Just THINKING about sex and I hurt...really!

[SandyRN]

Ok, well, we TALKED about maybe trying to get frisky later...Thats ALL we did was talk...about an hour later and my bladder is burning up, I'm running literally every few minutes to pee, I've taken my ms contin, muscle relaxers, pyridium and an instill trying yet again to "prepare"...WHAT is wrong with me? I mean really? I don't know if there is some sort of 'movement' or excitement that I surely CAN NOT feel down there that causes the pain, because ALL I did was THINK about having sex, or if I'm totally and hopelessly crazy!? I guess I'll see how I feel in about an hour, but I have a feeling this is going to be a sex free evening.

I feel totally nutty here!

[lisalau]

I dont think you are nutty Sandy
I think its a perfectly natural reaction. As my doc says we can never really seperate the emotional, the psychological,the spiritual and the physical. They are INTERTWINED.
Your feelings and thoughts have an immediate and uncontrollable reaction on your body. perhaps THINKING about sex aroused you? excited you? frightened you? made you nervous? All these THOUGHTS have a physical reaction, hormones are excrted, neurological processes are taking place and the result is a physical symptom and in this case, frequency and pain. I am so sorry you are experiencing this but dont add to it by thinking you are nutty, try to accept it and find ways around it. I wish i could help you more
hugs
lisa

[kadi]

Uh, yeah. Had a dream about sex one night & woke up in flare, mid-dream! Geez.

[SandyRN]

I really was thinking that I must be crazy last night. I swear, if it's not one thing it's another and THAT really depresses me! By the time I felt well enough we were both ready to fall asleep, so I guess there is always tonight. If that happens to me again...well, I dont' know what! I understand the mind/body connection, but I can't help but feel a little crazy over it. I guess it's probably all those endorphins that are released, or something. I feel really inadequate seeing as how I worked with women most of my nursing career! It's a LOT different when it's your own body.

[humpieumpumkin]

Sandy,
Have you ever heard of Pavlov's dogs? Your a nurse so I know you know what I mean. Its called classical conditioning. When you show a dog some meat and ring a bell it drools. After a period of time all you have to do is ring the bell and the dog will still drool. The dog associated meat with the bell. So basically you are just associating sex with pain since it hurts you!!! Good luck and no your not crazy, something similar happens to me 2 but not as severe.

[SandyRN]

humpieumpumkin I loved your analogy and gave me a big grin. I understand what you're saying and I really appreciate the post. I guess if I look at it that way I do feel better about it. Now how do I make it stop!? We can't stop wagging the "meat" in front of me! Sorry, I couldn't resist! Seriously, how in the world do I stop it? :)

[Sarojini]

Sandy, hope you're feeling better now... :) You're not the only one; I can be having a good day and then my husband says, "Wanna do it?" or something along those lines, and five minutes later something hurts down there -- that is, IF it hurt the last time we did it. Sometimes, I can fight my way through it and go for it anyway, and it can be good again for a while. I figure, if I never try, it'll never be good again, and I'll always tense up! *shrug* Gotta hate IC.

[Roxie2007]

HI Sandy, I saw your message and had to write.
I too have pain just thinking about sex. It's good to hear I'm not the only one. I feel so guilty when I have to tell my husband (when he's in the mood) that I'm having pain. He takes it all well but still........It's very depressing since we used to have a great sex life. I've tried doing all the things you mentioned Before we decide to have sex....and still I end up in pain before we actually get started....ugh!!!!!! Good luck tonight! Roxie

[SandyRN]

Don't ya love how romantic guys can be? "wanna do it?" LOL! I have heard that more than once in my life! I guess because the last time was so terrible I'm terrified it will happen again. I just bit my tongue and didn't say anything, but I found out the next day that he knew and told me he understood. I guess I just need to be more open and frank about it. It's so much easier to counsel someone else on this!! I did everything I know to do to stop it from hurting, there is nothing else! Maybe guided imagry, or a lovely scene painted on the ceiling? Or picturing Pavlov's dogs? I dont know....I'm being silly here because I just dont know how to stop it.

Roxie, thank you so much for the post. It really helps to know that I'm not alone in this. Thats why I love this board so much, no question is stupid, or strange around here! BTW, it's nice to meet you...:welcome: to the board!

[Roxie2007]

HI Sandy, Thanks for the welcome. This really is a great site. It does help to hear from others who have the same pain and problems I do and to share stories. Roxie

[humpieumpumkin]

This may be weird I know, but everytime I feel ok, I try to initiate sex 'to get it over with' so I dont feel guilty about dening Jake other times.:loco: Its a terrible cycle we live in.

[ICLori]

This disease really wreaks havoc on our sex lives. :(

I used to get car sick as a kid. It got to the point where I'd start feeling sick to my stomach even just getting in the car, without the car moving. I think our minds and our bodies do have a connection that way.

Blessings,
Lori