Need encouragement, please...

[kadi]

Hello all,
I usually I manage my IC pretty well, but the last few days, it's been getting to me.

The weight gain (I weigh 25 pounds more than I did pre-IC), the diet restrictions, the financial strain, fatigue, the instillations, rarely feeling 100% for an entire day. I'm tired of it all.

The doctor told me recently that if I get an infection (UTI or bronchitis, etc.), they will have to hospitalize me for IV antibiotics, that the only oral antibiotic I'm not allergic to is Macrobid. This leaves me having to avoid my friend's children when they are sick because they always get something horrid that needs anti's and they are always sick because they are in day care. I'll have to miss my godson's b-day party Sat. because his sister has bronchitis & it looks like my friend, his mom, now has it.

I had a very bad flare on Monday, had to leave work early, cried in front of my boss over it. She was very kind, but I hate it when that happens.

Today (Thursday), I'm better, but still had discomfort all day. I didn't have to miss work over it, but I am still bummed that I went from feeling really good at the end of summer vacation to flaring again.

This week was the last week of "active" pills in the birth control pill pack & I stopped the active pills last night. So, I should get a period in 2 days or so. Could my down mood be PMS if I'm on the pill? Could being at the end of a cycle (even one controlled by bc pills) cause increased IC symptoms?

Any words of encouragement for me?

[ihurttoo]

Dear Kadi-did, (I have a neice named Kadi and that is her nickname, and for some reason, I always want to call you that too! :) )

Sorry you are in such a funk. Yes, the BC pills are probobly causing your mood change. At least they always did with me! (I had to have a hyster last year, so I dont have this particular problem anymore.) But, it always happened with me.

That must be awful being allergic to so many antibiotics. Especially since you are a teacher and around all those (germy) kids all the time! That has to be the worst possible setting for you! :(

But, on the other hand, being around them has probobly built up your immunity to many things....kind of like the staff at Drs. offices, how they rarely get sick after they have been there awhile b/c they have gotten immune to everything! So, I guess it is probobly good you are a teacher after all! :)

I know it is rough dealing with everything that IC gives us: the financial strain of medical bill and prescriptions, plus the stress and pain of daily life with it and never being able to make plans since we never know when we are going to be sick! Then there is all the diet restrictions and the fact that no one understands! But, we do have each other, and we DO understand! You know the old saying "It takes one to know one!" Well, that has never been more true than in the case of an IC patient! And we DO know!

But, in spite of all of that, you just have to remember that you only have to take one moment at a time, and deal with it the best you can. Take time for yourself and do whatever brings you comfort and joy. Whether it is getting in the tub with trashy magazines, or having a glass of wine, or gabbing on the phone with a favorite friend, or even all of those at the same time! Maybe even throw caution (and the checkbook) to the wind, and go get a massage! But, do SOMETHING for yourself today to remind you that you have a life and even in the tough times, you are capable of happiness.

One of the best things you can do is to call someone who knows you well and can be your cheerleader, and tell you all the good things about you. Just tell them you are down and need to hear what they like about you. I will start you off! These are the things I admire about you: You are very intellegent. You couldnt have finished college if you werent very smart! Also, you are very kind and compassionate, always lending a hand to someone in need. Even when you went into remission for a little while, you stayed on here trying to help others get there too, by volunteering your time here for free, to try to make a difference in someone else's life...and you did!

You have made a difference in mine many times here. In fact, you were the one who told me I needed to go to a pain clinic early on, when I first came here and was suffering and had no idea they would take IC patients. You were one of the 1st here to pm me, and when you did, you helped me by telling me to get to one, and giving me the courage to take the step that finally brought me some relief!

I cant even begin to tell you the things I have seen you do for others here! i just know that you are always there for those who need you, and you always give spot-on advice that only you could give.

You are a loving and giving person, and I am proud to know you!

I hope you will take my advice and do something special for yourself today! (Even if it is just painting your toenails a wild color!) If you do that, I hope you will think of us when you look at them and know that we sure think you are someone quite special and unique!

With much appreciation for you,
Amy

[ICNDonna]

I think it gets to all of us occasionally. I know it does me. I think the thing that helps me most is that my hubby holds me and assures me that it will be better soon.

So here comes a hug, pats on the back, and a "there, there, tomorrow will be a better day."

:grouphug:
Donna

[waterflow]

I'm sorry you are so down but after a while the pain does get to be to much to handle. I know how you feel about the weight gain and one day you feel fine and then the next just awful. One never knows what the day will bring with this. Some of the birth control pills did that to me also. One minute I was fine and then I was crying and then mad. I was not a very nice person to be around. Also, maybe the thought of knowing your period will be starting soon is making you sad too? I know I always dread the thing. I hope you start feeling better. Being down in the dumps is not fun at all. :grouphug: :kissing:
I was just thinking if you wore a mask over your mouth then maybe you could go to birthday party?

[vm]

I bet the PMS and the stress of the holidays isn't helping anything. :( Plus you've had a bad flare on top of it AND have had to miss out on gatherings with friends' kids - gatherings I'm sure you wanted to be able to attend.

Roll all that "stuff" up into one big ball and it can sock you emotionally. Each thing alone can leave you so much more susceptible to depression or just your emotions being much more on edge or fragile. Put them all together and BLAMMO. I know that is definitely true for me ---- but I never see it when I'm in the middle of it. LOL Almost always someone else has to say, "Hey - no wonder you're feeling this way. Look at all that's going on!"

