I'm so sick of people and my bladder!

[pottywoman]

Why do people keep helping other people who make my life miserable???? When I am the only one who will help these people and the person who makes my life miserable wouldn't give them the time of day. I'm sick of it and yet I'm suppose to keep my mouth shut and take it. I'm sick of it really. I'm tired of being the door mat for the world. Sometimes I wish I could just go and live at my Uro's office. Could do their cleaning at night and all I need during the day is a bathroom. What do you think? Sound like a plan? I'm really really tired. :rolleyes: :(

[kdfurgi]

i believe that may be a good idea. i have had to deal with that recently with my sons kindergarten class. i went running around the day before halloween this fall and bought stuff for the kids to have as party favors because no one would sign up for it. then at thanksgiving and christmas i made food and the kids got a candycane of the tree because no one went to buy party favors. well a week before valentines i went to find party favors and then a week before easter i did the same thing. i was helped with the last 2 parties because one of the moms was not going to attend and our kids spend a lot of time together so she gave me a little money and i doubled it with my money and that is what i used to buy the party favors. well they are having an end of the year party in may and the teacher realized what i had done each time and wrote on the list outside the door that i was only allowed to by paper plates, plastic spoons and forks, or napkins. several of the moms were mad and she told them that i had done a great job of filling in at last minute to buy the party favors and running all over town for the week before the party and this time someone else needed to do it! so i completely feel for you and hope it gets better soon.

[ICNDonna]

When I was a girl scout troop leader, I had 42 girls in my troop --- a very large troop because no other parent would take a troop and I couldn't stand to see girls turned away. One other mother had agreed to help with the troop if I would take it --- after a very short time she quit! so I was left with 42 grade school girls to manage. I had only three mothers who would help at all, but definitely had some who didn't like anything we did!

At my age, I've finally realized that this is the way life is and there isn't anything I can do to fix it.

Hugs,
Donna

[Mrs. Burschman]

Pottywoman,

My urologist's office is not attractive. The pain clinic is better. I maybe could live there. But I'd miss my bed!

Amy (Mrs. B) :)

[dg2901]

I feel for ya!

:)
d

[pottywoman]

There sure are a lot of pushy people in the world. Wish I could be pushy too but I"m such a wimp! Oh, Amy-my urologists office is really nice. He has one really great "table" that I could sleep on easy. Plus he has nice bathrooms. Add a tv and I'm all set. :biglaugh: They used to have the clean up towels sent out for washing. I kept telling them how I could do the laundry for them if they installed a washer/dryer. Now they've gone to throw away clean up towels.

[tigger_gal]

pottywomen, print this up and hand it out to people... I hope it helps, when it was sent to me 4 years ago it was a god send.
Letter To People WITHOUT Chronic Pain

Having chronic pain means many things change, and a lot of them are invisible. Unlike having
cancer or being hurt in an accident, most people do not understand even a little about chronic
pain and its effects, and of those that think they know, many are actually misinformed. In the
spirit of informing those who wis to understand.......

..... These are the things that I would like you to understand about me before you judge me...,,
Please understand that being sick dosen't mean I'm not still a human being. I have to spend most
of my day un considerable pain and exhaustion, and if you visit, sometimes I probably don't seem
like much fun to be with, but I am still me-- stuck inside this body. I still worry about school, my
family, my friends, and most of the time - I'd still like to hear you talk about yours, too..,, Please
understand the difference between "happy" and "healthy." When you've got the flu, you probably
feel miserable with it, but, I've been sick for years. I can't be miserable all the time. In fact,
I work hard at not being miserable. So, if you're talking to me and I sound happy, it means I am
happy. Thats all. It dosen't mean that I'm not in alot of pain, or extreamly tired, or that I'm
getting better, or any of those things. Please don't say, "Oh, you're sounding better! or "but
you look so healthy!" I am merely coping. I am sounding happy and trying to look normal. If you
want to comment on that your welcome... Please understand that being able to stand up for ten
minutes dosen't necessarily mean that I can stand up for twenty minutes, or an hour. Just
because I managed to stand up for thirty minutes yesterday dosen't mean that I can do the
same today. With alot of diseases you're either paralyzed, or you can move. With this one,
it gets more confusing everday. It can be like a yo-yo. I never know from day to day, how
I am going to feel when I wake up. In most cases, I never know from minute to minute. That
is one of the hardest and most frustrating componets of chronic pain.
Thats what chronic pain dose to you!

