Feeling a bit unloved and in pain

[George]

Hi All,

I'm just a bit flat at the moment. I've not been on the boards posting for a while. Those of you who know me may remember that my relationship ended in April and I listed my apartment for sale. Well the apartment sold fairly quickly and I have just moved out last week. I have my stuff in storage and am staying at a friend's place in the short term. I'm happy that my apartment sold. I was real worried that it wouldn't sell. But I'm just feeling so up rooted. I'm living out of a suitcase and just don't have the energy to look for an apartment. I'm feeling a bit unloved at the moment as I don't have many friends and I don't want to get in the way where I am staying. My bladder pain has just gotten worse over the past 2 weeks. I think the move, packing up and just the stress of the sale have not helped as well. But I'm really having a lot of pain and I don't know what to do. I have been staring at a bottle of Elmiron for about 2 months now and am just petrified to take it because I am scared of side effects.

I was hoping to post a really positive post about selling my apartment and moving on with my life, but truthfully I'm just feeling flat. I suppose it's all hit me and I am feeling just so unsettled. I'm feeling very unloved after the relationship breakdown, and I don't say anything about my pain to the friend I am staying with or to my work mates. They just don't really understand. I try my best and people think I am just fine. Unfortunately I'm not. My relationship broke down because of IC.

Well I just wanted a bit of support. I'm sorry I don't have anything positive to say at the moment. I just wish I could get on top of this pain. Also my frequency is way up as well.

Okay I'll finish up.

George

[christalbean]

Hi George,
Just wanted to send some love your way, and to let you know that you are loved, by everyone that reads these posts.
My relationship w/my son's father also ended over the struggle w/IC. But, I got over it eventually.
I'm not saying quickly or painlessly, but it will happen.
About the Elmiron, I have been on it for over a year at one point and had no adverse effects. That is only me, everyone is different. I did hear some great news about aloe vera. Have you looked into that?
It is suppose to work the same as Elmiron w/out all the side effects b/c it's all natural. Just google Desert Harvest Aloe Vera, they even have a info. on how it helps IC.
Just thought I would throw that out there.
Good Luck,
Christal

[Kara29]

George,

I know how you are feeling as I am feeling similar for different reasons. It's ok to feel down and not every post has to be positive. We all feel this pressure to move on with life and be positive but sometimes that just doesn't happen right away. I think it's wonderful that your apartment sold. At least you have one less thing to worry about in this whole process. And it is a process. One thing at a time, one day at a time. I know how you feel about not talking about your pain to your friends. I am in the same boat as far as that is concerned. Living in someone else's house under the stress and pressure that you are under can cause an increase in your IC pain. As far as the side effects of Elmiron. I can understand your fears. You could talk to your doctor about slowly trying it. For example try taking it once for one day and see how you are doing. Then if you feel a little more confident with that, and are having little to no side effects, maybe your doctor would have you step it up and see how you are feeling. In the short term that may not do anything for the pain becauase as you know it's a medication that can sometimes take time to work and has to build up into your system to start seeing the benefits. In the long term though, it could decrease the IC pain and frequency. With time, I hope that you find a place of your own and can start to move on and take care of You! I bet all of your regular IC supporters will be glad to see you on here, I am sure. I hope they can send you some positive feedback and support.

George, sending along healing wishes and some warm hugs!

Kara

[ICNDonna]

I think you'll feel much better once you get moved to a place of your own, even if it's not where you'll be staying for very long. Maybe you could just lease a small place just so you'll be more relaxed.

I hope you'll decide to give elmiron a try. If you do have side effects, they go away fairly quickly --- and only a very few do react poorly. I speak from experience because I did have a side effect (headache) and it went away within 48 hours of stopping the medication.

Sending warm healing thoughts,
Donna

[vm]

You have a lot going on, huh? Big, big changes. It's no wonder you are feeling flat. :(

One quick thing about side effects - the nice thing is that if you have them you can always stop the med and they will go away. Are you someone that typically gets the side effects from meds?

As I read your post it made me think of this passage I have saved on my computer. It helps me so much when I am in the middle of big changes:

IN-BETWEEN

Sometimes, to get from where we are to where we are going, we have to be willing to be in-between.

One of the hardest parts of recovery is the concept of letting go of what is old and familiar, but what we don't want, and being willing to stand with our hands empty while we wait for God to fill them.

This may apply to feelings. We may have been full of hurt and anger. In some ways, these feelings have become comfortably familiar. When we finally face and relinquish our grief, we may feel empty for a time. We are in between pain and the joy of serenity and acceptance.