I hope you feel better soon. I always tell myself when I get down (on the rollercoaster of life) that it WILL go back up. It doesn't feel like it in the moment, but it WILL. :kissing:

[kadi]

Dear Amy, Donna, Kim, & waterflow,
Thank you so much for your kind words & understanding. It really helps. Sometimes, nobody but another IC patient can understand & say the right thing. I have a pretty supportive family (my mom also has IC) and wonderful friends, but you here really know how many parts of our lives are affected. I sometimes wish I could have just one day where IC doesn't affect something, but then I realize that kind of thinking isn't very helpful and most of the time, focus on just making each day productive & positive.

It's pretty weird how I get so emotional at my period and you'd think after 24 years of having periods that I'd figure it out by now. But, I never seem to realize that PMS is the problem until the cramps start. Then, it's like "Well, duhhh."

I didn't feel great today, still having IC discomfort & cramps, but I was very happy I could go to work. And I had a good day with my students.

Thank you for the idea about small treats, Amy! My hairdresser just gave me a new nail polish for the holidays, so I'll give myself a manicure & pedicure this weekend. My mom just loaned me "The Memory Keeper's Daughter", so I''ll have some time reading by the fireplace. And I think it's time to open the box of Christmas decorations & put up the mini-tree, watch the Peanuts Xmas special... Go to brunch with Mom, Dad, Granddad & his girlfriend. (Yep, my 92 year old granddad has a girlfriend!)

Thank you all for answering my post, it helped me put things back in perspective. Hope you all have a nice weekend, too :cat:

[ihurttoo]

Dear Kadi,

I am so glad that our ideas helped! It is so weird you are getting ready to read that! The author is from Ky, (my state), and our local library is doing a kickoff program in January called "One Campus-One Community-One Book", where they will actually be giving away free books while supplies last at our local University (Western KY University), the public library on 2 days, at their kick-off rallies. (The author will also be there to autograph them.) Then, the idea is that everyone will be talking about and reading the same book at the same time, and discussing it. (There will also be all kinds of discussion groups and book club meetings for it too.) It happens in Jan, so I plan on reading it then, with everyone else in my town. But how cool you are reading it too!

Also, I gotta tell you, you arent the only one with a dating grandpa! Mine is 87 and not only still dates, he still goes out dancing every Friday and Saturday nights! And when I say he is "dating", I dont mean he goes out, every now and then! Oh, no! I mean the man is going out with a different woman, 2-3 times a week! We moved him into a retirement home this week, kicking and screaming the whole way. Now, he loves it! He says, "What's not to love? There are 4 women to 1 man around here, and I am the best option they got! The other two cant see to drive!" Little does he know that neither can he!!! :) He is also thrilled b/c they have a hot tub there. :rolleyes: He invited me to come over this week and have lunch and take a dip. I am like, "Uh, no thanks! The only thing worse than the visual of all those old ladies in their bathing suits with loose, saggy skin being pushed to the top by the bubbles, would be the sight of yours, while you are flirting with them!" He just says that he wished had half as much fun as everybody thinks he does! (But believe me, he has plently of fun! That is his whole life!:))

Anyway, good thing we dont live in the same town, or our Grandpa's would have some competition! LOL! But, at least we could read our books together and go to the book discussion together, (that is, if we felt like it!)

I am glad you have a good support system around you. I hope you have a good time at brunch tomorrow, and are feeling a bit better now.

Hugs,
Amy

P.S. I watched "Rudolph", "Frosty", "Jack Frost", and "Frosty Returns" tonite! If you lived close by, we could watch the Christmas cartoons together too! :) I had to SHH!! my 5 yr old all thru Rudolph! LOL! I felt like an old fogey, cause I kept saying, "Dont you realize how lucky you are? When I was a kid, we waited all year for these cause our only cartoons were Sat mornings! And here you are wasting Rudoloph by talking all thru it!" (Fortunately, he fell asleep before the Frosty ones came on! :biglaugh:)

[Babs RN]

Kadi,
I wanted to add my feel better wishes as well and will keep you in my prayers that this flare up and gets on out of there. You have also been there with wisdom, insight and sage advice when I have needed you most. You are a teacher, which by sheer nature makes you a giving, patient representative of a career that has the greatest impact on all of our futures. As far as the weight gain, well...all I can say is the fact that I may re-enter the dating arena after 3 years with this blasted IC heavier, skin that is still getting pimples no matter what I do, I totally get your concern.

Oh, and before I forget to add this--yes, your period can make you flare. I would call your doc to see if you can find an additional back up plan of action.

You give so much to others at expense to your own body--please take care of you.

Love,
Barb:smile tee

[waterflow]

Kadi glad you are feeling better. PMS sure is tough.

Amy, how do you come up with your thoughts? Hot tub, old people, saggy skin.....:lmao: That made my day. Of course that will be in my head the rest of the day but it was a good laugh that I needed. :kiss:

Barb, I'm over 40 years of age and still have acne too. I thought after I hit 21 it would stop but nope. One of the many joys I still have and found if I use too much of the acne soap stuff just makes it worse. Thought about buying that pro-active stuff but wonder if it is worth the money?

[kadi]

I did use ProActiv for 12 years, it worked well, from age 26-38. But recently, the acne got out of control & the ProActiv didn't work anymore (and it's expensive). I saw a dermatologist & he told me to wash with Purpose soap & wrote me a script for RetinA & Benzaclin. That worked better & the insurance copays for the meds were less expensive than ProActiv.

[waterflow]

Doesn't one of the face creams in the stores have RetinA in them now? I'll have to look. Just seems like I remember seeing a commercial on it. Thanks for the info. :)