Bipolar Disorder

[CareBear]

I was at the doctor last week. He's treated me for depression several times over the past few years. He had me take a four page questionaire and then told me he thinks I have bipolar disorder. I was on Zoloft and he switched me to Paxcil CR and wants to start me on Depakote next week.

Does anyone else have bipolar disorder???? I am having a hard time accepting this diagnosis. I now fear the stigma that comes with the disease. I'm not crazy! Well, at least most of the time. :)

I would really appreciate hearing from anyone else. Please let me know how you treat your disorder. What meds to you take? What other therapies or natural things to you do? Have you ever had a manic episode? If so, what was it like? I've been wildly irresponsbile and wild in the past, but I'm not sure if I was actually manic. This is so confusing??!!??!! :loco:

Thanks!!

Cari :hmm:

[BellaTutu]

CareBear,

I was just dxed with Bi-Polar a few months ago - and wasnt real happy about it either but it made sense given my moods. I do not go "manic" however, I usually get angry for no reason (or little to no reason) and find myself obsessing over and nitpicking every little thing my kids do - its awful :( I also have the deep depression alot - then it seems to go away for a little bit (still dont get manic then either) - bad thoughts come and go as well, but its par for the course. I constantly had the "my mind wont shut off" thing (and still do) when I go to bed and then the worry sets in from everything to nothing at all - anxiety is another thing also.

My doctor had me on Risperidal for about 6 weeks but I had to stop taking it (and it DID help alot) due to lactating issues :rolleyes: That is one big side effect and once that happened, that was it for me. I'm currently not on anything else for it - but try to be aware when I am in "one of my moods" and tell the kids and hubby to "run and stay away ...far far away from me" so they dont get the brundt of my wrath.

There are 2 types of Bi-Polar disorder....I believe I am bi-polar I. I dont hear voices or believe people are out to get me (as some severe cases of bi-polar do have it).

Why does your doctor believe you have bi-polar vs. just chronic depression? There is a big difference between the two - I'd make real sure he's right before giving a dx. Just remember its not the end of the world if you ARE bi-polar - you just need to look at things a little different and get a sense of when you swing - and know that you are NOT crazy - its a chemical imbalance, and thats it. :)

[CareBear]

He said he's suspected for awhile, but it wasn't until I did the questionnaire that he was "sure." I suffer from anxiety a lot! I try to change my thinking and pray, etc. but it just seems that the anxiety is physical. I do also get the deep, physically painful, crying all the time, suicidal thought type depressions. I've suspected bipolar for several years, since I read a long article about it in Time magazine. My behavior and moods kind of fit. Although when I was younger I abused drugs and alcohol quite frequently, so looking back its hard to remember real mania from drug induced mania. :rolleyes:

Yikes! I am so thankful to be out of that time of my life! :)

Thanks for the encouragement!

Cari

[Baba Yaga]

What we think of as "crazy" also comes from a chemical imbalance, but bi-polar disorder does not involve that unless the bi-polar is severe and the patient is experiencing severe mania with delusions.

I think I have mild bi-polar, and I think that is connected my extreme sensitivity to antidepressants. I was really charged up by the zoloft I was on recently, and am trying a small dose of cymbalta right now.

[creatingkarma]

I was diagnosed with bi-polar 5 years ago. I have gone through countless meds trying to find what worked for me, but we finally found the right combo a couple years ago. I've been pretty stable since then - as long as I stay on my meds. I take Lexapro & lorazepam for anxiety. I definitely had mania & did some pretty crazy things, but I also had the deep dark suicidal depression. I believe that I've had this since high school & I was thrilled to finally get a diagnosis & some help for it - more than 10 years after onset. I really wish now that I would've gotten help sooner. I would have periods where I wouldn't eat or sleep for days & was higher than life. Then I would do nothing but sleep & cry & want to die for days. Then start the cycle all over again.

[green_the_fish]

Hi CareBear. I am also bipolar, type one. I have been hospitalized twice for it. My meds are on my siggy.

Yes, there is a negative stigma that goes with this diagnosis, but did you know that there are also positives that go with it? Because so many artists and writers are said to have had bipolar disorder (Virginia Woolf, Mark Twain, Vincent van Gogh, etc), it also often associated with creativity and intelligence.
When I was at the psych ward for the second time, I remember talking to one of the staff members about this topic. She said that she saw bipolar people often, and that they usually seemed very imaginative and artistic. Once they stablized, they were often clever as well.

P.S.
Baba Yaga, I believe that bipolar disorder does involve a chemical imbalance. If you Google bipolar disorder and chemical imbalace, I think you will find some studies thats support this. This is still a matter up for debate, though.

[Sarojini]

I was diagnosed with Bipolar Type II in the Fall of 2004. My psychiatrist and I thought I was simply depressed, because I was going through a rough time and WAS in a depressed phase; however it was the first time I'd been treated for it. Anyway, he put me on Zoloft and I went wild; within 2 weeks I was rapid cycling between manic episodes (wanting to stay up all night, a compulsion to shop, irritable, just wacky) and serious depression (sobbing for days, bad thoughts, sleeping all the time -- although that had a lot to do with fibro fatigue too).

