Slap the sick people silly!!

[waterflow]

If one more person tells me what I am capable of doing I am going to slap them to the next galaxy. Know someone who is mad because I won’t travel 4 hours to their house. I am not up to traveling that far. Would take morphine to do it and I am not about to get on that stuff. It's bad enough taking the vicodin and I'm only having to take that now because I spent over 1 year helping my mom and I had to push myself to do. Then in the end I found out she didn't care about me. Just because they travel with a back problem here they say I just don’t want to make the trip! :mad: Oh well, not going to bother with them anymore. They have said other things to me and who needs them but I am tired of other people who are sick making it out like I am just lazy and nothing that bad wrong with me. UGH! :mad: :mad: Stupid people. THis is turning out to be one bad Christmas. :evilsmile

[leelee88]

Its your life!!
They dont have no right to judge you. If you dont feel like going, thats your choice..I think to many people jugde IC because its not a visable disease, Like my sister she thinks its all in my head..grr makes me just wont to hit her in the gut and say.....Now! is that pain in your head?..lol I would never do that, but I sure think about it:lmao:

You are right about an 4 hour drive, I wouldnt even attempt that, heck Im fussing because we have to drive an hour to my brothers, and thats IF I feel up to it, I am learning quick , with this IC crap, that its my body and If I want to do something I do, but if I dont feel up to it, then thats my choice to say NO, heck with all the people it bothers, they are not the ones in pain and having to deal with peeing all the dang time!!!

Well take care girly and if you need me im here for you!!!

[Trishann]

Waterflow, I am so sorry you have to go through this. It is awlful when people don't understand what you are going through. You know your limitation and know what you can or cannot do.

They must really like you for them to ask you to travel for 4 hours to their house. I hope somehow they can understand why you can't come.

Just sending hugs, Trilshann

[waterflow]

Ronda, I'll give you their name and address and you can go beat them up for me, ok? ;) I am so ticked off and went for groceries this morning too which makes it worse. Feel really lousy and worn out. I am learning it is my body and I am the one who has this IC not them.

Trishann, they don't really like me. They've said some really awful things and I still managed to put up with them. They are now saying this to be stinky about me not going to their house. They're sort of demanding it.

Oh, yeah I forgot about having to pee every 15 minutes going there too and there are NO restaurants on the highway. Just potty stops and I hate using those things. They are so creepy. Never know who will be there waiting for you. Better not to be the person in my way of getting the box of twinkies this morning too. The person could lose a finger. :D

[meme]

I don't blame you for not going on a 4 hour trip to see people you could care less about. Was supposed to go with my hubby to his side for x-mas next weekend. Its a 3hr drive so I said no way. I have a cruise coming up and there's just no way I'm willing to risk feeling bad. I don't think that people understand that when you get a flare it doesn't just go away as soon as the car ride ends. Those can last for days. Riding in vehicles always bothers me. I don't know why they're so insistant that you go if they say mean things to you. I think some people just like to try to control others. Try not to fret about it to much. You've made up your mind so don't worry about it.

[kadi]

I think Leah hit the nail on the head when she said that some people just like to control others. There's no reason to be rude about someone declining an invitation, even if disapppointed.

IC turned out to be an excellent friend-selection process. My true friends stuck with me, people who were self centered or overly demanding fell away. And, today, I do not miss them. I thought I missed them when it first happened, but today, I look back on the situation & realize that I miss the lifestyle I had, but not those individuals. I miss being able to go out to ethnic restaurants, miss spontaneity, miss the freedoms and the convenience I had before IC. But, I do not miss people who only valued what I could do with or for them, and not who I really am.

Be kind to yourself, a lot of people without IC would not make a four hour drive either.

[waterflow]

Kadi you sure are right about finding out who your true friends are when something like this happens. From the looks of things I guess I didn't have any true friends. I'm not to worried about losing this relative. No one really close. Just kind of nervie to me. Sorry you had to lose some of your friends too. I miss eating mexican food and salsa all the time. I could live on Salsa. I never thought either about a normal person not wanting to drive 4 hours.

Leah, I wouldn't drive for a long time too before your cruise and then maybe have to cancel. No way. Hope you have a great time on it. :) I've never been on a cruise but then I think I would get sea sick. Is this your first one?

[MOM2LEXI]

I have to put my 2 cents in here. I have 3 sisters and 1 brother and I am the oldest I am 35 and only 1 of my sisters speaks to me the others just say well we really hate it when you cancel or decline family trips so we arent inviting you anymore...that I could deal with but they are just terrible when they are intentionally mean like one day I saw my sister-in-law at the pharmacy and she says to me well if your so sick and couldnt come for my nephews party(I did send a gift and apologized) then you shouldnt be out at the store!!! I had to pick up the dmso meds.