Being in-between can apply to relationships. To prepare ourselves for the new, we need to first let go of the old. This can be frightening. We may feel empty and lost for a time. We may feel all alone, wondering what is wrong with us for letting go of the proverbial bird-in-hand, when there is nothing in the bush.

Being in-between can apply to many areas of recovery. We can be in-between jobs, careers, homes, or goals. We can be in between behaviors as we let go of the old and are not certain what we will replace it with. This can apply to behaviors that have protected and served us well all of our life, such as caretaking and controlling.

We may have many feelings going on when we're in-between: spurts of grief about what we have let go of or lost, and feelings of anxiety, fear, and apprehension about what's ahead. These are normal feelings for the in-between place. Accept them. Feel them. Release them.

Being in-between isn't fun, but it's necessary. It will not last forever. It may feel like we're standing still, but we're not. We're standing at the in-between place. It's how we get from here to there. It is not the destination.

We are moving forward, even when we're in-between.

Today, I will accept where I am as the ideal place for me to be. If I am in-between, I will strive for faith that this place is not without purpose, that it is moving me toward something good.

The Language of Letting Go, Melody Beattie

[ICLori]

Hi, George, big hugs to you! (((HUGS))) I know it can be a terrible feeling, not having a home of one's own. I remember when our place burned down, we were in a temporary hotel type place for a month - I couldn't wait to move back into a real home and have real furniture again etc.! So I understand. Hopefully you will find a place soon and feel better.

I hope that your bladder will feel better soon, too. I took Elmiron for a year and half and the only side effects I got, were very mild diarrhea the first week or two - then my body adjusted and I was fine. I'm one of the unlucky ones for whom Elmiron didn't work, so I had to move on to try other meds, but I'd like to urge you to go ahead and start taking the Elmiron. Believe me, whatever side effects you might have, can't possibly be as bad as what you are experiencing right now with the bladder pain. Am I right? And you might be one of the lucky ones who get relief fairly quickly (before six months.) Wouldn't it be the most wonderful thing to go into remission? There's not much hope of getting better, if you don't try some remedy or another....and this disease is so awful, I hate to think of you living with the pain any longer than you really have to.

Blessings,
Lori

[Janie Miranda]

Hi George,
Hang in there, buddy. You are in our thoughts and prayers here on the boards. I hope you'll be feeling better soon.
Please give the elmiron a try. I was like you, very afraid to try it, but I'm very glad now that I did. It has helped me a lot. I've had very slight side effects - a bit of a headache when I first tried it (took it out of the capsule and poured it in water and that took care of that side effect) and had a little heartburn. I took zantac for a while because of that side effect. Now I have no side effects from it. Just a better quality of life.
I hope you will also benefit from elmiron or find another drug or treatment that will help you feel better.
jane

[ihurttoo]

HI George!!! Aww, of course you are loved!! We dont even know you that well, yet we all adore you! So, I am sure that those who really do know you really are crazy about you too!

I agree with the others. It is worth giving the Elmiron a shot. I mean some people never have any side effects, some people have side effects but they go away very soon. Yes, some are bothered enough by side effects that they must go off of it. But, when that happens, the side effects go away as soon as the med is discontinued.

Remember to get some payoffs, you have to take some risks! This applies with the Elmiron, and in finding an appt. Until you find your own place, you are not going to feel settled in your bladder or in your life. So, you gotta get out there and look!

We will be here to support you every step of the way. You are loved and supported here, exactly as you are. Please lean us when you need support. Hugs, Amy

[George]

Thanks to everyone for replying to me. I just need a bit of a boost to keep going in the right direction. Thanks to my buddies here for doing that. I'll post again soon and let you know how I'm doing.

George

[BeachBaby]

Hi George.

Not sure if I have ever responded to any of your posts, but I do know I have read a few of yours. I did know your relationship had ended. I am so sorry not only about that, but also at how long it really takes for us to get ourselves re adjusted.

I too would encourage the Elmiron, like others have said, the side effects DO stop immediately and from my experience, they are minimal for most of us and diminish on their own. If not, it can just be stopped. what if it is the thing that can eventually lead you down the road to recovery? And if not that, how about the many other options...I myself am thinking of trying the algonot treatments at some point, as it also seems to have some anti inflammatory properties. I am down to a very low dose of Elmiron, so if I ever get the courage to stop it completely, this might be one I would use instead.

But, enough med talk...I hope that you might find a place of your own soon and once again be able to find comfort in coming home. I bet it is just not so appealing right now, but you might be more apt to reach out and meet people, have casual dinners and just hang out if you had a place to hang your hat.

I hope it is all something you resolve sooner than later...don't let the depression get too big before you use some energy to seek out options.

I love Kim's "in between" story, it is a great reminder of how life can be so middle of the road at times and appear to look as if everyone but us has life all figured out! We don't, for sure.