My psych then said I was likely bipolar since bipolar patients (particularly females, for some reason) can respond to SSRI's like Zoloft with rapid cycling moods. We got me off the Zoloft immediately and I started Topamax, which is being used off label to treat bipolar; it didn't work... so we switched to a drug called Lamictal (lamotrigine). It's an anti-seizure med that is also used to treat bipolar -- it's good because you don't have to have blood levels checked like you do with Depakote, etc, so if it works for you it's convenient.

Luckily, the combination of Lamictal and some Klonopin for my anxiety attacks has gotten me pretty stable. After further discussion of my previous episodes, my psychiatrist said I'd likely been bipolar for a long time.

It's treatable, and you're not nuts. Just a chemical imbalance! :) :grouphug:

[Baba Yaga]

P.S.
Baba Yaga, I believe that bipolar disorder does involve a chemical imbalance. If you Google bipolar disorder and chemical imbalace, I think you will find some studies thats support this. This is still a matter up for debate, though.
Yes, I agree with that completely. What I was trying to say was that what we call crazy is also a chemical imbalance -- and that bi-polar does not involve that kind of "craziness" except in very extreme cases and episodes. Usually that kind of patient (delusional and/or having auditory hallucinations) is taken to be schizophrenic or some variant of that, but sometimes their state is attributed to mania.

[CareBear]

Hi everyone. Thanks for your posts and all the love. I have to say I am feeling terrified right now. I am been thinking about this whole bipolar thing non-stop for 2 weeks. It is driving me to despair. I don't want to be bipolar!!! I don't want to have to take three different meds to keep me from losing my mind. I think I am more afraid of the meds than I am of anything! This is so upsetting and no one understands how I feel. Why is this such a big deal for me? I don't want to end up on the psych ward--that is my big fear-that these meds are gonna mess me up and I'm gonna lose it and end up locked up. I am having such a total hard time dealing with and accepting this diagnosis. What do I do??

I really need some help.

[BellaTutu]

CareBear,

Sloooooooooooooow down hun - take a deep breath and relax your mind and your fears. Being bi-polar isnt fun by any means, however its not the end of the world. I totally understand your frustrations and fears -but honey, THAT is part of being bi-polar - you are going to have the fears, you are going to have anxiety and worry about every little thing that comes along; you are going to do the "what if" thing over and over again - it's all par for the course. I wasnt happy I was diagnosed with this condition - it made me really think about all the crap that doctors told me before getting a firm diagnosis of IC (and all my other diseases too) - that resonating "Its all in your head" verbage kept ringing through until it drove me nuts!! Its NOT in my head - not now..not then...not ever - what is in my head is no different than what is in anyone elses head - I have a brain and it just works a little different than what someone else might call "normal". Who defines what normal is anyway?? :rolleyes: For ME ...I am normal - maybe its everyone else that isnt - ever think of it that way? *hugs you tightly*

Being bi-polar isnt a death sentence - its no more worse than having any other chronic illness. It doesnt mean you're crazy by any means and if anyone tells you otherwise...know that they are wrong. Do you take meds for your IC? Do you take meds when you have a headache? Do you take vitatmins to supplement your nutrition? If you do, then its no different taking a medicine for Bi-Polar either - if it works and helps you - then thats a good thing isnt it? :)

Just remember that WORRYING and doing the "what if's" thing is normal in every day life - its just a little more eccelerated in those of us with bi-polar. Why dont you sit down with your doctor and talk about your options - trust me, when I was on the med I was on for bi-polar it helped me alot, and I wish I could take it (or something else) now but I had severe side effects from it - but that doesnt mean YOU will have side effects honey....its worth a try - and remember you're not alone...and you're not crazy.

Tons of hugs!

[jensue973]

Well I am glad that I am not alone and there are others out there who have Bipolar Disorder and know the daily struggles I go thru everyday. My 12 yr old son has Bipolar Disorder so it is even harder to deal with..I have IC, IBS, Bipolar Disorder, questionable Fibromyalgia due to body pain and aches etc, and last year I had the Interstim surgery...I currently am not on any medicines for my IC and only take for pain Tramadol I think it is called. I take Risperdal and Depakote for my Bipolar Disorder. I do have my ups and downs and I'll admit I have had my times where I honestly feel I am gonna lose my mind. I have not worked in years and even when I did, I never held a job for long cause people dont understand with Bipolar Disorder things that go thru your mind make things so much harder. I am shy or you could say always have a fear of being judged which made it so hard to work..I want to work, but mentally I dont' think I can handle it cause I have a hard time just handling day to day dramas in my life with my family and friends..I applied for SSI a few years ago and got denied and can't get disability cause I don't have enough work credits but am considering reapplying but I am so overwhelmed with the thought of the process and being denied again. Like I have no idea where to begin...I find I have that issue in many parts of my life. Like my house I'll admit is big but an average person could probably clean it up and down in an hour or so...It would take me more than a day to do it cause mentally I can't do it like that..Its so hard cause no one around me understands this and thinks I am just lazy, but they dont' understand how it is and it would be so nice to know I had someone to talk to that went thru the same stuff I do..Well enough of me going on and on....any ideas or suggestions please let me know...Thanks

Jennifer