Need a little hope

[Tracey5399]

Hey all,

It's been awhile since i have posted anything. I usualy just lurk but i just need to vent today.
I am in this awful flare and am soooo tired of all this.
So here's my little party, i have no friends, no bf or husband no kids. I live w/my parents which i am very grateful to have still here, however they are very ill and there is nothing i can do to help them. I myself fight everyday to get out of bed to do what just sit here & cry. I don't want to do this anymore. We are so poor i can't even get a haircut. I have tried many times to go out and work and doesn't seem to do any good. I just get sicker than get fired or can't go in at all.
I am still fighting w/SSI so my atty tells me at least another year on that but hang in....sometimes i'd like to tell him you hang in there.
I know so many have it worse off than me, i try to think about the young kids with this disease.
It's just so hard i never thought IC would effect my life like this, i thought i would just take the meds and be all better :cussing:
I don't want to be sick anymore, i can't handle it and i don't want to.
And yes for all of you who think i need to see a professional for my depression you are 100% right, but when you live in fl and have no money you have to wait in line like everyone else. So i am waiting for the call so i can talk to someone.
PLEASE any words of encouragement or self help motivation tips would really be helpful right now.

Thanks,
Tracey

[diany]

hola mi inglish no es muy bueno pero esto lo pude traducir en babelfish.altavista.com

siento mucho que estes asi, se lo que es sentirse solo y estar cansado de luchar con esta enfermedad, trata de hacer algo que te devuelva el animo, trata de pensar en otras cosas, mi nombre es dianelba vivo en la republica dominicana y tengo 29 años, con la enfermedad solo 11 meses y pienso que son años ya los que tengo con esta enfermedad, si hay muchas personas peores que nosotros, lamentablemente, pero asi es la vida ni modo nos tocó vivir con esto y mira que hasta que no encuentren una cura, hay que aprender a seguir tolerando los dolores y el ardor que nos mata, cuidate mucho, un abrazo fuerte.





hello my inglish is not very good but this I could translate it in babelfish.altavista.com I feel much that you are like this, what is to feel along and to be tired to fight with this disease, tries to do something that gives back animate to you, tries to think about other things, my name is dianelba i live in the Dominican republic and i have 29 years old, with the disease 11 months and thinks that those are years already that I have with this disease, if there are many people worse than we, lamentably, but asi is the life nor way was called on to us to live with this and sight who until they do not find one cure, are necessary to learn to continue tolerating the pains and the burn that kill to us, take care to much, a strong hug

[enk11]

Hi...sorry you are having such a hard time right now...I am sorry for your problems and the illness of your parents. I know that getting counseling can be expensive, but have you thought about going to a non profit organization such as a church for counseling? here in New York, even if you are not religious or are a member of a differnt religion you can still get counselling for a small donation keyed to what you can afford. give it a try!

[sandi303]

Oh, Tracey, my heart hurts for you!! I hate it that you're having such a rough time of it.

I know how awful it is when IC is at its worse. I was working full time when mine was reeking havoc on me. Every morning I had a little routine I would go through ..... When walking to the shower I would repeat "I can do this", "I can do this".... While getting dressed I would repeat "I can do this", "I can do this"..... While doing all the necessary steps to get ready I would repeat "I can do this", "I can do this" over & over & over ..... All I wanted was to just curl up in a ball & lay there, but I just kept putting one foot in front of the other - just kept telling myself "I CAN DO THIS"!!

I know it's doubly hard when your finances are tight. Perhaps you could find a part time job with little stress or perhaps find something you could do from home to make money?

Again, I'm sooo sorry things are so bad right now .....:grouphug: I will:pray: for you that your situation improves soon!!!

[Babs RN]

Oh don't beat yourself up sweetie. I have also learned what it is like to live really close to parents after living apart off and on. YIKES AND A NEW STATE TOO! Please PM me if you need to.


Hugs,
Barb:hi:

[ShePurzz]

Hello Tracey -- I just ache when I read your post. I feel that you are in one of those dang rock and a hard place situations where you need something now, and all you can do it wait.. ugh.

I hope that you will check out free counseling that may be available for now -- either in a church, or through their family independance or suicide counseling hot lines -- not that you are suicidal, but you are obviously depressed --- aren't we all with IC??? :rant: However, if you call them, it is really possible that they can get you in sooner and for free if you need the help -- let them think you are really going over the edge if you need to in order to get help that will keep you from getting that far along in the depression -- once you get extremely depressed, it is too easy to lose touch with reality and then you would really have a mess on your hands.

I am also sorry to hear about your parents -- can you get any help with them from an agency that would come in and offer to care for them part time? Again, check on anything out there that is no cost or that their insurance may cover -- ANYONE HERE FROM THE STATE OF FLORIDA that can suggest such a place???

Next, is it possible that there is an IC Group in your area? That sometimes helps just to have others who really understand -- and then there is this group -- we love and support you and want to help you deal with issues -- does it help you at all to write it out here and feel the support of others who really understand? If so, come back and write until you get it out of your system -- if that takes a year -- so be it!!! We won't get tired of you -- we all let it hang out and no one has ever asked ME to leave -- I blat on and on about my problems -- in fact, I am in here to ask for a prayer request myself -- and saw yours!

Other than that, I wonder if you don't find an IC group -- is there a church group that has some women about your age that you can confide in and hopefully get a little help and support from? Ask the pastor of your church -- and if you don't have a church -- go to one that is nearby and talk to the pastor -- I am sure they would welcome you with open arms -- it may even be that they would send someone from the church to spend an hour with your parents so you can get out for a while and shop or relax doing something you enjoy! Even a walk or sitting in the park would be better than just sitting and crying because things are so bleak?