I really hope you feel better soon! :kiss:

[sandramac]

:kiss: Just wanted to send you a big hug and kiss !Sandra:cat: :cat: :cat:

[dancemomof2]

(((((GEORGE))))) You know we all love you. Try that Elmiron again, cheer up there is so much out there to do and we are all waiting to hear about your fun while we sit and wait wait with our finger nails tapping.

[Katrina]

Hi George, I am happy to see you posting on the boards again...even though I wish it were for happier reasons, I strongly believe that we should help each other through the hard times and cellebrate the good times together....your never alone!

I really like what Kim wrote...those


I do agree that giving Elmiron a try is worth it....and although many have no side effects at all...those that do can often avoid them by taking it out of the capsule or stopping and restarting the med.


Either way, I hope that you find a way to feel physically better soon.

I also hope and pray that this transitional time becomes a lot easier and you see yourslf headed in a possitive direction soon :grouphug:

[tigger_gal]

we love ya george... I know how ya feel about feeling un loved, and I live with my husband... gee honey if you only knew what was going on in my life ;)
So sorry you have to deal with so much.. but we all understand how you feel.. we're mostly women.. we got that knack for things ya know.. If you need to talk you can pm me and I'll send you my email addy.. we can compare notes, maybe a few jokes and laughs...
keep your head up... and smile..

[ShePurzz]

Hey George,
A lot going on in your life... feeling flat or sad sounds about par for the course.

I am sorry you are struggling with the IC on top of it all. I have used Elmiron in the past without any side effects until I had to take a different medication along with it for another issue -- then I couldn't take both so I gave up the Elmiron -- however -- I had taken it for over a year at one point without side effects... I hope the same for you -- If you are in a flare up -- it is worth at least giving it a try -- as long as you have it, the worst is that you will have to stop it... but, perhaps you will be able to take it without problems!

As far as selling your apartment -- it has to feel like letting go of a part of yourself and your relationship too-- I am sorry -- that stinks regardless of how you look at it -- I hope you will find a nice place that is exciting and new to you and that once you get moved into it you will find a blessing in having something new to decorate, to make your own and to find the future exciting rather than a bummer.

Perhaps this is the time you are going to find a wonderful place, a wonderful new neighborhood, and hopefully new friends as well -- sounds like you are lonely not having a lot of friends -- I hope you do find make some new freindships!

I wish to say a little prayer for you too.

Dear Father, Please take a hold of George tonight Lord, and wrap your arms around tightly so that he will know you are very close and that you love him dearly. I pray that you will open the doors for a nice new home//apartment to call home and that it will be in a place where new friends are close by. I also ask that you would help his body to accept the Elmiron so that he can get through this flare, but that it will be short and that it will pass quickly.

Thank you Jesus for loving us and caring for us and for every detail of our lives. Thank you for I know already that you will hear and answer our prayers if we come to you believing that you will do what we ask in your name.

Amen,
Mary

Be Blessed today George!

[Trishann]

Hi George, I can understand why you are low with all the changes in your life. I think we all need a boost once in awhile to keep going in the right direction. That IC, I know it likes to kick us hard, but kick it right back, I know you can do it. Changes is really a hard thing but it also can lead to better things. Good things will come around. Hang in there, you can make this happen.

Trishann

[George]

Thanks to all for your wonderful support, your prayers, the lovely verse about being "In Between" and just for being there for me in general. Today was a really really busy day at work and my bladder was just screaming. I was just feeling very fragile at work and nearly burst into tears because I was in a lot of pain. I'll be okay, so don't worry too much about me, I just need to write it all out and then try and get on with things. This pain level is something that I haven't experienced for a while and I think the stress I am under is not helping. I hope I don't have a UTI or something but I'm not having so much burning as pain.

I haven't rented in many years and I am just so inexperienced about how competitive it is out there to rent somewhere. I have telephoned real estate agents to enquire whether apartments have a bath which is essential to me and they almost laugh at me. I just need to sit in a tub of hot water a couple of times a day to get some relief. I also wanted to arrange an inspection of some apartments during my lunch hour and the agents have almost laughed as well. I can't believe it. Anyway I shouldn't blurb on, lol. With a screaming bladder it really is difficult to get in the car and drive around to see apartments. Oh well.

I don't know what to do about this pain. My bladder just hurts and I feel like I have to pee a lot to try and relieve the pain. I actually think my condition is getting worse. I don't think it has been this bad.

I have thought a lot about taking Elmiron and think I will just have to bite the bullet and take it. I've been so nervous about taking it but I have to start some sort of treatment. It will either work or it won't but I'll never know if I stare at the bottle on the dresser.

