miz_sunshine87
01-17-2007, 07:34 PM
I feel a bit like I'm writing into an advice column here, but I figured I would ask you ladies (and gentlemen) an opinion on something here, because you have all been so helpful.
So here's the background story:
Back in October I went to a dance and ended up getting friendly with a guy in once of my classes (I'm in college). I'd had my eye on him since september, but never said a word to him until then. We ended up going out to lunch after our classes a few times, and ended up talking for hours. At first I thought he might have been interested in me because he came up with excuses to touch my hands, whisper in my ear, etc. We also talked online all the time, and finally I got up the nerve to ask him out to a movie (I was getting impatient lol). We end up going out on christmas eve, and I end up back at his place (definately not planned, very messy room). At 1am his ex-girlfriend (also in our class so I know her) calls him, saying she got into a fight with her current boyfriend, and needed him to pick her up. He hesitated, saying he was busy, but would get her if she really needed him to. She said to forget about it. I knew they were still really close, but this really put the icing on the cake. Why must I always fall for guys that are still madly in love with their exes? Anyways, I quickly get over this and end up having a great night. We made out, but he was very respectful and all "above the waist". When I get back to class about a week later, a friend of mine from the class pulls me aside and tells me that the guy told her that him and I "hooked up over the break". Excuse me? Hooked up? To me this connotes much more than actually happened, besides, why on earth is he telling my friends about this? Well apparently he told her about it that very night, so I rationalized things and decided that he was probably so excited that he just had to tell somebody. When I mentioned what had happened, my best friend in montreal (where he was on vacation) told me that he had told her the same thing (he does not know her at all, and in fact only met her that once). At this point I am getting a bit tee'd off, and I feel like I was made into another notch on his belt. But of course, I still like him so I let this one slide too. When he gets back from montreal, he calls me at night and I literally have to hang up on him after an hour of talking. We had made plans to meet last Sunday. Saturday night I end up seeing him again at another dance. I dance with him until my feet are ready to fall off, and he even kisses me right there on the dancefloor (actually it is debateable as to who started it, I'd say it was mutual). Anyways, the next night (Sunday) he doesn't even call to cancel our plans, but later tells me he was "tired". Well so was I but a phone call would have been nice. Now I think he is ignoring me. We don't talk in class, and when I message him I get one word answers, and I really have no idea why. Something must have happened during or after saturday night. Did one of his friends make a snide comment about our behaviour at the dance? Maybe they didn't approve of me, and thought he could do better? Maybe he thought I came on to him, and he only kissed me back to be polite (sorry man but if your face is half an inch away from mine I am going to kiss it). Who knows, maybe he is shacking up with the ex again? Even my friend's mother who is psychic warned me that "a guy in my life is a good person, but doesn't know what he wants". I know I should probably just forget about him, but it's hard. He's probably average looking, and he's shorter than me, but I am attracted to him (obviously, I wouldn't be writing this if I weren't).
So ladies and gent's, now comes the golden question: What on earth is going on in this guy's head? Did I embarrass him? Does he think I am a slut? Is he getting back together with her?
Further complicating matters is that I think I may also be developing feelings for a close male friend of mine. He's made it no secret that he is interested in me, even after I told him about my IC (he is the only male that I have told about it). I wasn't at all attracted to him for the longest time, but he is so funny and sweet... even if I am having a bad IC day and the laughter physically hurts, I will feel better after laughing at his corny jokes.
I don't even know why I am spending so much time thinking about this junk anyways. It's nice to "worry" about something other than health related issues though.
A part of me like this is a bad time to start a relationship anyways... with my IC being all unpredictable, and the (mostly bad) sexual side effects... I feel like it wouldn't be right to lure a guy in, only to have him find out he is stuck with a sickly girl.
Anyways, thanks for reading this soap opera of mine. If anyone can tell me what on earth this guy is thinking (or what I am thinking for that matter...I am quite confused myself) it would be greatly appreciated!
So here's the background story:
Back in October I went to a dance and ended up getting friendly with a guy in once of my classes (I'm in college). I'd had my eye on him since september, but never said a word to him until then. We ended up going out to lunch after our classes a few times, and ended up talking for hours. At first I thought he might have been interested in me because he came up with excuses to touch my hands, whisper in my ear, etc. We also talked online all the time, and finally I got up the nerve to ask him out to a movie (I was getting impatient lol). We end up going out on christmas eve, and I end up back at his place (definately not planned, very messy room). At 1am his ex-girlfriend (also in our class so I know her) calls him, saying she got into a fight with her current boyfriend, and needed him to pick her up. He hesitated, saying he was busy, but would get her if she really needed him to. She said to forget about it. I knew they were still really close, but this really put the icing on the cake. Why must I always fall for guys that are still madly in love with their exes? Anyways, I quickly get over this and end up having a great night. We made out, but he was very respectful and all "above the waist". When I get back to class about a week later, a friend of mine from the class pulls me aside and tells me that the guy told her that him and I "hooked up over the break". Excuse me? Hooked up? To me this connotes much more than actually happened, besides, why on earth is he telling my friends about this? Well apparently he told her about it that very night, so I rationalized things and decided that he was probably so excited that he just had to tell somebody. When I mentioned what had happened, my best friend in montreal (where he was on vacation) told me that he had told her the same thing (he does not know her at all, and in fact only met her that once). At this point I am getting a bit tee'd off, and I feel like I was made into another notch on his belt. But of course, I still like him so I let this one slide too. When he gets back from montreal, he calls me at night and I literally have to hang up on him after an hour of talking. We had made plans to meet last Sunday. Saturday night I end up seeing him again at another dance. I dance with him until my feet are ready to fall off, and he even kisses me right there on the dancefloor (actually it is debateable as to who started it, I'd say it was mutual). Anyways, the next night (Sunday) he doesn't even call to cancel our plans, but later tells me he was "tired". Well so was I but a phone call would have been nice. Now I think he is ignoring me. We don't talk in class, and when I message him I get one word answers, and I really have no idea why. Something must have happened during or after saturday night. Did one of his friends make a snide comment about our behaviour at the dance? Maybe they didn't approve of me, and thought he could do better? Maybe he thought I came on to him, and he only kissed me back to be polite (sorry man but if your face is half an inch away from mine I am going to kiss it). Who knows, maybe he is shacking up with the ex again? Even my friend's mother who is psychic warned me that "a guy in my life is a good person, but doesn't know what he wants". I know I should probably just forget about him, but it's hard. He's probably average looking, and he's shorter than me, but I am attracted to him (obviously, I wouldn't be writing this if I weren't).
So ladies and gent's, now comes the golden question: What on earth is going on in this guy's head? Did I embarrass him? Does he think I am a slut? Is he getting back together with her?
Further complicating matters is that I think I may also be developing feelings for a close male friend of mine. He's made it no secret that he is interested in me, even after I told him about my IC (he is the only male that I have told about it). I wasn't at all attracted to him for the longest time, but he is so funny and sweet... even if I am having a bad IC day and the laughter physically hurts, I will feel better after laughing at his corny jokes.
I don't even know why I am spending so much time thinking about this junk anyways. It's nice to "worry" about something other than health related issues though.
A part of me like this is a bad time to start a relationship anyways... with my IC being all unpredictable, and the (mostly bad) sexual side effects... I feel like it wouldn't be right to lure a guy in, only to have him find out he is stuck with a sickly girl.
Anyways, thanks for reading this soap opera of mine. If anyone can tell me what on earth this guy is thinking (or what I am thinking for that matter...I am quite confused myself) it would be greatly appreciated!