icnmgrjill
09-07-2006, 09:45 AM
Just answering some email from a loving partner of an IC patient looking for ideas about sex... and realized that I hadn't posted this story here for several years. Thought I would do it today!
This was a true story told by a sex therapist and doctor from the UCSF Medical School who came to our IC support group meeting back in 1996. He told the story of a couple who had a sex life that he, frankly, envied. They were loving, compassionate, and completely sexually fulfilled. Yet, there was a shocking twist. The man had been in Vietnam and had suffered a horrific groin/shrapnel injury that had destroyed his penis. It was amputated and he returned home with an injury that most men fear.
So, how can a man without a penis have an amazing sex life that other men who were physically intact envied?? It was all about experimentation. The couple loved each dearly and decided to explore their sexuality in new ways, eventually finding TANTRIC SEX.
What's tantric sex? Imagine getting to that point right before orgasm where everything feels so amazing. We're lucky if we're at that point for, what, a few minutes? Now, imagine staying there for an hour. The goal of tantric sex is to get your partner to that point of bliss through "outercourse" (i.e. stroking, touching, etc. etc.) and to then keep them there for a sustained period of time. If intercourse/penetration/orgasm happens, fine. If it doesn't, fine. Tantric sex is mindblowingly fun, fulfilling and satisfying. REALLY!
So, after that meeting, about ten couples left with their heads together, laughing softly and considering what they had learned. A month later, they returned to our next meeting GLOWING. I kid you not, GLOWING. We had young couples, older couples, gay couples, straight couples and, wow, were they amazed. The best story was a couple in their mid 70's who said "If only someone had told us this in our 20's we would have had a much better sex life." It really works.
So, take a moment and consider the possibilities. Sexuality isn't just about penetration. Sexuality is 90% brain function. There are so many ways to have fun with sex even if penetration isn't possible. We had an awesome lecture by Dr. Christopher Jayne earlier this summer on sexuality that you can read at: http://www.2006icpatientconference.com. And we sell several videos, books, lubricants and sex toys in our own ICN shop to help patients rediscover this vital part of their lives. http://www.icnshop.com
Jill :)
This was a true story told by a sex therapist and doctor from the UCSF Medical School who came to our IC support group meeting back in 1996. He told the story of a couple who had a sex life that he, frankly, envied. They were loving, compassionate, and completely sexually fulfilled. Yet, there was a shocking twist. The man had been in Vietnam and had suffered a horrific groin/shrapnel injury that had destroyed his penis. It was amputated and he returned home with an injury that most men fear.
So, how can a man without a penis have an amazing sex life that other men who were physically intact envied?? It was all about experimentation. The couple loved each dearly and decided to explore their sexuality in new ways, eventually finding TANTRIC SEX.
What's tantric sex? Imagine getting to that point right before orgasm where everything feels so amazing. We're lucky if we're at that point for, what, a few minutes? Now, imagine staying there for an hour. The goal of tantric sex is to get your partner to that point of bliss through "outercourse" (i.e. stroking, touching, etc. etc.) and to then keep them there for a sustained period of time. If intercourse/penetration/orgasm happens, fine. If it doesn't, fine. Tantric sex is mindblowingly fun, fulfilling and satisfying. REALLY!
So, after that meeting, about ten couples left with their heads together, laughing softly and considering what they had learned. A month later, they returned to our next meeting GLOWING. I kid you not, GLOWING. We had young couples, older couples, gay couples, straight couples and, wow, were they amazed. The best story was a couple in their mid 70's who said "If only someone had told us this in our 20's we would have had a much better sex life." It really works.
So, take a moment and consider the possibilities. Sexuality isn't just about penetration. Sexuality is 90% brain function. There are so many ways to have fun with sex even if penetration isn't possible. We had an awesome lecture by Dr. Christopher Jayne earlier this summer on sexuality that you can read at: http://www.2006icpatientconference.com. And we sell several videos, books, lubricants and sex toys in our own ICN shop to help patients rediscover this vital part of their lives. http://www.icnshop.com
Jill :)