home on my lunch break from work (after suffering all afternoon) and then we got into a bit of a fight because I feel so helpless that I need to take time off from work to rest and recover from this REALLY bad infection that I can't get rid of, but if I do that...no money for bills. And isn't it funny how it seems like credit card and medical bills pile up faster than any other type? I swear they sometimes send out multiple copies of each at one time!!! My point is, you are so not alone in feeling like you "hate today"..hmmm..I have never really thought about it that way, but I think I "hate today" too!! But, if you feel that you are at the bottom, where else can you go but up?? Maybe you can borrow the money from your dad to get your car fixed and tune out any lecturing that you may get in return? Maybe you can borrow a friend's car for the day and offer to babysit or have them come with as a roadtrip friend? Don't give up! You WILL get to see the doctor that you need to, the answer will come to you!!

Jesamyn:flower:

[GriffsMommy]

Thanks guys, I'm hoping that they'll give me the money. My mom would give me the money in a second without even a second thought but it's my dad who is the hard a**. I THINK he will give it to me like I said because he'll know that I'm screwed without it but I really really really hate to ask. I feel like I need to take a shot of whiskey or something to get up the nerve to call. LOL Oh well, I guess we'll see what happens, I can't imagine he'll leave me screwed, I guess I'll have to pay them back, very very slowly. Alright, gotta go make dinner and then I guess I'll make the dreaded phone call some time after that.

[Mel53H]

Good luck with the phone call! I hope everything works out!

[dg2901]

Christine--look in your phone book for mobile mechanics. They are generally a LOT cheaper and will come to where ever you need them to.
We were let on to this secret several years ago and am incredibly thankful to the person who clued us in. Its saved us TONS of money with car repairs in the past.

Diana

[GriffsMommy]

Well I actually just got up the courage and called while I was getting dinner ready. I figured that I would just get it over with. Well my dad wasn't home from work yet so I told my mom about it, she is so great. She said that if it were totally up to her that the check would already be written and be in the mail. She said that she is pretty sure that he is going to have a cow BUT she pretty much made it sound like I'm going to get the money. She knows that I wouldn't have called them if I had ANY other way of paying for it. She knows I need a car so she said they'll just have to give me the money. I told her she could have him call when he gets home and I'd talk to him about it. She said that was a bad idea because I was crying when I was telling her about it and she knows I'd start to cry again and instead of feeling sorry for me he just gets more mad when I cry.

I feel really guilty that I laid this on my mom because now she will have to talk to him about it and it sounds like she is going to stand firm that they need to do this for me which means they will most likely have a BIG fight.

I feel like a big fat failure because I'm almost 30 and I need to go to them for this help. It doesn't help that my dad makes me feel like crap when I go to them and ask for stuff like this. He makes it seem like I'm that dead beat kid who constantly sponges off of their parents. This is the first time I've asked for money in forever, they paid for my Elmiron in November which was $120 but my mom acts like that doesn't even count because to them that's such a small amount of money (they are very upper middle class and money is never a problem).

Oh, by the way to all who had responded to my thread about the Toby Keith concert, now that I know how bad off the car is, I'm not going to the concert. I don't think that it's safe to drive the car to Hershey, it's over a half an hour away. My MIL did ask the kids grandfather (hubby's, ex-wife's dad) to go with her and he said yes and he'll drive. Apparently he's a really big Toby Keith fan so they should really enjoy themselves. I wasn't sure if I wanted to go at first because I was worried about bathroom sand stuff like that but now I find out that it's in a suite and had a bathroom right in the suite so that wouldn't have been an issue. It would have been fun but I'm sure I'll be flaring from all this stress so maybe it's better that I don't go :mad: Oh well

[Sally939]

I am 29 and have an ok job and my mom helps me when I need it. I know how it feels when it all goes wrong at once. I have had three rootcanals this year. I have used up my dental insurance so now I have to pay all of the bills for the two I need now. (I promice I brush my teeth) My mom told me to send her the bill for one. One rootcanal and a crown will be about $1300 seriously. It sounds like your mom is great. And your dad is "special". The fact is you need the car fixed and you should not feel bad about needing some help. You need to see that specialist! I have been reading this site for maybe three weeks and you seem very strong. I wish I had half the strangth you seem to have. Try to let his additude roll off you back. Stress is bad for you.

[leelee88]

Curl is right you are not a looser at all.. You do so much for your family Christine..

Your mom and dad both should be very proud of you.. Like I told you before I dont see how you do it.. I have enough trouble just keeping up with 4 kids, and IC.
I coudnt even imagine having to work like you do and suffering with all the pain, then coming home to do all the mother and wife things that have to be done..Just thinking about it wears me out..
But please dont ever think of yourself as a looser. You are a great person and a mom and wife..Things will get better...((((hugs))))

[mimimama]

Sorry to hear this..Gosh I don't mean to sound kooky but so many of us are having hard times. Sometimes it seems as though the best people have the worst luck..makes me really confused.

I am hoping for a quick, cheap solution!:angel:

[GriffsMommy]

Oh thanks guys, everybody here always makes me feel better. Well my mom called me back and wanted to know how much in credit cards I had, I was too embarrased to tell them all but I told them most of them. My dad then got on the phone and went into this big thing about how debt is so bad and I should get credit counseling. I plan on paying off the majority of it when I get my tax refund at the beginning of the year.

Anyway, he said they would pay for the car and he made it sound like they would give me an extra $1000 to pay down some of my debt. If he does that then I can get out of the hole I've been in and get caught up and then we should be okay. THEN he said that I should have come to him sooner! I couldn't believe it, he usually freaks out when I ask for money which is why I didn't go to him sooner. What the heck!?! Such a weird man, you can never figure him out. He wanted to make sure that my house was okay, which it is because the mortgage comes out of my checking account every two weeks so I have no choice but to pay it.

