What do you do when nothing seems to help?

[waterflow]

None of the antidepressant pills seem to help. I know I have only been on the wellbutrin for a week but still, I would think I would feel a little bit better by now but I don't. I'm just so sad and lonely all the time I don't know what to do anymore. I am trying if it doesn't sound like it but nothing seems to be getting me back to a happy place of life. What does everyone else do?

[ShePurzz]

When nothing seems to work, and you reach the end of your rope -- tie a knot and HANG ON!!! This will pass-- keep asking questions and keep seeing the doctor until you find what works for you -- I know it seems like it should be working by now, but they do take a while to kick in -- and sometimes, remember, there are side effects that are depression and such -- so talk to your doctor ESPECIALLY if you think you are feeling worse...

Miss chatting with you and know you are needing rest -- take care and get it -- GET YOUR SLEEP even if it means dirty dishes or house for a little while -- and if you can afford it, ask a school girl to come in and help with some of it until you are up and on your feet again -- I find that having someone coming to clean motivates me to clean first, because I don't want anyone to see how bad it gets sometimes. I used to be miss spic and span, but not anymore, I am miss clutter butter.... hee hee... anyhow, one day at a time, if that is too much, one hour at a time, if that is too much one minute at a time, if that is too much, ONE STEP AT A TIME!!! Tie that knot and hang on, knowing that you have lots of people here to catch you if you slip!

Hugs,
Mary

[ICNDonna]

Please let your doctor know how you are feeling. It can take time to find the best antidepressant in each individual case --- as Mary said, hang in there! I hope you and your doctor find the right combination soon.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[waterflow]

Thanks Mary and Donna. I think my problem is I want time to turn back before this all happened. Back to when I had a life, I was happy and I wasn't fat anymore. No pill can do that. I don't want to complain anymore to my doc. Think he might be sick of it and nothing he can really do. I too had a clean house like you Mary and now it looks like a tornado went through> I can never catch up.

Mary, next week I will start again with the daily routine post. I'm not home on weekends. Have a person I help out so makes it hard to really say what I will be doing.

Thanks again....I'll keep hanging on.

[Sunflower2]

Water, I think everybody here knows dealing with IC is like a rollercoaster ride every day. When I feel so down, I try to let my emotions out. This is the hardest thing to do for me because I am not really good at expressing my emotions. What I learned from this IC experience with my life is that you have to get out of your victim thinking to move forward. When I was so frustrated with this IC, I always thought " Why me??? Why is this happening to ME???Why....Why....Why.....????" I just couldn't stop being a victim of this horrible disease. But I found this website, and there are so many people who are dealing with same issue day in day out, I see the light:angel:
I know it seems as if you were in a dark tunnel and cannot find a way out. But hang in there, you can find a way out.
Talk to your loved one about how you are feeling right now, and let this negative power out of you. YOU really need it, and do something good to yourself. Do something relaxing, like a warm bath or listen to music whatever works for you. Give yourself a plenty of rest. Today, I am having a mild pain from playing tennis too much last night. I know that I should have gone easy to my body. However, I just couldn't help it because tennis is the only way that I can release my stress level, so now I am paying the price:wink: I hope you feel better soon.:pray: :pray: :pray:

[ShePurzz]

.... What I learned from this IC experience with my life is that you have to get out of your victim thinking to move forward. When I was so frustrated with this IC, I always thought " Why me??? Why is this happening to ME???Why....Why....Why.....????" I just couldn't stop being a victim of this horrible disease. :pray:

Sunflower -- I so agree with this statement. And to help someone, I hope, I am going to add a little thought to it...

IF you were able to ask God, "WHY DO I HAVE THIS DISEASE?", what answer could He give you that would possibly make you feel any better about having it? Redundantly, nothing -- anyone with this knows it sucks -- I think that the only thing that really works for me is to remind myself that #1, He never allows us to experience anything that He isn't willing to walk through with me and #2, because I have experience"_____" (IC or depression, anxiety, FM, IBS, etc.. fill in the blank) I am now able to really empathize with someone else that is experiencing it too -- I can hopefully encourage someone else on my good days, and find others to encourage me on my bad days.

I have also had this same thought about the loss of a child -- it seems like it has to be the hardest thing in the world to deal with -- and especially the 'murder' of a child. Having lost one baby early in pregnancy, I know I went through depression because I felt so attached to the fetus already --- how much more so the pain a parent must feel when a child they have raised and loved and nurtured, is killed or dies? What answer would make it okay? I think nothing would help remove the pain -- however -- again, I believe that "it is for such a time as this" that we are prepared by experiences we go through.

