Breathe....Breathe...

[MakinIT]

Okay...now that I've passed that interview, everyone needs to convince me to relax my way through this nerve block on Monday. Thank God I'll be in La-la land on Versed....Wow...I never would believe a procedure that went amok 8 years ago would stress me out that bad now....( epidural gone psycho by a crazy nurse anastheologist) and is making me have nasty moments...My back actually hurts where the epidural went wrong. (15 pokes, with a wet tap...that is, I lost spinal fluid and got a horid headache, couldn't move without vomitting) Stupid lady had the nerve to ask me in front of my family if I had always been "that fat"...(I had toxemia..was dying from it so I had major water retention) I was like duh?!!!!! (remember that was 8 years ago..) I had forgotten that but it is vivid to me now. banghead And I get sick and wierd, and shakey. My counselor says I have PTSD...We are working on breathing tomorrow. Yeah.

I did acupuncture today. That was fun...Needles where no needle has gone before.....(I've had acupuncture but not for IC) It was nice. I didn't drink much before had so Iwouldn't be stuck like a porcupine then have to pee. (As it was, I went 2 times before we started) Then she stuck me all over, including along the pubic bone....(Which meant an interesting hunt for the needle afterwards). Anyway, She put a warm eye pillow on my eyes, warm rocks on my pelvis and a warm flannel blanket on my legs...water sound in the background...(which, interestingly enough, did not make have to dash to the potty) and monglian chants...then she left me to sleep for quite a while. (I've never slept for one of her tx's before...she was thrilled) I was so relaxed and floating on the way home. Then I went to chiropractor. That was a very nice visit, he really worked my pelvic area. Finished the day with Yoga and Tai Chi and a good dose of Morphine and valium...and early bed.

I appreciate you all telling me I'll survive the procedure on Monday. I'm just anxious to get it past me and find out if it helps, and if so, what is next...(he says either a nerve ablation or one of those nerve stimulators that you guys talk about)

Thanks all....

Tracey

[ICNJess]

Tracey,

I can totally related to PTS. I was in a very bad car accident two years ago, where I rolled my SUV on an icy patch of our backwoods road. Now everytime I get in a car and it is going a little fast, I gasp for air, I break out into a sweat, and everything comes flooding back to me. I have to keep my eyes closed when we go down a winding road. It is not a fun thing to go through, to re-live that all over again. But you can't help it, and I completely understand where you are coming from. :(

But you will be drugged. Maybe you could ask them, since you do have PTS because of a procedure similar to this, if they could put you out completely? The versed will definitely make you groggy, I had that for my InterStim trial. It just makes me wonder if maybe you need something stronger?

BTW, if you are thinking of the nerve stimulator (InterStim) they poke at your back until they find the right nerve. :(

Good luck and keep us posted,
Jess

[Jessica in Arkansas]

Tracy,
You are going to do fine!
You have a whole lot of IC family pulling for you as I am sure you have a close net of family there that you can rely on.
PTSD is a hard thing to deal with, just a loud noise will bring me into tears (I experienced this after my dear husband was badly burned and hospitalized for 4 months).
I do not know if it is anything that can totally be lifted off of a person (PTSD) but I do more effectively deal with the disorder because of the 8 years that have went by and the learning to cope mechanism I have had to work on.
Just like your net name say's "Makin'it" makin' it you will!
You will be in my thoughts and prayers during this procedure.
Much love and concern,
JessicainArkansas

[MakinIT]

Went to counselor today and we made a great tape for relaxation. It sounds silly if you just listen to it, but put me in a room with a warm pad on my tummy, eye pillow on, and the tape of his "mr. Roger's voice" telling me I'm safe and comfortable and warm...I go into la, la land. It's nutz. I'm almost like I go into a trance, he tells me the safe, warm colors goes from my head into my tummy and into my groin. all the bad, painful colors go out, drain into the floor. (wierd cause he's figured out colors work well for me) When I listened to it today...(Just listened..not relaxed) there was a lot I missed during the session, he must've really had me down. I think I'll use it the morning before my procedure.

If this damn disease has taught me anything, its to be open to anything; paranormal, strange seeming (in the past), or not exactly scientifically "valid".

Bye all...T