Feeling worthless

[mydimples6]

I have been so depressed and feeling worthless lately. I can't do the things that I could once do with my kids, the intimacy in my marriage isn't the same as it used to be, and I honestly just feel like a freak most of the time, complaining about my evil bladder that has taken over my whole life. How do so many of you do this with such a great attitude? I pray and pray and pray, and sometimes I have strength, but other times I just want to crawl in a hole and hide from the rest of the world.

I've been flaring for weeks now, with little relief. My husband is very supportive, and tries to understand. But, I think that because he can't "fix it" he feels a bit helpless. The people that I work with treat me like I am a freak, because I don't look sick. I really just feel so alone, helpless, and hopeless lately.

How do you deal with the constant pain, and the life changing aspects of IC? I know that I am feeling a bit sorry for myself, you all have been suffering for so much longer than I have...I just don't know how to do this.

[Kathi]

Hopefully you are seeing a uro that knows about IC. Most of us just try different treatments until we find the one that works for us. I find diet very important as well as some meds. Others find instills their savior. Just keeping trying & you will find something that will help you. Please go to our Patient's Handbook & read about all the different treatments, meds, etc. Ask your dr. to try different things to see what helps. Elmiron takes about 6 months to kick in, but many find it their help. Just don't give up or give in!!!
We all were in your shoes at one time. Hang in there kiddo. Hugs, Kathi
And you are NOT worthless or is IC your fault:smile tee

[July]

You are right. The loneliness can be overwhelming at times. But take heart in knowing that the loneliness when it comes will with time lift and pass. Things that will help are to keep being active in seeking out a treatment that will work for you, including connecting with people here. (For me, the loneliness gets worse if I am not active in seeking out treatment.) Also, remember that your family is happy to have you with them and nothing can take that away, not even your illness, so do not feel that you are alienated from them because of your bladder.

For the coworkers who seem to look at you strangely, it is probably a lack of knowledge about an illness they are unfamiliar with.

[tigger_gal]

first off and foremost:
YOU ARE NOT WORTHLESS
We have all been there and feel like that. Are you taking any type of antidepressants? elival is one and it helps the pain. I my self take wellbutrin xl. I and others can so relate to the feeling of loniness. You have us all to talk to, and we are here for your support. Don't ever think you are alone.
sometimes it takes a while to get the right combo of meds to help you.
I think the antidepressant is the most important one, you are depressed because you are in pain, and what ever else may be going on in your life.
sending you hugs

[ICNDonna]

Many ICers have benefitted from seeing professional counselors. An IC diagnosis is not easy to accept, but counselling does help. And antidepressants can have a double benefit --- not only do they help with the depression, but they can also interfere with the pain receptors in the nervous system so they also help with the pain. I encourage you to talk with your doctor about trying one at a low dose.

Warm encouraging hugs,
Donna

[SandyRN]

You work full time in a hospital, right? Don't you guys have an EAP that you can call to get confidential, and usually free counseling? I did it when I was having marital problems years back and then again when I began getting sick right before I left my job. It really might help you to talk to someone. One thing I've seen you say over and over is how much you love your job and how important it makes you feel. You still have that, and that in itself is a HUGE accomplishment. You are still working, and even if you have to stop one day due to your illness, you are doing something very important and are helping people. You can hold onto that for the rest of your life whether you are working or not...you have made a difference in someone's life!

Men are like that, they want to FIX everything and if it can't be FIXED then they don't know what to do. I'd talk to your husband about it...he sounds like a good guy and might surprise you when you have a heart to heart with him.

I'm so sorry you're feeling like this...I wrote a long thread about how worthless I felt a week or so ago. It happens to all of us, but sometimes if you just stop, and look around at what you HAVE instead of what you don't have you might see things in a different perspective.

I know it's hard, and all the talk in the world isn't going to make your IC go away...it's a process of grieving in a way, and it seems to cycle for a lot of us...we do ok for a while, then that useless feeling creeps in again.

You can pm me any time....I understand what you're going through at work because I've been there!

Take care of yourself, Sandy

[mydimples6]

Thank you all so much for your support, and advise! It means a lot to me just to know that you all have been through this, and understand. I guess that this is a process that we all have to go through. I had never thought of it as grieving, but that is exactly what it feels like. I am going to call my uro on monday and talk to him about putting me on an anti-depressant. UGH, I HATE doing that!

I am feeling much better today, don't know why...I am still flaring, and had a hard time sleeping last night. Maybe it is because I've decided to look for another job. One that is less physical. Even though there will be challanges on any job, I think it would be easier on me physically if I worked in an office.

It is so wonderful to have you all here to talk too. Someone who has been there and is going knows exactly what I am going through. Bless you all!

Thanks again,

Lisa

[Big Red]

I know the feeling. I go through most days feeling worthless. My husband is having problems at work and I feel worthless because I can't go to work due to pain. I also feel worthless because I NEVER seem to get my housework all done.