Masturbation creating flares...?

[deviation72]

Hi all,

I have a rather strange problem that's upsetting me a lot. I seem to have my worst flares (out of all things that can make me flare up) from masturbation - sometimes I can start flaring about 1/2 hour after. The funny thing is that penetrative sex only flares me up occassionally, and oral sex never does... but guaranteed, every time I masturbate or my partner does it to me, it's flare city. I'm feeling really depressed about it, even though I know I can have other types of sex, we're not always in the mood for that, and sometimes I just wanna do it alone, you know?

Does anyone else have the same problem, and if so, any suggestions for minimising this terrible pain?

Thanks in advance :grouphug:

[kjd]

Me too Kristen!!! I get like burning pains and feel very sore bout 20mins afterwards and then wish I hadnt of done it in the first place!!!
how annoying!
But I know what you mean it is very annoying and depressing as it doesnt cause me pain at the time its just afterwards.

you're not alone!!
x

[leelee88]

Kristen,

Have you tried the WSH when sex hurts web site.. There are alot of supportive woman on the site who has some really good info on this topic..The web site was created by Jill the same wonderful lady who created this web site.. I will give you the link below.. Hope you join us!

http://www.whensexhurts.com/forum/

[jen74]

I can no longer orgasm, because if I do, I end up with severe bladder pain afterwards and it is not worth it. I get these sharp stabbing pains in my bladder after I orgasm. Lately it is just easier to avoid it all toegther it seems. All that pain is not worth that second of pleasure I guess, and for me it is more pain than pleasure. This disease stinks.
Jen

[ICLori]

I have heard of this happening to other IC'ers, so I don't think it's uncommon, unfortunately. :(

I'm not really sure if it's from chemicals being released that maybe irritate things, or maybe some form of pelvic floor dysfunction....but I have heard of that before, and it's very understandable why you are kind of down about it - there are so many losses sometimes with this disease!

Blessings,
Lori

[tigger_gal]

oh I agree you should come and join us overe there.. we are a grat group...

[SharonA]

I think the pain after orgasm is caused by the uterus reacting which in turn shakes up the bladder. I have had some difficulties with orgasm, myself.

Do come on over to the When Sex Hurts site, Kirsten. We would love to have your input.

[deviation72]

Thanks everyone, I will join up to WSH and come chat with you over there.... :-)

[leelee88]

kewl we would love to have you!

[SharonA]

Hey everyone...Kirsten is coming to our house. :woohoo: See you there.

[deviation72]

Hi all, have joined WSH just waiting for registration to be approved so I can post.

In the meantime.... it's interesting that people have problems with orgasms. Orgasms from oral sex don't hurt me at all, it's just masturbation that leaves me in a flare for several days. This is why I feel so wierd. It's also wierd trying to explain to the uro (who's great, don't get me wrong) that the pain only comes from masturbation, because talking about masturbation is so embarrassing for me....!!!

[SharonA]

Could what you are experiencing with masturbation actually be a UTI? I have wondered about that myself. Since UTIs are an infection caused by something invading the Urinary System, does it stand to reason that unclean hands could be causing a UTI? :hmm:

[deviation72]

I wondered that, actually, SharonA... given the pain is similar to a UTI for me and I also get quite nauseous.... although it happens even when hands are scrubbed clean! I'm wondering if I'm irritating my urethra rather than my bladder.

[jen74]

I also wondered about if touching down there could cause UTIs. But then I thought about it, and before I got IC, I never got a UTI from touching down there. I think that IC causes us to be very suseptible to getting infections. I just got over an infection a couple weeks ago, and have no clue how I got it, since I am very clean and have not even had sex. I feel like I have a UTI now, even though my culture that I had taken last Friday was clear. I still think I have a UTI though. Those cultures are not always accurate I dont think. Maybe I had the culture done to early for it to pick up the bacteria. I am suppose to do my first instill tomorrow. I pray I dont have an infection as it may make it worse. I would ask her to do a dipstick urine test, but those are a bunch of crap and never pick up my infections anyhow.
Jen

[deviation72]

Just to let y'all know, have registered on the WSH forum, just waiting for moderators approval and then I'll be bombarding you all with questions etc!

Thanks for the tips and comments on this topic so far....

