Mad At Myself...

[GEMINI]

IM STUCK IN THOUGHT AND VERY CONFUSED. IAM DISAPPOINTED IN MYSELF AT THE MOMENT. EARLY THIS MORNING I GOT MY 3RD CYSTOSCOPY FROM MY THIRD OPINION WITH A NEW URO THAT I HAVE BEEN SEEING FOR A COUPLE OF MONTHS NOW. THIS URO IS VERY GOOD, TAKES THE TIME TO LISTEN & GENTLE. THE BEST ONE I HAVE COME ACROSS. ITS STARTS OFF LIKE THIS, MY PROCEDURE 2DAY WAS A CYSTOSCOPY AND POSSIBILE OPTICAL URETHROTOMY IF THERE WAS ANY STRICTURES, BLOCKAGES OR ANY OF THAT SORT. BEFORE GETTING PUT TO SLEEP I TOLD MY URO THAT I DIDNT WANT ANY CUTTING DONE BECAUSE OF BEING SCARED WHAT THE OUTCOME MAY BE, THINKING THAT MY URINARY PROBLEM MIGHT GET WORSE. I ALSO DIDNT WANT 2 WEAR A CATHETER FOR DAYS ON. ALSO, I HAVE BEEN READING OTHER PEOPLES EXPERIENCES WITH URETHROTOMY ON THE NET LATE LAST NIGHT AND IT FREAKED ME OUT. SO WITH ME BEING SO NERVOUS AND VERY FRIGHTEND, I TOLD MY URO TO JUST DO THE CYSTOSCOPY ONLY JUST IN CASE. THINKING THAT I WOULDNT HAVE ANY STRICTURES ANYWAY BECAUSE MY 2ND CYSTOSCOPY WAS DONE THIS PAST AUG, 2006 AND THE URO DIDNT MENTION 2 ME OF HAVING ANY STRICTURES, ETC. TELLING ME MY URINARY PROBLEM IS CAUSED BY ME NOT BEING ABLE TO RELAX MY PELVIC MUSLCE. STUPID URO LADY. I WAS AWAKE DURING THAT CYSTOSCCOPY PROCESS WHICH WAS VERY QUICK AT THIS WELL KNOWN BIG FACILITY. 2DAY THROUGH MY CYSTOSCOPY, MY NEW URO TOLD MY GIRLFRIEND THAT I HAVE A COUPLE OF BLOCKAGES TOWARDS THE BACK OF MY URETHRA AND THATS WHY I HAVE A DIFFICULT TIME WITH MY URINARY PROBLEM. ALSO, THE URO MENTIONED THAT MY BLADDER LOOKS GOOD BY THE WAY. I GUESS MY I-C CALM DOWN SOME. NOW IAM REALLY REGRETTING THAT I SHOULD HAVE GOT THE STICTURES REMOVED WHEN I HAD THE CHANCE 2. I KEEP BEATING MYSELF UP MENTALLY BECAUSE OF THIS. OTHER THAN THAT THE WHOLE CYSTOSCOPY WENT GREAT, THE BEST ONE I EVER HAD. WAKING UP WITH NO NAUSEA, NO PAIN IN MY URETHRA WHATSOEVER AND NO STRONG BURNING FEELING WHEN I URINATE. SO THANKFUL 4 THAT PART. I WAS GIVEN CIPRO AND THE ORANGE PILL THAT MAKE YOUR PEE ORANGY TO TAKE FOR A COUPLE OF DAYS. OTHER THAN THAT, EVERYTHING IS ALL GOOD EXCEPT THAT IT TAKES ALOT OF LONG LONG SECONDS FOR MY URINE TO PASS AND MY URINARY STREAM IS NOT VERY STRONG. THIS IS HOW IT IS ON A DAILY BASIS BECUZ OF THAT STRICTURE BLOCKAGE, BUT WHEN I DO URINATE MY BLADDER DOES FEEL PRETTY EMPTY AFTERWARDS NOW A DAYS. I HAVE A FOLLOW UP WITH MY URO IN 7DAYS. HOPEFULLY IT WILL GO WELL AND I CAN GET ANOTHER CHANCE TO REMOVE THESE BLOCKAGES THAT EFFECTS MY FLOW RATE GREATLY. :pray: :pray: :pray:

[Sarojini]

Well, don't beat yourself up :grouphug: Now you know about the stricture problems, so you will be prepared for the removal next time. I think that will make it easier -- today, you had the fear of the unknown working against you, but next time you will know what you're up against and will be able to meet it head-on!! :)

[GEMINI]

I Came To Realize Thats How I Exactly Feel Now. When I Do Get The Procedure Done, Hopefully Soon I Am 100% Ready Now. I Hope A Miracle Will Pull Through And I Have Another Opportunity Real Soon Because I Am Mentally Ready. All Last Night And 2day/still I Have Been Having A Terrible Time Trying 2 Completely Empty My Bladder. Its A Misrable Feeling, Especially When Im Trying To Get Some Type Of Rest. I Have Been Using A Self Cath Which I Really Hate & Want To Avoid Because Of Causing Further Damage To My Urethra. It Also Hurts When I Insert It To. Its Been A Little Over A Month Since The Last Time I Needed 2 Use A Catheter. I Feel Completely Stuck. Since I Didnt Get The Procedure Done Yesterday, When This Was Going To Be 1 Of The Procedures Done(poss.) And I Only Went Through With The Cystoscopy Part Only, In Your Opinion, How Long Do You Think I Am Going 2 Have To Wait For Another Optical Urethrotomy???

[yvette]

Oh Gosh, please don't be mad at yourself....you know I thinbk you did the right thing. Speaking for myself, i've been too trigger happy and have asked to have stuff done only cause myself MONTHS of crapola and pain. Had I stopped and thought about it (like you did!) I would have saved myself SO MUCH aggravation.

And you can still go back and have it removed :)
I'm curious...was your cysto an in-office one? Or did you have the cytsocopy with hydrodistention with anesthesia? My bladder (and others here too) looks completely healthy and normal with an in-office cysto....the cysto with hydrodistension showed that indeed my bladder muscle was comprimised.

Would you be willing to try PFD therapy? It could help....I think we all tend to tense our muscles down there because we are always aware what's going on down there all the time...::::::sigh::::: awful isn't.

Again, don't beat yourself up....it's done and over, you can't go back, you know? I really think you made the best decision, and it will work out OK for you in the end.

y. :)

[GEMINI]

Wuttup Yvette. My Cysto Was At A Hospital Wit Anestheia. My Uro Told My Lady That My Bladder Looks Good. Im Not Sure If They Hydrodistended It Though. I Was Diagnosed With Ic In 2005 By Cysto And Biopsy. The Idea Of Pfd Therapy Came Up With One Of My Other Uros Also. Im Willing To Try It, But I Must Get This Stricture Blockage Removed First Becuz I Think This Is The Main Reason For All My Urinary Complications, Ya Dig. You Mentioned I Still Can Have The Blockage Removed, In Your Opinion How Long Do You Think Im Going 2 Have 2 Wait 4 This Procedure Again??? Are You Taking Pfd Therapy? How Is It Like With Helping The Tension?

[kadi]

I've had pelvic floor physical therapy & it was really really helpful. It helped me not have to strain to void, reduced the constipation problem (a bonus I hadn't expected) & lowered my pain level. And, this was even though I did not have internal PT done, all of it was external (focused on muscles of lower back, buttocks, inner thighs, psoas, etc.) My urologist referred me to a PT who had experience working with IC patients. The physical therapist also set me up with a home exercise program, which has improved my overall fitness.

If several doctors have mentioned PT to you, it's definitely worth a try:)

[kadi]

Oh, and on the removal of the strictures? I think you didn't make a mistake. Better to know what you are dealing with & make a conscious (literally!) decision....

[GEMINI]

HEY THERE.
WITH YOUR home exercise program FOR PT, WHAT ARE YOUR EXERCISE SECRETS/TIPS THAT YOU DO THAT CAN HELP STIMULATE/RELAX THE PELVIC REGION???

[kadi]

Hi Gemini,
My exercise program is yoga 3x a week (10 minute yoga tape), daily stretches the physical therapist & I determined would be most helpful. At the gym (2x a week), I use the elliptical trainer & rowing machines & do a few light weights & more stretching.

You might find the book, "A headache in the pelvis" useful if you have pelvic floor issues, it gives really good explanations & home exercises. There is also a yoga video for IC patients and books on IC/yoga & IC/stretching. You can get these things if you are interested in the ICN shop. The link is at the top of the page.

Cheers-

[waterflow]

Hi Gemini, :hi:
Don't feel bad about telling your uro to only do the cysto. I am sure he understood and glad he followed what you told him. You were nervous and it happens with everyone. I don't know how many times I have changed my mind with my uro on things. With your next appointment just explain to him why and how you would like to have the blockage removed. He sounds like a great Uro and I am sure everything will go ok when you see him next. Good luck and let us know how you do. :grouphug:

[yvette]

Gemini: I have no idea how long it take for you to be seen again...but I'm pretty stubborn and pester the crap out of people to get what I want (but I try to stay nice too). Just tell them til they listen, you are uncomfortable and really want some releif

As far as PFD goes, I've done it in the past, and I'll restart again soon....Its sometimes painful while they do it....its a lot of of massaging muscles, but its different than going to get a massage at a spa. It hurts (like sore muscles hurt) but the results are worth it...your pelvic area relaxes better. If your pelvic Floor is relaxed, its less likely to put stress on your bladder...
which makes you want to pee ALL THE TIME when it is stressed out.

You might see results in a few sessions, it may take longer. It won't be immediate but it will gradually happen. Stretches at home are similar to strtches you might do before working out or before running, but they really target the pelvic and plvic floor area. They show you all this stuff in therapy with papers that show you how to do the stretches properly :)

[GEMINI]

Rite On Kadi And Yvette For Taking The Time To Explain The/how Pt Works. Good Looking Out Everybody Who Posted, I Just Needed A Place 2 Vent And Everyones Post Uflifted My Spirit A Bit And Helped Me Realize Its Beteer To Feel Mentally Sure When You Are Going Into Something Than Not 2 Be, Ya Dig.