somewhat succsexful!!! (hehe)

[CarolineJulia]

well.... after feeling miserable about the last time i tried intercourse (which was VERY painful!!) i decided to be proactive about the situation and try new things. my pain with sex isn't really to do with vulvodynia, etc. in fact, during sex i am pretty much pain free... however about an hour after the last time i tried, it felt as though somebody had used my bladder as a punching bag. i was tender, sore and aching across my pelvis and my frequency shot through the roof again.....

i figured since oral stimulation and external foreplay don't seem to aggrivate my symptoms too much (even orgasming seems to be -okayish-) that it was the depth of penetration that my lil' bladder can't handle. a couple of nights ago my boyfriend and i tried having sex but (sorry if this is too graphic) instead of him pushing himself fully inside me, we just had intercourse with the tip of him inside me. i asked him if it still felt okay for him, and he said that the sensation of just that was actually REALLY good. i also tried holding the bottom half of him with my hand so that he could have the sensation of full intercourse, without having to have full penetration. (and of course used LOTS AND LOTS of lubrican (which i always have done- even before ic).

after we were done, i had a hot bath and relaxed for 20 minutes. then i took my meds and slept soundly through the night. so..... even though it's not completely the same as before ic, i at least feel positive that we are able to do something.... i hope one day that i can have normal sex like before... and eat normal things.... and basically BE NORMAL, but i'm still waiting for the elmiron to kick in. keeping positive though!

thanks for all your support. just wanted to share this story so that if anybody else was feeling discouraged, they might try something like this to see if it works!!!! it's worth a try!! (even if you are scared at first, like i was!!)

[Briza]

:woohoo:
That's always cause for celebration around here!!!

[vm]

How wonderful! You must be thrilled. :)

[CarolineJulia]

Thanks ladies!!!

I find with i.c. small victories mean a lot!! It's amazing how much this condition has made me re-evaluate all those things I took for granted before...

Kim, your story is a source of inspiration for me... I read it whenever I worry that the elmiron isn't going to work for me. I'm so glad you have found success with it and I hope that I can too!!!

Love and light!

[vm]

Isn't it awesome that there are people here whose stories help buoy us up and give us hope? I sure latched on to the stories of a few ladies here. There were days that their words were the things that kept me from complete despair.

I hope the Elmiron helps you as much as it has helped me. It can take some time, so hang in there! :kissing:

[leelee88]

Caroline,

Thanks for sharing that with us...
I have been so scared to make love to my husband since my hydro/cysto.

We have been trying differant ways to satisfy each other without intercourse, but I still have felt like I have not been doing my job as a wife..
Not to mention we are newlyweds. Well after reading your post I decided to give what you tried a try and it worked!! There was no pain afterwards and one very satisfied husband.. So thanks again for the info....

[Sarojini]

That's great :) :)

I'm so happy for you. I love to hear that couples were able to be intimate despite IC -- one thing I hate most about IC is how it can destroy a perfectly good sex life, so I like to hear stories like this, because they give hope AND make suggestions for others to try!!! :D

[CarolineJulia]

leelee,

i am so happy that it worked for you too. any small victory to get back a normal life is a HUGE victory in my opinion. i too felt like i wasn't a good girlfriend... and more than that... at 23 years old, i was scared that most men wouldn't be too thrilled about dating or eventually marrying somebody who couldn't have intercourse. i know that shouldn't matter... and there are much more important things to a relationship.. but let's be honest, that is a part of it... and it's nice to feel like you can kind of participate in that kind of intimacy.

so many people on this board have helped me (even without knowing it... i've just read their posts and felt some comfort)... so i'm glad i could help with my suggestion! we're all in this together!!

love and light.

c.

[goldilocks]

:smile tee :bow: i bow down to you. Congrats. I have been dealing with the same problem for quite some time. Before I experienced symptoms of IC. I used to have a high libido, My fiance and i were matched up perfectly in that area. ( like bunny rabbits) But ever since ic came into my life everything has gone down hill. Orally i please him. But i miss that passion you feel during love making. That closeness that special bond sexually i miss. For over the past year my condition esculated. We have tried different positions , lube and myself pain killers. It still is so painfull. i try to bear with the pain as long as my pain thresh hold can . My fiance always knows how i feel i can never hide the pain. It's discouraging for both of us. He is supportive of my health conditions. Yes i have more then one condition. that should not be a shock to the peolpe out here in the forum.

We all have many heath problems were searching for cures and answers.I have Ic, IBS, bi polar,Anxiety, migrains. Muscle pain, especially back pain.

I know i could have it worse, i try to keep my head up. When i read your post i was encouraged to attemp sex again. Ill try what you did. cross your fingers for me that this just might be the solution. :angel:

[CarolineJulia]

goldilocks,

i hope you find a way that works for you!!! i can totally relate to your story... mine is very similar. it's hard to be a sexual person trapped in a body where sex has turned into something painful versus pleasurable.

i recently had full intercourse again and experienced the same pain i had the first time. luckily, having a hot bath RIGHT after sex and taking my meds seems to get me asleep that night. the next day my bladder is a bit cranky but within 24 hours i'm back to base line symptoms. it could be worse! definately can't have the marathon 100 different positions for hours sex anymore! luckily, i'm dating a guy who's a bit older and not as horomonal as guys my age! lol....

regardless... you and your man will find something that works for you. our society is so set on conventional intercourse as the only way to have sex... but sex can be about so much more than that. i've dated guys where just kissing them is more arousing and sensual then another guy i've done more with. part of the most enjoyable thing for me IS pleasing my boyfriend... so finding other ways to pleasure him is still rewarding.

hope the half-way technique helps you out!! good luck!!