[Angeles]

ONE of the Best things to avoid sex related UTI's is bottle washig,(whatever kind of sex , b/c any stimulation to the urethra per my urologist, can cause an UTI, not only penetration)...please do. If you want tinof on how to bottle wash correctly, let me know. Keeping the area free (as free as possible) of bad bacteria (coming from anus or hands) sorry but that's how it is.

[deviation72]

Thanks SMR218, great tip - so what is 'bottle washing'? Any info on this would be great, either here on by private message. It sounds like it could work for me (and I'll try anything, even if it only helps a bit.)

[Angeles]

Deviation,, There's simple bottle washing wich is run water from a bottle sitting in the toilet (water coming from above). So that the water runs evrything down to teh toilet. then you pat dry.
However the perfect way to bottle wash after BM and before sex is explained step by step in a book by Angela Kilmartin "Urinary TracT Infection, sexual cystitis and IC" Although the part about IC doesn't apply to all b/c she thinks is is bacterial only when I think there are so many differnt causes for it. I think the $10 or so I've paid for the book are worth every penny and a LOT more. The more information you get the better, specailly on how to PREVENT THINGS. I've learned bottle wahing from her and it makes totale sense to me.

[deviation72]

Thanks SMR218 for your advice and for the book suggestion. It is certainly something I will try as I'm happy to try anything at this stage! Thanks again :smile tee

[PickPink]

I can no longer orgasm, because if I do, I end up with severe bladder pain afterwards and it is not worth it. I get these sharp stabbing pains in my bladder after I orgasm. Lately it is just easier to avoid it all toegther it seems. All that pain is not worth that second of pleasure I guess, and for me it is more pain than pleasure. This disease stinks.
Jen

I get the same sort of pain after I orgasm sometimes! Not always, and not when I masturbate usually.. but definitely with sex - and if I orgasm before he does, and we continue to have sex - the pain just gets worse and worse:cussing: ! Sometimes it's so bad I have to ask him to stop! I agree with you Jen, this disease DOES stink!!

[Moonheart]

I'm registered on the other site, just haven't got over there yet. But I did want to address the comment about the uterus and all.

I've had a hysterectomy and I still have the same problmes that you all are having. So I don't think it's related.

[lisalau]

The idea that masturbation irritates the urethra makes a lot of sense to me. Penetrative sex rarely stimulates the urethra however a lot of the pleasure of masturbation and oral sex is urethral play. I don't really understand why oral sex does not trigger the pain as much as masturbation but i have the same effect.
You arn't alone in this but i have no answers!
hugs

[Mena]

Hi everyone,

I am so glad to have found this forum that I want to cry! I seem to get symptoms of a UTI after I've masturbated a few times in a week. It has to do with frequency with me for some reason and before my period my hormones also go nuts and I want sex, plus even if I don't, just the hormonal changes bring on the UTI symptoms.

I have noticed a pattern lately that if I masturbate frequently, I will start having those feelings of having to urinate and needing to run to the bathroom every 5 minutes. There's no problem starting the urination, in fact it feels like it will just come out on its own (though so far has not without my "permission" ha ha). I am so afraid of making myself incontinent! My bladder just feels weird, not pain but not normal. It's like I'm aware of it.

I had instances in the past where my bladder would just hurt soo much and I'd have all these weird sensations and need to pee every few minutes etc.

I get this so often it's ridiculous and I have not been formally dx'd with IC but I'm talking a lifetime of this sorta stuff so I really think it is there.

When I was having pain and all, I saw a urologist who did the scope thing (wow that was uncomfortable) and he didn't see anything wrong with me. (!!!)

I was like, so why do I have to pee constantly?

And when my period's coming it always gets worse for a few days then tapers off once I get my period. I asked my gyno about it but he's kinda useless.

Anyway, I have NEVER seen anyone talk about masturbation and bladder issues as being connected before. I am a serious believer that they are. They must be! Maybe the orgasm is irritating the muscles of the bladder or irritating the urethra or something. But I feel like an idiot going to a doctor and saying , "Hi, my masturbation is causing bladder issues!" What are they gonna do for me?

I was on Detrol LA as the doc told me I have a small bladder capacity but it didn't help anything.

And you know what else is maddening? I seem to always get "aroused" when I have that feeling ofneeding to urinate. So it's a vicious cycle. And I've had that problem for like 20 years or something. I wish I could stop that feeling of needing to urinate!

Right now I am just scared that I will become incontinent or something. I had a HOT shower today to help my sinuses and I had to pee so bad when I was in there, every ten mins or so. Was it the hot water? I'm still having it and I didn't feel this bad earlier today though the IC symptoms started up the other day. And I masturbated today and the day before yesterday. ARGH!!!

Thank you for being here, ladies. I thought i was going nuts!

[leelee88]

Mena,

What you are describing is very common with people with IC.. Its like you always have this aroused kind of feeling after reaching an orgasm..For me it never goes away I feel aroused and like I have to pee all the time. My doctor said it was nerve damage and presribed me Cymbalta and Elavil..I think I would have went crazy if the meds had not worked..
I have been doing alot of reserch on this and have come to the conclusion for me is that I damaged the nerve from masterbation with a vibrator..The doctor said that this could very well be possible..
Well I hope you get some relief soon..
Also I would like to invite you to our other web site..It was created by the some wonderful person who created the ICN..

http://www.whensexhurts.com/forum/

[jen74]

Hi there.
I also get more pain with orgasm. My hubby and I have not even had sex for months, close to a year probably. We try to be intimate in other ways ( cuddling, hugging, playing , etc.) But I do notice that after I orgasm, at first things feel numb down there for the first five minutes afterwards, then comes the pain. So yes, I really do believe that it can make the bladder worse since everything is connected down there, I mean all the nerves.
Jen

[Angeles]

I thought having an orgasm was good b/c it relaxed thre pelvic floor muscles...and that is good for IC....Am I wrong?

[IrritatedByIC]

Deviation!! Thank you *SO MUCH* for posting this! Like Mena, I was *SO* excited about seeing this post too!

Masturbation is my biggest IC trigger and now I can understand why and hopefully do some of the preventative/post work to prevent getting irritated or even getting a UTI or just a flare from this.

My partner will be very happy to hear about this, since this is our main way of being intimate (because of our orientation). She and I always tried to find alternate ways, like someone mentioned, hugging, cuddling, touching, kissing, etc. But now that we can go back to this, she'll be really happy. And so will I. :)

Thank you *SO MUCH* again!!!!!

[deviation72]

Hi IrritatedbyIC (and hi everyone else! :-) )

I'm really glad my post, and the subsequent replies, have been helpful. I posted it one night when I was in tears after yet another flare from masturbation.... and I have a female partner so manual stimulation is my main way of being intimate too! So its doubly frustrating..... I think the flares I get from this are the worst I get - worse than when I'm naughty and drink wine, eat things I shouldn't or the like. At times it just seems so unfair - but some of the tips here have been helping. The pain is still there, but not as bad - and less pain is better than no change at all.

Hope everyone is well :-)

[IrritatedByIC]

Hi Deviation,

Thanks for replying. Nice to meet you, Kirsten! Your post and the replies have most definitely helped. Nice to know that there's others out there that masturbation is their main source of intimacy. Yeah, I would say that it's the worst of all flare triggers too. It does seem *very* unfair. Yeah, the tips help cut down on the pain or prevent them, if you're lucky.

Feel free to private message me if you want to talk further, since we have so much in common.

[A.J.]

Hi ladies,
I went to the WSH forum and was so happy to see all of the topics. Thanks so much for the suggestion! Except when I tried to post it told me I wasn't allowed, even though I signed up and went to the activation link in an e-mail they sent me. Hmm....

[strobers]

For some reason the Uro's I've seen and my general GP, refuse to see a connection between my urgency/frequency symptoms and masturbation, even though all my problems started immidiately after masturbating, which was around April 6th of this year. Although I don't have pain, the first two months or so, I would get urgency to void so bad that I would curl up in a fetal position and lay on the floor. Even after voiding, I would feel exactly the same way. It was the most horrible thing I have ever lived through.

At this point I am a lot better. Although I still get frequency and urgency, it's containable and I'm able to deal with it, although it is still annoying and affects the quality of my life. I've reached a ceiling in my recovery and I haven't been able to break through to where I was before April, which is very disheartening.

I haven't had sex with my wife or masturbated since April. Frankly, I'm too scared that I will go back to where I was in April and May. I've always wondered that if my history of chronic masturbation going back to when I was seven, and I mean sometimes two or more times a day, damaged my nerves and led to my having this problem. The last time I tried to masturbate, which was about a week after I did the first time, which started this nightmare, my orgasm wasn't even normal. It wasn't pleasureable. It was very unfullfilling. It was as if I had an internal short curcuit. The sad thing is that I can't get anybody to believe that masturbation has anything to do with my problem. Yet, all the regular tests show that I'm completely normal. My only issue continues to be frequency and urgency.

I wish I could reach inside myself, press a few buttons and pull a couple of levers so I can be normal again. :pray:

[IrritatedByIC]

Sorry you have/had so much pain/discomfort with this. You're not alone.

I have a feeling that the GP's and Uro's are going to start making the connections. Most of the times, when they make connections, it's because of us "patients." It's hard to believe in coincidence at this point. That's why it's important to share our experiences. If no one tells them, they can't make the connections.

[IrritatedByIC]

OMG, I am in tears. I have never had a flare this bad, in my life. My partner and I had sex at 10:30, we stopped, I peed at 11:30 and then we did a little bit more before we went to sleep at 12:30. I woke up at 2:30, having to go to the bathroom *SO* bad. Then, I woke up again at 4:45, and I had cramps, back pain, etc *SO* bad. I haven't been able to sleep since. I am so frustrated, tired and in *WICKED* pain. I've never experienced this pain ever. I'm overwhelmed.

Please if anyone can give me some symptom relief, please write me. I am not on any IC meds yet. :bow:

[deviation72]

IrritatedbyIC - have you tried some baking soda/bicarb soda (sorry don't know what it's called outside Australia)? It's the only thing that helps my flares caused by sex. I usually have half a teaspoon in a full glass of water. It tastes terrible but it works for me. That and some anti-inflammatory painkillers (strong ibuprofen) usually do the trick....

I hope you're feeling better soon :grouphug:

[IrritatedByIC]

Hi Kirsten,

I haven't tried that yet. Thanks for the suggestion! I also use healing foods - i.e. - Parsley tea (which is proven to prevent UTI's), pineapple/pineapple juice (which is proven to reduce inflammation). And of course, water. :)

Thanks for replying!

[GriffsMommy]

Just as a side note, some IC patients find ibuprofen to be VERY irratating to their bladder. I can take it if I take prelief with it but one time I forgot to take the prelief and my bladder freaked out on me, so be careful.

[strobers]

OMG, I am in tears. I have never had a flare this bad, in my life. My partner and I had sex at 10:30, we stopped, I peed at 11:30 and then we did a little bit more before we went to sleep at 12:30. I woke up at 2:30, having to go to the bathroom *SO* bad. Then, I woke up again at 4:45, and I had cramps, back pain, etc *SO* bad. I haven't been able to sleep since. I am so frustrated, tired and in *WICKED* pain. I've never experienced this pain ever. I'm overwhelmed.

Please if anyone can give me some symptom relief, please write me. I am not on any IC meds yet. :bow:

But when I used to flare bad I always had a Vicodin handy. If anything it will give you some temporary relief. I can relate to your agony. I'm a man, but have experienced it in my own way. It's enough to make you jump through a window. I hope things have settled down a bit. What has worked wonders for me is taking the Desert Harvest aloe verde pills. I take them religiously every day and I haven't had a bad flare in over a month. However, I still have to be careful about eating certain things like O.J. and nuts. Things will get better. You are in our prayers.

[deviation72]

I agree that ibuprofen can be irritating, so do be careful if you try it. For me, and I've been officially diagnosed with IC, it's one of the only things that works, and I've tried a lot of things....

Also be careful of pineapple or pineapple juice - the acid in it can be irritating if you have IC. Pineapple is my favourite fruit and I haven't been able to eat it or drink p/apple juice in nearly 5 years :( One taste is a guaranteed flare....

IrritatedbyIC, have you tried the elimination diet yet? I found that eliminating most citrus and other acidic foods made a huge difference.

