Ring of Pain?

[snugs812]

Also, could someone explain the "ring of pain" to me? Sex is very painful - at least getting started -- takes some time. But, once he is in (after several minutes of careful "prodding" that part goes ok. I have always thought it was because he wasnt exactly small. Again, is this something I just brushed off as normal .. and possibly isn't? LEts face it -- my husband and I rarely have sex and, until now I couldnt really put a reason on it. Well, I think I am understanding now. Please, understand, I really am not an idiot. I just have been feeling lie this I think for so long that I didn't relize I was abnormal. Very confused these days - but hopeful for answers. And if you are wondering, yes this is very emabarrasing for me to talk about. Thanks again.

[Roxie2007]

HI Snugs,
I too have that 'ring of pain' during sex. My husband isnt' exactly small either and that sure increases the problem and things have to go 'very slowly' thru most of it. It's very depressing to me because we used to have a very lively sex life.
I also have severe urethral pain after sex and trying to get that figured out for a better future.
I hope realizing the cause and effect will help both you and your husband work through this problem.
I love this site because we can be very open and discuss similar problems and vent and give advice etc.......It sure helps on many levels! Good luck!

[ICNDonna]

Extra lubricant can be a huge help. Most people with IC find that helps some.
Donna

[traceann]

Oh yes - extra lubricant can be very beneficial. Even if you don't think you need it, use it anyway. For the longest time before I was diagnosed, I had "day after" burning etc, it felt like from um, a bout of "vigourous" sex, lol. Neve occured to me it was or could be due to something else, I too wrote it off as "normal" - I even thought it could have been the condoms.

But it sounds like you take it good and slow - so extra lubricant can really really help!!!! And don't be embarrassed - sex is something that can be a challenge for us ICers - as it affects the areas involved, so any way to help it go easier is never anything to be embarrassed about! ;)

:)

[snugs812]

Thank you ... :pray:

[traceann]

You are soooooo welcome!! Have you checked out Sarojini's Sticky on the Romance and Sex board for more great ideas??? ;)

[Roxie2007]

Hi No I haven't because I can't figure out where that is.......can you tell me how to get to it? Thank you!! Roxie

[Sarojini]

Try the link:
http://www.ic-network.com/forum/showthread.php?t=22522

This should get you to the sticky. I hope some info in there is helpful.

I know I have experienced the ring of pain for a long time, and like most of you, chalked it up to him being large, me not being lubed enough, the two of us being too "rough", the brand of condoms.... anything I could think of! It'd happen during sex, in the beginning, so we'd have to go slow, and sometimes I'd also feel a deeper pain inside (which I used to think was him hitting my cervix, but now I know it's my bladder). I'd have burning afterwards a large amount of the time, and didn't even think it could be my urethra; I'd have to keep getting up to pee, and I'd blame it on drinking too much water or something.

It didn't even occur to me until later, when I was in the diagnosis process, that this sex trouble was related to everything and had been for some time.

So, I am still on a quest to find what works for me, put it out there for everyone to read, and I'm hoping some of this will help you all. :D Please add your own tips too :)

[Roxie2007]

Thank you for the link! Sounds like great suggestions! Roxie