I think I can finally relax a little now. He did say he doesn't want me to drive the car at all until I get it fixed. When I called the dealership this morning though I think they said that they can't work on it until next week which is gonna SUCK but my co-worker said she'll come and pick me up, I'll just have to get creative with getting to the grocery store and stuff.

Thank you Ronda for the kind words. Sometimes I'm not sure how I do it myself but I feel like I don't have a choice at this point so I just keep on going. I think if I stopped for awhile though then I might not be able to start again. I already took 3 days off the first week in January because that's when I'll get my vacation time back and I know I'm going to need it big time!

Hope everyone else is having a good night as I am def flaring from all the pain! Ouch!

[jamie_visiting]

Dear Christine,

I am glad that you were able to work something out with your dad. These medical problems truly impose a huge burden, and increase stress, which makes the medical stuff worse etc etc.

I have been spending a lot of money on all this, especially alternative treatments not covered by insurance. Sometimes you just don't have a choice, and the same is true for fixing your car.

Just wanted to say that I am thinking of you and that you should not put yourself down. It is admirable that you do as much as you do in the first place, and while some people may not understand the nature of IC, we on this site do and respect the efforts you make every day.

Take care, :)
Jamie

[ICNJess]

Christine,

Sometimes we fall on hard times. Aren't our parents always surprising us? I am so glad your parents are helping--I hope things look up for you soon. (((((Hugssss)))))

[GriffsMommy]

Oh thanks Jess! The car is in the shop already. I don't know if they had a chance to work on it today though, they said they would have to squeeze it in. My parents said they'll give the dealership a credit card # when it's done to pay for it. My mom said that all three of us are going to have a talk about how much extra they are going to give me. I think my dad wants to give me a big chunk to help me pay down some of my credit cards. It would be great but I think it's going to make me feel really guilty. I guess I'll just have to say thank you and not get into credit card debt again to show him that it wasn't a mistake. Ugh, I've got frequency through the roof! I'm going to the bathroom every 10 minutes.

[leelee88]

I bet its your nerves and worrying about all this, but things will get better..:angel:

[GriffsMommy]

I hope so, I hate it when it's like this, espically when I haven't had much to drink since I got home. I can never figure out where all this darn pee is coming from!

[leelee88]

Lol, me either.. And then sometimes I can drink water all day and not have many trips to the bathroom at all.. IC is just plain stupid.. It has no rhyme or reason..

[kuntrygurl78]

I just wanted to send hugs your way!:kissing: :grouphug:

You are such an amazing mom and wife. I know how hard it is to ask for help. Ill never forget when I had to ask my grandparents for help. It was the hardest thing I ever did.

[GriffsMommy]

Well thank you kuntrygurl, sometimes I don't feel like I'm incredible. I was so cranky this morning when I left for work I thought my husband was going to kill me. But what to you expect after being woken up at 5:40 by a 3 year old and not getting enough sleep! LOL.

[SandyRN]

I'm so sorry you've had such a hard time lately. I know you've had your share lately too. It's time for all of us to have a much deserved break! Yesterday we had the car inspected and found out there is a huge nail in one of the tires in the side wall that can't be patched. These are those big Laredo Jeep Cherokee tires and they're about 150.00 a piece. :(

I'm also sorry I answered this so late...you've always been right there when I needed a shoulder, so I'm sorry!

Big hugs, Sandy

[GriffsMommy]

Oh gosh Sandy, don't feel bad. You're going through a rough time too. It seems to be a rough week, month, year take your pick! I'm just glad I have such a wonderful group of supportive people here when I need them.

[Mel53H]

Hey Griffs Mommy! I have found that whenever I tell myself "what more can go wrong," something more goes wrong. It is like I am jinxing myself when I say that.

Hang in there woman! I hope that you get some relief from the pain and that Griff does not wake up so early tomorrow morning.

Hugs:grouphug:

[mary124]

Christine-- sending hugs your way, glad you were able to get some help from your parents. and get your car fixed.

I know where you are coming from I just spent $1100 on my car (which I didn't have (couldn't ask my parents because I knew they (especially my Mom would tell me no, they don't have it, and my Dad would agree). So I asked one of my sons who had some $$ saved up. (I hated to do that but what could i do? (but we needed the brakes, some kind of pulley, belt and of course tires on the car) and it seems all at one time!!) so I guess when it rains it poors for all of us. Hopefully, we will all get thru this mess very soon.

[stacey79]

I hope things get better soon, Christine. I'm glad your parents are helping you out and your dad isn't giving you a hard time. I think most people don't realize the financial strain and burden that comes with being sick.

Like so many of us, I completely relate right now. My shocks are out on my car. I'm taking it to have it checked next week. At least they check it for free. I don't know how we'll pay for it. My hubby is jobless right now and what little income I bring in is going to help with bills. At least after 2-1/2 months his unemployment came through. Just one thing after another. I also need new tires. They're so bad I actually did a doughnut and slid off the Interstate during a rain shower earlier this summer. It scared the heck out of me, but again waiting.

I have to say, I actually respect you for having the strength to talk to your parents. I just haven't been able to do that, yet. THey don't know about the tires or the shocks because I know they'd try and pay for it. I just don't want to have them do that. Prideful, I know. My hubby and I got married in the middle of college (8 years ago) and my family didn't think we'd be able to make it. I guess I still feel like they'll think we aren't making it or something.

Anyway, I don't want this to turn into all-about-me. Hang in there and stay strong. You are a strong woman and, even though it's hard, it is OK to ask for help.