For anyone reading this who has lost a child, I am so deeply sorry -- I can only imagine that it is the deepest loss. Having lost two brothers during my younger years, I know it was and still is, one of the toughest things I have had to deal with -- and seeing my parents lose two sons -- like my mom says, it just doesn't seem right that a parent outlives a child. However, she truly trusts that the Lord is all-knowing and we just continue to trust in Him to help us through each day.

Blessings,
Mary
:pray:

[waterflow]

My problem isn't why me. I've lost everything and everyone due to the IC. I found out what people really thought of me and with each year it was one less person to where there is no one left now. The only one I had to talk to about things was my uro and I'm pretty sure he's tired of it. Even I'm tired of it so I won't go to him now if need be. I just go and pretend to be happy.
Mary, I'm sorry for your loss of the baby. I do know what if feels like to lose a child. I don't want to get into it but I would not wish it onto anyone. You never get over just learn to go on.
THere is one thing I have noticed about me with some of you. Maybe I should not say this and you might not want anything to do with me after I do but I do not believe in God anymore. The world wouldn't be the way it is. I feel I followed his rules the best I could and I am no saint but this is what I got in the end for going by the rules. To me praying is begging. He knows all before it happens so I just don't buy it anymore.
I'll try to get through this. I've pretty much gotten through most of it on my own. I don't mean for that to sound like I'm ditching you all. I just mean I've learned to be on my own my byself.
Thanks for the help.

[vm]

Please don't ever worry that we would ditch you for not believing in God. I believe strongly in God, but would never, ever want to shove God down someone's throat - EVER. I hope you never feel like that here on the boards. This is a place for support, not evangelism. :kissing:

[waterflow]

I wasn't saying that anyone has pushed God on to me. Sorry if it came out that way. Was just saying how most here do believe where I don't and maybe that is why most don't think like I do. That's all. I really feel like no one else in the world thinks or feels like I do. It's like I am out in space all by myself. Stupid huh? :loco:

[vm]

Not stupid at ALL. I was just worried b/c you posted that you wondered if people might not like you if you said you didn't believe in God. Fortunately there are no conditions for getting support here - you're among friends.

And I am willing to bet there are others out there who feel the same way you do. Even right here on the boards. In fact, you speaking out about it might help someone else --- even if they never post about it.

It's hard when we're in that dark spot to not feel alone and isolated and like no one else feels or thinks the way we are. Depression does that and if you've had other losses in life it compounds that depression.

I do know it can take up to a month for an antidepressant to really work. I think with women especially b/c so much of our depression can be affected by hormones/our periods. I think it can take a good month for all that to get sorted out.

[waterflow]

Thanks Kim, I really do think my problems are from losing so much in the last few years. Seems to be one right after another. I will have to learn to deal with it some how. I am going to keep taking the Wellbutrin. I know some can take up to 3 months. Just wish it would start helping sooner.
I do want to say that I hope I didn't hurt anyones feelings about the religion part. Just something I had wanted to say.

You have all helped me. THanks :grouphug:

[Briza]

Waterflow
Please give wellbutrin some time to work. One week is not enough. As the medicine begins to work over the course of a few weeks or a month, it is very subtle as it takes effect. It's not like one day you feel bad, then the next day you are your old self again. But the effect is slow and subtle and if this med works for you you should slowly begin to feel a difference over time and not really notice it until one day you figure out, wow, I'm handling things much better than before. That has been my experience. Antidepressants can't solve all your problems, but CAN help you deal with them more rationally, with clearer mind and thoughts, and fewer ups and downs. By 3 months, or even 2, I think you should know if you are feeling better, and if not there are other meds to try. Best wishes to you. I understand your loss of faith, I too a have experienced many losses recently and wonder why, why, why??!! But I am returning to my faith, along with prozac, and I am gaining strength, courage, and hope everyday. I wish the same for you. No offense taken. :kissing:

[ShePurzz]

Hey Water, you may need to tie another knot it sounds like -- keep tying and keeping hanging on. I agree with the time issue and antidepressants, however, I do want to say one thing again -- if you are getting more depressed -- CALL YOUR DOCTOR right away .. sometimes the drugs can cause deeper depression -- however -- if you are not any worse, but just don't feel any better YET, hang on -- they can take up to a month or more to really get working -- and I agree -- one day you wake up and realize -- WOW, I feel a lot better -- it's not too far off.

Regarding the religion issue -- I guess I will also start by saying that I wouldn't consider leaving you or not talking to you because you don't believe the same thing(s) I do.

Try something that I believe is spiritually sound as well as considered a great exercise. Oprah has talked about this many times on her shows and I believe it is a great practice to consider.

She suggests using a journal for writing down the things we are grateful for -- a gratitude journal. By writing down the things you are thankful for (don't have cancer, have a home, have healthy children, whatever it is in your life) and by doing this daily, we begin to focus on the good things in our life.

When we are sick -- like you are now, and like I have been for the past few weeks, finding these things takes a little more work -- but you can find at least ONE thing that you are grateful for each day! Write it down and from time to time when you are really down, read over it and count your blessings...

I look forward to when you are feeling better and your meds kick in -- I also look forward to encouraging and motivating each other on to tasks that seem too tough, but for which we will be so happy when they are done.

My house USED to be clean -- that was a very long time ago --- in the last 8 years, I have collected more 'stuff' than I want -- Some has come in the form of gifts, some hand-me-downs, some recycling and garage sale stuff, some new. I go through 'collecting' themes -- not too many, but I collect tea cups, light houses etc.. things that accumulate and collect dust...

So, I have been doing an exercize in trusting the past few months. I want to get the things out of my house that are making life tougher for me -- for instance, I am getting rid of about 50% of the utensils in my drawer -- today I filled a small box with items that I am giving to a young man whose roommate up and left and took all his stuff -- so he is happy and I have an extra drawer in my kitchen now.

I also collected any of the plastic containers that I don't really use -- he is getting those too, along with a wooden breadbox that was nice, but mostly collected dust since I could NEVER fit all the bread in it and if ONE is on the counter, why not two or three loaves?

Next, I am going through ALL my my clothes tomorrow and here is the deal... I have a lady who wants them already -- I told her she had to take everything, and pass along what she doesn't want -- I will NOT take anything back. Anything in my closet that I haven't worn in the past 6 months that is not a seasonal item is going -- poof! bye bye -- Why? Well, it has been 7 years or more since my size 10 and 12 clothing fit me and even if I do lose all the weight I want/need to to fit back into them, they are going to be completely out of date... my husband asked if I was planning to keep them until they came back around in fashion??? Grins!

Well, I am not -- jeans I can't wear because of IC -- history! Why look at them and feel depressed because they don't fit -- these are all going... Dresses, blouses, nighties, socks, etc.. I am going to wipe out the closet and have more hangers and shelf space than I have used... Why? Because it depresses me to go to my closet and find three hundred items that don't fit and about three that do. So, these are going and I am going to buy one nice pair of jeans that FIT ME!!! Then I am going to get one nice nightie that FITS ME and I am going to only keep the dresses and skirts that FIT ME so that when I open the closet to get out something to wear, I will only see things I CAN WEAR... stress reduced just thinking about that!!!

Well, you may wonder, why don't I do a garage sale and get some money -- well, a garage sale = stress to me -- so I am going to get these out and put a couple of new items in -- not a lot, not expensive, but just things that will complement what is already in there and will fit me and not hurt my tummy!

Shoes -- history! Purses and belts -- history!

Next, I am going to do the same with my kitchen cupboards -- the foods that haven't been used up and have been here for many months (okay, years... I know... gross!) HISTORY! I am going to grocery shop when I need to -- not grocery shop for a year when I don't have a CLUE what I want to eat until the day arrives. Also, I will actually be able to put together a meal if I can get all the 'well, there is so much in the cupboard, why don't we use this up first' recordings out of my head and go grocery shopping with a meal plan in hand.

This summer, I found a family that was really hurting for money -- we were too, but this food isn't going to last forever -- well the shelf life is scarey that's for sure, but if it has that long of a shelf life it isn't good for me anyhow! So, with this family, I called them up and asked if they would like '''and I listed a lot of foods, taking notes as we talked.'''' then I bagged up about four bags of grocery items that I had either in my pantry or my cupboards and I was able to help them and get a little out of my own 'stash' if you will. This has to stop -- it is like hoarding stuff -- and that brings a lot of stress with it -- the more we have, the more we have to care for... dusting, making room for, stuffing drawers and closets and trying to find things in the midst of piles of stuff...

