Okay, THIS is just UNBELIEVEABLE!

[Sarojini]

So I posted a while back about this girl in my lab who cancelled her wedding on the day of her bridal shower, and who, a few weeks later, took a week off from work because she was just too depressed to come to the lab. At the time, the lab had to get her flowers and a sympathy card, etc...

Well, my husband came home from work today waving this piece of paper in the air and saying, "You are NOT going to believe this."

So I look at it, and this girl's wedding is BACK ON ... not only is it back on, it is THIS SATURDAY!!!

I still have no idea why it was cancelled... and obviously I have no idea why it is on again.

Not only that, but the lab is now getting her yet another card and my boss is asking for monetary gifts from everyone, to be included in this card. I'm not sure how others are reacting, but there are a lot of people that bought bridal shower gifts and had to return them several weeks ago -- Hubby is saying he doesn't want to pony up in case it gets cancelled yet again... :evilsmile

I swear, the drama in my workplace rivals Hollywood some days.

And I'm still waiting for just ONE person from that place to even email me and ask how my surgery went ....

[tigger_gal]

HA! I wouldn't even acknowledge it.. thats the biggest crock of crap I ever heard..

[Berkshire Road]

Oh Jen -- That place is just so toxic! You've gotta get out of there.

[Trishann]

Jen I am so sorry.

Sending hugs, Trishann

[dg2901]

Very weird.
I wouldnt waste my time thinking about this anymore.

take care
diana

[Julie B]

Grrrrrrrrrrrrr............someone said it............those are toxic people.........you don't need that............

[ICNDonna]

Maybe she's practicing for a daytime soap????? Sounds strange to me.......

I wouldn't send a gift, money or otherwise.

Donna

[aprilmae]

I have to agree with everyone else Jen. Poo on all of the people you work with. That whole story is crazy - just what do people think of marriage these days? Wonder if it is one of those starter marriages. Some people buy starter homes...others have starter marriages!

[Sarojini]

Yeah... I agree with you all.. as aprilmae says, "poo on them all!!!" I'm just going to ignore the whole thing, and John and I decided we are not contributing any money. We've been asked to contribute money for gifts for other people, but when one of us has been ill (either me for surgeries -- wrist, and now two Interstim surgeries, or even John -- when he was hospitalized for his heart a while back OR last week when he had food poisoning so bad he was throwing up/pooping out blood) no one has even bothered to ask how we were or gotten us anything.

Plus, we bought a shower gift for this girl, and then were told to return it (we ended up keeping it because it was a crock pot and we needed one ourselves) -- we can't keep spending money every time she cancels and then re-instates the wedding!!!

The environment is very toxic towards me there -- I think I've said this but I am applying to jobs elsewhere, and hoping to get one that does not involve laboratory science. I would like to do some science writing (grants, FDA applications, etc) for companies -- these jobs can be done from home, largely, with some trips in to the office or to the sites to discuss with the people involved. It would be ideal, but so far I have not heard from anyone.... well, we can always hope something will come through!! :)

[SandyRN]

I love what Donna said, perhaps she is practicing for her Daytime Soap? LOL What a nutcase! I think by not contributing you guys are making a GREAT statement that hopefully SOMEONE in that office will notice. Just amazing!

[Sarojini]

Oh... in addition, we're not going to be attending the wedding (I'm still healing from my Interstim surgery and really can't do that sort of thing at the moment). Still, we probably wouldn't go since it was announced so close to the date!

This is DEFINITELY a daytime soap opera situation!! ;)

[aprilmae]

Here is what I don't get......

How can someone rescheduling their wedding be more important than someone having an incision in their backside? People amaze me - they really do.

[mary124]

I agree with everyone else, I wouldn't acknowledge, send anything or go to the wedding if I were you.

Afterall, did they bother calling you to ask how your surgeries went? NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!! I wouldn't think about it any longer--- I mean, my gosh-what does she want?

[dancemomof2]

That takes some nerve! I think I would have to say No to the gift and the wedding.

[Trishann]

Jen, I hope you find a wonderful place to work, you deserve it.

Sending hugs, Trishann

[dg2901]

tune in tomorrow for the next episode of: As Beakers Turn.

[Sarojini]

Hahahahahah :biglaugh:

I should write a book about my experiences and the politics/seedy underside of science, and call it "As The Beakers Turn -- A Look at Real Life Science in the United States."

'Course, that might ruin one of my biggest hopes -- and that is that young girls go into the sciences (life and especially hard science like physics and engineering). Often girls are turned off by these, due to an outdated sense that "girls aren't any good at science." I'd love to change it, and writing a nasty expose would probably further decrease the number of Americans in general going into science (science is turning into a large group of foreign students -- Americans are few and far between, and that is sad).