If there was sound I would sing to you ---
Take that FROWN offa your face and put a SMILE in it's place and the
WHOLE WORLD will SMILE with you!!! :smile tee

It has the sweetest tune and I used to sing it to my daughters when they were little and were frowning about something -- sad is okay too, but just don't stay there too long -- it can get comfortable and then before you know it, you can't find your happy!!! Find your happy and know that others are here for you!!!

God Bless -- the letter from the spanish women is just wonderful!!! What a blessing she is!!!

Hugs and God Bless!
Mary

[Briza]

Tracey :grouphug: :grouphug:
I am so sorry about your flare and situation. I pray that your flare ends soon and you start feeling better. Please Please pm me your phone number and I will call you. You do have friends...you and I are friends!! Please send me your number so we can talk. I'm alone, too, now, so plenty of time to talk, just me and the cat, dog, and bird living here now. Don't be afraid to reach out. I'm here for you. :kissing:

[Tracey5399]

You ladies are the best, thank you so much for the words of encouragement,support & love.
What you all say is so true, every bit of it.
I will check into the therapy through local church or jewish foundation.
Just so hard when your so down in the dumps, but im gonna say i can do it also, like the little train that could & did!
Thanks again, Brig ill pm you, i would really love to chat.

Thanks ladies,
Tracey

[ICNDonna]

You might also check to see if there's a Catholic Charities, Salvation Army, or Family Service Agency near you. Any one of the three may offer counselling at little or no cost.

Sending encouraging hugs,
Donna

[Trishann]

My mom went through Catholic charities before because of problems which no one could help her find a solution about something, and I tell you what, they were the best. They just know things and how to get things started. I hope you can find help soon. Sometimes we just don't know how to go about it and there are people who do.

My heart goes out to you, and I pray things will start turning around for you.

Hugs, Trishann

[July]

IC can make us seem so isolated sometimes. I have found that just talking to other people (not necessarily about IC, but even just daily conversation topics) and getting out of the house (even for just short periods) can be helpful to feel less isolated and depressed. Perhaps volunteering could help, because then you could set your own hours (which is nice if you are not feeling so good and need flexible hours.)

If you'd like to speak to a professional, pastors and chaplains are trained in counseling. You may want to contact a local church or hospital. I would assume the counseling would be free of charge or a minimal fee.

I will pray that hope and strength and healing enter your life soon, and each day you find yourself feeling better.:)

[ihurttoo]

Your post just broke my heart! You have so much on your plate, but I see that you are much stronger than you even think you are. How do I know this? Because your situation would have caused many people to have a nervous breakdown by now, (myself included!) So, you must be very strong!

I think all of the suggestions that you were given are great, and I hope you follow thru with them to get the help you need. I would also call United Way, and ask to speak to a social worker. Social Workers are trained to put people in touch with the community resources that they need. Make sure you tell her about your parents, your need for counseling, and your financial situation, to see if she can put you in touch with organizations in your area that can help you.

I will be praying for you and your family. If you ever need to talk to someone, I will be glad to call you too. I dont have many friends either, and I would be glad to be a friend to you, or a sounding board if you need one. Just pm me and give me your number, if you would like for me to call.

I hope things get better for you soon. I know things are hard right now, but I really think that there are places that can help you. You just have to find them, and a social worker would be the best source to help you find them.

Sending you lots of hugs,
Amy

[Tracey5399]

Hi,

I just wanted to thank everyone again for the warm words & encouragement.
I finally got my appointment with the therapist through the clinic i go to next tuesday. I spoke with her today a bit about my backround and what is going on since IC, she sounded so nice and so helpful. I am feeling very positive today.. so thanks for the prayers they are working.

Tracey :)

[Sassyvwgal]

I just recently found out I had IC and after reading the message boards and saw what could be in my future I became rather depressed. I'd been reading about people and remission. Most were saying they had, 3 days of remission. Funny but that was quite depressing until my oldest son turned to me and said, "Mom, to see you not in pain for even 3 days would make me the happiest person on this earth!" Those simple words helped cheer me up and made me realize that when I do have good days, I am going to do everything I can and enjoy that time to the fullest.

I know this probably isn't much help, and I understand how hard it must be for you, but when you do have a good day, try to live it to the fullest so you'll have something to look back on and smile about even in your darkest times. My Mother always said, "Everything in Time!" That can mean a lot of things, but to me it always makes me remember that things can get better even if it's only for a few fleeting moments.

We are only given the things we are capable of handling. Hard as it seems at the moment. We must all learn to find the lessons in what we've been given. Maybe we are here to help others learn to see that even in pain, some of us continue to work, raise children, care for elderly parents, sing in their church choir, paint, scrapbook, or whatever.

One day, all this will be over. We need to make the most of what we can now! Try to find happiness in just one thing each day. No matter how little it seems. Then focus on that happiness when the pain gets bad. Try not to stress over it. It will only make it worse. Pain is a horrible thing. It's something you can't get away from, but feed your soul with joy and happiness and maybe it will ease your pain just a little.

Sassy

[ICLori]

One of these days someone will come up with a cure for IC - they are learning so much more that surely the time will come soon. Please just hang in there. I'm trying to hang in there too. I know it's hard. (((HUGS)))

Blessings,
Lori