first try in more than a year

[megancolleen]

My partner and I tried intercourse today for the first time in over a year. Very slow, very shallow penetration, lots of lubricant, and probably lasted under a minute. I had never used lube before, never thought I needed, and it makes a huge difference as far as vaginal pain. I'll never go without it again!

Even though this was a baby step, I was pretty nervous. The (few) times we have had sex when I had IC resulted in the most painful flares I have ever had. We decided to do it today because I have a three day weekend to recover if necessary, but I hope it's not necessary! I'd really like to enjoy this weekend NOT in the E.R., but more importantly I'd like to be able to keep moving forward sexually with my partner.

Please think positive, no-flare thoughts for me!

[ladylin]

I hope that you won't get a flare!

[Silverfern]

Fingers crossed for you sweetie!

Hugs

[ihurttoo]

I am so happy that it was a positive experiance! I am also crossing my fingers that you wont have a flare from it. I hope that this will be the start of better days ahead for you and your partner! Hugs, Amy

[vm]

Lube is a girl's best friend. :smile tee

Hoping for flare free days ahead and some good sex for you, too. It's so important. Glad it's gone well so far. :)

[megancolleen]

So far, so good! Thanks everyone!

[mdcbsb]

sex is so painfull that i have even had dreams of having sex with him and it not hurting..and i would wake up crying.i found out yestarday he told me since i don't give it to him someone else would..my depressoin is so deep ia m seeing a counsler tommorw.does anyone else here have problems in their marriage or relationship because of your ic?

[ihurttoo]

sex is so painfull that i have even had dreams of having sex with him and it not hurting..and i would wake up crying.i found out yestarday he told me since i don't give it to him someone else would..my depressoin is so deep ia m seeing a counsler tommorw.does anyone else here have problems in their marriage or relationship because of your ic?Welcome to the ICN!! I am so sorry that we had to meet under these circumstances. To answer your question, yes, several ICers have had marriages end b/c of IC, either being part of the problem or all of it. I am sorry that it is affecting yours too.

I think that the counselor is a great idea. Depression is such a big part of things for most of us anyway, but who wouldnt be depressed with IC as well as marital problems! Please know that we are here for you. There is help and hope here!

I hope that you will have better days soon! Hugs, Amy

[armslee]

The physical part of a marriage being strained can definetly reak havok on the emotional side too. My DH and I really go up and down with our marriage. There are times that I feel so close to him and that is when he is usally much more helpful with me around the house and with our daughter. Although this usually coincides with our intimacy. Actual intercourse has only happened twice this year. Once turned out really well and the last time was terrible :mad: and made me flare for a week. I haven't even thought anymore about it since and we have grown closer apart because of it I guess.

So yes, IC does affect many of our marriages.