Funny thing how rude adults are since my 8 year old understands that I am very limited on even a 1hr drive shes such a good sport. A few weeks ago at my daughters bday party my mother-in-law (exhusbands mom) said to me in front of my daughter that it wouldnt kill me to bring her to her house to see her, my father-in-law, and my ex who lives with them for a visit. She said some rude things to me and then Lexi says nana maybe you should goback to 3rd grade(she in 3rd) so she could learn her manners and how you are supposed to treat others the way you want to be treated, she then told her that since it was her party she could be in charge and pointed to a chair and told nana to please go into timeout and think about what she said and how she made mommy sad and not to come out until shes sorry....well she did go and about ten minutes later apologized to Lexi and myself for her behavior...We all seemed to have learned something here 1. Practice what you preach your children are listening and 2. Children are sometimes smarter than adults.

Dont feel bad about it....you will at least learn what I did that some people will never even try to understand and you will know who your true friends are because they will always be there and they try to understand. You do what you can and dont worry about what other peopke think.
Good Luck, Suzanne

[SrMaggie]

I feel really bad that your family is not understanding. They are the people who should be supporting you. It's good that you know yourself and what you can handle. And I admire you for being able to tell people instead of pushing it just to satisfy them.
Suzanne you are right about children. They instinctively know when people don't feel well - and they can say things that adults couldn't get away with.
I was driving with a 'friend' on a long trip and of course I had to ask several times to stop. She looked at me and said kind of disgustedly - "How can you even have anything in there so often?"
Yikes!

[waterflow]

Suzanne, your little girl is very smart for her age. You should be very proud of her. It is amazing what adults will say and what children will say. I've gotten that "if you're walking or going for grociers you must feel fine". Must be everyone has heard a different version of that.

SrMarggie, I always got the "look" from people when I told them we had to stop so I could go to the bathroom. They would get so mad at me even when I warned them I would have to pee a lot. That's why I finally just go by myself if I go anywhere anymore. A whole lot easier and I can pee as many times as I want to. :bow: Trying to hold it to please people was no fun. :shake: I must say I could write a book on public bathrooms and why is it that people are so messy in them? :hmm: Why or how do they kick a hole in the doors? :hmm: I feel sorry for the stores. They put so much money into the bathrooms to make them nice and the people destroy it. I could only imagine how their own bathrooms look. :tsk:

[Poet Laureate]

Waterflow,

I know exactly how you feel. I had to decline Christmas at my older sisters this year due to the travel time. I will spend it alone. I have found with this IC condition, you do not find many that understand it, let alone have heard of it. The comments that co-workers, friends and even family make can be so hurtful.

[MOM2LEXI]

Waterflow,
Thanks for the kind words(Sr. Maggie too) I am very proud of my daughter, she has such compassion for such small child mostly due to my IC. I can remember when she was about 2 and I always had to drag her into the public restrooms(which are so nasty) and I had to pee and it took forever to empty and she says pick up the pace mommy!lol... Another time we just came out of a stall and evryone was laughing because they heard her saying good job mommy you did it in the potty this time,yeah...now you can have a lollipop!! As for the family and friend thing dont sweat it, I did for too long and realized that the only people I need to please are my daughter and myself. We have spent many xmas & thanksgivings with just the two of us then if Im feeling up to it we usually help serve dinner a local shelter or charitable org and we remember how lucky we are to have each other and its always an experience but kind of sad when strangers treat you better than your own family/friends. Its like people dont ask a person in a wheelchair to get up and walk or run yet they expect us to not have limitations. I take a separate car when I am able to go out that way I can leave when I choose. You seem like such a really nice person and I hope they change their ways since its their loss to not have your company. I admire your strength in doing whats best for you. The rest will take care of itself. Take care, Suzanne

[waterflow]

Suzanne, kids sure do say the funniest things. :) At least she didn't start clapping when you were done. She sounds like a very smart girl from an early age. She knew potty at the age of 2. Your daughter could teach some adults a few things on how to behave. She does sound really cute. Thanks for saying I'm a nice person. :smile tee

[Trishann]

Waterflow, I am so sorry your family are not treating you right. I wish they were just stand back and take a look and see that you are really a kind person. Also you have a sense of humor, and that is great to behold.

Hang it there and sending hugs, Trishann

[donnadb40]

My family is EXACTLY like that! They live 2 1/2 hours away and sometimes, it is literally HELL getting packed up and traveling for that long!! My mother ALWAYS says "Your 87 year old grandmother travels that far all the time and she doesn't complain"!!! Well, that is wonderful and I am elated that my grandmother is in good enough health at 87 that she can still do those things but at 41, I AM NOT!!!! Some trips, it takes me DAYS just to get out of bed in small intervals enough to pack up my stuff! People without chronic pain will never understand! And, if they are like my family, they don't even try to understand. They just cannot wrap their tiny little minds around how incapacitating chronic pain is... Not to mention having to stop and pee every 20 minutes!! Sorry that you are having to experience this too Butternut! Just do what YOU feel like you are capable of doing and chalk it up to their IGNORANCE!!!

Happy Holidays!