[IrritatedByIC]

Just as a side note, some IC patients find ibuprofen to be VERY irratating to their bladder. I can take it if I take prelief with it but one time I forgot to take the prelief and my bladder freaked out on me, so be careful.

Yeah, I can't take it anyway because of having asthma. What's prelief? I keep hearing about it.

[IrritatedByIC]

But when I used to flare bad I always had a Vicodin handy. If anything it will give you some temporary relief. I can relate to your agony. I'm a man, but have experienced it in my own way. It's enough to make you jump through a window. I hope things have settled down a bit. What has worked wonders for me is taking the Desert Harvest aloe verde pills. I take them religiously every day and I haven't had a bad flare in over a month. However, I still have to be careful about eating certain things like O.J. and nuts. Things will get better. You are in our prayers.

I wish I could take Vicodin but I'm allergic to that. I do have an alternative - Bach's Rescue Remedy - Flower Essence. Yeah, it really does want to make you jump through a window! They have settled down, thanks. I haven't heard of those aloe verde pills. I'll look into that. Thanks. Yeah. Thanks for the prayers.

[IrritatedByIC]

I agree that ibuprofen can be irritating, so do be careful if you try it. For me, and I've been officially diagnosed with IC, it's one of the only things that works, and I've tried a lot of things....

Also be careful of pineapple or pineapple juice - the acid in it can be irritating if you have IC. Pineapple is my favourite fruit and I haven't been able to eat it or drink p/apple juice in nearly 5 years :( One taste is a guaranteed flare....

IrritatedbyIC, have you tried the elimination diet yet? I found that eliminating most citrus and other acidic foods made a huge difference.

Yeah, I can't take it anyway because of having asthma. Oh I didn't think about the acidic pineapple juice! *smacks forehead* I'll look up another food that's anti-inflammatory.

No, I haven't tried the elimination diet yet. I'll have to look it up. Yeah, I'm sure. I did hear though that Cranberry juice is bad for IC'ers. So I've stopped drinking that. I'm going to look at the diet today.

Thanks, again.

[Angeles]

Hey, maybe taking an muscle relaxer after (or right before) any type of sex, including masturbation can help + a pain med right after or before. It is much easier to PREVENT pain if you know sex is a trigger , than after it already started.
Other alternatives are piridyum, prosed, etc, but those you have to take a few hrs before to give it time to get to the bladder.

I find it better for me to have sex during the day so that I can flush antyhing to avoid an infection by peeing a lot, drink lost of water, laying in the couch and watch a movie or take a pain med and muscle relaxer + prosed (a whole project)
Hugs,
SMR

[IrritatedByIC]

Hey, maybe taking an muscle relaxer after (or right before) any type of sex, including masturbation can help + a pain med right after or before. It is much easier to PREVENT pain if you know sex is a trigger , than after it already started.
Other alternatives are piridyum, prosed, etc, but those you have to take a few hrs before to give it time to get to the bladder.

I find it better for me to have sex during the day so that I can flush antyhing to avoid an infection by peeing a lot, drink lost of water, laying in the couch and watch a movie or take a pain med and muscle relaxer + prosed (a whole project)
Hugs,
SMR

Thanks, those are great ideas!! :)

Yeah, my partner works during the day, but maybe early evening or I can do it during the day by myself, LOL!

Hugs!

[harleybluz]

I'm surprised to read that Doc's don't put this together. An orgasm is essentially a spasm of internal organs. Why wouldn't they think that it 'wouldn't' cause pain and flares afterward? It seems that we know more about this disease than they do at times. What really sux is that I haven't even had sex in approx 6 months because I'm afraid to. Somethings gotta give on this deal. My husband is as understanding as it gets but come on, sex is pretty important in our life and we shouldn't have to give it up or pay for a week afterwards. I've tried different positions and came to the conclusion that it's the actual orgasm that is causing the spasms which is really what a flare is.

[Bekah79]

I am in the same boat with you girls. Sex is becoming miserable for me lately. I agree with you about he doctors not knowiing enough about this disaese. My husband and I are a difficult time finding a position that doesn't casue me to flare.

[ophelia33]

I'm also joining WSH. Thanks Rhonda. I have IC and endo and don't know which one is the problem, but I have pelvic pain after masturbation. I just avoid it now. Yes, this does stink.

hugs,
Ophelia:hi: