Having a hard time letting go

[steph4308]

Besides being depressed about the whole IC drama, I'm having a very hard time dealing with the fact that my oldest daughter is about ready to leave the nest. I know women have dealt with this down through the ages and gotten through it, but I can't help feeling like she's especially anxious to flee the crazy house where mom cries and runs to the bathroom all the time. Why is it when your kids get to the age where they are fun and self sufficient they want to hit the road ASAP? I feel like an old hag. Ok, maybe because that's normal but when you're half crazy with this disease you can't help but feel useless. Anyone else have this problem?

I will say there are some advantages. She can drive to the pharmacy and grocery store for me!!!!

[ICNDonna]

It's normal and natural for kids to grow up and want to leave home, even if both parents are completely healthy. I know it's hard, but we all seem to survive.

Warm understanding hugs,
Donna

[tigger_gal]

oh I know how you feel, my daughter will be leaving home going 9 hours or so away to college in August.. I can absolutely say I will have a massive cry fest when she leaves..

[kjd]

Hi Steph

Unfortuantely its normal and natural for kids to grow up and want their independance.
it's nothing to do with you its just life I'm afraid so please dont blame yourself.
I am sure she will still need her mom even though she isnt living at home! it doesnt matter how old we get we still need our mom!

Please dont worry xx

[ihurttoo]

**sniffle** **sniffle** I am a softie! This stuff kills me! I know I will be locked up in the Psych ward when Collin leaves! He just started Kindergarten this year, and THAT tore me up! He has always been home with me all day. So, I totally know I would be a mess too.

I wish I could be there to hug you and try to keep you busy and distracted.

But, I can tell you this...I appreciated my own parents WAY more after I moved out than I did when I lived with them. I am much closer to my mother now than I was then too.

I think it is because when you live with them, you are still a child, no matter how old you are. I mean that you are a child in a sense that you take their love for granted. It never occured to me until I moved out that they were the only people who would EVER put my needs/desires above their own and who would love me more than themselves. Spouses come close, but, it is not the same.

When she is sick, she will still want YOU! Face it, we all know from experiance here that nobody gives a crap in the world if anyone is sick except their Mother. She is the only one who is capable of sustained compassion.

Also, if something really good or really bad happens, it is you she will want to tell. After all, her tragedy is personal to you, and she knows it. Her sucess is also personal to you, and she knows that too. After all, who but a mother would truly be as happy for you as you would be for yourself? Who but a Mother would be as sad for you as you would be for yourself?

Your daughter will see it too. If anything, I bet ya she talks to you more now. After all, there is no one else in the whole world that will linger over her every word like you do, wanting even more information, no matter how self-centered the topic might be. Her friends wont. They will listen out of politeness until they can start talking about their own issues. Her boyfriends wont. They will listen because they have to, but they wont be trying get her to talk EVEN MORE about her feelings! Her bosses wont, her coworkers wont. I seriously doubt her father does that either. This is the realm of Mothers, and soon she will realize that you are the only one in the world who can do that with total sincerity, and THAT is a gift!

I gotta go now, because I gotta call my Mom! **sniffle**

Biggest hugs to you,
Amy

[Bessie]

Yes....it is a normal part of life but also one of the hardest things to do is to see your children leave home. Enjoy them every second you have them because before you know it they are all grown up.

On a lighter note......I think God made teenagers obnoxious to make us want them to leave home :)

[dancemomof2]

Oh I can only imagine how this feels, I have a few years yet but I know it will be rough. Sending you big hugs.

[janelle77362]

As a young one myself who left ASAP I can tell you that it has nothing to do with mom or dad. We just want to grow and learn on our own and that can be a difficult thing to do when you are sheltered by mom and dad. Rest assured it has nothing to do with you, its just a natural desire we all have.

[dg2901]

Your child leaving home is a reflection that you've done your job correctly. Take pride in the fact that you've raised a child who has learned to be self-sufficient and will be an asset to the world.

It'll all be OK, Mom..:D
Diana
PS--my son has been talking about moving out for 1.5 yrs now; he's currently 16 and cant wait til the day comes when he can say "bye bye" to me..hahaha

[Ginny]

From what I can see of my friends who are a little ahead of the game they (our children) do come back after they have a child. Big turn around.

I am in the same boat. Second and last child about to leave. It's not easy.

Ginny