Very concerned.

[dancemomof2]

I have been struggling with this in my mind and have to get it off my chest. is spend alot of time on the phone supporting IC friends. I love to do this it helps me as well as them. Over the past couple of months several and by several I mean more then 20 of us have become very discouraged by the boards and the stalking behavior that a few people show. We have all even discussed the possiblily of just not coming here for support but know that several others need a friendly ear to listen and give answers to. We are discouraged at the way some are aloud to behave and some are not aloud to take up for themselves when this action is handed to us. We are the negative ones but no one i slooking at the actual reality of the situtations. i know this post will be gone shortly but I thought I had to get this out for all of us who are dtruggling with the constant PM's and actual unrealistic conduct that we receive in them. Our main question is why are we the ones ask to be a little more polite when we are getting talked down to.

I understand pain is a major contributer to our attittude on some days as well as fatigue, flares etc. But alot of this is stuff we all can control if we try. I am sorry for this post and i will gladly leave the boards is you wish, but Ireally needed to take a stand for all of the olde member who are having a hard time here lately.

[ICNDonna]

Please --- send me an email or a private message and point me to the posts you reference.

Warm hugs,
Donna

[armslee]

Isn't there a way to block PM's that you don't want to receive? Or do you have to turn the whole option off?

[ICNDonna]

If you go to the Private Message board, on the left you will see, under Miscellaneous, an option for "buddy list/ignore" --- if you wish to block a specific individual for sending you PMs, you can do it there.

Donna

[curlycue]

WOW I thought we were all here to support each other, lets not forget why we come here, to HELP each other.

[Kara Isabel]

I'm still clueless as to who is stirring up everyone here, but I think that everyone should be treated fairly and nobody should feel compelled to leave because someone is playing games or provoking chaos/discontent........Please don't leave! Just block whoever is bothering you and ignore their posts.

This is all probably becoming confusing to the other newbies that aren't part of the close knit clique.

Maybe you could all speak with a moderator about banning this persons' use of PM's?? You or any other person NOT should be harrassed on a support board. Shame on them.

hugs,
Kara I.

[dancemomof2]

Curly, that was my point suppost not add more stress to our already hectic lives.

[creatingkarma]

TY for everything, Leslie!

[patricia1]

Leslie all I can say is :grouphug: and :kiss:

[BigFig]

I have been coming to these boards since December and was shocked the first time I got a negative response from someone who thought I was picking on them, or how was it put "singling them out" for trying to help them. I have since then, when I see where someone has posted in a wrong area, don't say anything. I guess I now don't feel like it is my place to do this. I was also mistaken as someone else who was having issues with post that where made to her on her thread, that she evidently didn't like. Even though I got an apology from the person and from the moderator it still has stuck in my mind. Since then several good people with great support have left the board:( I also decided not to spend so much time on here. It was bringing me down when this has always been a place that I found peace and comfort. I hope that the moderators can resolve these problems, so that the rest of us can still find this place comforting.:grouphug:

[traceann]

Believe me gang, we'll try our best!! :) We want everyone to feel safe, not afraid to post, and most importantly at home.

HUGS!!
Tracey

[dancemomof2]

Thanks girls, I hate to vent like that but stuff like this can suck the life right out of a person quickly when it continues to go on and on. I cherish every call I get and love talking to you all, and wish none of this were happening to such an important part of my life.

[BigFig]

Thanks girls, I hate to vent like that but stuff like this can suck the life right out of a person quickly when it continues to go on and on. I cherish every call I get and love talking to you all, and wish none of this were happening to such an important part of my life.

Ditto! Thanks for starting this thread. It felt good putting into words my recent experiences and getting it out there! I personally don't like what has been going on here. I don't live my life that way and am turned off by it.:grouphug:

[Dixiefireball]

I agree with Kara Isabel I don't know where all of this is coming from, but feel so badly it is happening. I wish it would all stop....in all my years of being here I've never seen this board this much in a up roar......Leslie and all you others who feel you have been single out please report it...that way things can be opened up and hopefully fixed....No one should feel this way....We all need each other....
sending hugs and prayers to all
Rhonda

[ICNDonna]

Rhonda is right. We can't fix it if we don't know what is broken and who broke it.

Donna

[Trishann]

Couple of weeks ago I received a private message from someone. For awhile we were sending each other PM's and it was really great to have a friend. But then suddenly I received a PM from this person telling me I am not who I say I am, saying I had a false identity, telling me to give this person my true identity and that person will not tell. I was told by this person to write back and tell my true idenity. I really don't understand all of this, but I wrote back to this person and said, "Since there is so much distrust, it is time to not PM no more. I don't know if this person really felt that way or if something was up. That is why I have been on the board more, because I don't want to PM no more.

My daughter is the one that set me up on the computer so I can write. I still get confused about how to get on certain site. About the only thing I know how to do, is to make comments or PM. I am afraid of making a mistake and if I did I'm sorry. I'm learning more on the computer. I guess that is why I freaked out about this idenity stuff. I don't understand what the problem was about. This person wanted to talk on the telephone but my husband told me never give out my telephone number on the internet. Maybe that is why this person distrust me. I don't know. This kind of stuff is scary because is this person has problems with trusting people, which that is fine, but is it someone doing something on this net.

[BellaTutu]

Leslie and Karma..

I've read both of your posts and I agree 150% with everything you both said. THAT is why I left...exactly why.....I tried to give examples but no one would forward them onto Jill as I asked because her inbox was full at the time - or what I DID post got deleted immediately for no good reason in my opinion.

I'd love to come back.....but under these circumstances....I just simply cannot afford to have my life (or myself) turned upside down because of a few bad seeds on here.

HUGS TO YOU BOTH!!

Bella

[traceann]

Trishann - you have done NOTHING wrong!!! You are doing everything correctly :) so no worries!! Sounds like it's probably best you let it go. I agree, do NOT give out your phone number unless you are CERTAIN it will be a safe move - and even then think twice! ;) And if they can't understand that you'd rather not divulge such information, that's too bad it's your personal right.

Please don't be afraid of doing anything wrong ok? You just go on posting and helping and being helped! You will run across some situations that your better judgement says "NO WAY" to, and that's perfectly fine and acceptable!!!

BIG HUGS!!!

[Bianchi]

Sometimes it only takes one bad apple to ruin everything, just like in an office. You have one trouble maker and the whole office can be unhappy and out of sorts, and some employees even start leaving. I hope the moderators can solve this, it's too bad.
Everyone take care,
Bianchi

[Dixiefireball]

Trishann you did nothing wrong and i don't blame you. You should had FWD: those P.M's to the ICN so they could had seen what was going and and handle it. We got to stick together to get all these bad apples that are causing problems out of the group of good apples are we can lose our support system.
Standing together we can stop this, but we got to report what is going on to be able to make it stop!
Rhonda

[Trishann]

Thank you Traceann, sometimes I need answers and this is a great place to find it. And I do hope I can help others with the little knowlegde I do know. Thank you for your reassurement.

[traceann]

You are so very welcome Trishann!!! ;) I agree, this place is fabulous for information - and support too, sometimes you do run into an unfortunate circumstance to two, but always do what feels right to you and only what's comfortable for you!! ;) Glad you're here!!!!! :) :)

HUGS!!!

[icnmgrjill]

Someone has to be willing to give us names, messages and/or copies of private messages before we can do anything. It's not fair for anyone to accuse us of inaction... when noone will tell us who this is about. Donna is right... we can't fix it unless you show us specific examples of what is bothering you.

If any of you feel that someone is stalking someone else, I will take that seriously... but I can't do anything if I don't even have a name. I can't read anyones mind here... you've got to tell me more... preferably by phone!

Call me... (707)538-9442 10AM to 5PM PST... I'm usually here every day.

Also... TrishAnn... could you please PM me with details on what happened, who was it... and who asked to talk with you by phone??? That just sounds suspicious to me and I would like to know more about this.

Jill O.