Still feeling like a bad mother...

[Berkshire Road]

Today my daughter was pawing through my jewelry box (not unusual) and she pulled out my gold and diamond earrings. I said, "Don't even think about it!" and she said, "It's okay Mom, I can wait till you're dead."

Now probably she meant that as a sarcastic, middle-school kind of remark. But I really think she does worry that I might die from this, even though we have tried to explain it as clearly as we can. I haven't really been well since September 05, which probably seems like forever to her. And a couple of years ago, the mother of one of her classmates did die.

I had to take her to the eye doctor today. My parents drove us and tried to help, but I had to be the one to go in with her and make decisions (new frames? Contact lenses, two-week or monthly? etc.) They have this awful set up where half the tests are done downstairs, and then you have to go up a double flight of stairs to see the actual doctor, and the whole thing took almost two hours. By the time we got home I had had it, I just crashed in bed and my parents took Susannah to their house for dinner. Now we have to go back next week to get the new lenses put in the old frames, have her trained to use contact lenses, see the doctor to make sure the lenses are sitting correctly on her eyes... then they send her home with a loaner pair of lenses to see how she does, then we have to go back again :headbang:

And she has to see the dentist and then the orthodontist in the next two weeks. Why does everything have to come up at once? At least DH may be able to take her to one of those.

Oh, and we got notices from the vet saying our dogs are overdue for their various shots... of course...

Now today Susannah started coughing this deep, painful cough, and I'm worried that she may have caught bronchitis from my mother. We haven't even finished out the meds for last week's ear infection, and she' sick again. I guess this is the bad mother part -- I'm starting to feel irritated instead of sympathetic when she gets sick. I'm a horrible person.

Ever feel like you just have too many people hanging off you, and the weight is more than you can carry?

Maybe next month will be quiet (please, please...)

[Zygala87]

Hello Carolyn. You are not a bad Mother! I find that IC can cause me to even hate having to clean the kitchen. It is the nature of the beast. At times it can take over our body and minds. Dealing with a Middle School child can be very wearing in it's self. Long before I ever heard of IC and I was dealing with two kids, I would at times become very exasperated. They are high maintenance, emotional and needy. You are dealing with many things such as pain and worry. A sick child just adds to the heavy weight. I bet you care very much. You are just upset as to what to do for her and wish you didn't have to deal with it. Cut yourself some slack. Most Mothers feel the same at times. I really care about you and find it refreshing that you are in touch with your feeling. Maybe venting here is some help for you. Hugs, Ziggy

[ICNDonna]

Sounds like normal feelings to me. I remember when my children were small --- if one came home with a virus, I recall thinking how many weeks it might be before the last one would be well enough so I could have a peaceful night sleeping.

Donna

[Sarojini]

Listen, I don't have any kids, but I DO have a husband who acts like a child when he is sick, and I find myself getting resentful when he comes home on a weekend with a virus -- will I have to wait on him? Who's going to help with the chores? Will I GET the virus and will that trigger a flare??

Ugh. You're not a bad mother, and I'm not a bad wife... I think these are just normal feelings when you need help yourself, but it seems there isn't much available...

:grouphug:

[Berkshire Road]

Thanks, guys. :)