Need to hear from you ladies...

[mick]

I am 39 year old male that has suffered with Ic for the last 5-6 years but I have only been correctly dianogsed for the last 2+ years. I started dating a nice women a few months ago and this will be my first new relationship since being dianogsed with IC. I wanted to find out if anyone out there would be willing to suggest some reference materials or advice that I could read up on that might allow me to focus on my partner w/o creating a painfull situation for myself (which conventional/traditional intercourse creates so much pain that I would have to take oxycodone to deal with this problem.)

I don't know any males that suffer with IC to ask and this is not a topic that most men would be willing to talk about. I know that I could ask my partner about things but I kind of wanted some ideas prior to that discussion.

Thanks to anyone willing to give me insight on this matter.

mick

[ihurttoo]

The founder of this website, Jill Osborne, has recently started a website specifically for problems such as yours. It is www.whensexhurts.com The site is only a month or so old, but there are already several posts with tips from other people. There are alot of IC people there, but it is geared for anyone who struggles with pain during sex. That would be a good place for you to check out. Hope this helps! Hugs, Amy

[ICNDonna]

There's also a section in the Patient Handbook that might help answer your questions.

Donna

[Berkshire Road]

There are some genuinely excellent books on cunnilingus -- you can search on Amazon, seriously.

The most important thing is communication. A lot of women place more importance on kissing, cuddling, and petting than they do on penetration.

If your lady want penetration badly enough, there is also such a thing as a dildo! I know I'm being very frank here but it seems like it's called for.

I'm thinking most women would be thrilled to have a relationship with a man who took the trouble to work out ways to please her!

[mick]

Thanks Carolyn for the recommendations. I will try search for more about this topic like you mentioned as well as trying to continue to have strong communication with my significant other.

mick

[curlette]

Amy, just read you reply to Mick, and couldn't help identifying with you. You are going through everything that I've gone through 10-14 years ago. I'm 55 and married to wonderful 2nd husband. I was diagnosed with colitis, then IBS, started taking terrible meds, atropine, to stop the diarrhea, then started having periods for 3 weeks of every month. 3 D&C's later, they put me on steroids that swelled me up to double my normal weight and later performed a total hysterectomy. That was a botched job, they had stapled right through my colon while trying to close me, and as a result, I was rushed back to Emerg. but had to wait almost a week before they could get me back in surgery and they had to remove 12 feet of my colon because it was so badly damaged when they had tried to staple my cervix to the neck of my bladder. Nothing but infections since, and I've taken so many antibiotics, that I don't have any natural protection to prevent constant urinary infections, bladder and this past summer, a really severe kidney infection that ended with me in hospital where they "burned" my veins out trying to give me some antibiotic that the infection was sensitive to, cause it seems I've pretty well run the gammet of antibiotics. So, I don't know what the future holds, but I certainly agree with you that prayer does help and thanks for giving Mick some help, it must be even worse for him. Love to all of you and try having a good laugh every day.

[Justalamp]

Mick,
My hubby has a wonderful book on cunnilingus he got from Amazon. It is called The Ultimate Guide to Cunnilingus By Violet Blue. It is a very good book. And my hubby went from being good at "that" to being AWESOME!!!! I think it was about 10 bucks. I hope you find something that works for you and your partner.:smile tee

[ihurttoo]

Amy, just read you reply to Mick, and couldn't help identifying with you. You are going through everything that I've gone through 10-14 years ago. I'm 55 and married to wonderful 2nd husband. I was diagnosed with colitis, then IBS, started taking terrible meds, atropine, to stop the diarrhea, then started having periods for 3 weeks of every month. 3 D&C's later, they put me on steroids that swelled me up to double my normal weight and later performed a total hysterectomy. That was a botched job, they had stapled right through my colon while trying to close me, and as a result, I was rushed back to Emerg. but had to wait almost a week before they could get me back in surgery and they had to remove 12 feet of my colon because it was so badly damaged when they had tried to staple my cervix to the neck of my bladder. Nothing but infections since, and I've taken so many antibiotics, that I don't have any natural protection to prevent constant urinary infections, bladder and this past summer, a really severe kidney infection that ended with me in hospital where they "burned" my veins out trying to give me some antibiotic that the infection was sensitive to, cause it seems I've pretty well run the gammet of antibiotics. So, I don't know what the future holds, but I certainly agree with you that prayer does help and thanks for giving Mick some help, it must be even worse for him. Love to all of you and try having a good laugh every day.
Wow! You and I really have had similar paths! The more I read here, the more amazed I am at the similarities with all of us. I was so relieved when I first came here, just to know that I wasnt the only one with this cluster of diseases and syndromes. I felt like such a freak! But, coming here, I feel like less of an oddity,....if that makes any sense.

Anway, just want to say :welcome: to the ICN! I am glad you found us so ou wont feel so alone anymore either. If I can help you with anything at all, please pm me and let me know.

Many hugs,
Amy

[SandyRN]

Mick, I just wanted to thank you for being concerned enough about your partner's enjoyment that you took the step to ask on here what you could do to satisfy her! I think that in itself says a LOT of great things about your character. Good for you, and lucky for your gf! :)