Please understand the chronic pain is variable. It is quite possible (for many, its common) that
one day I am able to walk to the park and back, while the next day, I'll have trouble getting
to the next room. Please don't attack me when I'm saying, "But you did it before!" or Oh,
come on, I know you can do this! If you want me to do something, then ask if I can. In a
similar vein, I may need to cancel previous commitment at the last minute. If this happens,
please do not take it personally. If you are able, please try to remember how very lucky
you are--to be physically able to do all of the things that you can do. Please understand that,
"getting out and doing things" dose not make me feel beter, and can often make me seriously worse.
You don't know what I go through or how I suffer in my own privite time. Telling me that I
need to exercise, or do some things to get my mind off of it may frustrate me to tears, and
is not correct if I was capable of doing some things any or all of the time, don't you
think I would??

I am working with my doctor and I am doing what I am supposed to do. Another statement that
hurts is "you just need to push yourself more, try harder.." Obviously, chronic pain can deal
with the whole body, or be localized to specific areas. Sometimes participating in a single
activity for a short period of time can cause more damage and physical pain than you
could ever imagine. Not to mention the recovery time, which can be intense. You can't always
read it on my face ot in my body language. Also, chronic pain may cause secondary depression
(wouldn't you get depressed and down if you were hurting constantly for months or years?)
but it is not created by depression.

Please understand if I have to sit down/lie/downstay in bed/ or take hese pills now, that
probably means that I do have to do it right now - it can't be put off or forgotten just because
I'm somewhere, or I am right in the middle of doing something. Chronic pain dose notforgive, nor
dose it wait for anyone. If you want to suggest a cure to me, please don;t. It's not bcaues I
don't apprerciate the thought, and its not because I don't want to get well. Lord knows that
isn't true. In all likelihood, if you've heard of it or tried it so have I. In some cases, I have
been made sicker, not better. This can involve side effects or allergic reactions. It also includes
failure, which inand of itself can make me feel lower. If there was something that cured, or even
helped people with my form of chronic pain, then we'd know about it. There is worldwide
networking (both on and off the internet) between people with chroniic pain. If something
worked, we would KNOW. It's definitely not for lack of trying. IF, after reading this,
you still feel the need to suggest a cure, then so be it. I may take what you said and discuss
it with my doctor.

If I seem touchy, its probably because I am. It's not how I try to be. As a matter of fact,
I try very hard to be normal. I hope you will try to understand. T have been, and am still, going
through a lot. Chronic pain is hard for you to understand unless you have had it. It wrecks
havoc on the body and the mind. It is exhausting and exasperating. Almost all the time, I
know that I am doing my best to cope with this, and live my life to the best of my ability.
I ask you to bear with me, and accept me for who I am. I know that you cannot literly
understand my situation unless you have been in my shoes, but as much as possible, I am asking
you to try to be understanding in general.

In many ways I depend on you - people who are not sick. I need you to visit me when I am too
sick to go out... Sometimes I need you to help me with shopping, cooking,or cleaning. I may
need you to take me to the doctor, or to the store. You are my link to the normalcy of life.
You can help me to keep in touch with the parts of life that I miss and fully intend to
undertake again, just as soon as I am able. I know that I asked a lot from you, and I do
thank you for listening. It really dose mean a lot to me...
~Aurthor unknown~

[ChrissySunshine]

Thank you so much Tigger, I'm sitting here crying...this hits the nail right on the head with what I'm going through. I'm gonna print is up and send it to at least one person that I can think of right now. Thank you so much Tigger, I hope your an OK day!

[pottywoman]

Oh, Tiger Gal if only these people would read it and listen. I too am crying after reading it because it is like I wrote it but didn't know the words for it. Sooooooooooo, many times I have heard "oh, you must feel better, you're smiling". If life could just be like it use to be and people could be nicer. Thanks for posting that.

[July]

When I am in your situation, I try to remember to say prayers for that person, that they will be more understanding and aware, and also most importantly that I will find ways to better relate and interact with the person.