not doing ivf

[holles]

well, the RE appt was a disaster. we aren't going to do ivf. i don't know if we'll ever look into it again. we've seen other REs in the past, and this was our last chance to have a family (dh won't open his heart to adoption). i called my ob/gyn's office, and the nurse gave me the number for yet another RE. :rolleyes: i called them yesterday, but hung up in tears because i just can't put my heart out there anymore. it hurts too much.

we were at peace last month. we were fine. we knew we wouldn't have children ever, and we were finally okay with it. then we decided to look into ivf, and now we're just torn to pieces.

anyway, i don't want to get into details, but we're both hurting a lot still. i think jeff is more angry than hurt. but i'm really hurt. so for now, we're going back to just being us and trying to find the happiness we had a month ago. it's amazing how much things can change in a matter of weeks.

i started the nuvaring last night to keep endometriosis from recurring. i want to live painfree, but it still stinks that to do that i have to take a drug that prevents conception (according to the RE it would take a miracle anyway).

if you're the praying type, please pray for us. we've grown so close over the past 12 years of marriage, and almost 10 years of infertility. but this was a huge blow to our feelings. it's hard to recover.

[Kara29]

Holly,

I will never have Biological Children due to IC and Fertility issues. I know the pain and I am here for you if you ever want to talk. I don't know if we will ever adopt but I hope someday we have the money and heart to. I am here for ya. Anytime you want to talk about not having kids and how much it hurts you can PM me and I will give you my email and we can talk about not having kids and what it is doing to us emotionally and mentally.

Love and Hugs to you Holly!

I feel it too, it's very raw right now and it hurts

Kara :angel:

[ihurttoo]

I am so sorry that you are going thru so much. Although my situation is a bit differant from yours, it is similar. We have 1 child, but I long for another. I had to have a total hysterectomy last Oct due to severe endometriosis. When we made the descion to go thru with the hysterectomy, I knew that at least adoption was something we could do. However, just this week, when I mentioned it again, my husband has taken that option off of the table. He says that he doesnt think I am healthy enough to take care of another one, and that I never will be. I keep hoping that when my pain meds are finally tweaked enough to keep my pain to a minimum without sedating me so much that he may change his mind. No one can tell what the future holds, and your husband may change his mind too. What are your husbands reasons for not wanting to adopt? Is it the money, the time involved, or something else? Once you know what his obstacles are, you will be that much closer to overcoming them. I cannot accept this from my husband, and I cant accept it from yours either. I just cant. I think that they will change their minds once they realize how much it means to us. Both of them are still in fresh emotional pain, (as are we), so it may take awhile for the wounds to heal before they are ready to put themselves out there again. But I really do believe that they will. I have just said a prayer for you. I will continue to pray for you. Each time I see your name on the board, either with a thread of your own, or responding to someone else's, it will serve as a reminder to me to pray again. I will not forget. Hugs, Amy

[dancemomof2]

:grouphug:

[SharonA]

:grouphug: :kissing:

[emilyrose197377]

:grouphug:

[sandramac]

:grouphug: i know too well what you are going through! Kara knows too.! it to painfull right now for me to go there,You will understand.Hugs Sandra :kissing: :grouphug:

[Babs RN]

Holly,
I suffered from 6 years of infertility and miscarriages. We had given up when I conceived Lindsey and carried her to term, with multiple complications. Please feel free to contact me if you need to vent. I also had stage IV endo as well.

Hugs,
Barb :grouphug:

[ICSF]

I have a long post in just venting that says "devestated, please help." If anyone knows how to put it here, they can. I'm not real computer savvy.
I just found out my husband doesn't want kids. I'm not sure off all the reasons as we are in the middle of a crisis over it. I, too, am devestated and I don't think a man can understand that as little girls that's all most of us knew for sure, that we'd be a mommy. I feel like my guts are ripped out. (more than usual) :) Interesting it's the husband's saying no. I'm glad to have found you here.

[Emma's Mommy]

i am so sad for you ladies and not being able to have children. If i could have babies for all of you i would. you are all in my thoughts and prayers that a miracle will bless you all.....

for those of you concidering adoption :bow: There are millions of babies out there looking for parents and anyone who is willing to take on that challenge is selfless and will make a wonderful mother!!!

i wish u all the best

[breezespeak]

Hello ladies.....wow I can't believe there are others in my situation, Husband won't adopt (I knew this going into the marriage but I'm still angry)....I need IVF AND a donor egg and I have IC suddenly just in time for a lap to correct a septum and Asherman's (uterine adhesions). Somebody up there does NOT want me to have a kid. My RE has not told me yet that IC rules out uterine laproscopy but I have a baaaaad feeling. I will be seeing an Asherman's expert on Tuesday but feel I should call and let him know about the IC in case it's a deal breaker.

I want to cry. I'm 40 and everyone says we'd be great parents. I almost just want to know one way or the other. I had a terrible missed miscarriage last summer and have been through several surgeries already just to have this new problem. Which, by the way for me is far worse than anything else that is wrong with me. It just feels awful and uncomfortable and i'm going to cope what choice do I have I just wish I got it AFTER the whole baby thing (or not at all!!!!!!) timing is everything and Time keeps working AGAINST me.

Thanks for listening. Any support would be greatly appreciated.

Gwenn

IC Newbie 40
IBS, Autoimmune Disease
Weaning off Prednisone after 17 years (possibly related to IC onset?)
Hot baths, hot water bottles, Advil (so far)

[breezespeak]

thank you

[breezespeak]

Hi Guys,

Just wanted you to know that you can totally have a septum removed or uterine adhesions removed during active IC. In fact, my doctor has offered to do the Cystoscopy (sp?) while I am out for the other surgery.

I think that makes so much sense. I'm feeling hopeful again. What a rollercoaster.

The good news is, I really do feel alittle better, or at least more in control of what I am feeling. The fear of peeing in my pants was the worst part but I seem to be able to control my bladder much more than I realized.

That's a relief.

Thanks everyone.

Gwenn :bow: