not sure how to handle this

[ldgb4]

My son Brandon started kindergarden this year. He cries every morning because he has to go he says the teacher is mean and usually he gets little notes sent home on his work like needs to learn to use time wisely and listen to all of the directions she even circles his letters that he has wrote from the papers she sends for him to write them for practice like they aren't good enough when I see nothing wrong with them. He has had no preschool they were all filled up. He is adhd and I have spoken to the principal and the guidance counsler and told them maybe he needs some one on one with the teachers aides to help him. He missed 2 days for strep throat and she sent him home 31 pages of homework on top of that days homework. I don't know what to do I feel like she is picking on him and nobody wants to do anything about it. I don't feel as if I am over reacting these notes aren't nice little helping notes they are rude those are just a couple of what I could remember but there is always one or two sent each day. Please help I am so confused and frustrated on what to do about this.


Lisa

[dg2901]

Lisa,

My suggestion would be to call the school and make an appt for a one on one conference with the teacher. You can share your concerns wtih her and ask her what you can do at home in order to make your son better prepared in class. See what kind of results come from this, and if after a week or so these little notes are still coming home, call and schedule an appt with the teacher and guidance counsellor together; then give it another week or so and see what happens. Should it still be an issue then you can get the principal involved, though hopefully it wont go this far.

I know how hard it is when it seems as if our kids are being picked on by a teacher. My son is a junior in high school and theres been one teacher every year that he clashes/butts heads with. I've had my share of one on one meetings with teachers and while theyre not fun, they usually prove helpful.

Good luck, dear
diana

[Kara Isabel]

You can also request that your son be switched to a new teacher. Some teachers and students just don't "hit it off" , so to speak, and that does nothing good but hinder your son's desire to learn!

The first few years is SO crucial in developing the excitement for learning! The more your son likes school and his teachers, the better off his learning will be.

I would follow Diane's advice and set up a conference to get both sides of the story, if you get a bad vibe about the teacher and her methods, then by all means go to the principal and demand he be switched to a different teacher.

Good luck and let us know what happens!
Kara

[ICNDonna]

If at all possible, I think moving him to a different teacher could be the best thing to do. I would save any notes you still have and take them to the principal's office for discussion. Kindergarten should be a fun, exciting, learning experience.

Donna

[BeachBaby]

I would have to agree on arranging for a meeting with your sons teacher. You may or may not want to include the school guidance counselor.

I would at least try this before changing teachers, to just at least give it a chance. I have seen over zealous kindergarten teachers before, and while I think it is rare, it does happen. My first child had a "legendary" perfectionist, who would draw huge black marks through an entire paper if the coloring was not completely within the lines and fairly well coordinated for a 5 year old.

I look back now and can see that her influence lead to some perfection issues for my child and it is very hard to undo that as a parent. It can become quite cyclical.

I think it is important for you to ask to view the curriculum framework for the kindergarten grades in order to understand what is truly expected of these kids and is it realistic. I would (huge experience speaking here) refrain from any accusatory comments, and use this as an information gathering meeting.

Personally I found that the guidance department was able to be a big help in serving as a go between and helped so much to reach common goals for a child in later years. This particular teacher was too intimidating for me, but I sure did learn from it.

I think kindergarten needs to be fun and a process of learning how to "climb" into directional and then educational issues. Just learning how to gather w/o a stampede can be huge for some kids...it does feel as though our expectations go up every year for little kids. I don't think it is unrealistic for a teacher to ask for classroom behavior to be orderly, but that is a lot of homework for any age child, I would want to know what the school policy is on homework, etc. It is usually spelled out by grade, and I can't image more than 15-30 minutes of anything in kindergarten.

Usually these are really simple things to resolve and a visit can really bring down the walls of tension...it is so hard to know a teacher through our kid's hesitations. I hope it works out easily and your son can get adjusted sooner.:)

[mary124]

I would have to agree with the others, Kindergarter should be fun. There is always one kid who the teachers always pick on. My youngest was that child also. Right away they told me he had ADHD and even gave me a list that said if your child has any of this he/she may be this!! (I looked at that and said -- Wow then I must be that as well!!) Seriously, have a conference with the teacher and if that doesn't work then the councilor. If not have him move to another classroom.

For me, none of that helped so I put my son into a private school and the teachers there saw nothing wrong with him, so I kept him there for 5 years till Jr. high and as soon as he was in 6 grade it started all over again. When he was in 9th grade we decided we needed to move or else he wasn't going to make it, and the teachers there again saw nothing wrong with him. Its amazing, though. Could you possibly move him to another school? I know out here you can transfer to another school within the district if your child has transportation. Thats a thought. Good luck.

[Imustpee]

I am sorry to hear your son is having trouble with a teacher...after raising 4 kids, I did have a similar problem with one of them...I had him placed in another classroom with another teacher...it worked....it's worth a try...good luck and please keep us posted on how he is doing...:)

[eyecandy]

My son Brayden started Kindergarten this year as well. He loves it and is excited to go every morning. Infact, he wakes ME up in the morning to help him get ready. I would switch teachers in a heartbeat if my son was crying every morning because he has to go to school where he doesn't feel wanted, is picked on, and the teacher is mean to him. 31 pgs of work for 2 days of kindergarten? That is insane!!!! My son has a homework book with 30 pgs of work, but he is to complete 1 page each day till the end of the term! I am sorry you and your son are experiencing this. He is lucky to have a mom that cares this much about him and his education! Keep pushing till you get what you deserve! and Please keep us posted! School (especially kindergarten) is supposed to be fun and engaging and it sounds like his teacher is the one FAILING.

[ldgb4]

Thank You for all of your replies and good advice I am going to take your advice and call the school go through the steps and get something done about it, I will give you all an update as soon as something happens thank again

Lisa

[**Angie**]

My eldest son had a problem with his 1st grade teacher. (kindergarten was a breeze) He's in 9th grade now and there hasn't been a year that I haven't looked back and wished that I had switched him. I did the talk to the teacher thing numerous times with no good coming from it. Every year has been a struggle with him. He is a very bright boy (too bright) and I hate to see him waste a good education. That 1st grade teacher only taught one year at his school--hmmm I wonder why. You should go through the steps but if that doesn't work take him out. It trully changes their whole learning process at such an early age. Right now my son is doing well. (I know school has only just started) We're bribing him with a car!! :smile tee

[Bella Rose]

So Sorry your child is experiencing problems at school. In addition to the fine suggestions you have gotten here, I have an additional suggestion.

Have someone go into the classroom and observe. Now, you may have to tell the principal that you want someone to observe your child to see if he is disruptive, but if truth be told, the observer will also be able to "observe the teacher" and her teaching methods. It will give you documented evidence of what is going on in the classroom with your child. You could request the counselor to do this, or you could get your own specialist. I did this once when my child was in the first grade and I found out that her classroom was a joke. Unfortunately, when I called her on the carpet, the principal and most of the other teachers knew it already, but didn't want to admit it or deal with her.

After that experience I made it my business to "know" each teacher my children were going to get ahead of time and to request one with a good reputation. Although it wasn't technically "school policy" I found out that they would grant my requests.

I hope things work out for your son. His school experience needs to be a positive one.

Hugs, Bella :cat:

[ldgb4]

I went to the principal,I took in all the papers with her little remarks,he then had her call me she said my son had no attention span and I should think about taking him out and put him in preschool or leave him and he could always do another year in Kindergarden next year. Before she called I discussed with the principal about maybe that her and Brandon just didn't click and maybe if it didn't get better we could try another teacher he said of course but after I talked to her I called him back and asked for him to be placed with another teacher then he said not an option they don't do that after he told me in a previous conversation that was an option. He suggested having a high school student come in and help Brandon out,but it has been at least 2-3 wks now I have asked Brandon everyday if he has someone helping him yet and he says no. I am at my wits end with this school and do not know what else to do,its driving me crazy and I am not about to let them keep him in Kindergarden again he is a very smart boy. I think I have ran out of options because before I talked to the guidance counsler earlier in the year she didn't help either. Any Suggestions? Lisa

[tigger_gal]

Lisa,
your story reminded me of exactly what a cold hearted witch kg teacher my daughter had.. My daughter too was picked on by her teacher. She went so far as to suspend my daughter for fighting on the playground when she had been home with the chicken pox. She would tell her she was stupid, and many other things.. Ashly would scream and cry, take her clothes off, and lock herself in the bathroom. she hated school. I went to the principle and like you was told one thing and then told it couldn't be done. I made an appointment with the school board and presentedd my case, and had her switched, not just teachers, but schools. I think I would go that route. I truley believe that teachers do pick out children they just don't like. Mine was mad to sit in class whil the others went out for recess, because she didn't write as well as the teacher wanted.. they are only 5 years old what do they want..
good luck to you and your little guy

[jlp]

My sister just had her son moved to another teacher's class. He just started first grade.At first she was told that she would have to wait till after the winter break..but she just put her foot down and told them they was doing it that day, and she was not leaving until it was done! She had meet with the teacher several times, and tried all the nice ways! They moved him this past monday. I also have raised several children, and no child should be treated badly or put aside..because a teacher does not want to or does not know how to deal with ADHD or because a teacher does not like a child for whatever reason. When my youngest started kindrgarden...everything was fine, until..she found out what religion we were, and then she was really mean to him..i tried all year to work with her, and the principle, etc....i did not want to cause problems and have him moved,as it turned out, at the end of the year, she passed him to first grade...and he could not even write his name..and it is only 4 letters long!! I then had to fight with them to put him back in Kindergarden!!! We ended up changing schools, but not before a complaint was filed with the school! That was 17 years ago...now i am wiser..LOL--I just tell my sisters, and who ever else is having problems...do not let the teachers push you around! A child should enjoy school..esp. kindergarden....I believe first grade is the most important grade for learning- that first grade teacher is so very important!! My son did very well, repeating kindergarden, and when first grade came around, he got a great teacher...guess no one wanted to push me around that time. MY nephew is in kindergarden, and he does not even have homework. At the first of the year, the teacher put together a notebook, of papers, to trace the numbers and letters, as they want to, not that it is required. My first son, was always getting into trouble for talking to everyone in class. I think he was ADHD, but 24 years ago..i do not think it had a name..any way, the teacher calls me in, she tells me, that he finishes his work so fast, then he ask the kids around him, to give him their papers, so he can do their work, because when they get done they can go outside...LOL She said she had tried everything to get him to stop..i told her, that when she hands out the work sheets, give him 2 or 3, and then he will finish about the time the rest of the kids do.....This worked out very well! So, sometimes, we have to deal with all kinds of teachers. I just get really upset/mad when a teacher does not want to help a child....What are they teachers for? I realize they might have 25 kids in a clasroom, and they just want to deal with the easy kids..I sometimes think the teachers just want all the kids on medication for ADHD or ADD ..I did not mean to go on and on and on---I hope everything works out....If they have not got someone to come in and help your son by monday,just start calling everyday or go up there..There is no reason for them to wait weeks and weeks...

[ICNDonna]

If the principal at your school is not willing to move your son to a different teacher, you could go to the school district administration office. Your principal won't be happy, but there's a good chance his superiors will arrange for him to be moved.

When my daughter was in first grade she was with an abusive teacher and that's the route I had to take to have some changes made.

Good luck! Don't give up --- an early unpleasant experience can really effect how a child responds all through the school years.

Donna

[ldgb4]

I think that I am going to have to go to the school board I am sick of that teacher I don't understand why they haven't given him the help that he needs or why they felt the reason to lie to me. If they weren't going to do anything they should have been honest about it instead of telling me what they think I wanted to hear. They are jerks!! They haven't heard the last of me.


Lisa

[dg2901]

Lisa,

Sorry to hear that things havent improved with your son's school/teacher situation. I completely agree with the others who suggest going to the school administration; voice your concerns to the school superintendant via someone at the school board and demand something be done that day. Theres no reason why your sons situation hasnt been corrected by now.

Take care, dear
diana

[momw/ic]

It sounds like several of us have been through this before. One thing that I did for a while during the time we were in waiting mode before he was put in a different class was I would go up there to the school everyday and sit in the classroom. My son new not to come to me or even act like I was there. He ignored me and I would sit quietly at the back. I even offered to the teacher to help her while I was there but she didn't want help and it really upset her that I was there. Mainly because nothing bad ever happened while i was there. Of course as soon as I was gone according to her all you know what broke loose. I was there to protect my son and until we moved schools I kept at it because that is the only thing that worked.

I agree, make them sick of seeing your face and they will change his teachers. Make them scared enough of you - if that means going to the school board then do it.

[ldgb4]

Thank you for your help I think that I will go over the principals head and talk to the Superintendent then if that doesn't work I will then go to the school board. If that doesn't work I don't know what would be left to do.


Thanks again,
Lisa