afraid to have another one!

[theoutlaw77]

Hi! I have a daughter who just turned 3 last week. We have really been going back and forth about having another child. I really do want another one, and I enjoyed being pregnant last time. I want her to have some one to grow up with...My husband is 8 yrs. older than I am, so if we are going to do it, we want to do it soon.

When I was pregnant last time, I had IC (not diagnosed yet) but not the pain symptom. That started when my daughter was about 1. I have a pretty good pain mgt. plan now, and I know it is selfish, but I do not want to give it up and go back to being miserable every minute again. I know that over all- a new life will be worth it, but I am scared to be in pain all of the time again. Also, while I hear that being pregnant sometimes alleviates symptoms, I am really worried about being worse after giving birth again.

I also worry about having to take care of two children while feeling like hell. Some days, it is so tough with one! It is hard to have energy to chase a toddler when you are exhausted and in pain.

I don't know...I guess I just needed to "vent." Thanks for listening. Jonee

[redfearn]

Hi Jonee!! :hi:

I had IC diagnosed after my 1st C-section with my son. I always wanted two children. When my son turned 3, I had my beautiful daughter...not a day goes by that I don't thank God for my two miracles!!! When you are pregnant, some people do better with their IC...Unfortunately, I was not one of them. But I didn't care..I took the pain...and after she was born, I got back on my pain meds. It is actually easier (I know this sounds totally crazy) to have two. Plus, they have a play-mate and the first child will feel like such a big helper with the new one.

This is your choice, but just wanted you to know how I made my decision. Whatever you decide will be right!!!! Good luck!!:pray:

Love and Hugs!!!!:grouphug:

Laura

[eyecandy]

I have two boys and it has been a blessing to me. My oldest is 5 and the youngest will be 3 in a couple weeks. My 5 yr old has been so helpful to me. It has been easier for me having 2 because they play so well with each other. When I am having a bad day, my oldest will take his bro in the other room and put on a movie so I can rest or get some work done. I want a lot of kids, and I would love to have another one. My hubby and I have been trying for about 7 months with no luck. I got pregnant on the 1st try with my first two, so it has been really hard for me every month when I get my period again. I think having my body in so much pain and under stress has affected my ability to conceive.
But, I also believe that everything happens for a reason, and it will happen when the time is right.

[CohenandI]

Hi there,
I so understand the situation that you are in. I have had IC for 17yrs & has only gotton worse & worse over the years. I was never somone who always said oh I carn't wait to have babies & so forth (even though I loved children) I don't know just didn't know how I would be at being a mother??? When I was in my 20's I had a great time lots of friends & when I met my Husband I still didn't know if that's what I wanted. It was not until I was mabey 29 that I decided that yes I did & it was always going to be only one child without a doubt.So when I was 31 I had my darling boy, nothing in the world makes me so grateful that I have that child. I loved being pregnate ( had my IC go into remision) & loved being a mum so much I wanted another child almost straight away. Then my IC came back & relatily set in that I knew that there was no way I would cope with another child. I have quiet bad IC & have alot of days that I carn't function at all, I take alot of meds am tired all the time & just don't cope well under alot of stress & strain. MY (now Ex Husband) was never much help so that was alot of the reason to just having one. However with saying all that I never took away the desire to have another child, it was a huge part of things for a long time, I hated the fact that my son would not have a brother or sister to grow up with & if something happen to his father or I who would he have?? There were so many issues but I decided that in the end I would be better off trying to be well & spending as much time with Cohen as I could rather then putting myself under stress & not coping getting myself sicker & not being able to spend quality time with my son. There are so many yes's & no's to this decision, & is properly one of the hardest you will have to make & I am sure that you will make the right one. I do not regret my choice now apart from the fact that my husband & I are not together which by the way was also a huge factor of my choice, I think if you have a totally suportive husband it would make a big difference also. But as I said I love being able to give Cohen everything & every once of time, love & support I have, we have a wonderful relationship we are the best of friends & every day I treasure that with all my heart.
I hope that you are able to come to a decision & be comfortable with it as I know it is not easy but sure if you only have the one child that you will love that choice.
Best of luck to you & sorry this is so long.
Take Care
Andrea :angel:

[theoutlaw77]

Thanks for your replies...Yes, this is a very hard decision for me...I am very worried that if I do not have another one, I will regret it. I think I will have to suck up the pain, and just go for it. But, on the other hand, I just don't know!!