Sorry Gang that I'm not a bit more upbeat tonight. I'm trying to get on top of things and I know I will, it's just at the moment I'm in a lot of pain and can't get any relief. If I call the uro he will just ask whether I have started the Elmiron, and if I call the GP he will just ask the same.

Thanks everyone for your kind thoughts.

George

[SharonA]

George...I am curious about something you wrote in your last post. I have telephoned real estate agents to enquire whether apartments have a bath which is essential to me and they almost laugh at me. Do you have apartments that do not have bathrooms in them? I remember my very first apartment. I had to share a bathroom with the apartment across the hall from me, but that was ions ago. I didn't think that sort of thing happend any longer.

Please get checked for an infection. At least you would know for sure if it is a UTI or not. Then you can start a check list to eliminate things that it could be. My major trigger is stress and, my goodness, you certainly have had your share of that, lately. I don't know of many things more stressful than moving. Then you add not knowing where you will be living and, BLAMO, major stress.

I do hope you find out what is causing all your pain. Shoot...not knowing that is stressful, also. :dizzy:

[ShePurzz]

George...I am curious about something you wrote in your last post. I have telephoned real estate agents to enquire whether apartments have a bath which is essential to me and they almost laugh at me. Do you have apartments that do not have bathrooms in them? I remember my very first apartment. I had to share a bathroom with the apartment across the hall from me, but that was ions ago. I didn't think that sort of thing happend any longer. :dizzy:


I think he said "bath" not bathroom -- meaning a tub to soak in... if not, we need to pitch in and get him an apartment with a tub -- in this day and age, you don't want to share a bathroom with anyone if you have IC :smile tee

George, keep putting one foot in front of the other... Yesterday, I was in so much pain from the headache and other things that are going on right now... My husband came in as I was getting ready for church and asked me what I was going to do -- (meaning was I going to try to go to church or was I going to stay home...) -- well, I didn't WANT to go to church, I wanted to crawl inside a cacoon and just feel better, but I replied... I am going to put one foot in front of the other and see if that propells me forward... and then, if it does, I am going to try it with the other foot and do the same... hopefully, I will get somewhere today...

I hope that encourages you -- even when you feel so lousy, just putting one foot in front of the other is a big deal!!! When you do that much, you can be proud of yourself for continuing to propell yourself in a direction -- if it happens to be the right direction -- then that is even better... but some days, just lifting that foot off the ground and moving it in a forward direction is enough to call for a celebration!

Celebrate your successes today and congratulations on having an attitude of 'I will survive!' that is truly difficult to do some days!

Hey, hold out for the tub!!! And I will continue to ask that the Elmiron works for your system! God Bless!
Mary

[SharonA]

Mary...You are so right. :bonk: That is what George wants...a tub. Of course!!!!! Thanks for pointing that out.

George...Now you don't have to set me straight. I understand. :lmao:

[poetgirl]

George,

Going through such major changes in your life is apt to make you feel flat and also bring your stress levels through the roof, which does not help either. Just remind yourself each day that you're moving forward, step by step, towards healing your heart and body.

I agree that it may help to try Elmiron. It helped my bladder heal to where I am no longer in pain and discomfort, and it may help you too.

Good luck with your apartment-hunting! I hope you find something you like that feels safe and nurturing...and has a fabulous tub! :)

:grouphug:

[George]

Thanks all for your replies. Sorry about the confusion. I meant a bathtub to soak in. Most of the apartments listed that I want to look at just have a shower and not a tub.

Today I'm feeling a little better in terms of just getting on with things. I'm not as flat as I was last night which is a good thing. I'm just going to keep putting one foot in front of the other and keep my life moving forward. I appreciate being able to come here and receive the wonderful support. You are all fantastic people.

Thanks Gang for caring.

George

[marsi4]

Hi George,

Living with ic is so very difficult and painful. I'm sorry that you are feeling down. I am quite discouraged as well with this condition. Are you having side effects with the Elmiron, or are you afraid of having side effects? The side effects are minimal. Don't worry about Elmiron. Most of us on this board have been on it at one time or another and there was no harm done. George, have you had a hydro-distention done? That may help more than the Elmiron. If you are reluctant to take Elmiron, then you can try heparin instills. They do exactly what elmiron is supposed to do much quicker because they are instiled directly into the bladder, where they need to go. I don't know if you find catheterizing painful. If so, forget about it. I would also recommend that you seek pain management if your pain persists and is really difficult to cope with. Hope you find a way to fee better. Please come back and post and let us know how you are doing. Don't worry about not posting something positive or uplifting. We are here to do that for you. Afterall, this is a board for support and it's expected that we will come here to vent, or seek support and comfort. Hang in there.

Marsi4