[aprilmae]

Jen,

Part of my research for grad school this semester deals with girls and participation in math classes. I have this idea that if girls participated more in class (this is a responsibility of the teachers) then they would feel like they were a part of their education and then see that the sciences are a great place to be.

I have a feeling your novel would be a best seller however........people love things based on a true story!!!!

April

[Berkshire Road]

Jen and Aprilmae -- You are so right about girls in science and math. The stereotypes still persist. Listen to these two:

I was at a school board meeting, and I inquired as to how many kids in the high school were enrolled in AP Computer Science. The teacher was able to tell me, so then I asked, "And how many of them are girls?" The answer: NONE. So I said, "Do you have any explanation for that?" and the teacher actually came out and said, "Well, it's not really a women's field, is it?" :cussing: I am a Professor of Computer Science at a major University! Not a women's field!

My husband asked my daughter if she was planning to take computers (middle school) as an elective. Her response? "Nah, really only boys take that." :cussing:

Jen, maybe there's something for you to look into as a career change. Gather some statistics about boys vs. girls in Comp. Sci. and advanced math, and write that book. And/or advertise your services to school systems as a consultant, to help them figure out ways to bring more girls into math/science.

OK, that probably should have been a new thread, but it just popped into my head when I read your last two posts.

[Sarojini]

You know, that is a good idea -- that could be a great book to have out there... and the school systems around here definitely need more girls in the classes. My husband was interviewing to be a physics teacher around here for a while when we first moved to NC (he had been a teacher previously) and he found that there were hardly any positions because the kids just aren't taking higher sciences (AP Physics, AP Chemistry, etc) or math (calculus, etc) now -- and he said that even at the schools where there were such programs, the classes were mostly boys.

It makes me angry to hear that. When I was in high school I had a calculus teacher who was very disparaging towards women, but I ignored him all year... and then one day towards the end of the year, responded to one of his comments that "Women can't be engineers" with my acceptance letter to M.I.T. "Oh really?" I said, and walked out.

I ended up going to MIT and majoring in nuclear engineering; later I changed fields a bit in grad school and decided to work on the biological aspects of radiation. The weird thing is, nowadays at MIT, the male/female ratio is about 50/50, believe it or not -- it is when these students hit grad school the drop occurs. In biological sciences, women still make up half of all grad students, but only make up something like 20%-30% of tenured faculty -- tells you something about who's doing the hiring, huh? :cussing:

As for engineering, physics, etc -- the numbers of women even going to grad school in those fields is just abysmal, and I think only like 5-10% of physics faculty members are women. *SIGH*

Now, that's MIT -- it gets worse at other colleges. At other colleges women don't even bother to go into the sciences half the time, and I don't know why. Maybe because MIT is dedicated to the sciences?

Oh, I could go on and on... and if I could go on and on, maybe I COULD write that book ;)

[topcop229]

Wow...unbelievable. Not only did everyone buy gifts, then return them, then pick up the slack while she took a week off, then bought her flowers and a card....but NOW everyone is supposed to drop everything, buy MORE gifts, and show up to the wedding. That's some pretty big nerve. And on top of that, your boss tried to give you a guilt trip for taking time off in between and after your TWO surgeries!!!

I just can't believe that NO ONE in your office has bothered to email, call, send a note, NOTHING!! You are SO doing the right thing by looking for another job. They simply don't appreciate you, and even more than that, they really are toxic. You can do so much better! Even if you have to take a pay cut, sometimes it's very much worth making less money to be happy and appreciated.

[pingpong]

It's really depressing to hear about girls avoiding science and math classes. I thought we had passed that point decades ago! What's wrong with this picture?

[Sarojini]

:grouphug: Thanks Claudia... :)

I've been applying to jobs, but it's just so darn hard to find them, especially since John and I don't want to move yet again. *sigh* But I'm trying, I'm keeping at it. Every time I see a possible job I apply, and something's gotta come eventually...

After a lot of soul-searching, the ideal job for me would almost be teaching or writing health/science articles... maybe writing articles in particular. I've always loved to write, and I live for explaining science to people. I love it when somebody asks me a science question and I'm able to explain it to them in a way that makes them go, "Whoa, I SOOO get it now, thank you thank you!!!" The feeling when that happens is, to quote those MasterCard commercials, priceless.

The writing thing is hard to get into though, I would think. Maybe I could teach, and write a book on the side... or freelance science and/or health articles to magazines on the side...

Anybody out there got any job suggestions for a 32 year old who loves telling people how their bodies work inside??? LMAO :lmao:

[topcop229]

I think teaching might be right up your alley and I think you would enjoy it. It's so very rewarding and you would get that "priceless" feeling all the time! Then, like you said, you could write on the side. And, with your education, you could teach anything up to college level. There's always a shortage of great teachers!