Well, that is my plan -- I am attacking my house -- every room of it -- and if I haven't used it, and it isn't seasonal -- it goes out the door. I use my own recycling group that I formed for this purpose -- SOMEONE out there needs what I am hoarding. I am going to be a lot less stressed when I come in and I can run a dust cloth without moving 200 knick nacks and can run the vacuum without moving piles of magazines or 'stuff' out of the way.. and cleaning my closet is going to just make it so much less emotionally stressful to open it up and know that EVERYTHING in there fits me!!!

God bless you and give you peace today, tonight, and tomorrow.

I hope you will call your doctor if there is any additional depression and I will look forward with anticipation to seeing you eager to clean a room, ride your bike or walk your steps... It isn't going to be forever -- this is going to pass... Just keep trusting that it has to go up soon!!!


HUGS,
Mary
:kiss: :grouphug: :pray:

[waterflow]

Nothing has changed. There are times when the Wellbutrin tries to help but my problem seems to be my family and relatives. Not much I can do about that so I have to learn some how to deal with them all.

[ShePurzz]

Enter a great book for helping -- and also, consider a good counselor in this case -- if it is emotional issues, the medication can help you deal only with so much -- the underlying issues are probably causing the depression, so not dealing with these issue will not allow you to get through the depression -- and the medication will only help you cope with the feelings you are having, not fix anything...

Try reading a book called "The Dance of Anger" and I think you may find some good stuff in there... I was very angry about a lot of things and just didn't understand it -- finally, this book clicked for me and whalla! I was able to express things in a proper way that still helped me to set boundaries and be free to be angry when things were upsetting to me -- I hope you will look it up and give it a try.
HUGS and don't give up -- tie knots all the way to the end of that rope!!! Then, get another rope if you need to!!!

We are with ya!!!
Mary

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Please don't ever worry that we would ditch you for not believing in God. I believe strongly in God, but would never, ever want to shove God down someone's throat - EVER. I hope you never feel like that here on the boards. This is a place for support, not evangelism. :kissing:

[jen48446]

Hang in there, the anti depressants do take time to build up in your system. I noticed a significant difference within 2 weeks, full effects @ 4 weeks, the hardest part of all is the waiting.

Feel free to e-mail me for immediate support I'm presently unemployed & looking so I'm on line a lot! If you e-mail me with your phone number I can call you for a shoulder to lean on...I have free nationwide long distance on my cell phone & use it a lot to keep in touch with others :angel:

:pray:

(((((HUGS)))))

[Ashelliak]

Def talk with your doctor again if you don't notice an improvement within a week or so more. Maybe you just don't have the right combo yet. It took my psych awhile to figure out exactly what worked best for me. Right now I take Celexa in combination with a little Seroquel and it cut my depression and anxiety down quite a bit. I still have off days though. I hope you are feeling better and I hope that this med can work for you or maybe something else. Keep us posted and don't give up..you will find what works for you! :angel:

[L. Thomas]

Keep working with you MD. Antidepressants are different for just about everyone. Keep in close touch and let your MD know what and how you are feeling. Don't wait to contact your MD when you aren't feelig better. Your MD needs to know your condition even if it is not time for your follow-up.
________
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[Lav]

None of the antidepressant pills seem to help. I know I have only been on the wellbutrin for a week but still, I would think I would feel a little bit better by now but I don't. I'm just so sad and lonely all the time I don't know what to do anymore. I am trying if it doesn't sound like it but nothing seems to be getting me back to a happy place of life. What does everyone else do?

Hi, I'm not sure if you'll get my message as this is my very first time ever trying to send anyone a message.

I'm trying everything there is...elmiron, antihistamines, bladder distension, change of diet. So far, I only get a little relief in the morning. I've heard about aloe-vera tablets maybe being helpful and I think I will try them too. I'm very depressed about this, but determined to try to find an answer. Hang in there.

[Lav]

would someone please tell me if this message is received? I wish to chat with you guys, but am very clumsy on the computer. I don't know if I can get through to anyone and I sure need to talk about my IC!

THANKS,
LAV

[waterflow]

Thanks for all the help everyone. Really means a lot to me. :) I think by getting a few people out of my life has helped some. Don't have the feeling of a black cloud hanging over me since I did it. was hard and sometimes I feel bad about it but they would just not listen to me. Tried and tried my hardest but they would just not meet me half way. This is the first week I have not argued with someone in almost 2 years. :woohoo: Just need to get over the guilty feeling. Why do people act the way they do exspecially when someone is helping them out? Anyway, I'm giving the wellbutrin more time.