New here...3 years w/ IC...currently flared up and feeling discouraged

[pharmgirl]

Hello. I have had IC for 3 years now, (or been diagnosed for that long) it started out as "a short urethra" "bladder spasms" "endometriosis" and finally IC. I was so excited when I found out that there was an actual reason for this stabbing pain! I was so excited to have a medicine I could take!!

I tend to have a lot of flare ups. I am in pharmacy school, which entails a lot of stress, which seems to be my trigger. That and diet coke, which I've cut out completely. I take my elmiron religiously. And yet, I still flare up. I get so mad at myself when I am flared up -because I feel like I am a healthy young woman. Why do I have something wrong with me that puts me in the bed in tears with pain that tylenol can't cut. I don't like to have to take lortab and UTA capsules just to pee. It is embarassing for me! Even worse, I finals a week from today...I need to be studying. I try and push through the pain to study...but I can't concentrate for the awful yelling my bladder is doing. So I take my pain pill and blue pill...and I get so groggy that studying is again out of the question. So I get stressed out even more and it is a vicious circle.

I have often wondered if I am the only one. If others can't pee when they are flared. How often their flares last, if I am the only one that has to take a controlled substance to survive when it is flared. I feel so weak to have to take something. My parents will call me daily to check on me, and how I'm feeling...and I hate having to admit that I had to have a pain pill. That I just didn't wake up feeling hunky dory again this morning.

My fiance' is currently deployed, and I guess that plays a part in the flare. I don't want to worry him with this, because it isn't a worry type thing. Nothing out of the ordinary is wrong...I just need it to pass. He is so strong and has nothing wrong with him health wise - it makes me feel weak to have something wrong with me.

I'm glad to have found this place. I feel alone in this at times. I know one other person who has this - and she sees a specialist for her IC. I however can't afford to go to the doctor right now, not on a student's budget w/ little insurance. Sigh.

[Ben G.]

hey, I just joined today too. I'm sorry for all you're going through, but one thing I can tell you is not to be ashamed of having to take a pill. You, like the rest of IC patients didn't sign up for this, we do what we can to maintain until we find something that works. These places are a great way to talk to people about what you're going through, without apologies, because there are people here who care and want to get better themselves. I would never talk to anyone else about this (aside from family and docs) because it has been my experience that some friends and people you'd normally confide in just don't get it, or they try and empathize but can't because they have little to compare to what we go through. We won't be cured through a network like this alone obviously, but moral support is very important mentally, at least for me. It keeps me up to date on the latest news and different treatment options. And if someone needs medical care but is a little short, there are ways to make the system benefit you (As weak a system as it is). I hope you find a way to get through your finals, and there are always people here who will listen.

[Sarojini]

Definitely don't be ashamed of having to take pain medication. Many ICers have to do the same, including me. We usually liken it to a diabetic having to take insulin to live a normal life -- if you are taking your pills to live a normal life and feel better, then it is absolutely okay.

I'm glad you joined the ICN :welcome: You will find many others here who know exactly what you are going through and who can share their stories with you!

[pharmgirl]

Thank you both. I'm lucky enough to only have flares, not constant pain. I guess I'm just aggrevated because it had been over 2 months since my last flare. And it is the most inopportune time.

Thanks again for the welcome.

[aprilmae]

WELCOME!!!!!

There is no shame in taking meds to function. I would imagine the stress you are under is a big cause and hopefully part of that will disappear after finals are over. I had a lot of friends in pharmacy school when I was in college and even had to take a class with them for my degree - I understand why you are stressed out. You are put through so much. How far are you from rotation?

Drinking some hot tea like peppermint or chammomile while you take a few minutes of down time may help to relax you. Sometimes when I am stressed just soaking in the tub for a few minutes relaxes me to give me that extra push to keep going.

My heart goes out to you having family in the military. I hope your husband will be back soon.

Good luck finals and remember to rest when you can.

April

[Babs RN]

First off, congrats on pharm school, it is very hard to get in(which means you are an intelligent, strong woman)and I know the stress in the program because my roommate junior year of nursing school was in the PharmD program and I thought my life was busy. Second of all, health care professionals make rotten patients because we try and rationalizw and self diagnose which just contributes to making ourselves worse. Don't be shy about pain meds. I'm sure you've heard the lecture if you take too long to treat your pain, the harder it is to bring to a tolerable level. Where are you in pharm school? I went to Creighton in Omaha, NE. Anyway not lecturing but have been a nurse for 15 years(ER and critical care mostly)and I am horrible about rationalizing my pain away and I just wind up being more ill. Please PM if you need to vent. I also found out I got accepted to a CRNA program which puts me in the demanding program quandry with my IC being end stage. Hang in there and we are here for you good times and bad.

Hugs,
Barb:hi:

PS My hubby was deployed for a year in Mosul Iraq, been there too.

[pharmgirl]

What is "End Stage"?