creatingkarma
08-09-2007, 04:44 PM
Hello old friends & new friends alike. It's been quite a while since I was last here with you all. I hope everyone is doing well & I apologize for my absence. My life has really caught a doozie of a whirlwind. It all started when my husband & I decided to sell our home. All the projects that he started & never finished all of a sudden had to be completed (staining, painting, tiling). I was pretty much left to do it all & sprained my tummy muscles in the process. Well, finish all of that & it's now time to show the house. What a nightmare that is - something I never wish to do again in my lifetime. In case you've never been through it - take my advice & don't do it! Anyways, so that was a major stress. Throw a hydro in the middle of it & best friends who are supposed to be there to help you out disappear & the others tell you to get lost because you won't babysit their kid for 12 hours. Husband is constantly drunk - haven't seen him sober in 2 years. His entire being has a stench to him & he's wasted by the time he gets home from work & it doesn't stop there & he's been throwing up every morning for 2 years & he pees the bed & pees himself at the grocery store & still won't stop. Well, then we sell the house & have 3 weeks to move out, so husband decides to go out of town to work for 3 months. He was only working 3 hours away, but just couldn't seem to make it home for one single day to help me. I was left to move an entire house, 2 kids, & 2 dogs all by myself. Nice, huh? Oh well, the prize at the end was going to be worth it - a beautiful home on 10 acres of timber with a creek that meanders all the way through the property. Hundreds of trees that have been standing tall since God created them. Deer & turkey running right through the front yard. Heaven to me. Anyways, I get moved in & the next weekend my husband decides that he can make the trip home for a couple days now. He hadn't seen me or the kids in a month & 1/2 and he shows up here wasted & he stayed wasted the entire weekend. I felt like I was babysitting a 2 year old - only worse. The next weekend that he came home wasn't a bit better, so I decided that I'd had enough. I don't miss him while he's gone & dread him being around, so why have I stayed with him? One reason - how do I support 2 kids on disability? Oh well, I didn't care - I was no longer going to live this way, so I filed for divorce. He went to stay with his mother & the next day they were both over here & his mom & I had words & she assaulted me. Restraining order!!! Then something kept telling me to look at his cookies & see what he's been up to on the computer, which is something that I hadn't done in 5 years. What I found totally & completely flipped me out! An adultfriendfinder (the world's largest swingers club) account & he was a $150 a year GOLD member & every single person on his friend list was a transexual! So, well, that's just great & exactly what I needed. NOT! (BTW, had everything checked at the doc & I'm ok in the STD department). Since then, my husband has pulled almost every dirty trick in the book on me. He picked the kids up from school early one day & refused to bring them home & then called the Division of Family Services & reported bogus child abuse charges on me. I was awakened one morning to a social worker knocking on my door wanting to investigate me. Luckily, she had already been to the girls' schools & questioned them. She asked them if their mommy spanked them & they said "No, never." Geesh, 9 out of 10 people tell me that I'm too sweet on my kids. So then he filed for emergency custody because someone (him) filed child abuse charges. Needless to say, that didn't work out to well for him since I obviously was not found guilty. Oh, so then my new house floods. I mean I was about to build an ark. The water didn't just seep in - it FLOWED in & it did this every time it rained. The water would finally quit flowing in around 4-5 days AFTER it hadn't rained. So, my dream home is now my dream dump - carpet's all ripped out & I've been living on concrete floors (it's an earth contact home). Oh yeah, and the shingles started falling off the roof too! So, that's been going on since I moved here in March. The flooding & the roof were finally fixed last week! Hip-hip horray! The inside (sheet rock & flooring) will be started on next week! Yea! The soon-to-be x gave me much grief about it all though - refusing to sign the insurance claim checks & sending 10 different contractors out here to give bids on the job when I already hired my cousin (who is on State Farm's recommended list of contractors & who could do it for 1/2 the cost). Anyways, what else? My bank account was frauded, I was stalked, I had a couple close friends I've known for 25 years tell me to never speak to them again because I asked for the $500 they borrowed from me back. It's been something MAJOR like that about every other day for months now. My husband has not given me a single dime this entire time to help pay the bills & after the mortgage I'm only left with $200. Luckily, we had been saving for our kids college fund & I'm using that to live on right now, but I just hate having to do that. Gotta do what I've gotta do though. It's been one heck of a ride, but you know what? I'm happy now. Even with everything that has happened & the constant stress - I feel better & my health is better & I'm more active & I smile & laugh more now. I feel like the person that I used to be only older & wiser & ready to take the time to take care of me for a change. I know that I'm going to be ok no matter what & things will get better as time goes on. I am keeping the house & 10 acres, which I still absolutely love. It's like living in a state park only better because nobody else is around. To sit & look at the trees all day long is all I need. I'm soo much more relaxed here & my bladder is thanking me for it. Ahhhhhhhhh.......serenity.
Take care, everyone!
Take care, everyone!