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View Full Version : The "I hate everything" Day


armslee
07-24-2006, 06:54 AM
I am beginning to loathe my job. It isn't the actual physical part of the job that is bad, but the resentment from the people here and the tension it is causing that I hate.

I get up every morning and countdown the days until I have to comeback to work fulltime. I am waiting for my doctor to make my pain clinic referral so that can maybe, possibly, actually be a possiblilty, that is...for me to come back to work full time.

Today I come in, and the office manager who I have always thought of as a workplace "friend" (and by the way, let me mention that she is married to my boss) had a complete and total meltdown on me this morning because she thinks that her stress headaches that she is having are because of me leaving work 2 hrs early each day.
Wha???
She is actually having to take Topamax now (1/3 of the dose I take, by the way) to help control her headaches. And as I tried to tell her that Topmax would probably help her she freaked about how she prided on never having to take medication.
Oh my!!!
At this point I wasn't sure what to even say to her. I tried to be sympathetic and when I tried to hug her I thought she was going to explode on me :confused: It was so bizarre!
So, on she rambled about how me leaving early right now kept her from being able to leave early and she knew that sounded selfish (:cussing: ) but she couldn't help but have resentment. And that my boss was having some health problems and that he was being fussed up with her because I wasn't here for his every beck and call.
At this point my mind just cracked open and I couldn't control my emotions anymore. I knew that I couldn't say what I really wanted to say so I just let the tears roll down my cheeks. She kept saying "when you are better, when you get better" and I looked at her and said, "this is the best it is going to be for me. I have to find ways to cope with it and if you need to find someone to replace me then just go ahead because this is really no fun for me".

**Angie**
07-24-2006, 07:57 AM
I am so sorry you are having so a horrible a time. I feel for everyone who has to work with IC. I really don't know how you do it. I think your amazing!!
I do hate it so much when someone says "well, when your better you can..." I know they don't understand but its still so frustrating!!
You just keep doing the best you can and working on finding what's going to make you feel better.

Kara29
07-24-2006, 09:56 AM
Wendi,

Sending you a HUUUUUUUUUGE HUG :grouphug: :grouphug: :grouphug: ((((((((((((((((((((WENDI)))))))))))))))))))))) You didn't deserve her outburst!
There is no excuse for her behavior.

Wishing you better days ahead!:flower:

Kara

Briza
07-24-2006, 09:59 AM
:grouphug:
During my first year with IC and vulvodynia I missed tons of work, had 3 surgeries, and being a teacher had to deal with the principal, 2 asst principals, and all the other teachers asking me what was wrong with me (I didn't know?!?!), why I couldn't tell them what was wrong (too personal), and when was I going to better (possibly never!).
Like you, I did the absolute best I could in an impossible situation. I needed my job, otherwise there were many days I would have just walked out. Hang in there. I'm certain once you get adequate pain management everything will turn around for you. It did for me.
:angel: